#224 Lydia Cornell is Too Close For Comfort

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Jeff Dwoskin 0:28

All right, Deborah, thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You get this show going each and every week, and this week was no exception. Welcome, everybody to Episode 224 of classic conversations. As always, I am your host, Jeff Dwoskin. Great to have you back for another classic conversation that's too close for comfort. Why? Oh my goodness. Yes, that is right. Sara Raasch. Lydia Cornell from too close for comfort is here. You'll love to Lydia and LeBeau, the 18th Night writer, hotel, curb your enthusiasm and a million other credits. You're gonna love my conversation with Lydia. We talk all about uncanny coincidences and her podcast God shots her career, her path to sobriety, so much goodness coming up in just a few seconds. And in these few seconds, I just want to remind everyone, Episode 223 with Beth Lapidus, creator of uncover Ray the godmother of alternative comedy. Check that out right now. All right now let's all get cozy, maybe too cozy, maybe too close, maybe too close for comfort, and enjoy my conversation with the incredible Lydia Cornell. Enjoy. All right, everyone, I'm excited to introduce you to my next guest, TV and film star. AFI Best Actress nominee, People's Choice Award winner, international star have over 250 shows and films including Curb Your Enthusiasm. They'll love both. And of course, to close for comfort, everyone, welcome to the show. Lydia Cornell. Hey.

Lydia Cornell 2:16

Thank you, Jeff, what a cool intro.

Jeff Dwoskin 2:18

I mean, you got like a million things to list off. So I didn't want to do that. Because I want it. I know we only have so much time. I don't know why we use all the time. Just so thank you so much for hanging out with me on my podcast.

Lydia Cornell 2:30

You from Detroit. I had to meet you. Here. You're funny.

Jeff Dwoskin 2:33

I thought Well, thank you. I'm glad where it is spreading. I'm wearing a Michigan t shirt because oh, I'm wearing it on purpose. Because I know one of the kind of threads in too close for comfort was Ted Knight's character wearing different universities. But the first one that he wore was Michigan.

Lydia Cornell 2:51

Oh, I didn't know that. That's a good piece of trivia. Thank you.

Jeff Dwoskin 2:55

I was rewatching. The pilot. I was like, it's awesome.

Lydia Cornell 3:01

Oh, the pilot. Oh my god, that was funny. It was

Jeff Dwoskin 3:04

so funny. So I definitely want to talk about too close for comfort and all that kind of good stuff. It is a lot of good stuff to talk about. And one of the things that kind of struck me. I was listening to your podcast, God shots. I'm one of the intros you had a quote Einstein's quote, which is coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. Yeah, sometimes when you hear a quote, you're like, Damn, that was like that really, like hit me. And I was just like, that's a great quote. Because like, coincidence to me is always like that crazy thing. And that guides and

Lydia Cornell 3:35

I'm so glad you said that you just made my day I got tears in my eyes. Because that every time I go back to that, and I realized how many of those bizarre uncanny coincidences I've had. Ever since I got sober. I feel like I'm on a magical magic carpet ride. Ever since I started to surrender all my worry and fear and on a daily basis, I believe in the magic of the universe. Now I didn't before but it happened when I had that spiritual awakening. And I began to live in this higher realm of thinking, I don't always go there. I forget, like we're human, you know, we're in the Mortal Realm. But when I remember that, and even Einstein, I believe it's it's quantum physics, but it's we're all energy anyway. And the more you put your thoughts on love, the higher your your actions will be towards your fellow man and toward you know, your your enemies or your worries and fears, and you withdraw your attention from your enemies and expire from neglect. So most of my enemies are really my own head. And when I go with the flow of life, and I stopped fighting reality, I experienced these coincidences, which I call God shots. They're just a glimpse of Uncanny synchronicity. And Carl Jung wrote a book called synchronicity. So I'm trying to tie it all together and prove that this magic exists. If we put our thoughts on love on the higher ideas. I know it sounds a little wacky complex.

Jeff Dwoskin 4:52

No, I'm I'm a big believer that what you focus on is what you manifest and what you put out in the universe is is what do you universe hears and kind of cycles back to you. I love your podcast and it's just it's such a it's a positive message when I was kind of going down, Lydia Cornell rabbit hole of contact in your YouTube channel and then that just you put such positivity out into the world. It was just it's so nice to see someone focus.

Lydia Cornell 5:21

Thank you because I need it. You know, it's because I came from a lot of abuse and trauma chat, you know, all that mortal history, it doesn't really define us. And we have to that we're here for one purpose to overcome that overcome our selfishness and our deep woundedness and help others that's what I think we're here for. It took me you know, a while to discover, to get rid of my ego, it's really hard on a daily basis, edging God out aegyo or edging good out the acronym. It's hard.

Jeff Dwoskin 5:49

It's a whole mental shift. But that quote, It was just I because I always talk like I've always said, I always go, there's no such thing as coincidence. Like anytime things happen, those things happened on purpose, right. And so when I heard that, quote, I was like, Ah, this is the quote I've been searching for this is like, this wraps it up. And so anyway, I

Lydia Cornell 6:08

Well, there's another part to that. The other part I love that Einstein said is that no problem can be solved to the same level that was created on. So I took that further, and I said, You can't fight fire with fire. You can't fight alcoholism, with more alcohol or drugs, you have to go to a higher solution. You can't fight war with bombs. I mean, we try we've done this war creates peace, but you really can't, you have to go to a higher solution, a diplomatic or a spiritual solution. And spiritual isn't a word to be afraid of. It means the thought realm. And Emerson said, thoughts create the world thoughts are everything, whatever you think, becomes your reality and your viewfinder, your thoughts point you in the direction you go. It's kind of cool and coincidence. It's really interesting. The actual action of believing the coincidence isn't random is the match is the actual mechanism that creates the reality of your world. It's really hard to understand this. But you have to take a leap of believing in this magic that the universe isn't against you that it's friendly. And then don't just say, Oh, just coincidence, people who say that don't ever evolve past their prism. They're in a little viewfinder they're in right now. If you keep looking at what is and repeat what is and repeat the bad news, you will never graduate above that level, and you won't experience this happiness. I've had glimpses of this joy. I've had lots of years of experiencing it. I go back and forth, and I watch the news too much or I fall backward into a lot of misery at times with my friends and commiserating with everything going wrong, even in my own life. But when I get back into that, believing in the coincidence, I start experiencing them more and more like rapidly tons of them. We can all do this, we can all access this

Jeff Dwoskin 7:46

amazing message.

Lydia Cornell 7:48

So that you said that it's so cool. I knew there was a reason I met you Thank you.

Jeff Dwoskin 7:52

Now here we are. Let's talk about the coincidences that kind of lead you into the path of acting and just becoming an actor the journey for you started

Lydia Cornell 8:04

well the first major one on too close for comfort I have to tell you about but it started as a child when I went to Disneyland I think I was obsessed with make believe and it was probably a way to alter my reality and altered state. I wanted to get out of the world, maybe because we had some trials at home. Bless my mother. She was bipolar. But there was so much strict the upbringing was very strict. And I have a lot of I was just a creative being I wanted to play all the time. So when I went to Disneyland, I was obsessed with escaping, and I wanted to be an actress after I saw my first Hayley Mills movie, and it wasn't the Parent Trap. It was Moon spinners with Eli Wallach, and then I just had this dream and so I entered acting classes at 12 at the YMCA or the YWCA in El Paso, Texas. We moved to New York and I joined the drama club. I was a nerd had bad I had acne, I used to plaster my hair over my skin. I tried out for every play. My best friend in high school was a gay guy named Monroe. We were the best friends and we're both actors. So we tried out for every play we tried out for Shakespeare's does a fellow and we read, we memorized every act and we got the part of torchbearers so I didn't get the part of Desdemona, I stood behind the head cheerleader who played Desdemona. And I had to wear long sideburns on my face and hold the torch behind her. And it's like, those are our parts and then we started getting leads and plays enemy of the people. I played Petra and he played as listen. But anyway, cut to getting the part on too close for comfort. I tried to break into the music business at caribou Ranch, anything to get in your showbiz, and that was in Colorado, got out to California. The third audition I got was this show called Keep it in the family and I got to the audition. I was new in LA. It had been raining that day and I was drenched. I took a bus to get there. And when I got to the audition, the Secretary receptionist said too late. They've seen foreign to girls, they're finished tomorrow the call backs at the network. Do you too late honey, and I started to cry Hi. And Arne Sultan walks out of the office. They just finished seeing the last girl. This is an actual true story. And he goes, let her read. She looks the part. I was wearing a cheerleader sweater and I was wearing tight jeans and they sit me down. I'm reading with I think Marcy Carsey might have been in the office at the time, Bob still fee Arnie Sultan and the casting director. And there was a pardon the script, it says, Sarah gives data raspberry, so I didn't know where the raspberry was. And I read the line. I think it was, in case you haven't noticed were two very sophisticated young women. And I picked up an imaginary raspberry went so there and I thrust it toward Arne. And he goes, What the hell are you giving me here? I said, I'm handing you a raspberry. And he goes, he the whole room exploded and laughter. Oh, actually, Tom Warner was in the room. That's right. And they all said What planet are you from? And I think I said, Texas. I was so nervous and upset. They were laughing. I was like, cringing, and they go, Oh, my God. She really is perfect for this part. She's the dumb blonde we're looking for. And Lisa, can you beat the network tomorrow morning. And sure. I went in for my first big network call back. They chosen five girls out of 400. And I'm the only one wearing a virginal white flowered dress. All the others were wearing overly sexualized outfits, you know, like their nipples showing everything was like she's supposed to be a sex symbol, I guess. And I read with Ted Knight, I was like, wow, this is cool. I know him from The Mary Tyler Moore Show. I was a big fan, you know. And I was meeting the executive. I mean, the President of ABC, Tony Demopolis. And the entire network was there. All the big shots up at the Shubert Theater above the ABC offices. And at the end of my reading, they were laughing at everything I did. It was like, wow, that was fun. And then this girl comes over the woman I'd read with the place Jackie Deborah Vaughn Valkenburg. She comes over and says, you know, what's your name again? Because is it a it's a weird name. I went yeah. Lydia Kornilov core Nila strange Russian name. I've got to find a shorter name. She goes well, I worked with a man named Gregory Cornel off in Holland. I mean, in New York, and I went, That's my dad. She worked for my father. That's weird. 10 million people in New York City. And because she told me he'd moved to Holland. And we my parents had moved to the Hague at that point. And he had died. By the time I had this audition, he passed away. And then they also told me I got the part right then in there, they said, We never do this. But you are our new Sarah rush. And we're gonna call your agent after we tell you first was like, wow, I got the part. Deborah comes over to me and says, I used to work for your father as a secretary. And I thought this is I didn't know what to call it back then. I now call it a gotcha. A coincidence. That's uncanny. That's an

Jeff Dwoskin 12:38

incredible story. Yeah. That was your dad letting you know, he was watching. Exactly. Yeah. That's incredible.

Lydia Cornell 12:45

And Deborah and I are still best friends. Today. I wrote a movie where she played we play sisters again. And Venus conspiracy. Yeah. But the big feature film version is now going to go out soon. It's a big women's movie, high concept comedy for lots of really funny women. Only get Kristen Wiig to play the lead.

Jeff Dwoskin 13:01

Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah. Well, hey, let's talk about that for a second. So you did a one woman show called relation shop? Yeah, that came first. So Right. Because when I watched that, there's a lot there's dialogue in that. That was in the Venus conspiracy. When you were doing relationship? Was that the idea of kind of workshopping this idea, or like that was so successful, that you're like, Oh, now I can. I'm going to turn this into an expanded feature.

Lydia Cornell 13:27

Interestingly, I have been writing for years for decades. I mean, when I first in Colorado, I started writing and I have all my poetry and essays and suitcases still there locked. And then I started feeling so angry the way women are treated in the industry, until the me to movement 2016 I didn't know anyone felt the way I did that sexual harassment and all that. And it's been overly done at this point. I think we're, we attacked too many men, I, I raise boys, and is the mother of sons trying to raise good men in the world. I love men. I love boys. I think we should still be flirting with each other. I think we should still be able to pick each other up at work. And there's a lot of things. I think they were over an overcorrection but there are some real sleazy people in this industry. And so early on, I felt Gosh, I've never felt there were any limits on me. And then I run up against the wall going you're a girl you can't do that. You can't write your own show. And I was thinking I came up with this came to me fully formed when I got sober all these beautiful things started coming, the writing sort of formed itself in a more organized way. And that was also off drugs and alcohol. I you know, early on in life, I'd done cocaine and I'd done acid and in college and Boulder, Colorado, we'd all tried everything, not heroin, but and my baby brother died of a heroin overdose when I was sober. So I have a lot of recovery stories and a lot of people I help in recovery right now. But the drugs are really just a way of numbing yourself so you don't have to deal with the world. And it's an actual disc disease dis ease, but I started writing out of anger and out of passion for a subject matter. are women's issues and I started I thought there is a plot to keep women thin and insecurity started in the advertising industry. What are they selling us teeth whiteners teeth are supposed to be ivory, not white, deodorant take away and certain things are good. But I started I came up with a pharmaceutical conspiracy years ago about a corporation called Venus. And it's a combination of Victoria's Secret mixed with MTV mix with they owned everything, the media, they owned everything, and they sold you what to buy. So it's a real plot driven thriller, action comedy. And it's, it's got shades of Austin Powers and all this stuff. And I workshop, the tiny, the independent film we did for 27 minute pilot was just the comic scenes between the Sisters where she thinks I'm crazy. So there's one person who knows the truth and her whole family's against her. So you have to create a character that's likable. It's a little nutty. And it was fun filming it because I got this director who's 22 years old Dustin Voight, brilliant guy, and he has so much to offer. Now I realize the joy of collaborating in a film. That's what I love about Hollywood, the good people out here that are truly creative. Not you don't have to focus on the bad. There is an ethic here. There are great people here. I mean, Steven Spielberg inspired me by his sense of wonder, and that's the Hollywood I want to be a part of. So now that I'm really dedicated to creating my own work in the world again, and it takes a while to get your confidence back to do that. I want to work with really creative people. And they're everywhere.

Jeff Dwoskin 16:24

Sorry to interrupt, have to take a quick break. I want to thank everyone for their support of the sponsors. When you support the sponsors. You're supporting us here at Classic conversations. And that's how we keep the lights on. And now back to my amazing conversation with Lydia Cornell. And we're back. You're really creative. I read at one point you kind of moved away from acting and kind of started focusing more on writing. Yeah, the one person show and you're a great writer. I mean, you're a great performer. You are extremely great performer and hilarious performer and so thank you so much. Sure. Kristen WAGs great, but make sure you got a good roll on there, too.

Lydia Cornell 16:59

Oh, you're so sweet. But see, that's the the I couldn't get roles at 35. I was told I was too old at 35 in the 80s or whenever I turned 30. But it was a different era than it is today. And women weren't allowed to work if you were supposed if you were categorized as pretty or a sex symbol, which I was and believe me all those poster sessions I did I'm looking at them now going hope my kids never see those. You know those posters because I've never done nudity. But the ABC network had me pose in really skimpy bikinis to promote the show. And it was the trend in the 80s. It was a backlash against the 70s the feminist movement, Suzanne Somers, myself, Farrah Fawcett. Cheryl Tiegs, we all did these really kind of overly sexualized poster sessions. Then they offer you cocaine and champagne on the set and you were like loopy, and you're willing to take you know, I almost took my clothes off. I'm so glad I never did. And they tried to get me to do it in a movie I did in the 80s. On my first film with James Earl Jones and Jose Ferreira and the Greek Isles, the producers said you have to swim underwater. We have an underwater camera, you're gonna swim out to the agency, and the director is on top of a mountain he'll yell cut, but there'll be an underwater camera and you have to look topless from behind and I went, how am I gonna do that? I know manager to protect me. I'm a member of sag Union, but I had nobody on the set to protect me and I refused to do topless. I just refused because i thought i i have a TV series coming out where I'm an All American girl. I'm not going to do nudity. In case I have children one day, and they tricked me they tried everything to trick me. And I came up with a solution with the word of Lady we didn't speak the same language. She's this Greek word or woman and she said I said no this she goes haha, zinc oxide. She pulled out a two zinc oxide white paste to waterproof she smeared it all over my boobs. And when I dove into the water, they couldn't catch any any boop shots. It was all white. So I tricked them. And then that night I went into the DPS K we all all the everyone lived in kind of caves in this Agean village and one in Basia. It was a Byzantine fortress. I stole the I took the kind of film because I was so scared that they would find it. They didn't use that footage anyway, because they couldn't but that was my first experience ever in Hollywood. So anyway, those those things made up my desire to write about women's issues. It's sort of organically developed.

Jeff Dwoskin 19:17

Where I guess it sounds like you've been objectified since the very beginning. Like yeah, so that was blood tied. If we even wrote wrote back to the path that got you connected with Aaron Spelling on the LeBeau before you became a guest star. You're just bikini clad, being hit on by Artie Johnson.

Lydia Cornell 19:36

Exactly. That's the first I don't think I even got a credit for that Love Boat. The other coinkidink there are gutshot is Audrey Meadows was in that episode and she would eventually play my grandmother but that came about because I walked into La Scala a restaurant in Beverly Hills with a date. I was only in town for three weeks, and my father hadn't see before my father died. And at the front Booth was Aaron spelling, Natalie Wood, Robert Wagner and Fred Astaire sitting together at the front booth. And I was starstruck, like shaking. And my agent friend, Jerry Zeitlin. He goes, Hey, you want he walked by their table and introduce me. And then we sat across from them in a booth. And during the dinner, Natalie Wood went like this to me. She summoned me with her index finger and I was going. And I walked over. I was like, led by some force. I was just so scared to talk to these people. Because they were, you know, I was so starstruck. And Natalie Wood said to me, Aaron, spelling would like to meet you. And he said, Are you new in town? So it's like they were on the prowl for anybody who Aaron Spelling was looking out for new girls. And he had he had Starsky and Hutch on the air, I think and Charlie's Angels, and he was casting something called Bad cats that Michelle Pfeiffer got. And he said, How would you come in and meet Kathy Henderson tomorrow, our casting director for Love Boat, and that's how I got my first love book. So that's how it

Jeff Dwoskin 20:53

happened. And then you did a bunch of Aaron Spelling shows.

Lydia Cornell 20:58

Yeah, once you're a star in a series you get I was a star up to close for comfort. So they would offer almost every star of a TV show got was invited to do love boats or hotel they only use as a guest star. So I did six love boats to hotels. Fantasy Island. I did an early Charlie's Angels before anyone else knew who I was. And it was with Diego TA and Cheryl was Charlotte. Yes. Cheryl Ladd? No, Shelly AK, Shelly hack, and Kate Jackson. And make sure a lot of was in that too. And then I did TJ hooker I did 13 Aaron Spelling shows like a whole season of Aaron Spelling shows, which is kind of fun.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:34

So it was that like that you did the Aaron Spelling rounds, and then all the game show rounds. And you weren't doing the show. Weird. It's fun now, because you got all that stuff. You can look back, I dug into some of the lovebug videos that you had one of them which was interesting. In season five, with Linwood Boomer who went on to become the creator of Malcolm in the Middle. Yeah. So I thought that

Lydia Cornell 21:58

was interesting. I have a gut shot about that. So I'll tell you in a minute.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:02

And then another one where you were, you were an ad exec and you actually got engaged at the end of the LeBeau. That was was that Brody Grier that one was? Can't remember. Yeah, Brody Grier Brody Greer was the ad agent you kept and inspiring. Throwing in your own ideas.

Lydia Cornell 22:19

You're not going to believe this Linwood Boomer story, but go ahead, finish your sentence.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:23

No, I was gonna say when I was watching the one where so the one law about is your your with your mom, and they're doing a commercial and the guys doing the ad and you keep telling him ways to make it better? Oh, yeah. And he gets all irritated and mad. And eventually you fall in love, right. But the. But it reminded me a work when I worked. I worked for this huge company. And they hired an agency and I'd never worked with an agency before. And during a meeting once I said, Oh, what if we did this? And afterwards they go, Jeff, you got to call them apologize. I'm like, What are you talking about? He's like, you can't tell them what to do. You can tell you can refer to the brief where you could never tell them what to do. And then like that, I'm like, What are you talking about? So I was like, as silly as it was. You're weird. That's really how Yeah, that's really how it goes down.

Lydia Cornell 23:09

You don't even want ideas. What did you have a great idea. They didn't think of it. Weird.

Jeff Dwoskin 23:14

Alright, Linwood, Boomer God shot go.

Lydia Cornell 23:16

Okay, so my first job out in Hollywood, I was combing the streets dropping my resume off at different studios. I went to the Samuel Goldwyn studio lot. And I broke in I sneaked in. I did this also at Paramount earlier and I actually walked right into the middle of Happy Days set. And Gary Marshall and Jerry Paris said, Darling, you just ruined you know, you walked in the middle of a scene. I asked him for a job, but at the goldwind lot, I was putting my resume under different doors, and I was walking down the hall and Jack Webb and Paul Donnelly, the head of production at university were walking down the hall and they go What can we help you and I went, I'm looking for a job as a receptionist or secretary and they said well, we're hiring Georgie Sherman upstairs in my office is hiring. He's a director go on up right now. You're hired or something like they thought I was cute. I guess it's that kind of thing. You know, in those days, Jack Webb himself and I walk upstairs. You're just Sherman hired me on the spot. He's a tiny little producer, very famous. He did all the B westerns, John Wayne movies, Red River, I think. And Jane Mansfield movies in those days and he was this adorable, tiny little man. I love that lesson. And we became very close. We work together and there was a xerox copy boy that came in the office. His name was Linwood Boomer, and we would sit there and talk about it. We want to be actors. I'm dying to be an actor. And I say I want to be an actress. By the way, I don't use the word actress anymore. You don't call a lawyer, a lawyer wrist or a doctor doctress it's only with waitress mistress and adulterous, for the trust ending. But anyway, that's one of my feminist jokes. So Linwood, and I would just dream about being actors, and he would take the Xerox thing and come back and we would talk all day about this cut to a year later with a year and a half later. I was on chocolates for covered. He was a Little House on the Prairie as the blind preacher married to Melissa Sue Anderson, I believe two years after that. We started a love book together or however many years after that, so and then he went on to create Malcolm in the Middle, so I knew him. We knew each other way back. And it was one of those other little kinky things. That's awesome. During that time on Jack Webb, I also got to meet Mark Harmon. Oddly enough, we had the same godmother, Gail Patrick Jackson, who produced the Perry Mason show, my mother worked for her husband, Courtney Jackson when she was in Hollywood. And the studio they were at was the a&m record studio on La Brea used to be a movie studio that Herb Alpert and Jerry moss ended up using as an records. And then Lana Turner came in for hair tests. And she was replaced by Anne Bancroft, and Leslie Nielsen. So I met all these people on one movie, little Mo, and I got a production credit on that. It was really cool.

Jeff Dwoskin 25:51

That's awesome. That's, that's really cool. You mentioned stumbling on to the set of Happy Days. So I just want to mention this because when I interviewed Anson Williams, I mentioned I brought this up with him but you guys go hosted New Year's Rockin Eve together and December of 1982, ushering in 1983 That must have been like about the height of that too close for comfort thing that they grabbed you for the 11th Dick Clark New Year's rocking

Lydia Cornell 26:21

11 Oh, it's cool.

Jeff Dwoskin 26:22

You got to hang with Barry Manilow?

Lydia Cornell 26:24

Holla notes go go psicologos Ronnie Milsap

Jeff Dwoskin 26:28

Jermaine Jackson, your main tax.

Lydia Cornell 26:31

I love answering my I just ran into Anson Saturday night hugging and kissing. He's just so I love him. And I love Donnie Donnie most and I dated back in 79

Jeff Dwoskin 26:40

your data donemus That's

Lydia Cornell 26:42

picture from the newspaper of us being in the paper to Lydia Cornell with a K they put my name with a K young starlet date's done most Donnie must

Jeff Dwoskin 26:52

Peasy easy diving is done now.

Lydia Cornell 26:54

Don, but I he directed. He directed a movie I did two years ago with Linda pearl on Zoom. The first zoom movie.

Jeff Dwoskin 27:01

Oh, the viral? Yeah. vignettes.

Lydia Cornell 27:04

Yeah, we got best acting duo and he got best director several times different film festivals. That's

Jeff Dwoskin 27:11

awesome. Now on my Instagram I can I can confidently say I've interviewed both co hosts of the New Year's Rockin Eve 1980. Just on my bucket list and check it off. There we go. The It was fun. I can imagine that.

Lydia Cornell 27:27

They tape it a month before New Year's Eve and they tape it in LA it looks like you're in New York. And then in New York. I was in New York for New Year's Eve and people saw me on the street. They go wait, I just saw you on TV. I go Yeah, I don't tell them. We taped it a month ago. You know,

Jeff Dwoskin 27:40

I feel like you just told me Sands is not real. Oh, no, I'm so sorry. But I kinda we used to go to Disney World in December, we'd always go the first week of December. I love Disney World. You love Disneyland. So they never been Disneyland, though. Anyway, but so we do go that first week. And because that's like the less crowded week. And so it's a good week to go. Oh, that's when they film the Disney Christmas parade is that Saturday? And so it's all that's all done in advance as well. So Oh, darn. All right. Oh, stand up. Have you done actual, like stand up comedy like yes, but

Lydia Cornell 28:16

there's nothing more painful in the world and more scary. You just shaking. I'm like, I gotta stop worrying how I look. See, that's the main thing I want to get over looks hism I would love to like Deborah right now is letting her hair go gray. And she doesn't care. She played a 99 year old woman and Ghost Whisperer few years ago, like when that was on. And I'm like, I am not able to not try to look good still because of that old messaging. You know, and we are getting older. I love Jean smart on hacks. She's able to just age kind of be her full self. But I also don't feel that I believe in aging that much. We don't have to age badly we can just become more real. But anyway, stand up by the way. They don't. My standup partner destiny. We did a show at Morongo casino we opened for Paul Rodriguez 15,000 people, and I was so nervous. We opened for the amazing Jonathan at huge Casino. What was that? The Sahara Hotel? Yeah, the Sahara. It was so nerve wracking. Because I'm not used to stand up. She grew up in stand up industry. She went on Jay Leno once and he said you're too pretty to stand up to my partner destiny. He said you should have put on a potato sack and look ugly because no pretty women are allowed to do comedy. This is these are the things we've been told. You're not allowed to be funny if you're pretty. You have to be a little fat a little bit horsey a little bit. You know, you got to be real from B or like Phyllis Diller. That's what I was told my whole life. So being funny. You got to be really talented to be a comedian if you're supposed to be a pretty person. And when I went back to that thing I was going to tell you, it's a curse just to be labeled a sex symbol or having been pretty because you're not allowed to age on camera. That's why Maryland died in the nick of time to be immortalized. I don't know if she would have been accepted forever. Betty White was but she wasn't a sex symbol Meryl Streep There's always going to be a character actress because she's brilliant. But Raquel Welch didn't work much past Myra Breckinridge, you know, maybe in her 30s or 40s. Anyway, the point being, we have to reshape the industry and I do have a lot of stand up I want to do based on my new book, which will be finished very soon. It's called hiding my brain and my bra. And the first version I turned in to the agents, and it's too funny, your books too funny. I mean, that's how I write, I write everything turns into comedy, since I got sober. I see the world through a lens of absurdity. And he said, well, where's the dark chapters? Now I'm weaving those in, but it's still got a tinge of hope and humor in it. It's still funny. There's a lot of marriage chapters that are very funny, because my marriage, only the good remains in every relationship. And you have to spin it the way that helps you survive, I guess, humor is the greatest survival mechanism tool.

Jeff Dwoskin 30:55

When you're a comedian. Some of the funniest things can be found from those darkest moments. So the amazing Jonathan is why I got into comedy. I saw Billy, I saw the amazing Jonathan and I was fortunate enough to see him again before he passed away. Yeah, and I was able to tell him, I was like, Oh, yeah. And I, when I saw you, like, that's when I got the idea that this was a thing that that I could do is stand up comedy. I was I thought he was funny. So when I saw you open for him, I thought that was the coolest thing.

Lydia Cornell 31:24

Wow, it's so neat. Oh my gosh. Yeah. He was amazing. It was amazing.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:29

Speaking of hiding my brain and my bra, so you played a bra salesman on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Lydia Cornell 31:35

Yeah, another coinkidink. And this all started happening after I had this big surrender, you know, and I got sober because I had a spiritual awakening. I always call it well, when did these gunshots start happening? Right? Then it was like, Wow, maybe it's real. God is real. God, to me is love and it's not necessarily religious. But then I went back to understand the religious aspect. But anyway, um, I was, I called Bob Whitey, who directed curb. And he was my former boyfriend years ago. And when I met him, he was still working on the Marx Brothers documentary, The Kurt Vonnegut documentary, Woody Allen documentary, and the Oh, the famous comic who got in trouble for Lenny Bruce. Yes, Lenny Bruce. So Bob was just this a creative artist that doing all these docks, and we were dating. And later you find, you know, after we after I got married, and I was sitting at home one day, my kids were at school, and I said, I want to be on curb. I'll call Bob. And I never asked anyone for favors. He said, Hey, why don't you come in tomorrow and read with Larry, I read with Larry. Oh, God, you know, I get very nervous about these kinds of things. And he goes, I said, Can you give me a hint? And he goes, well, she's a bra salesman. That's all you have to know. And you got to improv with Larry. So I went in. And I just written this one logline in my script, Venus conspiracy, I just written it down before I called Bob, all human suffering is caused by Victoria's Secret. So I go in as a Victoria's Secret salesperson, and sure enough, that's where they were going to film it. And I thought, That's really interesting. And I read with Larry and I got the part. I think the improv we did was he goes, I need to buy a bra. It was at Lucasfilm, it was just an office. We were reading it. And I said, for your wife. He goes, No, my maid. Not Oh, you're made. I made up something like does she need a French mate? You mean a French maid outfit? And he goes, No, no. I said, Do you know her size? Is she a cantaloupe or a watermelon? He laughed so hard at that he hired me on that line. And then we never ended up using that in the actual show. But it was filmed at Victoria's Secret store. And I went that's a really interesting coincidence, my Victoria's Secret joke and that and then in that episode, the only other actress played The mermaid was named Lydia. I've never met another Lydia in the industry. So these little breadcrumbs along the path that matchup are very interesting. When you start to observe

Jeff Dwoskin 33:52

when you open up kind of your mind to like, be able to actually understand that they're there. It's interesting to kind of watch watch them all kind of fall in the place. Sorry to interrupt this fabulous conversation with Lydia Cornell, but we have to take a quick break and we're back with Lydia she's gonna share some stories about her mentor. Alright, so to close for comfort hot show. You're on the hot show. So you're still friends with right jam and Deborah, you so you guys, all the cast? What was I know everyone probably asked you what Ted night was like, Maybe I should ask you what Audrey Meadows was like, Oh, I

Lydia Cornell 34:29

love Audrey Meadows. She was my mentor.

Jeff Dwoskin 34:31

I started watching you know, you posted a clip of you doing the weather. Yeah. And so I started watching. I started watching some to close for comfort episodes just because I think had been a while since I'd seen it and I heard you talking I was on Pluto. I found it on Pluto, right? Yeah. So I randomly I'm like, I'm just gonna randomly pick one from different seasons just randomly pick that episode, which is the one where Audrey Maddow is kind of pivots to become a permanent cast member, right? It was just funny to see that whole All the whole episode, but oh my god. I mean, it's just it's amazing to watch you know, sometimes you watch shows where people who were famous for something else or in something else, something new and it never feels right. Like when you're watching this show, it's like writing was great. I mean it was like everything, everything felt real comfortable like you wouldn't you know I mean if like these two people were just emerging from too close for comfort not even knowing that they both had all these crazy this crazy background of of sitcom genius. They were it was like working with these legends.

Lydia Cornell 35:33

Oh my God, it was cool. Audrey Meadows came on the set and talked about Jackie Gleason a lot and said on the honeymooners, Jackie would let us rehearse at all. He wanted to tape everything immediately. And it was hard for them because they were doing a live show, I guess, and art Carney. She had lots of Jackie Gleason stories about how much fun he was and how outrageous he was. And she was adored him. And Audrey gotten a lot of trouble with Arnie Sultan, our producer because she was smoking. Ted didn't want her smoking on the set, and she was smoking in her dressing room. So we also sneak into a dressing room to gossip a lot because Audrey was my protector that I was being harassed a lot by everybody was on my case a lot for being the youngest member of the Russia family and I got a lot of trouble for weird things like I looked, I couldn't get I couldn't look Ted in the eyes and beginning and like he would stand on his toes to get I was on my toes to get in his eyeline. And then I looked above his forehead at times because he would make me laugh too hard. If I looked in his eyes, and the director would yell from the booth. What's she doing? There's a lot of like, I had to learn everything on the set. I had never had professional experience before. And Audrey was always helping me through everything. She took me to the dressing room. So she used to bring these giant cucumbers from her garden in Beverly Hills. And she cut the cucumber in half and uses an ashtray to quickly put the cigarettes out. So the smoke would go away. We have the secret. And she put the cucumber back together so that cigarettes can be hidden. I remember that. I remember her love of life. And she was married to Bob six. He was head of the Secret Service or the NSA at the time. And they traveled the world. They went to visit Reagan and they had dinner with Kissinger and they were constantly with heads of state around the world. She this exotic life. She was in Shanghai. She was in Portugal. She was in France with the king of the President and the king of Switzerland. And it was like a really cool lifestyle. So I looked up to her. She was a very glamorous exotic woman. She's the one that convinced me to go to Beirut, Lebanon for my first USO tour to a warzone on Christmas Eve in 82. And that was quite an experience flying into a warzone. And Bob Hope didn't even want to go. And we did and I was picked up at the Beirut airport in a blackout and the jeeps the Marines took us through minefields. I never knew this until the day later they go We just drove through minefields. Anyway, Audrey was my true mentor on the show when everybody was against me and I went through a really hard time on the show in the beginning but anyway, that's a longer story.

Jeff Dwoskin 37:59

We'll do a part two Yeah. I'm sorry. I mean the book I have unify Yeah, okay. We weren't we were what if it took too long a story well, we'll save when you have the book. I'll be back the talk to me about Jim Bullock and why and why the credit is J M. Oh, because

Lydia Cornell 38:17

there was another Jimbo like in the industry sag doesn't let you have the same name. God. Yeah, Jim J or J MJ MJ? Yeah. I call him Jimmy. But we were best friends. And he he was really fat, apparently when he auditioned and then he lost a ton of weight. But when he did well, here's what happened to producers took me to lunch at the Brown Derby when after I got the rule. And they went Do you have any crazy friends? And I went, Yeah, my best friend Monroe. And I showed them a picture of Monroe. Because I had one in my I didn't have a phone at the time, but I carried around a picture of strips of those pictures from a photo booth. And he looks identical to Jim Bullock. And he was real. We did We did faces we were really goofy actors. And they named Jim Bullock's character Monroe after my best friend and my best friend I could never reach him again. I never spoke to him again. And I found that he died in 2010. And I I tried to reach him for years when Earl Mendelsohn research is father wouldn't answer. They would never tell me where he was. Apparently, he died a lot sooner a lot earlier than that. But I have I've wept over this. I've read all the old letters we used to write to each other. Anyway. Um, so I fell in love with Jim Bullock on the set, by the way, and nobody I didn't know he was gay. And I was in love with him. And we went on a Jenny Jones Show and we talked about this and she goes, You're sure we're barking up the wrong tree. But I said you hit it pretty well, but nobody else thought he was straight. And he's very proudly gay. But I was in love with him. I used to go to work. My heart pitter pattering over Jim Bullock. And because he made me laugh laughter was the key to my heart back then,

Jeff Dwoskin 39:51

well, talking about coincidences for a second. He was named after your gay friend Monroe. And in the first episode that he's in he literally goes in and out of a closet.

Lydia Cornell 40:03

That is really good. Oh my god, I never thought about that. Thanks, Jeff. Glad you write that down. That is so funny.

Jeff Dwoskin 40:15

And then you connect it with Deborah. Obviously your sister on the show.

Lydia Cornell 40:20

She was my real sister. She worked with my dad. I mean really come on. That's an

Jeff Dwoskin 40:24

amazing coincidence. And it's it's cool that you guys stayed connected for as so after that, as you've mentioned sober couple times earlier. So after after too close for comfort went off the air. That's a crazy story cancelled picked up syndication, and then all that kind of stuff. And then renaming is this when you started drinking more heavily. And then yeah, just kind of the end of this too close for comfort moment in time.

Lydia Cornell 40:49

Yeah, it's a progressive illness. It's not to be honest, I don't understand it so much. I think it's the American Medical Association calls it a genetic proclivity or a disease. And it's not just something you choose, it's an allergy to alcohol, but you actually a bodily allergy and obsession of the mind combined with an obsession of the mind. So and there's only one solution that I know of, and it's not more drugs or alcohol. It's, it's a change of thought a mind shift of spiritual awakening is the and I have friends who are 30 years sober. I have lifelong friends in AAA, and it really, I don't think you're allowed to say, but 12 Step programs. It's just miraculous. It was miraculous. For me, my very first meeting, I surrendered, I raised my hand and admitted it, and a river of 20 years of hell and a river of tears just came off me. And I felt lighter than air. And I had my first major God shock coincidence that was so bizarre and so uncanny, it was a full blown mind boggling miracle. And I use the word miracle not as a religious thing. But as the actual natural law. If we were only living in that realm of thought, rather than living against nature, we would find these things happening all the time. And then I started to really grow up. And they say that when you get sober, you actually start your life at the age you, you were when you were like, let's say I was 15 years old in my head, or I was very young and stilted in your growth because you haven't really grown up much, you know, you haven't dealt with reality on reality's terms, because you've been numbing yourself for so long, escaping. But anyway, I'm so grateful to have found this. It's not the only way end to peace of mind, but it's one of the great ways in for people who have suffered and had trauma in their life. How long have you been sober for 28 years, and I have never craved a drink since that first meeting. It's like, what? I went into this Beverly Hills church. I don't even know how I got there to this day. To this day. I don't remember if I walked or took a cab because I wasn't driving. I just had a baby. My child was six months old, my precious son, and he's never had it. He doesn't drink at all now. He's 28 years old. No, he'll be Yeah, it'd be 29 and three weeks, and I had had a series of just a terrible weekend of driving drunk with the baby in the car and unable to get drunk. I mean, just going to different Labor Day barbecues. This isn't a story and now I'm tell normies the story normies are people in the real world that just don't quite get the program but you go in we talk about these things we tell devastating stories in this program in meetings that are so gut wrenching and yet hilarious. It is the greatest show in town to hear stories of true death to life resurrections. I mean, complete destitution, and you see people walking around like they're thrilled to be alive, restored to sanity. Some it's a complete miracle. But anyway, I hit my bottom, I guess. And I didn't know this thing would work. And I when I when I just admitted it. That alone felt like my whole life changed by admitting it. And that's when a woman came up to me. She told me my identical story, identical in such detail. I went, am I on a hidden camera show? Is this a joke? Because I felt my spine tingling. I wet my hair on my neck stood up I went Your mother gave away your Barbies to and the same exact story and she was able to forgive. And no, I've never heard that story. Since I've never heard my story since the way that woman told me that day. It was like a neon sign. And then I had hundreds of these coincidences all in a row that first year. And it was just such a delightful way to live your life is to keep looking for the beauty in life. So there is a force bigger than ourselves. I think it's within us. So it's not really some old anthropomorphic old man in the sky. And that the morphic version of it with a long white beard and anthropomorphic version of God in the sky. It's it's really inside us. It's a power greater than us because it's connected. We're all consciousness. And I've gotten you know, Buddhism works, a lot of things work, meditation works, but when you're really at your wit's end, sometimes you need a power greater than yourself and the group some people call it the group. My best friend in the program was a cop for a while. I was 39 years sober, and he busted a coke dealer 37 years earlier in the back streets of LA Kokila went to prison, and it became the cop sponsor, and the COP is still an atheist. The day he died. He died have natural causes couple of years ago, and the cop said, I don't believe in God. But I don't know if this is the only disease that can be cured with storytelling. I'm Oh, well, that is the so called God element. It's sharing your experience, strength and hope, sharing your love helping others God in the flesh. It's just us sharing and helping each other. And the coke dealer that his best friends are a nun, a priest and a coke dealer all in the 12 step program. And all of them found a tangible, actual real God in this work in this helpful. We're very cool.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:30

That is so cool. Amazing. Yeah. And then do you speak on this? You talk about this? And

Lydia Cornell 45:35

yeah, whenever I'm asked, it's interesting. I was asking the universe a couple weeks ago, what's my purpose in life because the book is a struggle right? Now, some parts of it are like, Oh, I don't want to cut the funny out here. It's hard to know what to cut and what to keep and the rewrite of my book, and I went, What's my purpose in life? At that moment? I got a phone call. Can you lead a meeting tomorrow for young women in in England on Zoom? That's my purpose happened twice. What's my purpose? Oh, I get a call to lead a meeting, or to speak at a meeting or to help a young newcomer and there's a lot of people experiencing suicidal tendencies and fentanyl use. I mean, there's it's killing our young people. And this is the one thing they need. So I created a spiritual therapy comedy website. And I have some ideas. The Venus conspiracy movie, the short film, we did have a lot of these ideas in it done through humor, metaphysical comedy,

Jeff Dwoskin 46:25

I think humor helps people remember. And when they read something, it's it's either so dramatic and tragic, or it has to be funny. Oh, wow. But I think that helps people retain something. Wow. Well,

Lydia Cornell 46:37

that's really interesting. humor helps, Jeff, I need to write some of your thoughts down humor helps us retain things.

Jeff Dwoskin 46:44

I think so I don't know how brilliant I just said it. But I can I can look it

Lydia Cornell 46:48

up. I love that. That's really good. Well, I mean, I quote you,

Jeff Dwoskin 46:53

course. So I know. You gotta go because you got to do your next thing. Thank you. Your life is full of amazingness. And so thanks for spending this time with me and sharing,

Lydia Cornell 47:04

reminding me of the good you know, I went through a few days of struggle the past few days, and then I remembered everything good this morning. I'm so grateful to meet you. It's been really a gunshot. It's been a really fun show. And you have a lot of wisdom. And I can't wait to hear you. Watch your stand up comedy. When are you performing next?

Jeff Dwoskin 47:21

I'm not sure what I'm next. I have some clips on YouTube if you want.

Lydia Cornell 47:25

Okay, cool. Let me ask you something. One day I want to interview you about stand up. How did like how did you get up the first time on stage? Were you scared? When did you start? Ah,

Jeff Dwoskin 47:36

so it's a great question. Do you want to interview me later? I know you gotta go. You gotta get a thing.

Lydia Cornell 47:41

Well keep it keep the audience in suspense. I can interview you.

Jeff Dwoskin 47:47

Because I know you got you got something at 530 because I stalk you on?

Lydia Cornell 47:50

Yes, I do at 230. Right. I have to put the Zoom link out to GRACE FRAGA the guests were having on overcame cancer through her. She's a comedian. And she said I just decided that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me. And she had chemo radiation the past two years and her attitude was so different than anyone I've ever met who had cancer. She really believes it was her attitude that got her. Yeah, and she's so grateful to be alive. She's grateful to have had the cancer because it made her more in love with life. So I can't wait to interview her.

Jeff Dwoskin 48:18

Well, I hope that is an amazing interview. Thank you, Lydia, thank you so much for hanging out with me.

Lydia Cornell 48:24

Thank you too. Great meeting you. Lots of love.

Jeff Dwoskin 48:27

Lots of love,

Lydia Cornell 48:29

love and blessings.

Jeff Dwoskin 48:30

All right, how amazing was Lydia corn now I had such a great time talking with Lydia talking about God shots are career so much fun. So much fun. Definitely check out our podcast. It's amazing. Go to the show notes. There's tons of links for Lydia in the show notes her YouTube channel, everything's there. So definitely make that a priority. Wow. With the interview over that can only mean one thing I know, Episode 224 has come to an end. I can't believe it either. I want to thank again, my special guests, Lydia Cornell. And of course, I want to thank all of you for coming back week after week. It means the world to me, and I'll see you next time.

CTS Announcer 49:12

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai