#52 Come Aboard With Ted Lange

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Jeff Dwoskin 0:16

All right Goper Thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You get the show going each and every week. And this week is no exception. Welcome, everybody, to Episode 52 of live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show. As always, I am your host, Jeff Dwoskin. Great to have you back for another week of amazing conversations and fun this week. You'll be glad you came aboard. I was expecting you love. Sweet is rewards. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Ted Lange. Isaac from The Love Boat. That's right. We'll be serving up drinks, stories and love. People will fall in love out of love. They'll be misunderstandings with everything will be wrapped up by the end of the episode. I promise you that. So get ready for an amazing conversation. And that's coming up in just a few minutes.

Some exciting news, The Scene Snobs network had an award show for podcasters. And I gotta say I'm pretty excited. I won Best Comedy podcast, best interview podcast and podcaster of the year. That's right, you could tell your friends you're listening to the podcaster of the year as deemed by the scene snobs network. So thank you very much for that. It's always a joy and honor to be an award winner. So thanks to those guys.

I do want to also thank everyone that follows him subscribes and tells all their friends about live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show word of mouth is one of the best ways to help the show grow. I really appreciate it. If you're listening on cast box. Thank you very much. If you're listening on any of the other apps, thank you very much. We did a cast box promotion recently gave away some awesome mugs. Live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin Show mugs make coffee tastes better. That's just science.

I do want to invite everyone also if you're not on clubhouse on part of the comedy podcast club on clubhouse, check that out. I do a live show on clubhouse every Thursday at 10pm. Eastern called literally live from Detroit where I actually talked to someone literally live on clubhouse. So check that out. That's always fine. Also, every Wednesday at 9:30pm eastern time we do crossing the streams me and a bunch of pals of mine we talk about shows that you should be streaming awesome TV shows and movies that you can catch on any of the streaming services. So check that out. Lots of live fun coming at you.

Okay, buckle up, I want to share something with you. All right. So this happened to me the other day, a week or so ago. Like You I order something online. they ship it to me via FedEx. FedEx sends me tracking information. I watched this package go from facility to facility from truck to truck from state to state, as it slowly makes its way across the country to my house. So it finally arrived at my house a couple days ago. And the FedEx guy pulls up to the curb, takes my package out of the car, walks up to my sidewalk, takes one step on the edge of the sidewalk and says to himself, I think FedEx has done enough the 1000s of miles that we have traveled together ends now. And the FedEx guy then proceeded to toss like a horseshoe, my package onto my porch. And then he turned around, and he got back in his truck. I'm sitting here watching this on my ring video. And I'm thinking like, you couldn't have just walked 345 extra steps and just placed it on my porch. You have no idea what's in the box. I know because it's a solid box. And it's sealed. It could have been fragile. I waited all this time. It's important to me. Why would you throw it onto the porch when you were so close? you traveled together for 1000s of miles. And then that last stretch you're like, so close, but I'm just gonna stop right here on the sidewalk. I can see the porch. It's right there. Yeah, but, but I'm gonna stop anyway, so I caught the whole thing on my ring video and I posted it on Twitter @JeffDwoskinShow, go to my Twitter, follow me check out the post, watch the video and then reply to the video with your best guess how far the FedEx guy tossed my package. You'll see in the video where his foot is. You can't see where exactly it landed by just give your best guess. That's where the fun comes in. Alright, so go do that. And thankfully the baggage was fine and all that good stuff. It's just troubling to did go that far, and then just not be able to just finish it off abroad. Really, it just seemed it was Come on FedEx, you can do better than that.

But the good news is it led me to this week's sponsor. This week's sponsor is tape measures. That's right tape measures that flexible ruler used to measure size or distance. tape measure is the official measurement tool of the FedEx horseshoe team. Are you looking for an easy way to measure things? Are you tired of difficult ways to know how big something is? Well, then a tape measure is for you made of cloth, plastic, fiberglass or metal strips. There's a tape measure that fits your needs and lifestyle tape measures now common to common varieties. One common sense that includes inches, feet, centimeters and meters. And of course the America version, which only includes inches and feet. That's right tape measures get to know the distance between you and everything else. All right, well, that's good. So if you're looking to know how long something is, then you definitely need a tape measure. So as always, support the sponsor. You do it so well week after week. Can't think enough means the world to me tape measures available anywhere things are sold. Take care of them. You're taking care of us. It's how we keep the lights on around here at live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show.

And now it's time for the social media tip. All right, quick tip for you. Twitter chats, hot places to meet people and learn things. just so happens. One of the greatest Twitter chats of all time takes place on Thursdays at 1pm Eastern. #TwitterSmarter led by Madalyn Sklar just so happens. I'm her guest on May 20. It happens every Thursday, but you can check me out on May 20 come learn all about Twitter and engagement, it's going to be a lot of fun, a lot of fun. Twitter chats are just another amazing way that you can use Twitter is not just for tweeting and retweeting and sharing and finding trends and information. You can also have cool conversations on Twitter via these Twitter chats. A lot of times they spill over into Twitter spaces and you can hear and talk with people and hear their voice. So that's pretty cool. So check that out. Come visit me on the 20th but check Madeline out every Thursday at 1pm. Eastern, and that's the social media tip!

Alright ladies and gentlemen, for that part of the show. I'm excited to share the conversation I had with you with Ted. He's amazing. He's an amazing actor, director, playwright, we talk about it all you're gonna get your pixel about and so much more. Ladies and gentlemen, Ted Lange. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited to introduce you to my next guest. He is one of the stars of one of the most watched and recognizable shows one of the most recognizable TV characters of all time. Come aboard. We're expecting you ladies and gentlemen. That's it head lanch how are you sir?

Ted Lange 8:13

Thank you, sir. Fine, how are you?

Jeff Dwoskin 8:15

I'm good. How does it feel to be the most famous Mixologist flash greatest smile.

Ted Lange 8:22

I was not prepared for that being a mixologist. I was not prepared for that. Because, you know, most actors tend bar somewhere in the course of their run towards the golden ring. You know, I never tended bar I was never a bartender. So when I got the part, I had to go and learn how to be a bartender. I was enrolled in the school and everything and they gave me two diplomas, one for Ted and one for Isaac, and I put the Isaac Diploma in the Acapulco lounge. And that was my little inside joke. It was fun. There's one other Ted that's a famous bartender and this Ted Danson Yes. And one time he and I were at a theater opening and we were sitting right next to each other the odds are like astronomical that that would ever happen. And Juliet Prowse were up in the balcony opening night looking down on the stage. Juliet Prowse come in and she said Hi, Ted. And we both turned and looked. And I know I said no, no, she means me because she's was on our show last week. So I am the most famous that's what I let him know I'm most famous for

Jeff Dwoskin 9:42

yo Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you're Isaac on The Love Boat. And you're very famous for you know, the two finger point the two finger gun in kind of just reviewing some clips and stuff like that. I found an older version of the opening of the Love Boat, where it was just a One finger point. Yeah, one point Did someone go guys, this isn't working, we need to pull both fingers out. We got two fingers. No, no.

Ted Lange 10:11

The story is we were doing the pilot, the Buddha says, Hey, we want you to look into the lens and smile. And I said, well, because you're not really supposed to look into the lens, you look to the side, this side or that side. And I said, Well, what am I smiling about? And the guy says, think about your check. And I went like this. Okay. That's how that was one, right? They wanted to redo the thing again, because by that time, we had traveled to different countries, and they want a piece of the country in the background and stuff like that. Joe McCoy was behind in front of the coat hanger bridge in Australia. So they started doing so they said, Ted Don't forget the point. And I went

Jeff Dwoskin 10:53

two finger point

Ted Lange 10:54

yeah, I I didn't realize that I've only done the one point now. Don't forget the point. Go back. I got you know, I got the war. Yeah, got it. Yeah. And that's how the the two emerged. Totally an accident both times. It was an accident. But I tell you how I knew it caught on was when Bob crane remember Bob crane from Hogan's Heroes. Sure. Yeah. He did a guest on The Love Boat. man. He's sitting at the bar. He says, Isaac, I got a problem. I said, What's your problem? He says, My girl doesn't like me. And I said, Well, why don't you try champagne. And at the end of the scene, he goes, ooh, finger.

I said, Oh, okay. That works.

Jeff Dwoskin 11:33

Yeah, yeah. When you see other people doing it or quoting you, that's when that's when you know, you've made it I tell you even decades now later, that picture of you with the tremendous smile, killer mustache. And the two finger point is a lot of people's they use it as their API and social media. Oh, yeah, I see. I see it. I have a good friend Scott. He used it for years. It just it's funny. It's like one of those things you look at and you can't not smile when you look at you doing that. It's just, it's infectious.

Ted Lange 12:01

Oh, that's good. That's good. Thank you. Thank you. We have a lot of fun. And there was some club in Florida that had my face on a T shirt. Somebody sent it to me, you know, I said, Hey, you know, did you know that you're their mascot or you're their guy and they're the Isaac's or something like that. And it was just my face on a T shirt, like a frat thing or something? I don't know. So yeah, you just never know where it's gonna go.

Jeff Dwoskin 12:29

That's awesome, though, right?

Ted Lange 12:30

Yeah, it is awesome. That's a good thing. So

Jeff Dwoskin 12:32

you you have the distinction with Gavin McLeod and Bernie capo Kapil co pal Bernie, Bernie co pal. I'm horrible. As you know, you have these words, you have these in your head for years, and then you actually have to say it out loud to someone who actually knows how to say and by the end Bernie co found Lauren

Ted Lange 12:51

because Lauren would get Lauren twos all the time, but I would call her tweeze because her first name is not really Lauren. It's Cindy, and she hated the name Lauren. But when I first met her she was Lauren tweeze, so I just ended up calling her tweeze that way. I know I was safe. a nickname is always good,

Jeff Dwoskin 13:12

Gavin. Burnie and you are the only three cast members to be an all 250 episodes of the lebeau. So that's,

Ted Lange 13:20

that's well, actually.

Jeff Dwoskin 13:22

Is there more?

Ted Lange 13:23

Yeah.

Jeff Dwoskin 13:24

Did Google fail me?

Ted Lange 13:25

Yeah, there's one more that was the second pilot. And that was Fred was so it's me and Bernie, cuz the first guy wasn't the captain. It was a different guy. His name was Quinn Rademacher. And he was the captain on the original pilot of love. But they did two pilots, right? They actually did three pilots. The first pilot, they just threw everybody out. And God kept the boat and got no actors. Then the second pilot, it was me, Fred and Bernie, the three of us they found us. But Fred, as you know, quit halfway through. And so as me and Bernie were the only ones to be in each and every episode. And I did a TV series called that's my mama. before. I did love both me and Teresa Merritt. That's my mom. We were in. We were the only ones that were. We were in every episode, me and the mama. So if you give me a job, I'm showing up. I'm showing you their roadmap. I will be on time I will know my lines and I will hit my marks and I'll show up. So yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 14:32

so that's what I did. Mama. That was two seasons. And then was it canceled? Was that where you're coming off of her Mr. T and Tina?

Ted Lange 14:38

No, no, that's my mama was the first thing then T and Tina was the next thing that I got. I was always supposed to do Jeff feel like this. I was supposed to do one episode, huh? Okay. And they say oh, bring that guy back. We like his smile. Yeah. So it came back I did in that second episode. And he said, Well bring him back and I ended up Doing all of the episodes that they shot. Once again, I'm there if you get if I get my foot in the door,

Jeff Dwoskin 15:07

you're gonna show up. You ever think like what would happen if I mean maybe those shows would have just taken off. But interestingly enough, like there's so many stories where Oh, the show gets canceled. And the actor then goes on to the role that defines them, you know, or like they become most iconic for Yeah,

Ted Lange 15:21

yeah, that well, that's exactly what the reason I didn't have to audition is because I did Mr. T and Tina. So when they did the level of gig All I had to do was meet with the producers because the network's were hot on me. After seeing me on Mr. T. and Tina Barney said to me when we did the film, the first day is Hey, Ted, I didn't see you at the screen tests. When did you come? Did you come early in the morning? Cuz I was there most of the day, you know, most of the morning in the early afternoon, or did you come late? I said, Bernie, I didn't audition. It was what? What do you mean you didn't audition? I said well, the really good actors didn't have to audition. So yeah, after that for the next 10 years with everybody would screw up I would go That's why you had no idea. And so we have

Jeff Dwoskin 16:13

love about that story is the underpinning there must have been so fun on the Casio you could read each other like that and have fun with you. Yeah, you were coming in and hot off your shows. Bernie was famously on get smart. That's one of the things I remember him from and Gavin while he was on McHale's Navy but was Mary Tyler Moore Show I married

Ted Lange 16:35

That was it, buddy.

Jeff Dwoskin 16:36

You're the Love Boat is like this roll up of some killer actors,

Ted Lange 16:40

some iconic people came through there. And you know, we would resurrect old careers, get old Hollywood guys in and then whoever was young and hot, they put them in the show. All you had to do is be young, and it didn't necessarily have to make sense. We did an episode in China. We're burning falls in love with a doctor that lives in China and knows acupuncture. And Bernie's character is skeptical of acupuncture. And so this doctor that lives in China kind of educates Bernie on Eastern medicine, you know, played that part. Oh, the big tall blonde Susan Anton. She was hot. So you know they they didn't go well. Maybe we should get Lucy Lewis. I mean, they didn't do that. Hey, go with Susan into this big Amazon blonde girl living in China. Come on, man. Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, it was about who was hot by the date. Janet Jackson did our show. And she had just come off good time. She was 17 years old. And so they put her on. They put her on mobile cuz she was hot. You know, her career was smoking it. And I'm going to say she's 17. I'm 30 years old. That's gonna look terrible. She just played a kid on good times. Don't worry, don't worry, we'll dress her down. And we'll schedule this so that you kiss her when she's 18. Alright, and then they feel better now. Okay, get out of here. That was our thing. And so what happened was we would get old timers, old movie stars, and we resurrected their careers and brought them into the fold.

Jeff Dwoskin 18:28

So you were the first Janet Jackson's candle way before Superbowl? Yeah, yes, that's a

Ted Lange 18:35

scandal, although I didn't go for her breasts to rip off her costume. Right? Right. Right. I was smarter than them because I didn't want to do any jail time they work it out. They always figure out a way to work it out.

Jeff Dwoskin 18:48

When you said earlier about having to stare into the camera and how awkward that is here. Another camera. And so that's how the finger point kind of came about. I was rewatching some of the openings. And it's like, that's what they made. All the guest stars do was kind of look right into the camera when they put them in the book. Yeah. You look in some of them were like, okay, but some of them are like, you can tell this is like this is so awkward.

Ted Lange 19:11

Yeah, no. And so I had a little technique when I started directing, I had a technique for those because a lot of actors feel uncomfortable just looking at to the lens, because you're usually looking at someone standing next to the camera, you're not looking into the lens. So I have a technique where I would say just look into the lens and listen to my voice. And then I would weave a story and they would react to the story. I said, remember the time you kiss that first girl and they wouldn't relax and stuff like that, you know, I figured out a way.

Jeff Dwoskin 19:43

What was your favorite Isaac storyline on the boat?

Ted Lange 19:47

I have a couple Actually, I really did have a couple but I'll tell you the one the one that was really helpful to me because when we first did the show, they weren't writing for me and Fred and Bernie wrote in episode in which I fall in love with this girl who's an intellect and she she doesn't like old time, Negros and we had scatman Crothers as the old time Negro. And he and I did a thing called the hambone. Do you know Hambling is? I think I do. It's what you slap your leg and go hand bone and bone waving. Been around the cone of drinking, Jeff? Well, when we would go out on the cruises, we would all regale each other with stories. And one day I was talking about coming from Oakland, and I regaled Bernie and Fred with the hambone. So I did the hambone farm, they wrote it into the story, a moment where me and scat man both do hambo. And then I kind of I really like that. But the producers, you know, they the first year was really tough for me. They didn't know what to do, you know. And then they say, well, we don't write black stories. And so well, this ain't a black show. So you don't have to write a black story. You're not solving any social issues on Love Boat. So I said, write a gopher story. And on the last pass, change the name gopher to Isaac and you got an Isaac story. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah. So Fred, and Bernie wrote this thing for me. And then I ended up becoming a writer, which then later led to me becoming a playwright. And so I've written 25 plays, and I go around the country, particularly the black theaters, and I do place so when I was in Birmingham, Michigan, okay, I did Driving Miss Daisy in Birmingham, Michigan. So you know, when you're on the road with someone, you hopefully you all get along. It can be very frustrating if you don't all get along. So we have Rosemary Prinze as Daisy. Fred Sanders has bully the son and me, it's a three character play. He didn't have all that other stuff that was in the movies, just three characters on stage. And so they had an opening night party. And Fred and I are standing together. And I see this woman in a tight red dress with high heels. And she's blonde, but it's strictly from a bottle. Okay? And I said, Fred, look over there. 10 o'clock. That gorgeous blonde girl. And he looked over and he said, You like that? And the girl have a figure and everything. I'll go Yeah, you don't like you don't think that girls attractive? He goes, No, look over there at three o'clock. I look over at three o'clock. And there's a girl then sandals and a long flowery dress and ringlets of curls down to her shoulder and kind of like a hippie ish girl. And I go, that's the kind of girl you like. He goes, yeah. I said, Why like the other category? He said, Ted, that's lemon moraine. And I said, well, lemon moraine. I never heard of that before. But obviously I like that's what I like lemon. Right. So Jeff, fade out years later, I wrote a play about for black women called for queens, no Trump, and the white actresses that I know came to see the play. And I said, Why don't you write something for us? What are you talking about? He said, Well, black woman always get the best roles the winner. Now of course, like over they get many roles. But this is what the the white actor did that. That was funny. And what can you write us a comedy? I said, Yeah, think about it. I can write this up. And so I decided to write a play about five blondes, and it's called lemon marang. facade.

Jeff Dwoskin 23:43

Amazing.

Ted Lange 23:44

Okay, because I always remember that term lemon moraine when Fred said it to me, because I'd never heard that term before. I never heard it before either. Yeah, lemon moraine. Those are blondes in LA was a big, big hit. I had to double cast it, cause everybody wanted to be in it. And then we took it to New York and I did it off Broadway in New York. That is available on Amazon in case you're interested along with my other place. Amazon Prime,

Jeff Dwoskin 24:11

you can stream them.

Ted Lange 24:12

No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying if you want to buy the book.

Jeff Dwoskin 24:15

Oh, by the way, oh, but you can buy the book. Okay, good. Okay, gotcha. I will put a link to that in the show notes. Everyone can get them. Okay. Thank you.

Well, so you wrote 25 plays Yeah. And then first writing then was on The Love Boat. No, no, they proved my writing. They improved your writing. Okay. Do you got to hone in on The Love Boat?

Yeah, exactly. I wrote when I was in New York before I came back to California, I wrote a play called foul movement. And it was a one act play and cleavon little was doing a series called temperature's rising. And the New York Shakespeare Festival sent over some writings. I was friends with a lady named novella Nelson and they sent over some writings because they will have for minority writers for cleavon little show, at least that's what they said they were looking for. Turns out, they weren't looking for a minority writer. That's a whole nother issue. So I gave him my play. And they thought it was funny. And they said, Boy, if you were in California, we'd introduce you to Bill Asher. He's the executive producer of this thing. And he's gonna be directing cinemas, because you really are wonderful, right? Oh, well, thank you very much. Yeah. But you're here in New York and you're on Broadway. And so that's not going to happen, but too bad. You didn't live in Los Angeles. Whoa, Jeff. I walked out of that office. It was at Columbia Pictures. I walked out of that office, went into the theater and quit thinking they were telling me the truth and not blowing smoke up my thinks their muscle. Okay. Okay, it's up here. Jeff is

Ted Lange 25:54

here up my goodness. And so I went back to LA, because I wanted to be in television. That's what I really wanted to do. Anyway. So I'm in I'm in LA and I call up the lady at Columbia Pictures, and they go Just a minute. Oh, sorry. She's out to lunch. I said, Okay. Well, here's my number, tell her that I called tell her I'm in LA and I want to meet bill Asher. The next day, I call and she's out to lunch. Did you give him right? Yes, yes, we gave him next day call. I said now I'm gonna call earlier, I'm gonna call 11 o'clock called 11 o'clock. She's out to lunch. Next day, one o'clock, called out to lunch, two o'clock out to lunch, three o'clock out to lunch. And I think this woman popped off the face of the earth. And she left a message that she was going to lunch. Anyway, I never got a meeting with Bill Asher. They were just stroking me. And I was in LA. And so I that's when I started working on a new hustle while I was in LA.

Jeff Dwoskin 26:57

When that person's defense, you just may have been really, really always hungry.

Ted Lange 27:00

Yes, that's very, very true. And for some reason, I think her index finger was broken because she couldn't dial me back.

Jeff Dwoskin 27:08

Her loss. Yeah, many people that you think are there that didn't call back, someone who later went on to be famous. And then they have to deal with

Ted Lange 27:15

all of that going on. You know, the story of George Lucas and Star Wars.

Jeff Dwoskin 27:18

I'm gonna guess I don't know the one you're about to tell me. Let's hear a tad.

Ted Lange 27:21

Well, then he took Star Wars to Universal. He did American Graffiti. And he went to Universal University. So what else you got? He says, I want to do this movie about Star Wars. And they go, Well, let us read it. And they said, Joyce, this is the biggest pile of crap we ever read in our lives. This is not gonna make it. You can't do it here at Universal. So he says, Oh, okay. goes over 20 Century Fox. And they said, We don't care what it is. You just made a million dollars for universal you can do that. Or you can do cowboys in space. Whatever the hell you want to. We'll do it. And that's how George Lucas, the guy that turned out almost got fired. His name was Matt something was working at Universal. He almost got fired because he led Star Wars get away. And George Lucas,

Jeff Dwoskin 28:13

who was who was well, I think, yeah, Harry Potter. I think she shopped it around to 50 people before someone finally let her publish that book. Yeah, it's interesting. I guess it just you have to keep it to believe in your own stuff. And you just got to have to keep pushing and pushing and pushing.

Ted Lange 28:27

Yeah. And what I found out, you know, I liked Harry Potter, I read all of the books, all of the Harry Potter books, and I did a play in Edinburgh, where she lived and wrote the novels. If you go to Edinburgh, during the Fringe Festival, they got guys walking around with the Harry Potter scars, and they'll give you a tour of all the landmarks, the Harry Potter landmarks. And so one of the stories is that she sat in this cafe, writing the things and drinking coffee, and her sister in law, watch the baby, she had a baby. And so you go on the tour, and they go, Well, this thing of yours says that that's where she wrote that was later. The first place that she wrote is this place over here. And her brother in law owned the place. So she would go and sit in a brother in law's cafe and write. And they never told that in the stories that I read that it was her brother in law's place. Because when you think about who's gonna let you sit up in there, other than maybe at Starbucks, right, refilling that coffee cup, JK Rowling, she's a wonderful writer. Great imagination.

Jeff Dwoskin 29:39

Absolutely. I have some other and very important questions to ask. I want to hear about the Charlie's Angel crossover.

Ted Lange 29:47

Yes, the Charlie's Angels crossover. That was fun. Those girls are really gorgeous that Whoa, man. When you see him in person, I hadn't tell you a story. A Farrah Fawcett wasn't in that Then it was Cheryl Ladd. But I did a thing for TV awards, TV Land awards, and I was gonna do a comedic bit for the show. So I go to this chorus like dressing room where there's a lot of different costumes and stuff and my red jacket is there and everything. And while I'm in there, Farrah Fawcett comes in with some guy as soon as her manager and they're talking, so I'm kind of waiting because I got to put on pants and the shirt and think they just keep talking. And so I go on, man, well, it's it's all theater, it doesn't matter. So I take off my pants, and I put on my pants and I take off my shirt, put on the bartender's shirt and jacket and everything. And I look at her and she was sitting in front of a mirror, and every once in a while, she look in the mirror and then get to look in there and leave it and I said, Ferrer, were you looking in the mirror? When I was changing my pants? And she went? I sure was, and I said, Wow, I can't wait to tell my wife that you will

go back to Mary... Mary fell faucet was checking me out in the mirror. Mary says, what are you taking? I took off my pants, and she was checking me out. Sure What? Whoa, whoa, wait, that's not nice.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:26

Right, right, though. The wife doesn't get the way. You mean, I get what you mean. With your honor presented.

Ted Lange 31:37

We have a lot of fun during the show. We had a lot fun. And the fun part was meeting like Charlie's Angels. They gave Jacqueline Smith, a Jaguar to do that show. Really? She didn't want to do it. Jacqueline says, No, I'm not doing that. He said there's no we want you to do. It's a great story. But she's mad I want to do this is what if I gave you a Jaguar? Oh, okay. Yeah. I said I gave her a Jaguar. And she did the show.

Jeff Dwoskin 32:06

Oh, they probably have to do is just say you can watch Ted changes pants.

Ted Lange 32:09

Yeah, right. And if that was fair that she was on one of the day where she was just put in his dressing room.

Jeff Dwoskin 32:16

Do you have any favorite guests? I mean, I had there's so many. I mean, it was 500 people that came on The Love Boat. I know. Lauren Sanderson seems like she couldn't stop coming.

Ted Lange 32:27

Yeah, right. Exactly. She did a lot of shows her and Charo

Jeff Dwoskin 32:31

I want to know everything about Charo. I wrote that down. I'm like, Ah, this was fascinating. Growing up watching charo. It's

Ted Lange 32:38

Yeah, no, she's a sweetheart too. She really was a sweetener. And it was her and her sister. Her sister made all of those dresses that she wore all the coochie coochie dresses, was her sister made the dresses and was kind of like her wardrobe person. And they were thick as the cha was really great. Because she would Mangle the language on purpose. And there'll be sexual innuendos and the mangling of the language. You know, she said, Do you want to give a coochie coochie a simple way. I'll take my pants off, then you can check me out. But that's as far as we go. charlo was great. And you know, she plays Flamingo guitar. She's just not a comedian. I mean, she's a serious guitarist. So she was a lot of fun. She had a good sense of humor, and she fit in with us. Immediately when she came on the show. And she had to deal with ABC. They were trying to look, I say that Charo was Sofia Vergara before. In other words, you can't get to Sofia without going through Charo first and charlo had to deal with ABC TV, and they were looking for a television show where no one could come up with an idea. You know, I think at one point they wanted to use the character that she had developed on both but it never saw fruition. Whatever the thing came up for her money, they would put her on our show. So that's one of the reasons that you see her a lot is that the network's say hey, we didn't find another show for her to guest on and we didn't come up with a pilot so we're going to put it on a boat and make okay and she would come on and they'd write a story for her. She was a good deal.

Jeff Dwoskin 34:18

That's awesome. And then Cloris Leachman, she was on twice.

Ted Lange 34:22

She's a character, no matter what a man is. She was a character. I remember we were I was standing in line at the buffet. And she looked at my place and you're eating a hot dog. And I go Yeah, I like at the end. She reached over on my plate, took the hot dog off my plate and put it back on the buffet. She says you're not eating that. It's bad for you. And I looked at lady, you can't. What do you do and I put this back on my plate. She was a real character.

Jeff Dwoskin 34:53

Cloris Leechman, and then a young Tom Hanks was on

Ted Lange 34:56

Tom Hanks at first. Tom Hanks see they what they did. was a ABC did a whole Talent Search and they wanted to get the best young talent and they had a program which they would sign the talent and figure out later where to shift them. Tom Hanks was in that program. And what they did was they signed him and then they gave him bosom buddies. Okay, so after he gets bosom buddies, before he films one episode of bosom buddies, they put them on Love Boat. So his very first acting in front of a camera is on Love Boat. And then what they want to do is premiere bosom buddies and then show him on Love Boat and that will help give their show some PR they also had Arsenio Hall was in that group. Arsenio Hall was one of the people watch, and he never appeared on our show, but he would do the private social functions for ABC TV. So like we would all go to Century City, just a big mucky, muck place to the hotel, and they'd have a show or something and arsenio would emcee the show. Got it. And we were back then we were very supportive of our sannio because you can see that this guy was sharp. He was really, really sharp.

Jeff Dwoskin 36:14

Love Arsenio Hall. Yeah, yeah,

Ted Lange 36:16

he was good.

Jeff Dwoskin 36:17

He's got... him and Eddie Murphy. They have coming to America 2.

Ted Lange 36:21

I know. Yeah, he got tight with Eddie. In New York. When Eddie was on Saturday Night Live, the standups looked out for each other My friends and I, we did a thing here in Los Angeles, because it can be kind of cutthroat a little bit. So there were three actors myself. And actually in Glen Turman, and art Evans, and the three of us decided that we would look out for each other, because sometimes you go to audition. And, you know, there's numbers going on all the time, and people are not always looking out for your best interest. So we decided that the three of us would look out for each other. So in a sense, we were The Three Musketeers. We call ourselves dis debt and the other because we didn't want to take three hours, because he is already taken. Sure, sure. So he said, we're gonna be dis debt. And this happened like 40 years ago. So when, during the course of our career when something went happened, you know, like, Glenn did a movie with Ingmar Bergman in Sweden or someplace European sunset, and I got him some information on Bergman, you know, some interviews with with Bergman on how he handled actors. And so I gave that to Glenn. One time, I was directing Fall Guy, so there was a part for a guard. So I had my friend, art Evans come in, and he played the guard. And one time I was directing the Wayans brothers. And so I had lunch with Glenn and I said, so what are we gonna look out for? What's the deal? He says, oh, you're gonna have fun but the aware of this and be aware that so what we did was we protected each other and supported each other in our journey. That's awesome.

Jeff Dwoskin 38:11

I have one follow up question on the Fall Guy, did you pull Lee majors aside and go, Lee, I got this story to tell you about Farah.

Ted Lange 38:21

I didn't do that. But Lee and I got along famously, he came on The Love Boat, and he did well this was all before fair anyway, so I couldn't tell him that

Jeff Dwoskin 38:32

Oh, man. Now you come up now the I go when he listens when he listens to this?

Ted Lange 38:37

Yeah, you know, he'll hear about it. No, he and I, we he came on what happens is sometimes guest stars are fans of us. And Lee Majors was a fan of my character. So he hung out with me. Hey, listen while we go over here. I go. Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. John Aston was that way. You know, john asked him from The Addams Family.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:00

Sure. (sings song).

Ted Lange 39:01

I go on famously, and we hung out together because we were on the same page. We would go find me. He came on the Egypt show. We went all over Egypt, John Aston and myself just finding holes in the wall cafes and talking to the locals and stuff like that. We haven't good time. But Lee, we went to he like stolichnaya you missed those nine.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:29

I have not.

Ted Lange 39:30

So it's nice. Very good. I like so it's nice. So

Jeff Dwoskin 39:33

next time you're in Birmingham all by yourself. Okay.

Ted Lange 39:38

We went out and we would drink Stoli, I went to the bathroom and over the urinals in the bathroom. Were all of these posters of beautiful women. So that when you're standing at the urinal, you're looking at different movie stars. Okay, well Lee came out of the bath roomies, I want to see the manager. What? No, we're in Hong Kong. Well, what is the problem? I want to see the manager, manager comes in. He says, You got a picture of my wife over a urinal, I want that picture down. And if you don't, I'm coming back to mom gonna rip it down. He said, No, no, no problem, no problem. We'll take the picture down. So anyway, he and I were drinking, and we got pretty sloshed. And we go back to the hotel, and we're standing out in front of the hotel. Now, I am concentrating on having my back against the wall of the hotel. And so as Lee and I knew, we both thought the same thing that if we didn't keep our backs against the wall, the hotel the building would fall over. So is there is is Hey, did you direct, right? I got Yeah, direct, he says was to direct my show. I said, yo man to direct your show. He goes, yeah. I said, Okay, I'll direct your show. And he says, if you get in any trouble, I'll help you, man get in a drama to the asi know how to direct. So that's how I got my job directing for guys is we went out drinking and

Jeff Dwoskin 41:21

you're sitting there drinking and just and everyone's like, staring at the table going. That's Isaac and the bionic man.

Ted Lange 41:28

Right? Exactly. It's

Jeff Dwoskin 41:29

gonna be surreal, right? I

Ted Lange 41:31

mean, the great. The good news is the management keeps people from coming over to the table. So you can actually have a conversation. I did one. I'll never forget. Robert Conrad who did the Wild Wild West. I was in Tyrion restaurant and he was in a booth for me. And I saw someone coming towards me, obviously a fan and they were coming in, they were coming to get an autograph and I was in the middle of my meal and the management comes right up behind the guy grabs his elbow and leads him right past my table.

Jeff Dwoskin 42:04

Nice, you know? Yeah.

Ted Lange 42:05

So you go. That's why celebrities come certain restaurants, because they could go out, have a meal. And, you know, enjoy the company of whoever they're with. And I went over to Robert Conrad's table. I said, You know, I did a Fantasy Island. And on Fantasy Island, I played a stuck guy, and I had to climb up a ferris wheel. And I said, when I climbed up the Ferris wheel, I did the theme song from the Wild Wild West. He said you did I go Yeah, Bom Bom. Bom Bom. Bom Bom. Bom. Bom. Bom, Bom Bom. So that was gonna walk through my body. That's awesome. I got to tell him. That's what was awesome to me is I got to tell him. That's a true story.

Jeff Dwoskin 42:53

Paul Williams was on the show. He wrote the theme song. He was on twice. Those were his crazy days, right?

Ted Lange 43:01

Yeah, yeah. He was said I, you know, I'm very appreciative to your show. And we said, Why is that? He said, because I had been writing a lot of theme songs for television shows. And none of them hit till this one. I said I was right, though. Yeah, this one is the one that hit. So I have a fun place in my heart because it made him a lot of money too, by the way. And then him and Charlie Fox went to jack Johnson said this, we want you to sing this song. This needs

Jeff Dwoskin 43:30

your voice. It's one of the most classic. I mean, I think even now, I'm not going to but I started singing, you know, come over. Yeah, I wish they had never moved away from getting rid of theme songs. I think theme songs were so kind of part of of the shows that they were part of. I mean, when you think back to like those decades. Welcome Back, Kotter. And like all of these shows just had amazing theme songs. Well,

Ted Lange 43:56

you look at Fresh Prince Fresh Prince wrote the theme song.

Jeff Dwoskin 44:00

Yeah, amazing. Right. Great.

Ted Lange 44:02

You know, and so you know, it's still around a little bit. Usually when you have to explain something. Yeah, how does a kid get from Philly to Beverly Hills. Well, let me tell you that you know

Jeff Dwoskin 44:16

exactly what was your favorite guests of all time?

Ted Lange 44:18

Wow, I had a lot of them. I have a lot of love of my life. Diane Carol because I got the kisser. Oh, you know what I did? I did a show with Sherry Belafonte. You know Sherry Belafonte. She's gorgeous. She's a model. And she did an episode of The Love Boat, but I wasn't her love interest. LeVar Burton from roots and Star Trek. That was her love interest. So we're in the dressing room that come back from lunch and I say, Sherry, did you get the rewrite pages, the new pages? And she goes no wonder. I said Well listen, they want to make levar jealous. So he catches you and eye kissing. So look, let's just get the kiss out of the way right now. And that way we won't be nervous or upset or anything like that one, we have to do it on camera. So she says, okay, so I go over and I kiss her. Sherry Belafonte. And she's a good kisser. And I say, why don't we do that one more time? And she goes, why don't you show me those pages that you were talking about? She knew all along. I just wanted to kiss her.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:31

So yeah, she saw right through your Smooth Moves. Sounds like she put you in your place. Yes, you.

Ted Lange 45:38

Happy to be there.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:39

So the character of Isaac Washington besides love both and then you already reunited on the next wave. And you were on Charlie's Angels. But you were also on Martin and Weird Science. You've got five times that character appeared, which is says a lot about the character. But then you also showed up as kind of a barkeep. I'm like King of Queens knots. We weren't specifically Isaac on the King of Queens.

Ted Lange 46:01

No, that was the guy. You know what it was?

Jeff Dwoskin 46:05

But it meant to elude it right. I mean, yeah,

Ted Lange 46:07

exactly. And giving advice and I gave advice to the King of Queens. But the real deal was the producer just wanted to talk to me about another movie I had. Because I said, there was no reason for me to be there. Jeff going well, what is what people will tell you, if you just keep your eyes and ears open, people will tell you. And so this was there. And it's like, Hey, how you doing? I get Emma's one line. I come in, I do one line, like, you know it's your dream or wake up or something like that. And so you're just kind of listening. Why am I here, really? And then the guy said, Hey, can I talk to you about something? And I go, Yeah, sure. He says, when you did watch stacks, in this movie called watch stacks. And I was very forthright in my disapproval of Hollywood. And my situation as African American and I expressed this. He said, Well, you Did you really? You felt like there? Is that real? He says, because you had this and that. And Hollywood gave you this that go? Yeah, but how many black directors you got here? None? How many? How many black directors have have done episodes here? None. And I said, that's what I was talking about. That's all said we just want parody. You know, and that's what I had to try to achieve on my show was I wanted parody. And I started getting it after Bernie and Fred helped me. So it was interesting. The guy just couldn't say, Hey, I saw this movie, like to talk to you or take you out to lunch or something. No, he gave me a part. I showed up for the part. And they will we're standing around waiting to film. He said let me ask you so Okay, sure. Yeah, King of Queens.

Jeff Dwoskin 47:53

Well, hopefully they started hiring more black directors after you put them in his place.

Ted Lange 47:59

I then put him in his place. I just made a comment couldn't lie. Well, I certainly didn't put him in his place.

Jeff Dwoskin 48:05

He was he It was almost like he was inviting you to say so he would feel like he needed to push himself to do it or something. Yeah.

Ted Lange 48:12

So listen, let me say this, because people want to know some of the things I've been doing right now. I'm doing a thing for American stage.org. So one man show that I directed and it's about Louis Armstrong, Satchmo at the Waldorf.

Jeff Dwoskin 48:28

Excellent. Yeah. Thank you have any other plays in the works?

Ted Lange 48:31

Yeah. Here's another one. This is another play that I've written called the footnote historians trilogy. And I write historical plays from an African American point of view. So for instance, George Washington I have played by George Washington, and I write about him and his favorite slave, William Lee. And their story. Most people don't know this. But way Emily was with George Washington every day of the American Revolution, dressed him, shaved him, combed his hair cut his hair was like a valet, except that he was a slave. But he handled everything for George Washington laid out his paper, George Washington taught him to read so he could lay out his papers form and all of that during the American Revolution, carried his Spyglass. One of the things I do is I pick different parts of American history and I find the African American involvement in it. And then I write a play around the different people I got a play called lady Patriot, which is about a African American female slave, who seeming as a young girl seemingly can't read or write and she is given to Jeff Davis, the president of the Confederacy, and she's a spy, and they have no idea. And at a certain point in the in the Civil War, they realized there's a leak. They can't figure out who is the guy and it's really The girl and I have these great scenes where they're telling some really sensitive information. She's just Dustin, lifting up the hand does. David, here man,

Jeff Dwoskin 50:11

I read somewhere you refer to yourself, as a footnote historian, you only

Ted Lange 50:14

way, Jeff that I could find out information about the African Americans is their footnotes. And so I will buy these books. And then I'd find the information and I was able you get enough books. One author tells you this about William Lee, and then someone else tells you that about William Lana, someone else tells you something. And so I then kind of call together what that character's story is. And then I write the story. And I try to include some of the things that happen are iconic, and I try to show you how that moment happened for the character for the African American hero. How they got to that point, then you maybe you've heard this part of the story. Well, this is how that happened.

Jeff Dwoskin 51:01

That's great. Those stories need to be told. Yeah, I think they're Hidden Figures to kind of shed a lot of light on

Ted Lange 51:07

Wow, wasn't that something had no idea that that kind of thing was going on as the same thing with my place, I got characters, you have no idea that they were even there, let alone that it was going on?

Jeff Dwoskin 51:21

Whoever documents that history. That's the history. And so that's not all the stories so it's important to have these things and the stories that you're bringing to life important. Very important. Yeah. And usually you're more interesting than the ones that are hanging around.

Ted Lange 51:34

Grants. If the right is a decent writer, you can really tell a story. And that's what I like to do. I like to tell us to as you probably noticed by now, at the end of this thing that I like to tell a story.

Jeff Dwoskin 51:45

It's definitely a thread.

Ted Lange 51:48

Yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 51:49

I appreciate you spending all this time with me. You're fascinating. You really are. It's so so so talented, so many different aspects to you. Like you're not just a bartender, you're

Ted Lange 52:01

that's the name of my autobiography, not just

me. When I write it,

Jeff Dwoskin 52:10

it's a perfect name. Yeah, Dream really talented. So, so many great things you've done very exciting. Is there a way the plays on Amazon

Ted Lange 52:18

plays on Amazon, you can get footnote a story and trilogy on Amazon lemon marang. facade is on Amazon, and I've got some plays on YouTube. If you want to go to YouTube, I've written some Shakespearean plays once called Shakespeare over my shoulder, you go to YouTube, type in my name, then type in the title of the play Shakespeare over my shoulder blues in my coffee, which is my Black Lives Matter play the tears of Shylock, which is about being an immigrant in the country. And then for queens know Trump, the play I talked about earlier about for black women.

Jeff Dwoskin 52:58

Do you hang out on social media at all? Twitter, Instagram and Facebook?

Ted Lange 53:02

No, not at all. I'm not gonna take a picture of my food and then put it on. Yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 53:07

you could probably an amazing Instagram with just photos of drinks. That would be huge. You can have that idea. That's your gift for coming on my show.

Ted Lange 53:16

Okay, well, thank you, Jeff. Keep that in mind.

Jeff Dwoskin 53:19

Well, thank you so much. I can't thank you enough. It was such a pleasure hanging with you and talking with you. I appreciate you coming by the show.

Ted Lange 53:26

Thank you. Good to talk to you.

Jeff Dwoskin 53:28

Oh, right. How fun was that Ted land ladies and gentlemen. I especially loved this story he shared with me about being in Birmingham, Michigan, not too far from my hometown thinking when Oh, I'm a drink. If you ever comes back there, that will be a hoot. I hope you enjoyed all those great stories. And also check out all of Ted's plays. I'm gonna put links in the show notes to everything we talked about. So definitely check all those out. If you enjoyed my conversation with Ted, don't forget, there's like 51 other episodes you can check out. Also, if you're new to the show. Go to Jeffisfunny.com sign up for my mailing list. Check out the entire back catalogue. You can listen to everything there or on your favorite app, such as castbox, Apple podcasts, I Heart Radio, Spotify, whatever. You'll love to use.

All right, well, we're nearing the end of the show. So you know that means? That means it's time for another hashtag round up trend of the week. That's right. That's where we dive into the family of hashtags from hashtag Roundup, follow hashtag roundup on twitter at hashtag Roundup, download the free hashtag roundup app on Google or iTunes, and play hashtag games with hashtag round up all day every day. And one day one of your tweets may show up on a future episode of live from Detroit: The Jeff Dwoskin show this week's hashtag In honor of Isaac from The Love Boat joining us is #MakeAMovieADrink. That's right The ultimate movie and drink mash up hashtag found only on hashtag around up. Yeah, take a movie. Yeah mash it with a drink and you get hilarity. This week's game was brought to you by dangerous tags a weekly game on hashtag ground up hosted by anything pork. And without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, here are some amazing hashtag make a movie a drink toy eats that's hangover wears dog A Nightmare on Earl Grey Street. Don't fall asleep. Whatever you do, don't fall asleep. There will be Bloody Marys The Muppets drink Manhattan's Disney will not like that one. Here's some more amazing #MakeAMovieADrink tweets... pretty and pink lemonade. Moscow Mule on the Hudson. The Hunt for Red Martini. A Starbucks is born. Shirley Temple of Doom, sex on the beach blanket Bingo. Bottoms up beer and Loathing in Las Vegas. No Cosmo's for old man 50 Shades of Grey Goose and the final #MakeAMovieADrink tweet Fast Times at Miller high life. Oh right. Those are some awesome tweets. As always, I'll be retweeted at Jeff Dwoskin show on Twitter. They'll also be listed in the show notes. Show them some love retweet them like them, comment on them. Do it up.

Can you believe it? Ladies and gentlemen, Episode 52 is coming to an end. Where does the time go? Ah, so much fun we've had together Thank you for spending this time with me. So thank you to my guests had lands for hanging with me. Special thanks to all of you for listening week after week subscribing, liking Telling all your friends, interrupting family dinners to say Hey, have you listened to live from Detroit? The Jeff Dwoskin show? Well, you should I appreciate everything you guys do. If you're like, wait a minute, I don't do any of that. Well do it. What are you waiting for? I'm gonna ask again next week. So let's not make this embarrassing. So until then, have a great week.

Announcer 57:15

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host Jeff Dwoskin. No Go repeat everything you heard and sound like a genius. catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

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