#77 John Heffron Is The Last Comic Standing

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Looking to sound like you know what's going on in the world, pop culture, social strategy, comedy and other funny stuff. Well join the club and settle in for the Jeff Dwoskin show. It's not the podcast we deserve. But the podcast we all need with your host, Jeff Dwoskin.

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Alright Roger, thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You get the show going each and every week and this week was no exception. Welcome, everybody, to Episode 77 of live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show. As always, I am your host, Jeff Dwoskin. Great to have you back for another spectacular week of podcast goodness this week. I am so excited. My guest is john Heffron. That's right john Heffron winner of last Comic Standing season 2 and one of the most hilarious comedians ever. We both went to Eastern Michigan University. I didn't know him. But that is where I saw him for the first time while in college. We talk a lot about that. So I'm so excited to have gotten the chance to finally meet and talk with john about his career and all that good stuff. And I'm so excited to share that conversation with you. And that's coming up in just a few minutes.

I don't usually dedicate an episode to anyone specifically, but this week with all the talk of Eastern Michigan University with john Heffron, I do want to dedicate this episode to my dear friend Aaron Rubin, who recently lost his battle with cancer, who I met at Eastern Michigan University. We were friends for decades. I know he would have loved this conversation, as it also includes our good friend Jeff Katz. Life is short everybody so definitely hug and kiss the ones you love. Tomorrow's never guaranteed enjoy today. I miss you, Aaron and this one is for you.

All right. Ah did not know if I'd be able to get through that. But here we are. I do want to thank all of you for coming back week after week. It means the world to me. It really does. I appreciate all your subscriptions and likes and follows and all the podcast apps which podcast app Jeff, whichever one you love the most goodpods, podchaser, Apple, Google, podcast Republic, whatever it might be. Thank you very much. tell all your friends about the podcast that's how we grow you can also head over to jeffisfunny.com home of live from Detroit the Jeff Dwoskin show on the worldwide web there you can buy me a coffee you can sign up for my mailing list. You can listen to every episode of the podcast so much you can do also. This is exciting.

So our live show that we do every Wednesday 9:30pm eastern time called crossing the streams you can watch this live on youtube or twitter @bigmacher big MACHER or on Facebook facebook.com/jeffisfunny we go live every Wednesday 9:30pm eastern time there's 45 episodes on YouTube you can check out right now amazing TV watching suggestions but here's the cool thing we're now live on fireside simultaneously so if you have the fireside app go to firesidechat.com/jeffdwoskin there you can catch the last couple episodes we streamed via fireside download the fireside app with Jeff Why should we listen via fireside well here's the exciting thing on fireside I can bring you up from the audience and we can actually talk during the show on YouTube you can comment and we can put the comment on screen which is super fun Don't get me wrong but I'm fireside you can actually join the conversation. So check that out. firesidechat.com/jeffdwoskin, jeffisfunny.com you got a lot a lot to do this week. So I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna get on with the show.

And now it's time for the social media to Alright, this is the part of the show where I share a little bit of my social media knowledge with you little 411 I picked up on the street so we can all elevate our social game together. Who are you Jeff? Oh, I don't I just I used to run social for a billion dollar company. I've had my own social company for many, many, many years. And I love giving back. One way we get back is through hashtag round up, you know, hashtag round up. We're gonna read tweets from one of the hashtag games we do every day at the end of the show. So hang on for that. The social media tip this week. Hey, Jeff, wasn't fireside chat comm kind of a social media tip? Yes, it was, I guess you get a twofer. And this is a twofer for me because this allows me to give you a little bit of a social media tip if you're an event, but also talk about an event I was just at. I mentioned in the previous episodes, I was at the Motor City Comic Con. That was so cool. I got to run two panels and judge the cosplay contest. I was super fun. I ran a panel with Patrick Renna "ham" from The Sandlot. And David Yost, your original True Blue Power Ranger. So That was super fun. love doing that. And I'm sure I'll be back at the next one. But here's the social media tip for you something in the Motor City Comic Con did extremely well, they had a hashtag called #MC, and then the number 3, #MC3. And what they did is asked everyone who was there taking pictures to use that hashtag across the different platforms, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. So in essence, they were able using this hashtag for their event to collect massive amounts of photos that people took at their event. It's an excellent use of a hashtag for any kind of event, Comic Con, Bar Mitzvah wedding, whatever it might be. I got to work in my time at the Motor City Comic Con and give you a cool social media tip. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed sharing it. And that's the social media tip!

I do want to thank all of you for supporting the sponsors week after week. It means the world to me when you support the sponsors. You're supporting us here at live from Detroit the Jeff Dwoskin show and that's how we keep the lights on this week's sponsor Ypsilanti Michigan's spaghetti bender that's right no better place to gather with good friends for some good times. If you're looking for spaghetti then you need to head over today. Yeah, we got pasta we got pizza the best Italian food you're gonna find in Ypsilanti Michigan friendly people crazy atmosphere at cheap prices price is so cheap you won't even believe it's spaghetti but according to our lawyers, it's still legally spaghetti. People come from all over the world for spaghetti at the spaghetti bender we got spaghetti with meat sauce spaghetti with meatballs spaghetti with Italian sausage spaghetti with marinara and spaghetti with garlic butter. Do you want spaghetti? We got spaghetti and we're gonna throw in some homemade minestrone soup and our very own legendary house salad. So if you're hungry for spaghetti head over to the spaghetti bender today in Ypsilanti Michigan use code jeffisfunny for 44% off they're already ridiculously low prices.

All right, I highly recommend spaghetti from the spaghetti bender quite delish. I'm kind of hungry now. Then we're gonna go grab something to eat. So I think that's the perfect time for me to share my conversation I had with comedian and Detroit legend john Heffron with you enjoy. Alright everyone, I'm excited to introduce you to my next guest, comedian, author, Detroit legend. John Heffron.

JOHN, welcome to the show.

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Thank you so much. I don't know what the protocol is. If you're allowed to when you're doing somebody else's podcast, are you allowed to bring in your own music? Like I was thinking about that, like I'm a guest on your podcast, but if you were to say to me, comedian john Heffron, and then I just kind of piped in with my own background music and also my own cheering I think that's a little bit egotistical. It's almost like you know, I walk into somebody's house and I said that I don't know how to resolve them and I said you know the temperature so i don't i don't know what podcasting etiquette is.

8:09

I think if you bring your own Intro Music there could be a moment of awkwardness.

8:13

I was, I was doing that when COVID first happened the first round COVID point one when COVID you know, upgrade point two right now, and I was doing a bunch of zoom stuff new to it, you know, still don't love it. But I found a way I found all these like one person giggling or kind of laughing a little. And I found to some male voices, some female voices, not big crowds, laughing like one or two person. And my little thing that I play sound bites in music for my podcast, I would as I was talking, I would just hit a little bit of laughter. Like somebody was just like giggling and the whole time I was just doing these dumb zooms. I was just sweetening. Oh, sweet in the audience.

9:00

I think if you're doing a zoom and you want to Sweden to keep yourself going, I think that's fair.

9:04

Yeah, that should have been and I don't even know if it was that should have been a bit like if I could have hired somebody that had all those laughter in those soundtracks and then log them on into one of the zooms and they just listened and they were just kind of firing off the random noises. That would have been a thing. I would have had that person go be on every zoom with me that they could, you know, because a lot of times, I would do those zooms and I would just stare at 20 red microphones with slashes through there was literally no response. I knew would tell people Hey, can you open your mics or have some type and maybe two people would and then you hear their kids whipping by him or screaming or something. I'm like, seems like this could be all faked just to make it enjoyable as the performer.

9:50

I think it's a good idea though. For a good side hustle. I don't want to wish the pandemic to kick up so I could start that side hustle with you

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one of the zooms for some company. Did that they actually had a row. So every time you do, there's a billion different services you use to do live stuff. And this one had a row of 20 people in there were little squares below you, those people had their video on so everybody could see those 20. And it was a lot of people disinterested, like just staring, you can tell they're reading stuff online, you can tell they were eating. So then I thought, without all the out of work actors in the world, that seems like that would have been a thing where you could have filled it with 10 people that smile and kind of laugh just the whole show. You pay him 15 bucks for that half hour that they had to sit there that seems like that could be a thing.

10:42

That is a great idea. I was talking to Craig Shoemaker, and he had like a studio in his in his house or wherever he was filling. And he'd bring in 10 people during the COVID stuff. So they'd have extra people reacting in the room with him while he was doing the zoom calls

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would that be as in this had nothing to do with Craig, I'm just saying, you know how you get invited to like a kid's graduation, or a five year olds birthday party or a wedding? How just what an inconvenience and how much you don't want to do whatever it is. Just imagine if you were friends with a comedian, and they said, Can you come to my house and sit in my little office? Why I do material on a zoom call? No way. There's no way I'd make that I would definitely be texting halfway there going at there's a big boulder fell in front of the car and a couple people are dead. So I don't think I could make it.

11:34

Any thought of it. From that point of view. I was thinking of it as from the point of view that it was helping him but you're right. I didn't think the people he was inviting. Absolutely.

11:42

Yeah. And then you'd have to after the show, tell the cuz we're all the same. You'd have to tell comedian Hey, that was a really good, that was really good. Because then you're gonna want feedback. So then you got to do Hey, that was good. Yeah, that that one joke I've never heard of before I can think of a worse scenario. Although I did one. I had a video. And now I'm trying to think of where it was where Cisco had this video wall. And you could basically you would stand in front of it. It was zoom. It's everything we're doing now. But this was like 15 years ago, or maybe even 10. So you went to a conference room and the whole wall was video and I had to perform. The people who were in was like DC, New York and Los Angeles. So I was in a room with 20 people. And each of those cities I just said had 20 people in that room. And they were trying to show this video conferencing that was so crazy. And you could be just like you were in in the meeting with them. So I was doing zoom calls, actually 1015 years ago is doing comedy. So you're

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way ahead of the curve. This pandemic then should have been a cakewalk for you.

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Yeah, I should have dust the you know, it was kind of a cool setup. Not now that I think about it. Like I don't know if anyone used that system. But you had that in your house. So it would be pretty Yeah, we're close to it. I mean, we're actually doing it now you're just not as big as you know, my wall

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a much smaller. So, john, I have been a big fan of yours for a long time. You're probably one of the very first comedians I ever saw. I saw you ads if you're ready for this. We both went to Eastern Michigan. Nice. I saw you at the spaghetti vendor.

13:17

Oh man. Holy mackerel. That had to ban 25 years ago at the minimum when I was in college.

13:23

What year did you graduate? 92 ish, I

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believe 92

13:26

Okay, so 93 Yeah, so Me too. Me too. So, yeah, so probably 8990 somewhat sound Yeah,

13:33

yes, that's hilarious. I did that. I did it show at the spaghetti bender. Well, I wonder how that went? Probably horrible. I couldn't even imagine getting it. Well, maybe I did. Because at the time I was probably 20 myself. Just doing comedy was a full bar full of people my own age. I was probably excited about it.

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You're in here's a funny story. Okay. So fast forward to the year. What year was the first last Comic Standing? 2004. I get a call from my friend Jeff Katz. And he says Jeff we watching this comic standings. JOHN Heffron, he was a huge fan of yours in college. Oh, look at that spaghetti bender. show he heckled you? And he's like, do you remember I heckled john Heffron? And I'm like, I mean I remembered what I you know what I mean? It was like funny it's funny because I didn't start doing stand up comedy too many many years later, but like for some reason, certain things imprints in your head and the moment of watching you and him kind of calling you out for why aren't you doing new material? This is what he

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saw. Okay, new material. So it's time Okay, good. I've opinions.

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Well, at the time. I was like, yeah, that's weird. But from his point of view, now, that kind of looking back he was like a huge fan. He just wanted to hear new material he didn't understand later when I did comedy and that moment always stuck with me. I always remember that interaction, right? And But later I remembered Well, of course he do the same thing over and over again. I didn't really I didn't recognize that until I started doing it. Right? Right so it was some joke he remembered even the joke that he cuts you off on or something like, excuse me for damaging. It was something to his recollection because I asked him if I could talk about it was something like cut myself shaving I didn't Nick it. It's a cut Nick is the guy that lives down the street.

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That was Nick Nick. Oh, that's the old school. Some of our getting a haircut and oh, I haven't thought about this which means I'm gonna start doing this on stage again. means it's a new bit and then your buddy's gonna be mad that I'm still doing the Nick bit but there's some about like, like a barber nicking you and said I cut you or nicked you and like That's it? Yeah, or something like that. Here's what's why that story is funny. So if the math works out he saw me do that this wasn't like I was on TV. It wasn't like he watched it on a special there wasn't even calm like if you go that far back there wasn't even comedy anything. It was such a weird like that's why me performing at this spaghetti bender that almost makes me so nervous now because it wasn't like you know you're watching Netflix and you were familiar with how comedy works. It wasn't like Comedy Central was even a thing maybe during our era that was like MTV half hour Comedy Hour maybe but it wasn't popular like nobody like watched it. So that dude must have saw me MC the at the time would have been the mainstream comedy showcase is now the Andover comedy showcase. So he must have saw me MC there and then three weeks later I do I probably only had 11 minutes of material anyway, he saw me do the same bit that I did. And then our brothers like come on, man. There's six of us that have seen that bit time the time to start writing. Yeah, that's funny. I wonder even man how I even handle heckler I couldn't even imagine I probably peed a little you know probably at the spaghetti bender though people were walking around. It was it was you him and me. Were probably the only people that knew that there was a comedy show going on. Right? Like, I just don't see like people sitting paying attention. And just watching your show.

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At the moment. I was watching it. I enjoyed it. I had a different perspective at years later after doing comedy and having been to places like club Bart's or you know, just the one night or anyway so do you want to say anything to him now? His Tosh point oh,

17:23

let's see. Yeah, so I'm assuming you know, he was you know, so hungry for new material. I'm assuming he's purchased all my albums and anything I've ever done prafulla prafulla but I am excited that he remembered that because I do not remember that bit. I found an old tape of me probably in 92 somebody brought their huge VHS tape recorder and I taped the whole like in maybe an hour show maybe I was headlining in Ann Arbor and I got so excited to watch it because in my brain I'm like this material sold that it's going to be new. I just found a new hour of material. nobody's seen it. And it was just all so um, my roommates I'm 22 boy I'm getting older I'm almost 25 like talking like that, you know?

18:09

I mean, that's so boring.

18:11

Apologize that he went there just spaghetti bender risk getting his car or his life jacked up in that area. And then I apologize that he probably went to deja vu just on the street afterwards. And I apologize for whatever horrible stripper give him a lap dance. So I apologize for whatever that night You know, he probably made went to the wooden nickel laughter probably did Jaeger shots. So I apologize for how that night ended for

18:39

Oh my God, I totally forgot deja vu.

18:42

Right? Like it was I don't even

18:46

remember their tagline was something like 30 beautiful women and one ugly one.

18:51

Yeah, or bullet? Yeah, I'm sure like, strip clubs. I'm sure they exist now. It's so out of my realm. But you know, the ugly one. I see somebody trying to cancel that phrase at a strip club. Like that's the thing you know, that somebody probably complained about. Like you're being you're making fun of the one ugly stripper. Right? It's probably the problem not the human trafficking part of the whole strip club industry. But that was probably somebody was mad that they were making fun of the stripper which is all proportional, or objective.

19:24

So I have the book. Yeah, yeah. So how did you how did you get into stand up comedy? What was what drove you to kind of get on stage?

19:32

I was just a fan first in a you know, who knows? When I was a young young team. I would watch it on The Tonight Show. And I was always excited when there was a stand up on and then that was kind of that era where I don't know the math correctly. But maybe Eddie Murphy's album came out somewhere on there, and then everybody knew it or memorized it. And then I had old Carlin stuff. I was just a fan stand up was just and then when I turned 18 The club will keep talking about in Ann Arbor, you could be a teen to get in, and I just kind of kept waiting and to get excited that I can actually go into this bar or this entertainment thing. So I would go whatever night was 18 and over maybe a Tuesday night or something and they had and that was open mic night. And at the time I had a speech class why signed up for what it said forensic and I legit never even done a joke about this. I thought it was blood splatter bullet wounds. I thought it was police forensics like forensic science competitive speeches the same exact name I don't understand why there could have been two I don't understand why they they have to share it once public speaking one's blood I like it doesn't even make sense. And I didn't read this back when you couldn't I'm gonna age myself but right you couldn't you went to school at the same time. I don't think you even signed up online. I think you had to go and physically stand in line for the class you wanted. And you got car you got caught? Yeah, like some type of point it was I know, we just aged yourself. And we sound like we're 100 years old. But there wasn't or maybe a phone number. Like I remember at Eastern you could call it was like some phone line because I had a roommate whose girlfriend broke up with them, and then call that phone number and dropped him from all

21:22

of his classes. Each class probably had like a number. Yeah.

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And it wasn't like they were passed codes, or there were some super system where you had to prove it was you. So you just saw she dropped him. So I remember was some type of thing like that. And maybe I just did read the So anyway, and Eastern had like a really cool speech programming and communications department and remember failing the class. And he said, Well, if you I'm sorry, you know what this story, actually it goes back to origins is right before Easter at OCC, so completely different. But same story. And I never showed up. And they said well, if you go to this the competition on Saturday, we won't fail you because it was like pass fail class. And they said if you do one speech at this thing, somebody dropped out or they didn't have enough people you'll pass. And it was a humorous speech. And I did it. And then they said it was really funny, but there was no structure in the speech. So then I started going to Ann Arbor and start seeing open mic there. And just like everyone else a lot. I mean, I just saw some horrible acts. And I was like, man, I think I can you know, I don't even I think I can do this. And then we would sit and I've told this story a million times where we'd sit in this one girl section, just so we could stare at her she was a waitress at the club and then she came to us and said, Hey, do you want to sign up for open mics? And I said yeah, just because that you know me saying Yeah, to her meant I was talking to her for two seconds and that waitress was Lucy Lu the actress that was her so she signed me up for open mic and then the next Tuesday, I start going every Tuesday after that at 1819. And then I was hooked. Then I was then that became my even at Eastern kinda like I've friends at Eastern, but I didn't really go out I was always performing like so my weekends were going in Arbor there are a couple other clubs that no longer exist that were all within two hour driving. So every Thursday through Saturday, I was emceeing you know did that all through college?

23:19

I'd heard Lucy Lou worked at was the ticket person and Beatrice Yeah, yep. It's so cool. So So Lucy lewd asks you to do Oh, my you do open mic. And then that changes the trajectory of your life. Yeah, cuz

23:33

the first one, I get on stage, and I just did my speech. And it was like, don't be it. It was funny. Like it was all mom Stuff Mom material, because I was 18 I didn't have a big perspective. And then I remember the manager of the club at the time said, hey, you're really funny, but you shouldn't talk about the same subject your whole time up there, which is horrible advice. And I was on stage for looking back probably three minutes. So really, I mean, I need to throw in five topics in three minutes. Right so the next week that came back with all dad material, and then then I started building the set, you know, then it was like all brother, little brother and sister material then bam, I have this 10 minute family set and then it just kind of started stacking it on from there.

24:15

How long was it before you started either featuring or then kind of where you could do 45 minutes as a headliner.

24:22

I went I don't remember but it felt like it happened pretty quick because I was working so much as an emcee. Oh it was also 20 so I was pretty not even obsessed I just really saw because keep in mind now the level of comics that are out there are there's a lot of really good ones people have some kind of perspective but when I was selling it was all these 80s kind of road road comics like there were good ones in there went on to be super famous but there were a lot of just these like road hacky type guys a lot. Boy I drove myself in the shower and I remember some of their bits like and I had had the keep kicking it it was just really anti get like this it was just bad I remember just being 20 something going just sucks like they're not even like so my stuff got pretty tight pretty fast where even as an emcee if you were featuring I would make my goal to make it really hard for you to follow me that's awesome but just by but not not egotistical but just go nobody's doing their job like even now now after 30 years of doing stand up nama little crotchety old guy but I look at a lot of hosts I work with you know never sit him going Can you host bad you're not you'd like nobody tell you how to host it's a thing not just you know there's bad hosts that do really bad things and then you know they have their one masturbation or pot should be legal joke and then they get to it but the rest of the show is kind of kind of sucks but so I was really good hosts like I would make that I knew how to separate my jobs there to welcome people do announcements and then scattering one or two bits and make sure I get the intros right like that I knew so that happened quick and because I was clean now knowing this that you don't have to again 30 year headliners would say hey whoever that guy is that kid still around cuz I didn't step on anyone's toes. I wasn't doing material that anyone else was doing and I was clean so I think I worked more than you know most

26:21

black people try so hard to move past the MC spot and Mark Ridley's comedy castle which I know you're yeah Mark was always very kind to me when I started out he gave me tons and tons of opportunity it's hard because you're walking out into that cold audience and it's really yeah toughens you up so that when it does get easier the meaning like you know you're featuring which is kind of like considered like the the easier spot not easier but you know what I mean like the the has been warmed up, you walk out you do your thing. And then I had a friend who moved through kind of almost jumped to featuring and so when it got tough, he always found it difficult. That's really I think what I'm seeing is about is handling the harder situation so that when you have to handle him later you can handle it more with finesse because you kind of took all the hits when you're just an MC last

27:05

I mean it never if Tarkin you know how the sausage is made in comedy it never goes away so so people who don't know how to host or walk up cold to an audience that ends up I do so many corporate events where you just you're walking up as cold as possible. Listen the zeros I'm getting paid if have changed but it's the same it's the same exact thing I've been in front of 3000 people in Convention Center where they paid me a lot of money and the guy the sound guy in the back of the room does the quote unquote voice of God where they go they used to jump but all they hear is where you get to jogger and then nobody's even clapping or one or two people start clap or and then you walk up to a completely dead crowd that are still they're all standing this you know sitting around at dinner nobody's even looking up at Yeah, I never goes away Do you never reach a level where you're like well luckily I won't ever have to deal with that again happens all the time.

28:05

You know migraine? He'd have like these corporate meetings yeah you made some good money he's just come do 10 minutes Jeff do but the only thing I care about get my name right. Make it a good introduction when I get up there. Yeah, it's important because if people don't know what they're about to see, especially with comedy, it's it's like one of those things

28:22

Yes. So So now though now in 2021 with comedy it's a little different like people aren't starting through that club system anymore. Now it's a kind of archaic that there's you have a good podcast or man I know people selling out shows or you know bouncing around a lot of clubs that had three Tick Tock videos that was it in their filling rooms and suddenly their headliners they have zero skill there's not even right they're only performing in front of their psycho fans that happen to give a three minute Tick Tock so there's a lot of people that just skip that and will you know won't know but you know this is where I sound like the old guy where I go back to my day but you know walking up in front I had this debate and I'll leave people's names out of it but somebody was like ah that person I'm like is there like an okay comic but the only perform in front of their bubble of people that are fans of theirs if I was to take that person and put them in front of 100 random people what they do as well there is a whole different skill set to walk in front of 100 strangers than it is the people who are listened to you every week and really kind of know you you could get away you're skipping all the get to know me part because they already know you so they'll they'll laugh and whatever. So it's a weird skill that in back kinda you know, if you go 90s to comedy clubs in anywhere, people would just buy tickets and not know who the comic was a Thursday night. You just buy tickets and you didn't know who you're getting. And you would, it would be a crapshoot where now you know, people don't go into a place unless They know exactly who the headliner is or at least went online and looked them up or stuff like that.

30:07

I agree with you with the the burst of fame the club owners have been doing that for a while with like bringing the stormy Daniels or yeah you know like we're actors that are just trying

30:18

to remember when I when I was starting it was a and not say anything bad about the people but so they were like soap stars were the ones were the Instagram II type people at you know at the top right and I remember opening for a couple of them and it was just women just showing up just to see him and it was just like a hour long q&a it wasn't even there wasn't even anything but there are a lot of soap dudes that were doing that

30:45

mark Ridley when I first started comedy I would bring people you know like I am doing my open mic because my open mics on Wednesdays was my show right so when I first started out and there's a big difference like we're doing comedy in your bubble as you say because in your bubble people know references you can you can mention things and they'll know what you're talking about even if you don't talk about them right. Mark Ridley pulled me aside one day he's like Jeff, I love that you're bringing people but you need to stop ringing people. He goes for you because you have to find out if you're funny in front of strangers Yeah, if you're funny in front of strangers then you're funny

31:21

yeah in there there are a couple of Detroit guys you know there's that I just remember being young that I would see crush in almost any scenario when I was younger I would look at the crowd and go oh this crowd looks older I'm probably I'm not because keep in mind I'm 20 something they're not going to get my mark now I look at the crowd and go oh no, they're younger. They're not going to get up but I would see that or if they look like bikers or I always have an excuse I would let the what the audience look like start intimidate me and that's something you learn later on. I remember I was working with some guy and he looked at the crowd he's like what do you what do you think this audience wants tonight? they get what they get they don't have a choice it was zero say and in what they want or get tonight tell them exactly what you want to tell them they sit there that's their job. But like guys in Detroit and I always wanted to do some type of compilation album there's a lot of Detroit guys that just we're at a weird time and I'm yeah social media wise or just where your act is wiser a lot of headliners that sat on 45 minutes their entire career because nobody right I got called out from your friend week to of doing comedy to do new material these guys went 20 years of being able to do the same 45 minutes because they were never on TV and they're bouncing out at all the big room comedy clubs where you know they didn't have fans I mean the club would just fill up and they would put it dude that would crush in like liotta for Do you ever do you ever see him you know who he is a lovely before but he's one of those guys if you ask any buddy in comedy like who because he stayed in in Canada and Detroit was kind of dude he has some bits won it and crushed no matter what if it was a biker crowd a white cop you know white collar whoever he was in front of Asian black white Latino any ethnic group any working whatever you know social class he would get on stage in this literally destroyed with material that I've you think of anyone's famous bits now you could go gaffigan as has hot pockets so and so's got you know you could think of somebody Leo had or has some I think are the funniest benchmark bits that to me dry like I'm like this should be a thing that like is quoted by everybody right so and I don't know if he I've never seen him at a Montreal Comedy Festival and he's Canadian. I don't know there's some guys that when I was starting, you know looking back like Why didn't you should have left you should uh, or it was just there you know? So you're just sometimes in that pocket of age where you're you're just too old to do this thing and not you've been around too much for anybody you think you're new to no one's gonna pay but his snowplow bit and his pot stuff you're doing pop material before legit any comic that you can think of that famous because it didn't pop material. Leo was doing it 100 years before everybody was

34:22

Leo's like he's not intimidating to anyone. He looks like he you know you'd hang out with Leo. Yeah. So that's probably why he connects with

34:30

almost everybody. Yeah, there's zero threat which is weird because I'm from an era where comedy was about being out of shape and being broke. Right now I think comedy is going through a very 80s metal phase or actually hairband phase where there's a lot of fluff and I just a lot of comics are like in shape and picture me on my jet and all this stuff. You'd like your comic you're supposed to have now the things just being angry at the world. So that's easy, but but again, that's when I started. It was Everybody like you know I worked with this kid who had a bit about having a three way and he was going off and he's like yeah I just I just can't get that bit to work or whatever I'm like dude because your bit is about the funny thing that happens in a three way nobody in that crowd is like yeah right i mean Tell us about it we always have three I hate it when that happens when you're so good looking to girls want to like literally your comic you should be talking about never getting laid should be that's where the joke is not a Don't you hate it when supermodels like both of them. What am I do literally talk about going across fit and kale shakes and having to and like yeah, things change. Like I missed the big overweight comics that were just horrible to their bodies. That's how we're supposed to be. I know it's kind of like country singers that sing about vacations in the Bahamas and jet skis. I just don't like it. I don't think it should be a thing like Kenny Chesney, I just he man I do bugs me some about I just hate barefoot in the sand type talk from country people, because I just you can't I want to hear that you can't afford a vacation. I want to hear that you've been working for 20 years straight and your cousin won't even let you borrow the cabin.

36:10

Like you love your truck. But you need a new one.

36:12

But if you love your truck, but it doesn't work so you're walking that's why you're hitchhiking because your life sucks. I don't want to hear about you know, all the pina coladas you're gonna drink you're when you get to the you know, Island. You're broke from Yeah, so,

36:28

so funny. Oh, a follow up question from earlier. Once you became famous. Did you ever talk to Lucy Lou?

36:34

No, she and I've told you I've said that story enough on radio and whatever that I've even seen people tweet at her and never not even a not even he or thumbs up nothing. So it's probably better though. All right.

36:49

Well, that's too bad.

36:50

I'll say the story from Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to remember if I had any interaction after I don't think so. I think that was it. And I don't think you know, I think she signed me up for open mic and then I never saw her or talk to her again. So she might even quit like the next week or something. Like I had no interaction I don't remember ever having like a conversation like how do you think this out? What are her coming out to me?

37:13

So had you not met Lucy Lou that particular night and she convinced you to do open mic? What do you think you'd be doing now?

37:20

All I knew is when I was going to Eastern I think I was going to be I was really into psychology and communication. So I think I was gonna gonna wanted to be a psychiatrist. Or then it started switching because I knew I was creative. And I advertising probably was the way I was gonna go or because I enjoyed speech classes and stuff. I also was gonna like, well, if I just never leave college, I could just teach speech at Eastern and then never have to figure anything out. So that's probably the ways that I would have went but it goes to the circle even now after doing comedy with COVID and you know, sitting here Mitch, I'm like, What am I gonna do with my life? What's gonna be the thing like what's what can I do that I never have to leave my house?

38:04

Well, you could become a full time author. I do want to talk about your books but I do want to ask about last Comic Standing in the path to last Comic Standing Well, you've done to Comedy Central presents was the first one just before or after winning the second season of last Comic Standing.

38:19

One was before I did a Tonight Show and a presents before last comic, and then last comic, and then did another present and a tonight show a bunch of just other stuff. I did an hour special. That was on Netflix. But when Netflix This is a timing thing, when Netflix was just becoming Netflix, you know, so you had it on there, but it wasn't what it was now. And then it got taken off Netflix because it's just an algorithm thing. And then whoever owns it, put it on amazon prime

38:51

of all these events, which is the one where you're like, Oh my god, everyone knows who I am now. I'm john Heffron.

38:57

I had a couple of those moments. I remember I was in Vegas right when last comic started or started airing and I remember just go you know and hadn't been on and I remember getting stopped like just throughout the casino three times like from wherever my wherever I was going walking from like three of the most random people like an older dude and then some young girl they all mentioned like a bit that I just did like some golf swing some old bit. They all mentioned kind of the same bit. I was like oh this is a Maya thing or my you know fan then just after that Yeah. Especially after last comic I'm being in the airport at four or 5am you know, headphones on and I was just so tired and just people just coming up the whole time was cool, but I had little moments of that glimpse, a little for last comic. When I used to do morning radio here in Detroit, I would be out all the time and people would come up and at least knew my name or recognize my you know, name easily. My name is Lee twine.

39:59

I Listen to you with Danny Ivana dude yeah in the queue crew

40:03

yeah so that was so that was probably like my first experience like from the Comedy Central stuff you know no one really ever said anything years after last comic um then it turned into that I go to people would stare for a second and then you can feel them staring and then they'd always come up and I would get Did you go to you know so and so Tavern all the time I was a bartender there You look familiar were you one of my regulars somebody did you go to whatever high school like people just couldn't they would want to immediately you know think I was like was on a show they would just go this guy's face is familiar and they would just guess oh that's funny. Yeah, does your kid play soccer with my kid? It was just like always the and I never want to go well you've been on but you probably because then you know you have people go man that's not it

40:54

is it's a numbers game right? So probably not as many people watched Comedy Central at the time maybe even let's say it was even just 2 million people but last Comic Standing your season had something like 15 million plus

41:07

yeah we are we had the most out of all the seasons It was just that was like a perfect wave

41:13

and this is before social media

41:15

before social media not a lot of options I mean there's people watched network TV Yeah, so we had we had 15 million people in episode but no way to capture them looking back like there was no way to then get that fanbase because it was weird boy yet my space at the time my my space page crushed it then you know as time goes, you know went on it got less and less if you watch a guy now on America's Got Talent or something you know I have a lot of friends that do that show and their numbers you just watch their social media stuff in their numbers spike like crazy. Josh blue who won last comic he's on AGT

41:54

we're sure well now AGT gets probably even more I mean that that's like a phenomenon that Yeah, now it's

42:00

I don't know how you do comedy in like 90 seconds though. I wouldn't even know. Yeah, I don't even know how you would do it to be impossible.

42:07

So what was it like being on last Comic Standing with all of those years with some huge names alonza Bowden, Kathleen Madigan, Tammy PascalI, Todd glass Bonnie McFarlane like these these are some huge huge names the is it even at your level? Is it still intimidating?

42:25

Do you know what at the time like looking back you know, because that show was on so long goes like that there's no way I should have lasted a week with that group but everybody's grown since then. You know, there's no way you know, if you look at that as a sporting event, there's no way I would have been out the first week you know, compared to, you know, Goldman or Kathleen Madigan, are you kidding me with just those who are Alonzo or anybody Tammy and I could still I could still you know, will hold a candle to not worry about him but binary farland is crazy funny. What helped me on that show was I think Michigan did in the sense where I had a couple t shirts that said the word Detroit on it. And I remember talking in wardrobe, they weren't gonna they weren't gonna block out any logos because that just really expensive so you had to wear everything nothing could have a logo on it anything there's no print of the day they put a little piece of black tape over anything that says so I had a shirt that said Detroit soul on it, and they're like, you can't wear that I'm like, it's not a it's not a company. It's not a logo. It's just literally the words Detroit soul, but there was a company and at the time as a clothing company that had Detroit found Detroit soul whatever so I decided what I wore the T shirt and we were kind of sequestered so you didn't have a lot of different clothes so I literally wore the same stuff all the time and he just wanted promoted the crap out of that person's t shirt company that I think I bought at some boutique or someplace in Royal Oak, but it led everybody in the Detroit area No, I'm from Michigan. I literally think that was a clutch play that when voting started you know obviously being from Detroit you know Michigan Detroit people are very kind of stick with their own in a very so I think I got a lot of votes just that way and at the end of last comic, they didn't let me even get to talk when I won. There's a weird thing you know, normally of a thing. I remember looking at the camera and this was the only thing that was on and I held up my you know, my Michigan hand and I pointed at it and I just went Thank you Michigan. Like goes the only thing I got to say at the end of last comic when I want because you go we're gonna come to you you have two seconds they literally said that. And then as the balloons are dropping, they plug season three last Comic Standing. That happened two weeks later, but so I just turned my hand showed the Michigan mate and went Yeah, thank you. That was a

44:46

yes that's us, Michigan born we take care of our own. Between that and Jeff Katz calling everybody gone Hey, remember the guy from the spaghetti bender Plus,

44:56

you know this was I got fired from Q 95 in Detroit. I just came off a six years of being morning radio in Detroit so I had some decent numbers of people knowing who I was even if they didn't know me as a comedian it's just just like every politician it's just it doesn't matter what they believe in or something gets is their name recognizable people just vote if you know from people that these that recognize the name

45:23

so how did you feel you won? You won $50,000 right? And then how did you feel when season two or season three How did you feel when season three went Alonzo walks away with 250,000

45:36

Yeah, so yeah, I want 50 Alonzo once a quarter of a million like four weeks later but here's the funny thing about my winning 50 when you want it you got you got this thing wasn't a TV show. They didn't give you a TV show that was gonna be on NBC it was this thing called a development deal so that basically and you got that as part of winning last comic so you couldn't even say no to it. That was legit. Just like here you want a bunch of car wax if you're on prices, right? You can't say I don't I don't want that. So it was a what's the math It was a I want $50,000 in that was it was a $50,000 holding deal is what it was called because now you were just on TV for eight weeks or nine weeks at 15 million. There were a lot of other networks that were like okay, let's maybe grab this guy so what happens with that $50,000 holding deal is they give you 50 grand and then for a year you can't do anything so they basically just take you off the market for $50,000 which I know some people go on $50,000 a lot it's literally like $5 not because I'll do the math for you. So then everybody on last comic you got paid union scale through sag to be on the show. So every time you saw somebody every week that person got paid $310 right whatever the union thing is so you're making $310 a week to be on a network show in front of 15 million people everybody who made it to the top five all got paid the same everybody made $22,000 from start to finish right from very first audition if you were on every single episode if your face ended up on air you got $22,000 so I won my 50k NBC then subtracted the 22 that I already made from the 50 buy it wasn't on top of they subtracted the 20 from the third right so now that bumped me down to 30 and then with taxes at 28% and then agent manager whatever and there were some other weird health insurance or insurance thing I deposited a check after winning last Comic Standing for 40 $300 ouch so I didn't vote for 4300 bucks or maybe it was actually no it was 47 because it was under five so it was like 4700 bucks cuz I you know I got the check after it went through the wringer and one that the fact that they prorated me You bastard right you prorated me that everybody pesky tally Gary Goldman Alonzo everybody made that standard stuff and then so yeah, so I won on last comic. Yeah 40 4700 was the was the cash amount I walked away and I did the Detroit soul t shirt guy didn't even send me free t shirts. So it wasn't even I didn't even make you know, any any coin from that. But it was good though. It all came back.

48:30

The Detroit soul guy probably sold more than the 40 $700 worth of shirts after that.

48:34

I think he did I you know, I think I went to the Chrysler Building or someplace he the he had a little store and maybe it was there and they're like, Oh, yeah, you wore my shirt on the TV. And I remember just being non non give a shitty I was like, What? Were your shirts, like every day on an on NBC and nothing. It's all good. It's all fun. That's all

48:53

good. Well, it's still awesome that you want and I imagine that you were able to get more zeros, as you said earlier when you were doing the clubs.

49:02

Yeah, that then that changed. And then you know, everything changed. After that.

49:06

I know we're kind of nearing the end of our time. I you have an amazing podcast.

49:10

Yeah, I do a podcast with another fellow last Comic Standing winner. JOHN reap you do a little Heffernan read podcast. I tried doing podcasts on my own, and I just don't have it in me. I just don't I just can't I just can't babble. It seems like I'm long winded. But I need somebody talking to me in order to do

49:29

it. Yeah, that's a fun podcast. You've been doing that for a while. We started

49:33

like 10 years ago. I'm also bad at follow through if me and him would have just kept doing it. We go through things like he was going and then he went through a divorce and he just stopped doing it for a year. And then I'm like, we should do it again. And then we'd started and I went through it and it was always these starting to stop. So this one's been somewhat consistent. We just did it over COVID is one of those things where I was home going well, I probably should have been working on this for a while and just trying to back up. It's fun though. Me and john re brought him to Michigan and we did this town swap thing where I performed in his his town. And then he came to Michigan and he performed here and then we decided to get a little cray cray and we decided that we wanted to perform at bowling alleys in Michigan, all up and down. 131 so we put together it's called the how we World Tour.

50:19

It always amazed me how many bowling alleys do comedy shows?

50:26

I didn't know it was a thing. I we were literally going let's just let's do like these one nighters since this is back when clubs aren't opening, and we can only have 50 people in a room or whatever, let's just try to get creative here. And then we found out that there's a couple clubs that are in bowling alleys and we don't know what they're like. And we're like let's get back we feel like it's rocky for when everyone he like trains really rich and then he goes back to the basics. We kind of figured like that's what this is like. We're going to do those. Have you been to any of those clubs?

51:00

I've been to a few I can't think of the names but chaplains which I'm sure you've been to,

51:04

yeah, chaplains which is no longer there, but yeah, they there that's what Jeff Foxworthy started his redneck thing. First time he did it. Yeah. chaplains was was that two bowling alleys?

51:14

Yeah, because they all have these banquet halls. When they're not doing banquets they're doing, they're doing comedy show. Yeah. One last thing is you've written a couple of books, the holding deal, and you wrote a book called I come to you from the future.

51:27

Yeah, one was it advice one, but the holding deal I put out during COVID. Actually, I mentioned the holding deal earlier. This kind of where I got the idea for it. It's about a comic who wins a reality TV show, but it's all fake. And it's a spy thriller. And he the comic becomes a courier. Every city he goes to is supposed to just form in the drop off a package. And that's it. It's not full sizing questions and he gets a few extra bucks every week if it just drops off an envelope to somebody in whatever town he's in. And the craziness happens from there. The holding deal,

52:00

no big deal. There's so many ways to enjoy john Heffron, live at bowling alleys.

52:06

And mostly here here's a big way my social media numbers suck. So if anybody's listening in, you're on Instagram. I need to sweeten those numbers. I'm telling you right now. Do I even need music about Wait, what's this? No, no, no, I'm gonna do this here. Everybody's comedian john Heffron. You just heard me on the podcast. But listen, if you're on Instagram, go to Instagram right now. And in the search type comedian john Heffron, and you're gonna see me and hit the Follow button. Just I need I don't do anything fun on Instagram and be honest with you. I do nothing fun. I don't have yoga pants so I never show my ass in yoga pants however, I need to beef up the numbers because I've been yelled at you know before so okay so there you

52:56

know it's an excellent question I was just gonna ask you where we can keep up with the on the socials. Everyone needs Instagram at least 10,000 so you can get the swipe up on the stories

53:04

Yeah, or Facebook slash john Heffernan fear in Michigan doing a lot more shows here at home than on the road sticking close see in a bowling alley somewhere up north of trying to do that in the fall like that was my big thing is I was just like, why am I even gonna leave Michigan there's so many fun cities that I just go

53:23

all the funds in Michigan. Yeah, I think your schedule is on john Heffron comm check it all out.

53:28

It's cool. Mm hmm. What's finally it was great to finally I was looking at the thread when you gave me the link to how to talk to you and I realize it's been a long process I've just spent kept scrolling and it was always like I'll do it in a week I'll do it in with COVID I just you promise stuff and then you never write anything down. You're like Wait, what are we doing? So I'm good. I'm glad I could finally close that open loop in my gut. When we finally did

53:53

it. Yes. Thank you so much. I do appreciate it.

53:56

You should stop I'm at the comedy castle November you should I would definitely do that don't bring your your buddy though. Because then if he hears anything somewhat similar to anything I did at the spaghetti bender in 1990. at Eastern then I'm gonna have to hear from that Yahoo. And I just don't have it in me.

54:11

I'll make sure Okay, keep keep that Jeff away. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right, everyone. How awesome was john Heffron, one of my favorite comedians ever since my days in college, love listening to him on Q95-5 with Danny Bonaduce. So exciting to finally get a chance to hang with them. Love that story about Lucy Liu. It's amazing isn't it? How just one event in your life can change the rest of your life forever. Just have to be open to it. Definitely check out John's books I'll put a link to them in the show notes. Also if john have friend comes to your town whether it be comedy club or bowling alley, definitely go see john and concert. He's hilarious and you'll have an amazing time laughing all night.

Speaking of having an amazing time this episode was amazing, but we're nearing the end The end of the episode is upon us. So that means only one thing doesn't it? That's right it means it's time for another trending hashtag from the world of hashtag around up follow hashtag round up on twitter at hashtag round up. Download the absolutely always free hashtag roundup app for your Google or Apple phones play along with us every day all day and one day one of your tweets may show up on an episode of live from Detroit the Jeff Dwoskin show fame and fortune away to this week's hashtag #Unlikely2021CollegeCourse brought to you by the unlikely game a weekly game on hashtag around up time to dive into some unlikely 2021 college courses. Inspired Of course by the conversation I had with john about registering for classes at old Eastern Michigan University. Sit back and enjoy these #Unlikely2021CollegeCourse tweets: How to get a degree in epidemiology simply by reading Facebook. Excellent, unlikely college course science and other bogus facts. How to cover your nose with your mask. I think a lot of people need that one. Snapchat filters for dummies the history of pizza toppings, ooh. Finally, we can learn where pineapple pizza came from assembling IKEA furniture. That's an important course to take if you want to save your marriage one day in the future look for a machine repair. Hopefully one day someone from McDonald's will take that class breathing while wearing a mask. 101 I need that and 102 COVID home remedies. Yeah, that does it. That sounds like a great class. Why should the pets get all the good medicine? How to hook a catfish? How to win an argument on the internet. The Office quotes these are all amazing #Unlikely2021CollegeCourse tweets. Quantum Physics for babies never too early to learn. I am Groot for beginners. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am groot. I'm sorry. I shouldn't assume you also took that course and understood what I just said. And the final #Unlikely2021CollegeCourse: Tequila 101 denne denne, denne, denne, denne, denne Tequila. Right. Those are awesome, and they're all of course retweeted at @JeffDwoskinShow on Twitter. They will also be listed in the show notes, retweet them, show him some love. One day I'll read your tweet and you'll Hope everyone retweets you as well show him some love.

Here we are at the end of Episode 77. Can you believe it that just flew by then it. I want to thank my guest john Heffron for joining me. I want to thank my friend Jeff Katz, for allowing me to share his john Heffron story with john and the world. And of course, I want to thank all of you for coming back week after week. It means the world to me, and I'll see you next time.

57:56

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host Jeff Dwoskin. Now go repeat everything you've heard and sound like a genius. catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai