#75 Christine Blackburn Is Story Worthy

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Looking to sound like you know what's going on in the world, pop culture, social strategy, comedy and other funny stuff. Well join the club and settle in for the Jeff Dwoskin show. It's not the podcast we deserve. But the podcast we all need with your host, Jeff Dwoskin. All right,

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Alexander, thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You get the show going each and every week and this week was no exception. Welcome, everybody to Episode 75 of live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show. As always, I am your host, Jeff Dwoskin. Great to have you back. Can you believe it? 75 episodes thanks for hanging in there with me for each and every one means the world to me such a milestone and I'm so excited to share it with you.

And I'm also so excited to share with you my guest for this episode. Christine Blackburn. That's right. Comedian, producer, author, podcaster, for over 11 years host of The Amazing podcast Story Worthy over 700 amazing episodes. Christine is here to talk about that and her book and live show story smashed the storytelling game show plus we share tons of amazing stories together.

And we have an extremely spirited debate on Disney World. I was pro /she was con, listen to the episode and let me know afterwards where you fall in your love or dislike or Disney World. So that's exciting. And that's coming up in just a few minutes.

I do want to thank everyone who tunes in Week after week and subscribes to the podcast on their favorite podcast app whether that be goodpods Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, I Heart Radio, Spotify, we're everywhere. Anywhere you love your podcast you can subscribe to live from Detroit to Jeff Dwoskin show you can hit share you can tweet your love for it. You can share the link with your friends tell all your friends your your high school reunion. It's a great conversation starter. Hey, if you listen to the I from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show you should it's the best podcast ever. Blah, blah, blah, you'll be the hit of the entire reunion. People will talk about you for years, go get them kiddo. Also, don't forget to check out my live show every Wednesday 9:30pm Eastern Time crossing the streams look for reboot of that show coming up soon. But it's still gonna always be at Wednesday at 9:30pm. Eastern Time exciting. We now broadcast over the fire side app. That's Mark Cuban's app. So check that out. If you log in at 930 Eastern Time. On Wednesdays, you can listen live and you can come on stage and you can talk about the shows that we're talking about. We've talked about lots of great shows recently we talked about squid game clickbait tons of great shows. So a lot of stuff that's hot right now and a lot of stuff that's in the archives that you can go in and stream that you may not know about. It's a really great show. It answers the question. Hey, what should I be listening to which everyone asked and we made a show just for you. You're welcome.

I hope you had a chance to catch last week's episode with Eric Petersen star of Kevin can f*** himself. Kevin himself was here, Eric Petersen shared tons of great stories I also want to send you to that episode if you haven't heard it yet. Listen to the cool celebrity voices the animation voices that my friend Casey Ryan Plott did for me for the special call in from Shrek and all his fairy tale friends. He's great. And I wanted to thank him again for that.

If you're listening to this, the first few days of its release, I will be at the Motor City Comic Con on October 16. I will be moderating two panels one with Patrick Renna from The Sandlot and David Yost, the blue Power Ranger so get your Comic Con on check me out there if you're in the Metro Detroit area Hope to see you there.

And now it's time for the social media tip All right, this is the part of the show where I share a little bit my social media knowledge with you a little 411 I picked up on the street you know I love Twitter, there's a new feature coming out from Twitter, it's called a Twitter pre tweet warning and they're gonna start rolling this out. Basically it's meant to support healthy conversation. So it'll give you a heads up pop up. If it thinks you're about to be nasty, you know, in a reply to a tweet or something, say hey, you may want to rethink the anger behind what we think this post is about to be and I think they even mentioned in the article playing Janet Jackson song nasty nasty boy, I don't mean a thing. But at that part I might have made up but the reality is they are doing this to try and curb healthier conversations. So if you see that I just wanted to kind of let you know it's always good to not send angry tweets as good as it feels to write it. It never feels as good once you send it, write it and then delete it. Move With your life you'll know you're doing okay if you never see a pop up from Twitter and that's the social media tip.

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Well, I guess the time has come. It's time for me to share my incredible and story where the conversation with Christine Blackburn with you. You're going to love it. Enjoy. All right, everyone. I'm so excited to introduce you to my next guest, comedian, producer. podcaster. Speaker, author, actor, Christine Blackburn. She's done everything. Welcome to the show, Christine. Thanks, Jeff.

How are you?

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I'm good. I'm good.

7:26

You've done so much. You I know you have your podcast story worthy. And as I dig into your life, you've got a million stories so I could see where that has blossomed and became your life journey. You've done so much when someone just says, Hey, Christine, describe yourself in like the elevator pitch. How do you describe yourself? I just rattled off 15 things and left off like a piece.

7:46

Yeah, but you know that most people in Los Angeles do all those things that you could say you can say producer, writer, comedian, and host. Those are all the same thing. You're a producer, comedian, writer and host Are you not?

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I am, but I'm just a Midwest. It's impressive.

8:02

I'm from Pittsburgh. Well, no, but I'm just saying what do you mean everybody has slash slash slash out here? Because you have to have, you know, multiple tools in your kit? as it were.

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Absolutely. No, I hear you. I hear you. All right. Hey, well, we got Christine Blackburn on the show. She's done stuff.

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Oh, there we go. No, I tell people first of all, I tell people I'm a comedian. Because our that's you know, that's where I really want to end up in big theaters, doing shows, you know, I hear like Mark Marin schedule, or I hear anybody schedule and I'm just so envious. It's just incredible to be able to hold an audience's attention for you know, an hour and 10 minutes to headline. I'm so impressed by that. So that's my goal. So I start with comedian, comedian. And then they say things like, if you've been on Jay Leno, you know, because people they just have no frame of reference of what it means to to be in Los Angeles or New York, or wherever you are, you know, and being a comedian, you know, it's never, it's not just a path. It's like, your whole life. You know what I mean? It's not like, Oh, well, you start and then, you know, after two, three years, you pretty much top off and just keep doing that.

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You know, being comedian I haven't I haven't been on stage since before. COVID. But like, you're right. It's it's like a drug. When I started doing comedy. Someone said, No one ever quits comedy, and it's hard. But when you're on stage, and you're getting that feel and that rush, and like, even though it's just like for that short amount of time. It's so amazing. It's so worth it. Anytime you step back offstage after not being on you're like, I got to do this all the time. I need this.

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There's something about when you're on stage, and you get a reaction that you're, I feel like I'm being heard. Like I'm trying to get my point across and when people laugh that's like them saying, I agree. Oh, Okay, now I see how it is. And then I feel appreciate it

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right. I used to be across the board I was very scattered with everything I did comedy wise, I worked with Mary Ellen Hooper once a wonderful comedian. And she pulled me aside and she gave me advice. She's like, just be the frustrated father, get rid of everything else. Don't do just the, you know, the observational stuff, anyone can do that. And he's just, that's who you are. Just focus on it. And I kind of retooled everything I did. And like just work. If I had other jokes, I would rewrite them in a new point of view with that point of view and kind of mash things together, and kind of make it like that. But it was the nicest thing anyone's, you know, when, when you're working with a headliner, and someone does that. And I was able to thank her, like, many, many years later, I had her on my podcast. And I told her because I kept a diary of everything I had done, and specifically the first 10 years of comedy, and I made a book because I wanted my kids to know where I was. Wow. And so I would write down my feelings and like, how, what somebody might have done for me at that point, and so like, I had them on, I'd read it to them, I just read it to them. And yes to the kids, but like, but to that comedian, as a sort of a thank you. Like, I read it to Mary Allen, I said, This is what I wrote, I wrote this, when we work together, you know, I did for Ted alexandro. And like a bunch of people, you know, it was just, it was nice, it was a nice kind of endcap to like, you know, the story of just how people can touch your lives. Because when people just say one little thing to you positive or negative, right? Yeah, it can send you in a whole different path.

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Well, and especially when it comes to comedy, I would love somebody to tell me that because I feel scattered all the time on stage. Because I have done a lot. And sometimes when I think of my life, it's almost like, No fucking way. You know, like, no, there's no way you know, if you somebody, you pitch this movie to somebody, and you said, all these things went down. And she did all these things. You'd say like, that's a little much. So it's hard to keep it tight on stage and know which direction to go. So the fact that Mary Ellen gave you that suggestion, you know, it's very inside baseball, it's personal, you know, and to give a comedian a suggestion like that, and to be so sure of yourself, but you know, she probably right.

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But it's hard for me as being a comedian for her to say, don't do that, Joe, I know that Joe gets X amount of laughs don't do it ever again, not because it's not a good joke. It's just you have to move beyond that you have to create a different kind of narrative to get people to connect to you. I dated a

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guy who was pretty famous, and he was performing on a cruise ship, and I was with him. And he did a really, in poor taste joke. He was in the end, we broke up because I found out he was Republican. So I can just say that, but the joke was about Caitlyn Jenner. And this is like, while she was going through her, whatever her changes. And I'm not a fan of her by any means. But he put her up like a joke on the screen. She's huge screen on a cruise ship, you know, it's a big theater, you know, 1000 people in the theater. And he puts this joke up of her in front of her like, do you want this, you know, in the future, and like this odd picture of her. And afterward, backstage, I said, you know, we were like there was tension in the room. As soon as I walked in, I could feel tension. We're in the dressing room, we just came up stage, there's practically still applause. And my energy comes in the room. And he's like, what? Now I'm doing his accent, you're gonna start figuring out who I'm talking about. I said, You can't do that joke about Caitlyn Jenner. That is so inappropriate that you know, that's really racist or or homophobe. It's something it's not good. And he goes, did you hear the laughter? You replace that joke, and I'll replace it. But until then it gets a laugh.

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I never really was comfortable with it was that you can you can joke. You can say anything just because you're on stage. I just there's a certain decency to humanity and being a human being grow.

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I mean, what about where are your like, I don't know if it's morals or ethics, but it's like deep inside you. Why would you try to spew hate in any way

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when you're attacking someone else on stage? It's always best to like, you know, self deprecating. You have to be the buddy or joke or, you know, it's like, Are you making fun of a homeless guy? Wait, what are you doing?

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Yeah, well, you can make fun of super rich people. Because we all want to pull them down. But it's such a fine line. I don't want to me it's not a fine line. But I don't know how it is to some people. It's like, anytime somebody feels that strongly about something so stupid. That's something else. You know what I mean? There's something else going on. It can't be that it's to nothing, you know?

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Yeah, absolutely. It's if you have to get a laugh for that. Then you really got to kind of look at yourself and kind of like, it's just you got to be able to sleep at night as well. So Alright, so being a comment. I watched one of your clips I and when he said it. It was at the Gotham comedy club. Excellent job. It was funny because I think you were talking about dating a Jewish guy, and you're like, that makes me a shithead. And but in my I had because I you know, if you're Jewish in the audience, you know, and you fill in shiksa right? I love jokes like that, where it's just like this is for a certain person, you're gonna get one layer of a joke, but I'm gonna go a different way. Yeah, it's funny. It's funny, it's good stuff. Let's talk about your podcast and then kind of work backwards I just want to mention up front that we can work backwards and then work back towards it. So 11 years story where they 680 episodes, I listen to your podcast, and it's hard as a podcaster to listen to other people's podcasts just because really well no, I mean, not hard to listen, I mean, it's hard to find time to like just listen to there's limited time because I'm always working on my podcast I feel like anyway I find time for you. That's my point. And Oh, good. I like your pockets because it's very you can go back and listen any episode really anytime? Yeah, and that's kind of the idea right? It's like and I tried to do that with mine as well. The only nine evergreen pieces you'll talk which in the end is is impressive. You'd be like oh we're on episode 300 we're on episode six. You kind of get that settled thing is like Hey, you got a lot to catch up on. Yeah, yeah, I can imagine that you landed on story where the as you kind of examine your life or anyone examines your life you've got so many stories you've got more stories than I think the average Where's your like a lot of people think they're interesting. Christine Blackburn is the real deal you have a book I read your book PIT to LAX

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LAX

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It's just LAX it just

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cuz I was a flight attendant and those are city codes and you know people call certain airlines you know like you might get called JFK JFK then you might call LAX well I guess you call it LAX but PIT for some reason you just say pit, I don't know i'm not sure who made up the city codes

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right I would just I your flights and I just didn't want I said it wrong I didn't want I wanted to be cool I just said but I didn't know if it was just pettalia x my story where they live it's a fun read. You're an interesting writer because it's like you're great writer by the way I enjoy all the stories they kind of like a twist sometimes where I felt guilty about like like you're talking about seeing a boy and meeting a boy and then it ends with the sexual assault because I thought it was like a cute story and then it ends it takes a real twist and a lot of your stories kind of take a twist like that as well which I find fascinating but it's just that's life I know it's life I'm just saying but you It's great. I'm just I'm just saying it was it was great reading because like the emotions switched on a dime and as you're as you're reading your story, so I love your style. Yeah, maybe like a style.

17:34

I've always been an optimist, but then in the end, you get shit on that. I don't know why that is in life. But that's you know, but then I keep going back for more.

17:43

I don't know. You have to be an optimist, but you have

17:47

well not necessarily a lot of people aren't.

17:49

That's true. Okay. tons of great stories in your book. The one question I had for you in general is what's your current relationship with Burger King chocolate shakes.

18:03

I haven't been to a fast food restaurant well outside of and Out Burger. I go to N Out Burger about four times a year. But other than that, like it doesn't even occur to me to go to fast food so I never I never go to fast food when I was pregnant. I did treat myself to chocolate milkshakes, but I would go to health supplies where they put like some of the shake remains in the silver metal container journey means you got the milkshake in the soda cup and then so it's the bright cup it's glass with you know the whole deal and then you get that extra part so I will treat myself to that now and then. But yeah, growing up it was all about chocolate milkshake. Burger King. We only had Burger King. Did you have fast food growing up? You did?

18:43

Yes. We Yeah, we had fast food growing up and probably ate it more than we should have when I was doing comedy probably gain ridiculous amount of weight because after the shows I would go to Burger King or McDonald's fast. You know the drive thru because I was starving. After hours of being on stage and or you know, just being at the club. I haven't had it's probably I finally gave that up. But it's been about 10 years. I remember the kids growing up, we tried to limit them. And then one day we were watching that what was a documentary. We ate McDonald's for

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30 days. Yeah, that was gross. Morgan Spurlock

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and we're watching it and I remember the kid's face. They see us watching and they watch some of it and they're like, you're not gonna let us eat McDonald's anymore, are you and they stormed off. It was kind of funny, but eventually they stopped doing it some I did something right. I how many kids do have I have two daughters. Oh how nice 22 and 19

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Oh, wow, that's so interesting. So they're pretty much grown.

19:38

We're empty nesters. You have one daughter, right? That's so

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interesting. Yeah, she's 14

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I love having girls.

19:44

Yeah, me too.

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It was my everyone's always like, Do you wish you had a boy and like nope, not at all. I mean, I did fail. My kids don't like Star Wars or anything that I like. My

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daughter loves Star Wars. I don't know what that's all about. Sometimes I worry about my daughter because When I was 14 I was already smoking weed I was already taken pills whatever I could find I was already stupid but this girl My daughter she's so bright and I've been able to keep her as it were a little bit young because there's always somebody with her she's not alone she's not abandoned. And when I worry though about drugs or boys or whatever I am comforted that she just wants another Star Wars lightsaber that's really all she wants. And she already has to

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we got the kids into Disney World they love Disney World that's like my favorite thing is going to Disney World and so we we did that with the kids it's funny it's funny because so we took the kids to Disney World growing up we'd go every every so often and then they got really into Harry Potter so we switch and probably for like a 68 year period we went to Universal and which is amazing was universal but then we go back to Disney World so now we're going back to Disney World it's probably been 10 years since we went to Disney World with this is probably our third or fourth trek we set up the same exact trip that we always did we the same dinner as the same things and like we go to this thing, one of the character dinners and we're sitting there and the characters start coming out and my wife and I look at each other and we're like what the fuck are we doing? Yeah, these kids are now 18 we in our head though they were still 10 it just all of a sudden like just in one moment. We realize our kids have grown up and we're like what the hell are we doing at the same time just goes by

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and I was gonna ask you What did you like about disney world?

21:36

I love everything about Disney World I I remember going with my parents I remember my grandparents taking me there's just something when I'm there I just feel great it's and there's like everything to me is has some kind of nostalgic feel to it that I don't get when I'm a universal I enjoy universal but it's not like every five feet I'm taking a picture it's something a universal I don't know just something about Disney World I just I just love it. Just love it. I don't know I'm weird I know some people hate it Some people love it. I

22:06

do Yeah, I did. Yeah. biting my tongue No it's

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okay no it's just you know everyone's got their thing you know i mean so

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yeah, but my daughter's father and I neither of us are Disney fans like of any sort whatsoever and we kept her not away from it but we never we didn't buy any the DVDs it wasn't on TV there were no princesses for Christ's sakes. I mean I never ever brought up any of that shit like I just was so opposed to it and I brought her up more like on the peanuts and Charlie Brown and the Simpsons and what I think is clever and funny and it worked so all the way 1-234-567-8910 about 11 and then some shit comes out called Aladdin or something and I had to go see it with and then all of a sudden she's just took off on this frickin Disney path and I just I just I'm so sorry i just i i get my stomach turns when I think of any of it the characters when you said you're eating and they're coming over to you I would have frickin run with my hands over my head for the hills that's frightening no it's not frightening

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i love it i look at I can accept that we're different in this way okay well respect this isn't this isn't like deal breakers or reaction you would get if you're a democrat talking to a republican or something. When I tell you I'm the exact opposite we there was an area in Disney World where I found out you could meet Jimney cricket Jimmy cricket Jiminy Cricket out the annoyed and took the train. And when I tell you I sprinted. I mean I'm like George in that episode of Seinfeld, where I'm knocking people over, you know, when there's a fire in the place I to get in line to meet these characters. My kids, they all make fun of me. And like, actually, the last trip we went to they're like, yeah, we're not as much into that anymore. Dad. I'm like, you're like I bet my time. I just so

24:03

funny. Well, listen, no, I know people that are into it. Like a couple of my friends. Well, a lot of my friends are into it, even at my age. And the last time I went, which was just like five months ago, my buddy less you know, the father of the other child we're with. He's my buddy less. I've known for 24 years. We're in the gift shop. He's taking photos and I say, What do you take photos of and he says reference reference. Yeah, I'm just like, Oh, okay. No, it's not a cult. But Jeff, it's a cult.

24:35

It is I don't I'm not gonna I wouldn't even try to convince you that it's not a cult it is. It's just I'm all in on it.

24:43

Yeah, one of my ex boyfriends. He might Gandalf he, he's a writer here in LA. She married in Disney World. I'm like, oh my god we dated. It never came up.

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I am not to that level. I've always I've always found that like My level of fandom for anything is probably 30% of anyone who's off the charts of fandom. Like I was a huge fan of monkeys I still am I love the monkeys. And so I met Mike Nesmith at a comic con and I'm thinking myself I love the Monkees, Mike Nesmith like his comedy like his voice in my favorite my favorite and I'm thinking myself I'm a big fan. I'm such a fan. I'm about to spend $100 just to get his autograph on my headquarters

25:27

Li I was more of a Peter Tork kind of guy I wanted

25:31

to meet him I went to the Comic Con that he was at had Stan Lee and Norman read us from The Walking Dead at the same time it took us four hours to even get close. And we couldn't even get in there was like and then and when he passed away I was like, Ah, so I didn't I never got it. That was my iPad. I was gonna have him sign you blew it. My point is like I'm standing in line is Mike Nesmith fans that are like through the roof. They've got 50 thing pictures and an art pieces and like things and they're spending $700 to have them sign seven things. I'm thinking myself. Oh, man.

26:05

That's neat, though.

26:06

I enjoy things, but I don't go but Disney is probably the closest the closest, but I'm sorry if that tore us apart.

26:16

I guess I'm just cynical. I'm just I'm just very cynical.

26:20

I don't know. It's just something I think it's when I have memories of the entire family going. I can picture I know this is gonna sound dumb, but like when we bumped in like I see Tweedledee and Tweedledum later. It's like I get an emotional reaction just because when I was a kid, they bear hug my mom is like this. This memory. I know it just Alright, I guess I'm gonna stop though. Maybe I'll get Disney as a sponsor. No, just kidding. They wouldn't give money to anyone. When we go though, we had like, strict rules, right? I mean, it was like the kids get you get one hat. And you can buy one thing. Oh, so

26:54

it's only $400 a kid. Right? Exactly. All right, like the free refills at Disney World are 599.

27:02

Exactly. All right. Let's talk about you moth story when are three times so let's hear some stories from you. What? That's that's pretty impressive as well. No,

27:12

it's not to win.

27:14

I mean, like, I

27:15

know. But listen, here's what people don't understand about the moth. Okay, first of all, they're starting with the premise that anybody can tell a story. Sure, but not that many. Tell them well, okay. So when you go to a mall, there's 10 people that are going to perform, and then there'll be 10 moths, and each one there's a winner each night, and then those 10 people perform and then you win the grand slam as it were. But the thing is, is like the judges at the mob are regular people. They're just people in the audience, like, the host goes around and says, Hey, you guys want to be judges? Okay, cool. You guys want to be judges? Okay, cool. So there's no frame of reference to who wins and who doesn't. You need to understand that I've heard the best stories ever told the mob, but then somebody goes up after that person and they're in a wheelchair, or they talk about falling out of a tree or surviving cancer, and then they win no matter what. In other words, it's not the best. So if you win a night, it doesn't mean you were the best one. It just means that that's what the judges felt. I mean, it's more than subjective. It's more than subjective. It's it's not even close to reality. You

28:21

will not let me give you a compliment. That is the theme of this episode so far

28:27

off, but I'm just saying it doesn't mean anything. I mean, it's okay. You might be good, but it means

28:33

you're a good storyteller means you got on stage, you moved people, and they said you were awesome.

28:38

Yeah, sure. Thanks. Okay. Thank you. Come on. I've done the radio show a few times, too. I mean, I don't do the radio show. They pull the stories and they plug them in. And my story's been played a few times. And that's fun. That's cool.

28:53

That's awesome. Oh, I'm sorry, man. Oh, what's what why is that a big deal? Why is that?

29:01

Okay. I don't know. I mean, money, there's no money associated with the math and you know, like, if they would call me and say like, you know, you want the month a few times, we think you're great. Why don't you come and emcee something that I'd be excited, but they're not it's in it's a huge nonprofit. It's a big, big industry now and they are doing great stuff. So they're

29:21

okay. Alright, new topic. Let's talk about your commercials that you done because I watched your commercial real and I think I could watch those commercial rails like 100 times in a row those ways it's so funny, right? I mean, the pancake machine which I actually want to get some of the classics is the weekly pill sorter and organizer cooling gel pads, church of Latter Day Saints power of a heck, I wanted to know what you were talking to john travolta about that he got up in one way

29:49

about no he was mad because his hair you know, there was a there was a spot on his head. That was when he was always painting his head and you know, he had like two hairstylist him that night. So it was like three in the morning. First of all, we shot my call time was at 2am at sunset Gower studios to interview john travolta for his new movie called ladder 49. This is like 2005 This is a while ago but anyway, so I met at 3am sunset Gower studios or 2am and then the call time the call time was two and we started shooting at three and that is I learned later that he keeps the hours like l Ron Hubbard kept in the Scientology organization. He was always up all night so john travolta also kept those hours. By the way, I parked next to john Travolta's car and I had like a Subaru and his car was I can't remember the exact car I shouldn't make it up but it was a really nice sports car and I knew it was his because I think there was even Travolta on it or something was Travolta and I took a picture of our cars together he we would be chatting with each other and then he would want to look in the monitor and then he would say to the the hair girls or the makeup girls he did see that See that? There's a little shine right there. See, I know what I'm looking at. I know what I'm looking for. You know, and this is all about his hair. It was really important on but he was sweetest guy ever great guy. And I got to see him change his shirt a few times. And that was pretty exciting. Awesome. It's 20 years ago Jeff

31:15

20 year ago john travolta shirtless that would be definitely worth saying I was a highlight Yeah, I'll

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tell you that

31:22

I peed next to Eric Roberts once at a Comic Con.

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Let's see There you go. No comes around.

31:28

It's little things that matter in life.

31:30

Yeah, I thought you might say you saw Jiminy crickets you know pee pee or something?

31:34

No, no, no, but I'm not saying I wouldn't have tried but it wasn't an option.

31:40

Do the Disney characters have genitalia?

31:43

No and I tell you here's the funny thing which will not win you over on Disney at all. Is my kids were into little princesses which Sophia the First was the princess and yeah, like that one. Okay, okay, so at Disney World in that area my daughter was really into Sophia the First so this character unlike a snow white or something where it's an actual woman in the snow white is this is a character meaning like the head was the character right? It wasn't a young woman pretending to be Sophia the First so I turn to the handler shouldn't have done it. But I turned to the handler and I said question Why is Sophia the First princess have the head but the other princesses don't and she looks at me says Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about.

32:33

You know, that's so funny. Okay, now let's go all the way back to 30 years ago, I dated a guy who worked at Disney World the big one in Florida right? And he was working so much I don't know if you knew about the way Disney used to handle their employees or the way they still do. I've done two commercials for Disney By the way, always non union they don't pay for shit man, Disney's The cheapest place you're ever going to work. So but I am dating this guy. He's in the hospitality Center at Disney World. He had to shave his beard he had to cut his hair. He had to you know, they're very, very, very specific. No earrings, no tattoos, all this stuff. And even though he had worked like 10 days straight or whatever, it's the holidays, and he can't get off. And so I'm by myself in Disney World for three flippin days, Disney World. And Epcot. And I'm walking around and I am astounded by how clean it is. It's true. I mean, it's a remarkably clean Park. And I say to some woman, you know some you know, person who worked there in the park sanitation I said, it's so clean. Where's all the trash go? And she says, There is no trash in the kingdom. You see, Jeff, you see where the inner the anger comes from? I just wanted to push her in the lake.

33:48

Right? I think you're repelled by what maybe draws me to it, which is the full perfection of what they're trying to pull off there. I tell you though, like the last time I went, I tried to do the under underground tour that they have, you know, everything that Disney World is built like 10 feet off the ground. And so everything all the tunnels underneath and everything like that, and they wouldn't let us because my dog had to be 16 my daughter was going to be 16 in like a month. But they wouldn't not not do it. But I'll tell you what I did do and this I don't know I feel like I'm just these Disney confessions. I've never talked to the but i and i know like when you over i know i just like I'm just gonna make Christina hate me even more about this Disney stuff. So we're going to Disney World and my dad had just died. And so I have a little extra cash. And so we're going to Disney World and I'm like, you know what we're gonna do we're gonna do that flippin VIP tour. We're gonna go like a fucking King to Disney World. And so my cousin's happened to be there at the same time, and it was the same price for up to 10 people. So I'm like, hey, do you want to do it? He's like, hell yeah, because he loves Disney just like I do. And probably for the same reasons because as a kid, we would all go together. When I tell you we spent 1012 hours straight and we hit all four parks, they would drive us from park to park, we'd literally would pull up walk into soaring like literally like not parking lots, then they would check as in the avatar rides were a huge deal at the time. We get there at 8am at 810. We're walking by a thought we said we did both avatar rides. We walk by 1000 people, no less than 1000 people waiting to get into these avatar rides. It's easily a four hour wait, we did it in the first 10 minutes of the park. I turn to my kids and I say, don't let anyone tell you money can't buy happiness. And I just kept walking. I was just like, it was It's horrible. I know it's

35:43

Disney's theme. money can buy you happiness. Yes. Yeah, Disney the happiest place on earth. If you have an awful lot of money.

35:51

The next day in our hotel, I get a little certificate under the door. world traveler you get I didn't even know that that was a thing. But apparently, if you go to all four parks in one day, you get a certificate.

36:06

And then a princess comes and blows you or what I mean, when's the good news?

36:10

When's the good seat? This is where that we are diametrically opposed on this phone. Yeah, that was the good news. I got a certificate, Chris.

36:23

Wow, interesting.

36:25

I know. I know.

36:26

Well, I only live like two blocks from Nelson's market. And there is a bar in the store in Garrison's market. It's a wine bar and you can sit there at night and watch Jeopardy in the grocery store. So it's all the bright fluorescent lights and you're at the bar, and you can even sip and shop where you'll drink and they'll shop for you and bring your groceries right over the bar for you. But anyway, that was Walt Disney's original studio. So I am drinking in Walt Disney's original studio. And you know, all of his bungalows, the Disney bungalows are right beside me and his original home is very close to me. Yeah, doesn't even I don't think twice about it. I just order a beer.

37:07

While Disney may not even have like Jews, and I'm still willing to look past that.

37:12

Yeah, right. There was so many racist terrible things. Oh my gosh. But yeah, that's not just him. That was the time etc. Exactly. Okay, well, this has been fun. Welcome to Disney talk with Jeff and Christine. Every week we talk about Disney, the minuses, the pluses, the hatred and the love.

37:31

Next week, we go deep into dough web, where can you get it? And is it worth it?

37:38

It's a small world, unless you want to murder someone in the middle of the leg.

37:45

Okay, so we could talk about something else. Let's talk about you being a flight attendant. Because that was interesting. And I tell you the most this specific thing in your book the story you talk about one of the passengers dying on the flight and then you had to go into a whole Weekend at Bernie's thing to put on a whole kind of Girod for the rest of the passengers is that like just standard when someone dies on a plane?

38:08

Yeah, yeah, you don't you don't make any note of it. In this case there was a nurse with a guy so again, it was like confirmed he was dead it wasn't like is there a doctor on the plane? Can we help this man it wasn't that the man died so what's the point in putting an announcement on you know Hey guys, you know Ladies and gentlemen, just to inform you there's a dead man and five seat you know what I mean? So you know you don't say anything, you put a blanket on them and another you know, just up to their neck and then you put an oxygen mask around there knows how to adjust elastic band around their head and you just, you know, pretend right? Did you want something to eat? Oh, I'll be right back. You know, are you comfortable? Okay, just check him

38:47

take off his glasses if he's wearing glasses and he notices Hey, that's weird. He's wearing a mask and his glasses aren't fogging.

38:55

Now you just take a big old mask and put it all the way over their face I suppose.

38:59

It's so funny but as you were telling that story I was just like man, the best part was you had to take them off the plane first.

39:06

I know it was so stupid I kept thinking let's just get all the passengers off. You know when the door opens you just want it to like you want people to just like when you're popping if you pop a balloon and the water just flies out that's what you want to happen when the door opens of a plane we all feel it it's all just like move Get the fuck out you know everybody wants out that's what I thought we would do just get everybody out and then we have all the time in the world to get the dead guy off. I was you know flying in the a position the lead position and I you know we tax the end of the gate I opened the door they pull up the jetway kind of connects and then that little hose thing goes over the top. Sometimes you know who you know make it look like a straight hallway off the plane. And then there were two paramedics there with a straight back chair, you know in the straight back chair is the one that doesn't have any arms or anything so that it can go all the way back down the aisle. And they just wheeled it on and then they did the whole shebang Everybody had a way Do they put this dead man in on the shape back chair they fasten the straps around and with velcro you know and they kept going okay and then they Dolly them off you know it's almost like a dolly and okay let's get going Mr. Klein all right great. You're doing great thank you okay bye take care of come back soon system and they took him off and then everybody else got off

40:23

that's fine because you're right though that second a plane lands everyone just wants to get the hell off and you logically I totally understand your point of view. They let the people with the wheelchairs on first and then they're the last ones off

40:35

right should be but the wheelchair people always jump up and try to get off and that's very frustrating

40:40

you think if you want it to empty a plane quickly you just go our attention everybody we just landed in LAX by the way Mr. Klein and five C is dead. You think they that would just empty that plane faster, though, and the bags are

40:53

dead. Yeah, jumping down the side

40:57

seems like a missed opportunity.

40:58

I live in Burbank, California, they they do board and D plane with two doors, the front in the back, you know, they take air stairs up to both both the front the back of the plane. And that's very nice way to board and the plane.

41:11

That is nice, then you don't have that elitist thing where everyone in the front is getting off first paid more. I know that, right? Because there is nothing more stressful than being kind of stuck in the middle of a plane and you have to like catch another flight or something like that. You have to like run to it because no one's gonna let you off. Well,

41:27

I was always cool about that. Look, it's okay, listen, folks, the people on the way to Charlotte have a really tight connection. Could you just stay seated until these 12 people went off to Charlotte, could you do that? Like I tried to be very real with people. But other flight attendants weren't your other flesh. So you know, it was just like I was never in a sorority. I've never been a clicky girl. And it was kind of like that. And I just was not a part of that world. Like I would give everybody two packs of peanuts. And you'd hear a flight attendant saying, Oh no, you can't give out two packs of peanuts because we don't have enough for everybody to go around. You can only about one pack of peanuts. And I'm like, why don't we give out two packs, we run out and then we'll give up. You know, who cares? No, no, no one pack per passenger. You can't one pack per passenger. Who cares? You know, just like I always felt like nobody wants to be there. Nobody wants to be on the plane. Nobody wants to be working. I think the pilots often like to be there because those guys are like, you know, they're flying nerds is what they are women and men they'd like to fly. But other than the pilots, nobody wants to be there

42:29

flying always when I worked at certain places where I would fly frequently but not like not like I was flying three times a week or something I was always petrified of of dying on a plane like it was I don't know why I just it was just the fear. So like, I remember going to Denver once for some reason. I think Denver coming into Denver always had the worst turbulence and like I always would be like I'm about this is the end. This is where I say goodbye. And like I would always have like certain things I would keep an eye on the flight attendants. If they seem calm. I was called I would have a glass I didn't keep a water my thing and if it wasn't spilling I felt like I was you know, the little Jurassic Park deciem boom, you know, I know it's just crazy. Eventually I got much calmer about it. It was always I was just like wow the and then you look at the 510s by the you guys are flying like it's nothing and it's like it's still in my brain I couldn't I couldn't wrap my head around it.

43:20

Were you afraid of who was flying the plane? Or did you not trust the pilots? Did you think it was Pluto and Goofy your friends?

43:28

You know, that was just mean that was just mean Christine? No, I have no No, no, no, no, I had no, there was no literal fear of anyone's qualifications for who's doing what? Otherwise I don't think I would have even been able to get on the plane. It was just the literal randomness of I had a friend once who was supposed to be on a plane that crashed they didn't end up on that plane. I mean, I think you tell the story to where an engine blew in the book, right? I was just been like, Oh my god, and you know, just petrified, like, the whole time the whole time it was it just those are the things that go through my head. It's funny if I were actually with other family members, if I went traveling with my family, I was much more at ease. Maybe it was more of this the idea of like if we're all gonna go we're gonna go and as opposed to like, leaving them behind, or them being to go on without me or something. I don't know. It's just there was just some weird plane issues I have and you're not helping with them at all, especially with the pilot, especially with the pilot crack.

44:26

Sorry, I I guess it's like a matter of control. Really? Right. So you're afraid because you don't feel any control in this situation?

44:33

That could be Yeah, you know, I don't think I have a fear of flying like some people have a fear of flying. It was just, it was just a slight irrational. I need to get through this ticket.

44:42

So let's say let's say you were going to go skydiving, like tandem with another you know, you're with a professional skydiver. Do you want to go with a guy who's had 4000 jumps or the guy who's had like 200 jumps.

44:54

Oh, again, I totally trust the pilot. I know that. So I'm asking you the 4000 jumps Of course,

45:00

oh yeah. But now he's more likely to get in a one accident.

45:03

Oh, you're messing with my brain. I totally get that. You're right. It's it's funny because it's like, you're right. It's like, it's always like if something happens. I was going to Israel when I was a teenager and the whole pan-am plane. Oh, yeah, the Lockerbie, Scotland, so my parents weren't going to send but someone's like, well, now it's probably one of the better times to go, because it already happened. Yeah, like Alright, so I did end up going and like, this is Europe. My weird philosophy on traveling is if I'm gonna die traveling, I want it to be on the way back. Like, to me, it's like nothing would be more tragic than dying on the way to a vacation to vacation. How many back would be like, okay, because at least you had the vacation.

45:45

And if you're in another country, it's a real hassle with the body and everything. I don't want to die on vacation. It's a real hassle to get the body back to the the country it belongs to. It's not quick. And in the Jewish faith, you're supposed to be buried within 24 hours, right?

45:59

Yeah. So I think within like,

46:03

let's say you're in Paris, and you die. What happens? Well,

46:06

my dad died on vacation, but it was in New York. And it was you just you have to delay it. So you don't get in trouble if you delay it. No, I mean, it's that's what they want to do. Just because they don't believe in the whole modeling of it. It's just kind of, you know, move through the process. But if it's something like my dad was on vacation, died in New York, we had to arrange to have him flown back. What happened. My dad was one of those people that was the healthiest people in the world. Never sick. had one thing wrong with them goes to New York, he sees Hamilton the originally. This is when you when you saw Hamilton and most people hadn't seen Hamilton. Oh, yeah. So it was a big deal at the time that when he saw Hamilton turned out one of his patients, his son was one of the investors so they got really good seats. So they had saw Hamilton, I think the next day there may be seeing waitress or something, don't quote me, I love that. He's not feeling well. They go back to the hospital, and the hotel, the hotel, they go back to the hotel, they can't get him in till much later. Then he finally goes in. He codes a couple times. He basically was like, I think was pancreatitis, and something like that. It was it was really weird. Because like the next day, I talked to him at 11am like, and then later the doctor called and said, You have to come You know, we revived him twice, but you have to come but you're not going to make it. And so I was like, Why? Because I played with my head because I'm like now you just told me you revived and twice. This is how it works on TV. When you get revived you live it goes now when the reality of that is when the body goes through something like that. It's pretty much over. So we flew to New York, it was weird, because when we landed all the all the people knew he had died already, but we didn't because we were on air. And it was weird, because they're like, when was the last time you talked to your dad. I'm like, I don't remember. I think I saw him. I saw him before he left. And my wife's like you talked to him this morning. Like it was must have been so traumatic that I just completely blocked it up. So I ended up I remember doing I did the eulogy. And so I wasn't I'm not like I hate eulogies where they talk about generic stories. And you know, like, it's like, it could be anyone. So I wrote a stand up comedian, my dad was always very supportive of me. And so I wrote what I would want to be a eulogy. And, and part of it was like, just talking about Hamilton. And I remember cuz it was a big deal. It was a really big deal. And he was excited to have seen it. And anyway, so I'm kind of going down that weird path here. But the I remember arguing with the hospital, they were charging me like this fortune to have him be there. And I'm like, all he did was die. They're like, I don't want to give you 1500.

48:26

Yeah. How old was he? And how did he die?

48:30

It was 72. I'm thinking I'm thinking it was. That's very young. Yeah. And about five years ago, five years ago, so sorry, it was pancreatitis, or something? I don't know. I don't know why I can't remember. But he didn't

48:44

know anything about it. Nope. I'm so sorry. Was he with your mom, my son? How'd she do? How'd she do through the rest of that? And how, how is she now?

48:53

Well, she passed away a year ago, she managed through a pretty, you know pretty well. So you know, it was it was hard. But we all flew out there to be with her. Sure. You know, and so you know, the doctors. And so we were with her and kind of you know, we saved the night we all flew back together the next day and

49:10

he didn't bury him in New York. Right? You took them back.

49:11

We flew back to Michigan and he was buried next to my mom in Michigan.

49:17

Wow. sorry to hear that. That's so premature. Yeah, yeah.

49:20

came out. It was it was Yeah, it was just one of those things like he literally had never been sick and then boom, you know, one little thing can go and detect it and kind of just everyone do your healthy checkups.

49:32

Yeah, no kidding. It's so frustrating when people that have the cancers that are preventable in terms of their slow moving so colon cancer, breast cancer, prostate cancer, these are very, very slow moving cancers that if you catch them and you get what you know the testing you're supposed to get when you're supposed to get it. No problemo. No problem, really,

49:54

my brother's a survivor. So my so are you Yes, let's pivot to that story.

50:00

I know we're gonna have to do part two. Right?

50:03

You're right. We're totally at the end. Yes. You're a cancer survivor. He's a cancer your,

50:07

your brother, what was his? What was his alma testicular cancer?

50:11

Okay, can that be tested for you? No, it's one of those things where it's usually like, you have to be smart enough to catch that you're having pains and go to the doctor. You can't ignore it. Right? You can't ignore it. So you spent a lot of time with me and I do thank you for that. I'll have you back and we'll we'll have

50:28

no I'm fascinated by hearing where you're from, where you know where you're coming from and your past it's so much it's so interesting what you can learn about somebody so quickly. You know, like if I got you pegged for outside of Detroit, you know, you're married to kids parents passed away. Like it just it's a lot. You know, it's, I'm just saying like, that's the power of podcasting, not to preach it out. But I'm just saying like, there is an intimacy in podcasting, where it's like, oh, yeah, I know that guy. Now. I know that guy, as it were.

50:57

It is nice. Yeah, it is the power of podcasting. It's an excellent medium just to get people to kind of slow burn No, you over time. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't even notice the time because you've been so delightful to talk to. And I do appreciate all the Disney ribbing. Don't worry about that. That's all good. And maybe I wasn't worried.

51:14

I want to show you something real quick. Hang on. Right here in me. Look, my daughter Skylar sister dress.

51:22

Oh, that's great. That's awesome. Is she gonna play or does just go is one of the characters for something?

51:27

No, my daughter just she loves Hamilton as well. She loves musical theater. She wanted the costume of Angelica so I bought it for her twice because as you know, kids grow very fast. Yes, of course, she grew out of the first dress quickly. And then the second dress even quicker, you know, I can resell them or whatever, but also, you know, and they were like $100 dresses, but the thing is, is like, are you gonna get your kid $100 game or electronic or whatever? Or do you want to give them like $100 like costume. It's like play it's like imagination. It's like a real deal as she puts it on and she becomes a different person or she does whatever. I would always rather put money there. Even when she was even smaller and wanted an American Girl doll those dolls are like 120 bucks, but I'd rather play with a doll than give her $100 in electronic toys. To me parenting was always about well first of all parenting her the way I wish I was that's the main reason

52:30

well that is beautiful and I agree with you give them something to be creative. And that just blossoms and leads to many many other cool things. Yeah, this time just flew by. Let me just mention a few things for you. Everyone can check you out on story worthy that's your podcast in its 11th year, so many amazing podcasts. Christina is amazing at interviewing people and then all of her guests share an amazing story so it's it's a really, really interesting podcast story where they and then you do story smash

53:01

story smash is called story smash the storytelling Game Show. And it's a live show. We play the improv every month, we're back at the improv. We have shows going on all fall, generally the last Saturday of the month at the Hollywood improv at 730. And stories smash is it's just an incredible game show that I've been doing for about 10 years. I'm dying to get it on television. I'm dying to get the home version out and then even the children's version. But basically there's a wheel with 16 spaces, the contestants go up and they spin the wheel. Whatever space they land on, there's a word or subject and then the subject might be vacation or mom or birthdays or school days. And you have to tell a one or two minute story based on that topic. So in one minute, tell me about your birthday or whatever, whatever the topic is. It could be virginity. It could be car accidents, it could be hospitals, it could be insurance, and you tell me a story on the spot in one minute. Then when your story's over. I have three judges and I call them expert judges in quotes and these are really very, very talented comedians including I'll have like blank patch or Peter Melman, writer Peter Melman from Seinfeld or writer Danny Zucker from modern family, Melissa Peterman, Marilyn rice cub, Wayne Fetterman. Jimmy Pardo, I've had all these different judges on and they critique the story. And everybody, it's just so funny, because in a minute or two minutes, whichever round it is round one is a true one minute story. Round Two is a true two minute story. You learn so much about somebody in just one minute. It's unbelievable how much you can learn in a very short amount of time. And then the judges just basically not rip them apart. But they add to the story. They joke about the story, and it's just wildly funny, the audience just loses it and then two contestants are chosen to go on to the third round and to tell Three minutes story and three minutes is a whole lot of time and again the judges then critique them and hilarity ensues Jeff, and then a winner is chosen and the winner receives my famous chocolate chip cookies whoo

55:16

Lisa win something that's more than you got for winning them off three times ladies gentlemen. Christina also has a book wait oh Go ahead. I

55:26

was gonna say people can go to story smash show calm story smash show calm and you'll get all the information Thank you.

55:32

absolutely everyone can check out Christine's book PIT to LAX - a story worthy life and get that on Amazon until it tells us all your other socials

55:42

storyworthpodcast.com yeah and add @storyworthy is my social handle. I'd love to have you on story worthy as well. Jeff, you're great.

55:52

Oh, that would be fantastic. Amazing. Thank you. Well, thank you for spending all this time with me. I know there's a million stories, but it's always fun just to win this show goes where it goes. So thank you so much for that. didn't think it was gonna turn into a site therapy session for me. But thank you for that as well. And listen.

56:12

Just call me Tweedle Dum. I'll be your Snow White.

56:18

You're the best. It's so nice to meet you. I can't thank you enough for sharing all this time with me. Thank you. Thanks, Jeff. All right. How amazing was Christine Blackburn everybody, everyone go subscribe to her podcast. It is definitely story worthy and you'll love it. It's one of my favorites. Well can you believe it? Episode 75 is almost over. I can't get over it. But it's not over yet. It's still time for a trending hashtag from the family of hashtag games that hashtag are around. That's right follow hashtag round up on twitter at hashtag round up. Download the hashtag round up app on Apple or Google Play Store play along and one day one of your tweets may show up in an episode of live from Detroit the Jeff Dwoskin show fame and fortune awaits you. This week's hashtag is a special one I chose hashtag #UnlikelyDisneyPlotTwists with hope that Christine would listen to these and maybe have these versions of the Disney shows and movies that may be Christine would love Disney more than she does now. So here we go here's it we're just gonna take a shot at it #UnlikelyDisneyPlotTwists from the unlikely game a weekly game on hashtag... Ground Up Disney plot twists that seem a bit unlikely and here we go. After Pinocchio Japan Oh stops carving puppets and creates the successful line of adult toys that sounds fascinating again cooks Piglet they got a hunger for bacon The Seven Dwarves were actually mining Bitcoin very relevant very relevant area learns about crabs, but we're not talking about Sebastian Oh, wink wink, a gritty reboot of the rescuers starring Liam Neeson I've got this particular shot of rescuing skills. That was a horrible impression. I apologize. They find Nemo at the sushi bar. Oh no. These are #UnlikelyDisneyPlotTwists that are drawing me in I gotta admit Balu shows more bare necessities than is actually necessary. Ooh, naughty Pluto moves to your anus. That sounds like A Space Odyssey adventure I could get behind you accept from Space Mountain and walk through a room that gives you free stuff. What? That is insane plot twist. Pinocchio gets termite rot and is tossed in the fireplace. Oh did not see that one coming, but I'm fascinated Snow White opens an animal sanctuary on her own without any help from my friends. Good for her. You go girl. The Great Mouse Detective investigates Mickey's taxes. It's about time spin suspect for a while and our fine unlikely Disney plot twists our last hope Cinderella marries the prince for fame and money. The Real Housewives of Disney Princesses is coming at you soon. The Wild Those were some #UnlikelyDisneyPlotTwists. Tweet your own on Twitter. I'll look for it. As always, all these tweeters will be retweeted at Jeff Dwoskin show on Twitter listed in the show notes. Show me some love.

Speaking of love, I love you all for coming back week after week. I love talking to so many amazing people. These 75 episodes have been incredible. Thank you so much to Christine Blackburn for hanging with me on episode 75. Thank all of you for coming back week after week. It means the world to me, and I'll see you next time.

59:48

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host Jeff Dwoskin. No Go repeat everything you've heard and sound like a genius catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai