#160 International and Award Winning Comedian Tamer Kattan

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Jeff Dwoskin 0:30

All right, Anna, thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You got this show going each and every weekend. This week was no exception. Welcome, everybody to Episode 160 of classic conversations. As always, I am your host Jeff Dwoskin. Great to have you back for another whole areas classic conversation. Today I am joined by international comedian Tamer Kattan. You're gonna love this conversation. Tamer is fascinating. We talk about traveling the world and doing comedy in so many different countries and translating the jokes to make sure they work in different areas of the world. We talked about when he went to Afghanistan to perform for the US troops All that and more coming up in just a few seconds. In these few seconds. I just want to remind everyone of the awesome episodes waiting for you in our back catalogue specifically last week's episode with Kato Kaelin. That's right good. Oh Kato from the OJ Simpson murder trial, the world's most famous house guest hung out with me on classic conversations. Check that out. Check out the bonus episodes from our crossing the stream show so much for you to listen to all classic. I promise goes That's my guarantee. All right. Well, without further ado, let's move on to today's interview with Tamer Kattan, winner of the World Series A Comedy Winner of comedy knockout on Tru TV met and married his wife during the pandemic all in one day. It's a fascinating story. Can't wait for you to hear it. And everybody here it is. Enjoy. All right, everyone. Can't wait to introduce you to my next guest international headlining comedian Tom markets on what's up. Welcome to the show. Hey, thank

Tamer Kattan 2:19

you. That's such a lovely, happy introduction. Mentos commercial. I love it.

Jeff Dwoskin 2:25

I know I try. I've got it set the tone right away. You know, it's

Tamer Kattan 2:31

it's great.

Jeff Dwoskin 2:32

So it's, it's great to have you, I appreciate you. You're hanging out with me.

Tamer Kattan 2:36

Thanks for having me.

Jeff Dwoskin 2:37

It was such an interesting journey from Egypt to the United States. You're in the UK now. Right?

Tamer Kattan 2:43

No, actually, I'm in Lisbon right now. So it's a very strange experience. Because like, doing the road in Europe is like instead of states, it's all different countries. So I feel like James Bond a little bit like I'm going to Austria and then to London and then to Ireland and then to France. And then back to Lisbon. It's wild. What's it

Jeff Dwoskin 3:01

like? How does the comedy translate from country to country or even areas of a country to another area of a country? Do you ever does that get in your head, like they're not gonna say that relate to a particular story or a you know,

Tamer Kattan 3:13

it's really funny, I've always just like broken it down to when I used to work in advertising. And this guy said to me one time, there's no such thing as mass communication. There's only one on one, if you're good at one on one, you can replicate that for mass, right? And I think it's the same thing. It's like, I can speak to foreign audiences just as easily. I can speak to a foreign person and make the same adjustments that I make when speaking to a foreign person. Like if I'm going to make a joke about basketball in LA, I first have to explain Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal. But the nice thing about being an American going to Europe, as opposed to the reverse is like there's celebrities and regular people until I moved to Europe, I didn't realize there's also regular countries and celebrity countries, and we come from a celebrity country. So it's very easy for me to do my material and have the majority of audiences get it almost 100% of the time, the only difference that I've made an adjustment towards is I actually perform for European audiences as if the room I'm performing in is slightly bigger because of the language sometimes it's people are speaking English as a second language, or even a third or fourth. So I speak to a 200 person room as if it's a 2000 person room and slow down a little bit. But that's actually been great for my comedy. And I've been finding I've been finding my physicality the same way that I'm a little bit more physical. If I'm speaking to a foreign person who doesn't know English 100% So that part's been fun. Like I feel like my comedy is changing and evolving a little bit.

Jeff Dwoskin 4:41

It's so interesting. And then have you been back to the states to see how this new application works back?

Tamer Kattan 4:47

Not Yeah, but I mean, ever since I started like I went to University in Sweden, even though I was from LA in New York. I was I've always been a lot of time in Europe. So I did the Edinburgh Fringe. Like my second year during comedy. I spent four Are yours in the UK. So this is my first time we're on like living here properly. And I moved my mom here and she lives really close to us. So now Europe feels like home for the first time. It's been a fairly easy transition. And COVID here has totally created a shake up with digital nomads and expats where so many companies now are saying, Yeah, live wherever you want to live, and you can work remotely. And what that's done is it's had a lot of people in Europe, say, Well, hey, I'm gonna move to Hungary, or I'm going to move to, you know, other parts of Eastern Europe that are really cheap, or places like Lisbon and outside Lisbon, where the cost of living is much lower. Everything else was fantastic like Lisbon's, a super cosmopolitan city, and if you can live here, but make your money outside, it's a great quality of life.

Jeff Dwoskin 5:44

I love that. So one thing that I do love about this new culture that we're in where I'm talking to a company, and they're like, five states away, and it's like, are you okay, being fully remote? I'm like, Yes, I am. Yeah,

Tamer Kattan 5:57

it's great.

Jeff Dwoskin 5:57

It's funny. Yeah, I don't think I've driven 10 miles since March 20. Get out? Are you serious? There was a there was a time where it was like, a friend of mine had to say, Dude, you know, you have to drive your car or the battery will die. And when it dies, like that kind of death, you got to get a new battery. So you have to drive you're like, Okay, I'm like I this is great. Staying, I'm saving 1000s of dollars.

Tamer Kattan 6:23

It's really weird. It's really shaken up the cultural map and Europe now there's all these communities and cities that never had a big expat population. And now there's a ton of English speaking people looking for entertainment and communal entertainment with like, like seeing a live comedy or live sports instead of just watching comedy on YouTube

Jeff Dwoskin 6:44

or TV, or comedy live is completely a different experience.

Tamer Kattan 6:49

It's very different thing. Yeah. It's

Jeff Dwoskin 6:51

when people say, Oh, they've only seen it on TV. I'm like, I guess if you've adapted to that. But if you're like, Well, yeah, being a comic, and obviously, so both of us having seen so much. It's like you know, the energy and being there just so different. 100% Man, when you watch someone on TV after watching them live here, you're like, Oh, this is nothing compared to

Tamer Kattan 7:13

Oh, man, it totally drives me crazy. When people are like, Oh, I watch comedy on TV. That's like saying, Hey, do you like going to the zoo? And you're like, oh, yeah, I love Wild Animal Planet. Like it's that's TV man. You gotta smell us in real life to smelt like we're wild. Like the audience's to me are like domesticated animals. And we are still part Wolf. And I think in order to sense that animalistic, primal dog without a collar this that comics have you got to be there live?

Jeff Dwoskin 7:40

Oh, yeah. I mean, just the whole one on one. Let's staring them right down. Yeah, getting right into it reacting when things go good or bad? Yeah, it's nothing like watching on TV. It's so totally

Tamer Kattan 7:54

Yeah, it's like a real date or just a zoom date. It's like, it's so different.

Jeff Dwoskin 8:01

I don't know if you've ever had a garden. It's like growing your own tomato versus getting one in a restaurant.

Tamer Kattan 8:06

Yes. I like that. Yeah, exactly. You're like, these

Jeff Dwoskin 8:09

are both tomatoes. What? Technically, yes. So interesting thing. I when I was looking at like clips and stuff like that, the clips of you, not in the US, say call you a American comedian. Yeah, but I know you're originally born in Egypt. So at some point, you came here. I know. It was a young way before you would have gotten into Yeah,

Tamer Kattan 8:33

I got this goofy accent. Yeah, I was like eight years old when we came to the States quite well. A couple

Jeff Dwoskin 8:39

questions. Sure. You have a bit. You are like a melting pot. Your family's like a melting pot. And it's totally right. Your mom was Jewish. Your dad was Muslim. There's, yeah, who was Christian in there. There's because there's in that?

Tamer Kattan 8:53

Well, my dad, my dad's family's from Alexandria, which is always a mash up between Greece and out between Southern Europe and Africa. Alexandria is where Alexander the Great live with Cleopatra. And it's where my very Egyptian grandfather married my very Greek, red haired, green eyed grandmother. So my dad's mom was Greek Orthodox are very Christian and my dad was Muslim. And then he met my mom who was Jewish, and then their family on paper converted to Coptic orthodoxy, so they could legally stay in Egypt and keep their businesses.

Jeff Dwoskin 9:25

Okay, so your mom had to give up being Jewish to stand on paper on paper. So I gotta say the first thing that pops in my head when I found out you were Jewish art Jewish. Do you consider yourself right? It's because the mom is Jewish. You're Jewish in Judaism, but it's the opposite. Right? And Muslim Islam.

Tamer Kattan 9:44

Yeah, if your dad's Muslim, I live in the loophole

Jeff Dwoskin 9:48

for those who who don't think politics goes back that far. I'm sure that was crafted that way. So my first thing that popped in my head was oh my god, I got to ask them at did when you were younger? Did you celebrate Passover in Egypt? Because it's me? What was it either because in my head? Well, yeah. And then Moses, actually it was right over there. Right? You can just point and it was just like, I don't know why

Tamer Kattan 10:16

it'd be like watching a Godzilla movie in Tokyo. No, you know, we weren't really we weren't really religious. You know, I think like, I mean, of course on high holy days, we'd go to temple and stuff and we had you know, of course friends but we were more culturally than religiously Jewish. And and same on my dad's side, I really didn't do anything with Islam. The only person who really pushed me to be a religion was my grandmother who baptized me Greek Orthodox God, against everyone's will. No one knew. I mean, I was like, four I didn't know what was going on. I just knew I was getting pizza. And and then she came home and said, Oh, you're your kids, Greek Orthodox. Now. My parents were like, what? But she was the matriarch of the family. So nobody questioned or you were

Jeff Dwoskin 10:59

probably able to get into any college you want when it came to that part. You could just check every box it's funny,

Tamer Kattan 11:05

we got to do a big my dad and I got a big argument because my dad always thought I didn't study enough and then when I got accepted to almost every college I went to he's like, you know, you can't mark African American you're not really African American. I'm like, Dad, I didn't mark African. That's about the only one you're not right. Exactly. But I am I am technically Oh, you're African American. Yeah, technically. I mean, Egypt, South Africa, but no, I didn't mark I just marked other like, like a good mutt.

Jeff Dwoskin 11:31

Oh, man, I This is Audio Only but I do wish everyone could see your mustache. You have an amazing

Tamer Kattan 11:37

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, you know, it's funny. I never in my life. Thought I would grow a mustache because I thought like on an Arab face, it just looks pretty. I look like a dictator. You know, and I never thought my wife was like, You got to grow when I say she really liked mustaches and manage. I mean, besides the kids yelling out in some audio every time they see me. Besides that, I think I'm kind of growing into it. You know, now that I'm middle aged, and I think I've kind of dig the mustache now. I really like it but I'm still I'm still getting used to it like I don't know. I have to eat ice cream with a spoon now like an English gentleman. Other words my mustache gets these little dreadlocks and it looks like a homeless person.

Jeff Dwoskin 12:12

My wife likes scruff so I can't I can't she doesn't allow me to shave she because she I guess her and her own nice way she just does not like me clean shape. There's no good way to say it. But the way she says it is like by like the scruff. Yeah, it's rough to get to the stage that you're at, you would have had gone through some real prickly periods. But once you get past that you have the magnificent Enos that is upon your face. After Thank you.

Tamer Kattan 12:41

That's very nice. You have to make sure I'm a bald guy. It's it's I've waited a long time for people to compliment me on my hair. I've been bald for like 20 years. So it's a new compliment I'm getting used to having I like it.

Jeff Dwoskin 12:56

Hey, we just need to take a quick break. I want to thank everyone for their support of the sponsors. When you support the sponsors. You're supporting us here at Classic conversations and that's how we keep the lights on. All right now we're back to my amazing conversation with Tamer Kattan definitely after the interview, go check out a picture of his mustache you'll understand why I was fawning over it so much. Anyway, back to our jock. My wife. Well let me go bald. I say that because I have a big bald spot. And so I take Propecia to kind of freeze my hair and time, right? Yeah, I I'm like, let me just I rather just I just but then I worried. So you have a great bald head. And it's like, I worry what my head would look like, right? That's, that's what you kind of, kind of,

Tamer Kattan 13:40

I think around head on an adult adult person means it's an indication that their mom had OCD and was constantly rolling the baby over to make sure you didn't have a flat spot in his head.

Jeff Dwoskin 13:52

I get that. So if I I had like the biggest head of hair growing up like I didn't have a forehead in high school. Right? It was just I had like one of those mullets until, like, way past when you should but before it was even called Amala. You know? Like, it was like,

Tamer Kattan 14:09

Are you just trying to hurt my feelings? Oh, no, no,

Jeff Dwoskin 14:11

what I'm saying is no, I'm not. I'm not trying to shame you. i What I'm saying is like, one day I was doing a show. And I was videotaping the show, right? The Stand Up Show. And there's nobody at this show. And it's like a fundraiser and I make a joke. It was actually about cats. They were raising money for like stray cats. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. What did we save here today? Oh, cat or something like that anyway, but I made you know, like, sometimes you make yourself laugh on stage, right? So I lean I kind of leaned over because I was laughing at my own joke, because I had just needed to entertain myself to get through it. You know how it is? Yeah, I'm watching it back on video. And I'm like, I'm bald. I've got a huge bald spot and my wife's like, we didn't know how to tell you.

Tamer Kattan 14:53

Oh, isn't that wild comedies gnarly,

Jeff Dwoskin 14:56

can't see it in a mirror. Right? And I was just like, why didn't you You tell me,

Tamer Kattan 15:00

I used to always say that being a comic gives you access to the best mirror in the world. It's not just like a video camera or pictures that people take of you. But also you can kind of tell what people will and will not tolerate from your look. You know what I mean? Like you can there's certain things that other comics can say that I can't say, because I know I have like tattoos and big scar next to my eye and a gold piece of gold on my tooth. You know, it's like, there's a reason why a very petite black man like Kevin Hart can say things that Patrice O'Neal could never say, You know what I mean? So it really it teaches you a lot and audience really lets you know where you are in the world.

Jeff Dwoskin 15:37

Absolutely. It's funny you say that, because the only mirror in the world that I could see the back of my head is at the Comedy castle and Royal Oak. We're kind of wrapped around. So if I was watching, I could see the back of my head. Which is not what you want. Oh, God. Anyway, that's funny. Ah, man, you know, for the interview. Obviously, I have to stock your life. And so since this is our first meeting, I found an interesting series that you did on YouTube. Nice to marry you with your wife. Oh, yeah. And so one, I'd love to hear about how you matter. But also, how did you get her to actually agree to be in videos with you? I can barely get my wife to listen to this podcast.

Tamer Kattan 16:19

Yeah, you're right. It was. It wasn't easy, especially because Swedish people are after they got through their Viking stage, they became quite shy. Like, they were really violent, angry people. And then now they're very quiet, very shy, and they sell Discount Furniture. Yeah, she she was not interested in being a part of the videos. But she's always been a self help person. I think what I did is created a good compromise like you're supposed to do in marriage. And the compromise was, it wasn't just this series wasn't going to just be about jokes. It was the point of intersection between what I love, which is comedy and what she loved, which was learning how to be a kinder human being. So for us, it was like the point of intersection was honesty. That's what I told her. These videos aren't about being funny. It's about us like being on camera and being very honest about what it's like to meet someone and ask them to marry you the first day you met, and then get married three weeks later, or two weeks later, actually,

Jeff Dwoskin 17:15

that's incredible. How long have you been married almost two years.

Tamer Kattan 17:18

So we got married right in the middle of COVID. She was a Swedish woman living in Barcelona. And I was in New York, in the Lower East Side. I was not interested in dating at all. But you know, New York, during quarantine, in a tiny apartment in the Lower East Side, I was just going bananas. When I was in college, whenever I'd feel, you know, like I was suffocating a little bit from being overwhelmed by all the work, I would always virtually travel with YouTube. And so I found out that on this dating app, bumble, there's a feature called passport, we could put yourself anywhere in the world. So I put myself in Barcelona, because that's where I was supposed to be. But the pandemic happened. So I put myself in Barcelona, and I said, I'm not interested in dating, and I made like a profile that was upside down. I go, I'm single, because I'm, I'm defensive. And I'm selfish. And I'm a comic. And it's like, being a single dad. And my kid is a piece of shit. People don't like my kid, my kids name is comedy. And he's, he's a brat, you know, and he's jealous. And he's selfish. And, and she wrote back a response that was in kind, like, she just admitted all of her flaws. And we started out very, very honest, and would have these six hour conversations over FaceTime. Because really, we didn't have anywhere else to go because of COVID. So we really got to know each other. And after about two and a half months or so, she said, You know, I already had COVID and recovered and I go, me too. So she goes well, when things start opening up. Why don't you come and stay with me in Spain, and we'll get to know each other because my roommates are staying in Germany. And so I have a free room for you in Barcelona. So I said, Great. I already had COVID. And even at a piece of paper that said I had COVID and recovered, which back then was like the golden ticket. And then I flew to Barcelona, layover in London get to Barcelona. And right when I get there, they said, Where are you going? And I'm like, I'm gonna meet my girlfriend. They're like, No, no, you can't. And I'm like, wait, here's all the here's all my paperwork. Here's a QR code from your government. And they said, No, we change the law yesterday. You can't come in. They took me to jail, and maybe spend the night in jail, and then sent me home the very next day. Two weeks later, I got back on a plane and met her in Gibraltar, which was technically Spanish soil but owned by the by the UK. And it was such a tiny country, like you could walk the length of the whole country. But it was so tiny that stayed green the whole time. No COVID deaths. And it was probably the last place on European soil that was allowing Americans in, I flew there we met and the day we met, I said let's get married so that whatever happens with COVID, they can't keep us apart. And then we got married. It took us two weeks because our birth certificates weren't arriving because of COVID to like even FedEx couldn't send us our birth certificates. So we're stuck on this island for two weeks meeting all these other people that are they're getting married because it's kind of the de Vegas of Europe, and we were like in a wedding. For 282 year olds from from England and they, they pulled us on the dance floor, and they're like, these guys are getting married soon as soon as their birth certificates arrive. And then we'd be on the dance floor with all these old British people. It was this quick and gray. And then we got married and walked across the border to Spain, gotten a car and drove to Barcelona. And we've been together ever since.

Jeff Dwoskin 20:17

That is incredible. That is really cool. And so you got through the hardest part, which is probably like, confined in a close environment for a long time.

Tamer Kattan 20:27

Yeah, definitely. And it's funny, we've been noticing, like, the cultural differences are real being, you know, a Muslim Jew from New York and LA, and her being this sweet Swedish girl from the woods in Sweden. I mean, if a garbage truck drives by she jumps you don't I mean, like, it was a very, and she'd always be like, Why are you so loud? And why do you complain so much? And I'm like, the Arab Jew, like, What are you talking about? This is I can't be quiet New York because no one would hear me. Like it's just a big, loud, noisy city. And so now we're we finally found our groove, you know, but there was definitely some cultural differences to get over.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:05

So how did your families react to the click marriage? Everyone? Cool? Well, it's

Tamer Kattan 21:09

funny because like, I was 49 when we got married, so my mom was just happy, you know? And, and her mom, same thing, you know, because Anna was in her late 30s. We just hit it off, and we had so many things in common. She's literally got a Mel Brooks tattoo on her arm says it's great to be the king. And I was like, oh my god, like, Who's this beautiful redhead with a Mel Brooks tattoo on her arm? Like it's as if it was like that movie Weird Science where the kid made the girl in his computer. Like, that's what I felt like, like I it was like, I made her at an Ikea. It was ridiculous. I mean, she's absolutely a soulmate. And I am not someone who uses that phrase at all.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:47

That's great. And that's that's an awesome quote, too. So yeah, that is definitely a comedian magnet right there. I used to think, like in high school, like, I used to think like, my perfect girl is someone that can quote one to one with me When Harry Met Sally. Oh, that's great. Until I dated a girl that met that and I was like, I was wrong. I there is more to life than quoting a movie. So. But that's, that's so cool. So I've you started to go back touring and stuff? How was she reacting to marry a comedian?

Tamer Kattan 22:24

Is she it chickens, some definitely taken some getting used to because when we're in Barcelona, she'd already lived in Barcelona for like, eight years. So I was there. And I just I was the quintessential tourist. And everything I wanted to do. She's like, ah, that's touristy. That's not cool. You're not gonna like that. So we started butting heads a little bit. And I'm like, Look, you've been living here for too long. And you're finished with Barcelona. I'm like, why don't we look for another place. And we found Portugal. And part of the reason why we moved here is because you can get a golden visa if you buy property. And so we moved my mom here so she could be close to us. She's a 20 minute train ride away. And now she has a golden visa, which means she has the same rights as a European citizen, because she bought this house in Portugal. That's why we did that. But it also complicated things. Because being on the road when we lived in Barcelona, she still had her her community there, she had her her support group of friends. So when I was on the road, she could go up with a different friend every day. But when we moved to Portugal, we're brand new here. And she didn't know that many people at first it was it was really hard. But now we're, we're finding our groove. The nice thing is she works remotely. So if I'm in London for 10 days, for example, she could get a Thursday or a Friday off and then come and meet me. And so we're never way more than seven days from each other.

Jeff Dwoskin 23:40

It's so cool. Yeah, I started a podcast during COVID. You fell in love and got married? Everyone's got their thing.

Tamer Kattan 23:48

Yeah, I love that. I think that's really I think it's really important. You know, it's like, you don't want to be a caterpillar that goes into cocoon and comes out of caterpillar. You know what I mean? Like, this has been a human cocoon that we've been in, in a way and I think it's really important that when we're when we're trapped in this cocoon, like state that we do do something and find the silver lining in it. I do think there is some silver lining to slowing down stopping. It's like somebody hit, you know, hit the reset button on life. A little bit.

Jeff Dwoskin 24:17

Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. So cool. I that's exciting. It really is. It's kind of cool. I'm just here like that kind of that love story. It's it's really, really and she does have red hair. That's a real red.

Tamer Kattan 24:29

Yeah. Oh, yeah. God, God can see her red hair. It's crazy. I just realized by the way, like one of the reasons why she loves this mustache is because she loved Magnum PI. If I had that hat on, she'd lose her mind. Like you're wearing a Detroit Tigers hat. If I was wearing that hat with this mustache. I'd be the four Magnum PI transformation. Do you remember that show Magnum P I?

Jeff Dwoskin 24:52

Of course I'm from Detroit. It's yeah, okay. Yes, you're you're given that when you when you're born D I went I I'll have to find this picture and send it to you. I don't think I I had a fake mustache one year and I went as Magnum PI. Yeah, really? Well, if I had had your mustache I think I could have said legit on Magnum PI. I think the version I ended up with was 70. Bow Chicka porn star. But you know, I mean, I tried. I tried. I think that was the year my wife was pregnant, and she got a blonde wig, and she went his pregnant Barbie. And then I Oh, that's great. It was in the heyday of where we really I can't remember the last time I went to a Halloween party, but we still love dressing up. But yeah, when is Magnum P I once? Absolutely. This is the wrong. You need the blue hat. This is a gray blue and yeah, you're right, but it's so funny.

Tamer Kattan 25:46

I'm not afraid to say it. Now. That man had a great but I would have felt weird about saying that 10 years ago, but you know, we've progressed we've read but what an ass. I'm still impressed by it.

Jeff Dwoskin 26:03

Too funny, too funny. Sorry to interrupt this amazing conversation with Tamra Catan especially right in the middle of our deep dive into Tom Selleck. Amazing ass. Are we gonna take a quick break? And we're back with Tamer Kattan are about to talk about his awesome podcast enjoy. I would say you mentioned your mom a couple of times. You've got a pretty cool podcast. I don't know if he's still do it or not. They tried to bury us you do a podcast with your mom?

Tamer Kattan 26:32

Yeah, I was doing a podcast with my mom. We went on hold for a little bit, you know, because for lots of reasons, I was going on the road a lot. I hadn't figured out a strategy for how to record episodes when I was on the road. So we kind of put it on pause. But now that she lives here, I think there's a very good reason to re strategize and think about how to get her back on the air because I think it was great for her. And I think she had more fans than me. Like at the end of the day. It was really funny. It was like imagine Johnny Carson, but Ed McMahon getting more love. It was a little bit frustrating if I remember being in Boston one time we did the women in comedy festival because my mom was a woman obviously. And so they let us into the festival. And we did a live version of our podcast, and it was sold out. And I remember thinking why would a great festival they do such a great job marketing. Turns out it wasn't their marketing. It was a bunch of people that drove you know, one woman drove over an hour and a half. And then they asked me Oh, can I have a picture? And I'm like, of course and then they handed me the camera. And I was like, Oh, this is bullshit. I've been doing this 10 years, and my mom was like, Oh, get out of the way. Like this is bullshit.

Jeff Dwoskin 27:41

That is so funny. How many how big of an audience did you guys have? Oh, we

Tamer Kattan 27:46

were getting almost 10,000 downloads per episode. And it's still we're still on like iTunes charts and stuff in different countries. That was the thing that's fascinating, because every episode was an immigrant from a different country. And every episode was in three parts. It was Where did you come from? And why did you come to America. And then the Part Two was what's been the toughest part. And we always ended on a positive what's been the best part of being in America. And it was just a way to add the other side of the prism that was coming from the media, which everything about immigrants was so negative. And it was just like, hey, here's some nice normal people that immigrated and what they sacrifice for the love of their children and what they were willing to do for the opportunity for to have more in life, which at the end of the day made me feel more proud of being American and more happy to be an American. So yeah, I love it. And I think it's necessary. So I'm going to try to find a way to get it back.

Jeff Dwoskin 28:42

I'm gonna let you explain it. But tell everyone what the phrase they tried to bury us, me. And so when I read it, I was like, wow, that's powerful.

Tamer Kattan 28:48

Yeah. So when I was a kid, I lived in East LA and I used to get picked on quite a bit. And there was an old Mexican man that lived in our neighborhood. And they always kind of accepted me as like a Mexican, practically, like we were the Mexicans of Africa, Egyptians, you know, they had pyramids, we had pyramids, things like that. You know, they really accepted me and I've always loved Mexican people for that reason, like they really made me feel welcome when a lot of other people didn't. And there was an old Mexican man who, who saw me on a day where I came home and I had two black eyes and he could tell what happened. So he said, without me even saying a word to him, he said, he said, You know what, you're just like one of us. And I want you to remember something. It's hard now, what's hard now will make you strong later. And I want Cesar Chavez one said, they tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds, and he's on that's you. Be strong and let this stuff is going to fuel you. It's going to make you stronger. And I never forgot that old man because it was a it was such a macho thing to say like a motivational poster thing to say. But it was his version of intimacy. Like he put his arm around me and gave me a hug. And I remember I almost cried because I just felt like nobody cared about me at that point. So I've never forgot In that moment, it's I can still smell his cologne. When I think about this big, tough Mexican man giving me a hug and letting me know it's gonna be okay. That's great.

Jeff Dwoskin 30:09

Do you had someone like that? Yeah, I was lucky. So the transition then coming over as an eight year old Egyptian to the United States, rough with the other kids?

Tamer Kattan 30:19

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. It was I think, I mean, this is even way before 911. But I told one of my friends that you know, racism, if parents aren't careful, it leaks to the kids, right. And I remember I used to watch the news in the morning. And if they talked about gas prices going up on the news, I get beat up at school, because the news are talking about gas prices going up. And then I can imagine their parents at home playing Oh, those damn Arabs, and then the kids going, I know one of those. And then, you know, expressing their parents rage onto me. And so it was a it was a very bizarre feeling to experience like this lack of justice, this injustice at such an early age. Like I mean, I think it's all over my body. Now. You know, that the tattoos that the reason why I fell in love with punk rock music. I mean, at a very early age, I'd watch cops and robbers and I'd vote for the robbers pirate, I vote for the pirates, I'd vote for the Indians instead of the Cowboys, because I'm like, they think I'm a bad guy, but I'm really a good guy. So maybe it's the same for these other bad guys. It's formed a big part of my personality and, and probably formed still, the reason why I do the type of comedy that I do is I'm still a big fan of using comedy like a Trojan horse. Like it looks like a gift. But on the inside, there's little soldiers that try to make you think different.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:31

That's a great approach. And so as it's kids are such assholes, right?

Tamer Kattan 31:36

You really are. Their kids are pieces of shit. They really are.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:41

So sorry to do that. But it thinks I would say you turned out great, though.

Tamer Kattan 31:46

It's very nice for you to say thanks a lot. Yeah, I'm awake. And I'm a work in progress. It's so funny. Just tonight, I was walking with Anna. We're walking in this really pretty Street in Lisbon. And I have these moments of frustration, right? And I try to make a distinction, like my wife goes, Why are you so angry, and I go, I go, I'm not angry. I'm I'm a comedian. And we we don't go on stage and talk about the things that we love. We talk about the things that frustrate us. And I go Jerry Seinfeld always said, It's not about being angry. It's about being frustrated. And she goes good, I don't have a problem with you being frustrated. So as we're walking down the street, there was two people on one of those scooters, you know, like a bolt scooter or a bird scooter. And it was a to two people. It's supposed to be one person on the scooter. I sound like such an old Jewish man right now. It's supposed to be one person on the scooters, two people on a scooter. And they're in the street. And it's a bumpy Street. And there's a bus going by. So of course, my rage starts bubbling. And my frustration starts bubbling. But she's right next to me. And I don't want to disappoint my wife. So there's these two forces, right? There's my New York rage. And now my new married band want to make my wife happy, be a better person. So I catch myself mid rage, right? So as they're ready by on my look at these idiots writing to people and it's good. They're gonna get themselves killed. And then I stop and I go, but you know, we're all equal. Everybody's just trying their best. And my wife just looks at me. She goes nice. Try it.

Jeff Dwoskin 33:13

Man, those scooters, I was walking out of a building once. And the I think there's somebody alive right now because I have fast enough reflexes to have stopped the door. They were way too close to the door of a building. It's not even the sidewalk as the glass doors. I'm just the things that go through your mind when you play out a different scenario that could have happened, you know? Yeah, I was just like, That guy doesn't know he was a second from being in the hospital easy. Whether 100 person going through that door, whatever it was, if I had thrown it open. I mean, it was just like, scary. I have to tell my kids because they don't wear helmets either.

Tamer Kattan 33:49

Oh, I know. That's what my wife's number one thing is she's like, wear a helmet now. Like, I'm not gonna wear a helmet. I have tattoos. I'm too cool. I can't wear.

Jeff Dwoskin 33:57

And I think when you sign into the app, you agree to a helmet. So you've waived your rights. If you smash your head open. It's like to all Jews, those kids. Too funny. What is tantrum Jesus because it sounds amazing.

Tamer Kattan 34:14

Thanks. It's actually a show that one of my friends created. I've been a writer producer on the show for the last year and a half or so. And basically the it's an animated series that's now very close to I don't want to jinx it, but very, very close to being produced. And basically the premise is that we all know about Jesus's life when he was an adult. But no, nobody knows what his life was like when he was a kid. So because he's half god and half human, because of the Virgin Mary, whatever, we decided he'd have a human flaw. And this one's close to my heart. So he has a problem with his temper. And the deal is if he doesn't learn to control his temper, then God's not gonna let him take on the responsibility of becoming God. We have a lot of fun and the cartoon version of Bethlehem and yeah, it's great and the Tension between God and Mary. And you know, hey, why don't you call me back and Joseph being like really awkward and uncomfortable like, Hey, God, it's totally cool. I know she's still virgin. Like, we're still buddies. Like, so it's, we had a blast making it and we've got some really amazing people attached to it. So I'm super excited about it.

Jeff Dwoskin 35:19

That sounds really funny. We'll keep an eye out on that. Oh, you were on Fox laughs TV. I was on that. That was fun.

Tamer Kattan 35:28

Yeah, that wasn't my first Ed first TV credit actually was on laughs I remember that. Yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 35:33

me too. It was also my most recent. Oh, cool. Here's

Tamer Kattan 35:37

my Oh, okay. I didn't know it was still I'm like, Oh, wow. It's still on. That's,

Jeff Dwoskin 35:42

that's great. No, no. So you've performed for the troops.

Tamer Kattan 35:47

Yeah. And Afghanistan.

Jeff Dwoskin 35:49

What do you have, like, Man, I'd see pictures and all that kind of stuff. But is it scary? I mean, is like,

Tamer Kattan 35:54

Yeah, very much. So it's, there's definitely a moment where it goes from, okay, this is real. And for me, it was we flew from LA to Turkey to Istanbul. And then in Istanbul, we flew into a town just outside on the Afghani border. And oh, man, it got real, real fast. It was very communist bloc, very Eastern European, and then we got to Afghanistan. And what had happened in Afghanistan is that a lot of Hummers had IEDs going off, so they raise the Hummers be a little higher, so there'll be less damage from improvised explosives. But when they did that, the Hummers would fall over, they'd roll over. So they created this rollover training. And so the day we got there, they put us in a in a machine that looked like a Hummer, and then they would spin us around in circles. So we learned how to take our seatbelts off when we're upside down. And then there's the series of tests you have to pass in order to be approved by the Department of Defense to go into a war zone. And the tests had live real footage of terrorist acts like really intense things. And they'd say things like, if a guy comes in with a bomb into the room, lay down and point your legs towards the terrorist. And then they explained that the reason why they tell you that as because they can replace your legs. And I was like, oh my god, this is very real. Like if a guy comes in with a rifle, you squat, but you don't lay down because the bullets skimmed the floor. So don't lay down, but squat. So it will get your legs but not your head, right and not your torso. So that's the strategy behind a lot of the tools that they teach you is to use your your own legs as a shield. And it was when we got there. It got real real fast. Like even I was on stage one time, we heard gunfire, and in the middle of my set, I stopped, and then also just started laughing. And then this guy yelled out, oh, don't worry. It's like five clicks away. And I'm like, okay, great. And I'm like, But wait, what's a click. And then they explained, it was like a really far distance. But the noise carried in the valley. I mean, we were flying Blackhawk helicopters. It was it was very similar to the episode that Louis did on going to Afghanistan, it was like, eerily similar, actually. But a great experience. I've never felt more more proud. I haven't been like a big yay, troops person before, not for any reason. I just didn't have a lot of friends that were in the military. But then when I got there, I feel like I got a new understanding. I met a lot of people that were great people, people that I wouldn't normally be friends with. And then I became friends with people who normally wouldn't be friends with a guy like me. And I'm really proud of that. Like, I'm really proud that to this day, I still get emails from people I became friends with in Afghanistan, almost six years ago, and I've been going back to military bases or war zones, ever, ever since six years ago. It's almost every year for the last six years.

Jeff Dwoskin 38:45

That's incredible. Thank you for doing that. Thank all, because I know how important it is to maintain the morale of the troops and all that kind of stuff.

Tamer Kattan 38:53

And there's so funny by the way, the average person on a base is hilarious, like the way it shows you how people how people use comedy, and how important it is to get you through your day.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:03

I would imagine that kind of scenario. It's funny what how you describe they hear gunfire like you might hear thunder. Yeah, exactly. So it's almost unnerving that they could like be that calm because of that. Oh, no, no, that's that's storms way.

Tamer Kattan 39:18

Oh man. There was a time where I was performing in an area Afghanistan called Herat. And in Herat, there was a general sitting in the front row. And he would and the guy just had one of these faces that he wouldn't laugh. He would just like he'd hear a joke and just be like it just nod his head, but he wouldn't laugh and I, I did what I do at comedy clubs, or I'm like, I'm like, what is it general? Why aren't you laughing? And I knew that he was a general so I thought it'd be fun for the troops to see me kind of picking on him. So I picked on him a bit and he just like, you know, he kind of smirked a little bit and I teased him a bit and then after the show, he comes up to me, he's like, hey, I want you I apologize. I want you to know I really enjoyed your sketch, which Oh, it really got to me. We call it a sketch. Because I really enjoyed your sketch, you know, very funny, very Smart stuff. I really enjoyed that. Because I just want you to know I, I am a happy person. It's just that, you know, the Base in Afghanistan and Iraq is has one of the best medical facilities because the hospitals outside of the base are not very good. So sometimes local Afghanis bring their children to the base. And before you guys got here, a little boy was bitten by a cobra. And so we had him in the hospital and you know, 15 minutes before you got here, he died. So I'm like, Oh my god. Thanks for making me feel like the biggest piece of shit. I'm giving him shit for not laughing. He's like, Oh, yeah. 20 minutes ago, child died my arms. And wow. Wow, it's heartbreaking. And I met a kid in a PX like a military store. This kid sounded like he was from Brooklyn, probably 10 years old, and walked. He's like, Hey, what's up my G? And I'm like, Man, I looked at him cuz he sounded like a kid in a bodega. You know, and I was just like, he's like, I got Beats headphones. I got necklaces. I've got it. I got DVDs. And I'm like, wait, and I looked at him. Like, where are you from? He's and he goes, I'm from Herat dog. And I'm like, Why do you sound like that? He goes, Oh, man, I've been working here since I was five. And I'm like, Oh, my God, this kid who lives it. Afghanistan has never left Afghanistan. But because 90% of his day is surrounded by soldiers. He picked up he sounds like a kid from Brooklyn. And it was, wow, it was a mind blowing experience to like, this kid could not have been more authentically American,

Jeff Dwoskin 41:29

and sounds like a hell of an entreprenuer, too.

Tamer Kattan 41:32

He was he was a hustler at 11 or 12 years old. He was a hustler.

Jeff Dwoskin 41:37

Right making more money than all you guys.

Tamer Kattan 41:39

I spent all my money that day. On a bunch of patches in the most fake Beats headphones you've ever seen. It?

Jeff Dwoskin 41:48

Beats for two weeks, whatever. feature to ease

Tamer Kattan 41:51

exactly it was like I was wearing what do you call I was like a like a root vegetable on my head. It was nice. But I was it was the first time I was happy to get ripped off. I was I was very proud of the kid and happy to give him my money.

Jeff Dwoskin 42:09

That's so funny. Oh, good for that kid. Wait, so that one other cool. Well, lots of cool things. But one of the other notes Did you win the World Series of comedy? Or is it the World Series? A comedy comedy knockout on true TV? Are those one thing or two things? Those are two things? Okay, two. Okay, so Alright, so you won the World Series of comedy. Yeah, that was

Tamer Kattan 42:29

like my first big thing. My first big flag on the moon surface. It was I just come back from Europe, actually. And I liked the World Series of comedy because it's a year long competition. And if you sign up, you can you're not just competing in one competition, you have three satellite locations you can perform in. And then if you win one of them, you go to Vegas and compete for the final I never went into when I just saw it as a networking opportunity. Instead of club, you know, hoping that a club owner were to click on a YouTube video, they'd see me live. And like we said, in the beginning of the podcast live is a completely different experience than a video, I knew that there was three clubs on those list of satellites that are clubs that I really wanted to perform at one day, and I wanted the Booker's to see me. So I had no intention of trying to win. And I think that's what made me go and really relaxed. And they made a point of World Series A comedy to say, you just need to do a 25 minute set. And you can keep doing the same set, because this is about the prize was winning a year of feature work. So it's just about having a really solid feature length set, you know, just do the same set, no problem strategically. There's nothing wrong with doing that. But for me, I was like, hey, I want to work with these clubs. And I want to headline so at the final. I was like, There's no way I'm going to beat these guys. These guys are they're so good. And I'm just so I'm just going to do a completely different 20 minute set. And that other 20 minutes said did even better than the set I had been doing and then and that's how I ended up winning it. I think

Jeff Dwoskin 43:57

that's awesome. So thanks. It's sometimes if you just get out of your own head

Tamer Kattan 44:01

100% I just I was having a great time. And honestly, some of the other guys, I still remember them. I think it was EBO Brewer was in second place. And a guy named Alex, Alex Rodriguez from San Jose. And you know what it's like when you see other comics like you hear your own jokes all the time. But when you see other comics, you're hearing their jokes for the first time. And I never wanted to stop being a comedy fan. So I never looked at anybody else's like oh f them. My comedy is better than their comedy. I was genuinely blown away by them. I thought they were both really really funny guys. So I just went in and said Just Just have fun because there's no way you're gonna win.

Jeff Dwoskin 44:36

And here we are talking to the winner of the World Series of comedy. You won comedy knockout on true TV.

Tamer Kattan 44:45

Yeah, that was amazing. Yeah. Because I got to actually I was competing against one of my biggest comedy heroes. A woman named Gina Yash Ray who's got a TV show Chuck Lorre sitcom right now called Bob hearts abishola And I won Actually, there's a really great picture that I use whenever I go back to the UK because she's a big star from the UK and nobody knows her. So it's a picture of me holding up the trophy from comedy knockout and she's in the background flipping me off.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:14

So you got the last laugh though there was a spot for a Egyptian male your age.

Tamer Kattan 45:22

I don't know if it was a Casio thing. She's she's a lesbian, Nigerian from England. So she takes a lot of boxes to

Jeff Dwoskin 45:31

the two of you in a room together.

Tamer Kattan 45:34

Oh, yeah. Right. We're like, we take boxes for six people.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:37

It's so funny. That is really cool. So you've done so much. I appreciate you spending all this time with me. It was great to meet you. Thanks

Tamer Kattan 45:44

for having me. It's been great to chat. Great

Jeff Dwoskin 45:45

to get to know you.

Tamer Kattan 45:47

Yeah, you too.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:48

What's the best place for people to kind of keep up with you on the socials?

Tamer Kattan 45:51

I think Instagram is sort of the epicenter of my social media. I do lots of doing experimenting especially now COVID I've been creating like short YouTube videos and all sorts of other stuff but Instagram is like where you can find everything I usually post everything on Instagram and my handle there is Tamer cat. So it's t a M E are like tamer and then que te at Tamer cat Cool.

Jeff Dwoskin 46:17

I'll put it in the show notes. I'll put your website and everything, all that kind of stuff in the show notes. So people can just click click, click and keep up with you. Yeah, that'd

Tamer Kattan 46:23

be great.

Jeff Dwoskin 46:24

You're also great on Twitter. So Oh, thanks,

Tamer Kattan 46:26

man. Yeah, Twitter's Twitter's really fun for me. I love it. It's such a it's such a playground for writers. So I have a lot of fun on Twitter, too.

Jeff Dwoskin 46:33

Well, thank you so much. This thank you so much for having me. You're

Tamer Kattan 46:37

a great host and it was really nice to meet you. Nice to speak to an American

Jeff Dwoskin 46:44

to represent America. Thank you. All right. How awesome was Tamer? I know right? Check out his podcast. go to his website Tamerkattan.com you can get links to everything. Check out his YouTube channel. He's got lots of cool stuff with his wife there and his comedy so much Tamer for you to take in. I'm excited for your journey. I'm excited for your tambor journey. All right, well, with the interview over that going me one thing that's right, it's time for another trending hashtag from the family of hashtags. That hashtag round up, download the free always free hashtag roundup app at the Google Play Store or iTunes App Store. Follow us on Twitter at hashtag Roundup, tweet along with us. And one day one of your tweets may show up in a future episode of Classic conversations, fame and fortune awaits you. All right, today's hashtag is #IfMomsRanTheWorld from Wild Bunch tags hosted by Mr. Res Bannon a amazing weekly Game On hashtag round up #IfMomsRanTheWorld, of course, inspired by Tamer's mom, the real star of his podcast. Apparently, that's his words, not mine. Anyway, so we thought we'd use that as the inspiration. So here are some amazing #IfMomsRanTheWorld tweets, tweet around, tag us at Jeff Dwoskin show on Twitter. We'll show you some Twitter love. But in the meantime, here's some to inspire you #IfMomsRanTheWorld, home economics would be a prerequisite to graduate high school. That would be amazing, actually, then I'd know how to cook and clean and close cupboards. ashtag of moms ran the world nothing would happen until everyone cleaned up their rooms for us clean up that mess. We're not going anywhere. If moms around the world stay at home moms would get paid and they deserve it. Mom's ran the world they'd never that would have been a disinfectant shortage. That's the truth. Bombs ran the world full names would be used more Jeffrey turned on that podcast. If mom's ran the world wars would be fought via the silent treatment. That was me fighting a war that moment of silence. If moms around the world JIFF would be the only peanut butter because as we all know, only choosy mothers choose GIF. If moms ran the world, they'd always have your back. That's true. Mom's always there for you. And our final #IfMomsRanTheWorld tweets, if moms ran the world, there'd be a lot of politicians in the timeout chair. Oh, that's true. Right? #IfMomsRanTheWorld, tweet your own. All these will be retweeted at Jeff Dwoskin show show him some sweat I love and I'm sure they'll show you some love back. All right, well with the hashtag over and the interview over that can only mean one thing. Oh my goodness. Episode 160 has come to an end. I want to thank my special guest, Tamer Kattan. I want to thank all of you for coming back week after week. It means the world to me and I'll see you next time.

CTS Announcer 49:54

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai