#49 J Chris Newberg is Live Near Detroit

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Looking to sound like you know what's going on in the world, pop culture, social strategy, comedy and other funny stuff. Well join the club and settle in for the Jeff Dwoskin show. It's not the podcast we deserve. But the podcast we all need with your host, Jeff Dwoskin.,

Jeff Dwoskin 0:16

All right Robert, thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You get this show going each and every week and this week. no exception, my friend. Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Episode 49 of live from Detroit the Jeff Dwoskin show as always, I am your host, Jeff Dwoskin. Welcome back. We have a great show for you today. comedian, actor, producer J. Chris Newberg is with us. I've known J. Chris, my entire comedy career. So it was exciting to finally catch up with him and chat about all the great things he's been up to and that's coming up in just a few minutes.

In the meantime, time to get excited for Episode 50 Can you believe it? Next week is Episode 50. We've done this 50 times almost a huge milestone, make sure you follow me at Jeff Dwoskin show on Twitter and big mouth or my personal account. Links are in the show notes. Of course, we're gonna do a cool promotion. I made some live from Detroit the Jeff Dwoskin show mugs. We're gonna give away mugs I know crazy sweet March follow me and get ready to win some sweet March and I've got an amazing guest lined up for Episode 50 you're gonna love it not gonna tell you right now it's a secret now I'm going to reveal it throughout the week and closer to the launch of the episode. So thank you all for sticking with me for all these episodes get excited for J. Chris Newberg coming up in a little bit had a huge response to last week's episode with Ted Neeley, Jesus Christ from 1973 jesus christ superstar fabulous interview. check that one out. If you haven't heard it already. It's a great, great episode.

And you may be asking yourself, Jeff, in Episode 48, you interviewed Ted Neely who plays Jesus Christ. And now you're interviewing J. Chris Newberg. Do you only now interview people who are so jaded with the initials JC? The answer is no. pure coincidence? We're on a JC run but that JC run ends with Episode 49 so enjoy the ride while you're on it.

However, you know, now that I kind of think about it niching down wouldn't be the worst thing just to focus on people that have the initials JC Yeah, john cena. Jimmy Carr, James Caan Jim Carrey Jackie Chan, john cusack Jiminy Cricket. Do you imagine if I got Gemini cricket on the show? That'd be amazing. My numbers would go through the roof When you wish upon a star. Tell me Gemini. What was the thinking behind that song? Oh, it'd be so cool. Anyway, I can picture it live from the droid. It's the Jeff Dwoskin show today is J. Chris Newberg, That's right. J Chris Newberg, ladies and gentlemen. Ah, I think I go work. I think go work.

Oh, boy. I was just handed a letter from my producers. Dear Jeff, it will not work. All right. Well, I guess that idea is out the window. You guys can look forward to interviews in the future with any random person initials be damned. All right, back to the show.

Well here mark your calendars every Wednesday. 9:30pm crossing the streams. That's my live show. We talk about awesome TV shows and movies that you should be streaming that only appear on the streaming services last week we talked about episodes with Matt LeBlanc The Winter Soldier last chance you this sinner check that out on YouTube at the Jeff Dwoskin show on YouTube or follow on Facebook facebook.com slash Jeff is funny. It's a great show he would show people love it people love it you know what I love I love going on other people's shows. So let me if you want to see me around kind of just talking stuff. I was on the commercial break great podcast with Bryan and Chrissy and we talked about dealing with trolls I did a social media segment on there how to deal with trolls so check that out I humorous time was had by all I was also on carpool shenanigans recently that's live check them out. We talked about conspiracies I went down a rabbit hole of did we or did we not actually land on the moon quite quite interesting stuff out there about whether the moon landing happened or not you decide for yourself after listening to that. And I was also on a funny science fiction show. I actually want a mug in a book. So that was pretty cool. Thanks to all those great podcasts for having me on as a guest check them out support those shows when you get a chance. And then by that I mean listen on my shows and then support them or whatever you know, it's up to you. It's up to you.

Speaking of which, I do want to thank everyone who likes and subscribes and follows it's totally free. Remember to follow the podcast on your favorite podcast app whether that be castbox Apple, Google I Heart Radio, amazon music, audible wherever Everywhere check it out. also go to Jeff is funny comm sign up for the mailing list. I send a mailing list out every week that will also have some information on the upcoming contest I talked about later who doesn't want some sweet merge? That's one way to find out and be at the top of the list of people who can enter that's what we all want right to feel special. All right. So do that. Thank you very much.

And now it's time for the social media tip! really easy one this week. Quick and easy. grab a pen and paper. All right, go to your Facebook's your Twitter's your Instagrams, all of them. If they have two factor authentication, turn it on. That's right, set it to text or there's sometimes some other options, whatever it is set it up. I've been reading too much about people getting hacked, and losing their accounts. This will add an extra level of security do it and that's the social media tip!

I do want to thank everyone that supports the sponsors week after week. It means the world to me it really does. The fact that you go out of your way to support the people that support live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show, it means the world to me. It really does. This week's sponsor is staplers that's right staplers. Have you ever been staring at multiple sheets of paper and had no idea how you were going to fasten them together? Sounds like you need a stapler. With a manual or electric stapler you'll be ready to present that presentation to your boss and style. Stop trying to shove metal into your paper and manually bend it you're gonna hurt yourself. staplers are made to do all the heavy lifting for you. That's right. Whether it be a desktop handheld heavy duty or travel stapler, so many to choose from, we've got the stapler for you. You will look amazing when you present to your boss. You know that 72% of all people that present papers to their boss not properly fastened with this stapler lose their job within seven to 10 hours. That's right, seven to 10 hours. That's insane. And all you had to do was use a stapler. That's right. So grab the pieces of paper, staple them together and be confident that you fasten them in style anywhere you work. staplers are there for you. Now in red, yellow and turquoise Green Book. I used to just do the little bendy thing in the corner and when I got a stapler changed my life changed my life. So definitely check out staplers available wherever staples are sold.

Alright ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited now to share with you the conversation I had with my old pal J. Chris Newberg. Here you go. All right. I'm excited to introduce you to my next guest. He's a comedian. He's a writer. He's a producer. You've seen him on The Tonight Show Jimmy Kimmel, the Arsenio Hall show is everywhere. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome my good friend J. Chris Newberg,

J. Chris Newberg 7:48

What's up Jeff, how are you brother

Jeff Dwoskin 7:49

J. Chris, welcome to the show, sir.

J. Chris Newberg 7:52

Thanks for having me.

Jeff Dwoskin 7:53

I'm so glad to have you we've known each other forever

J. Chris Newberg 7:55

a long time man. He when you mentioned earlier today you were talking about Star Search and you were talking about last Comic Standing for Didn't we get pulled over on the way to like on 14 mile or like Southfield road on like early in the morning trying to catch the flight time. Last Comic Standing. You missed the flight. I missed the flight. Yeah, I did. But we got there somehow because I made it through. Yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 8:19

thanks for rubbing that in my face. I remember that was the only time I ever walked on a plane where I literally walked as they were closing the door. I'm horrible at airports. I usually get their way or like sure it's running late. And then you missed the flight and where I was panicked. This is before phones for anyone is listening. This was a while ago, maybe your rich friends had a phone but like not normal people didn't have cell phones like they do now. Mark Ridley had I think a connection where we were gonna be able to just walk in and I remember you didn't make it so I didn't know who the connection was. So I'm just waiting in line and I'm waiting in line with this guy, Allyn Ball. Do you know who Allyn Ball is?

J. Chris Newberg 8:54

My name maybe by face probably.

Jeff Dwoskin 8:57

Allyn Ball is I guess in Florida was a big deal. Like you know like if he would be like you would be a big deal in Michigan. He was a big deal in Florida. So this is his hometown. We're in Florida. This is was a Tampa. I can't remember what city was but it was like the last

J. Chris Newberg 9:11

Ebor city.

Jeff Dwoskin 9:12

Yeah, no, it was the last one. It was the very last one. So I'm standing in line with him for hours. And so you showed up right and then and like this guy Allyn Ball is twice my he's a big guy. But big like in stature. I don't mean like heavy like a big dude, dude. And so I remember when you got there and you pulled me out. I remember the look he gave me was a look like where he wanted to kill me because I'm just a nothing. I'm like a nobody. And he's like the local headliner guy and he can't get into the last Comic Standing. And here I am just about to leave the line because my buddy J. Chris Newberg showed up and we're gonna walk right in, we're gonna walk right in the look he gave me. I remember thinking, I'm so glad that I will never see this person again. Except Two years later, it's Lido connections headliner Allyn Ball. He looks at me He goes Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. And I just walked away. easily. You look familiar. I'm like, do I?

J. Chris Newberg 10:06

coincidence?

Jeff Dwoskin 10:09

That was a fun time because you made it through to that night you made it through to the next level. And I remember I was telling somebody about the just the document, you had to fill

J. Chris Newberg 10:18

that whole experience. I remember I did it two times. And once was in Arizona, I think Arizona, I made it made it but then I tried to go back the next year. And Ant was one of the judges. And I guess Ant heard what I thought of him as a comic out loud before. So like the two judges outside of Ant we're like, he's the best because we let him go through an Ant was like, No, I'm using my block to stop him. And I was just like, okay, whatever. But that was funny. I mean, like, that was, I think, two years after that. But that whole experience that whole last Comic Standing experience was so strange, because I was like the one in Arizona when I finally moved out here was like, my roommate was Theo von, and my sweet maid was Gabrielle Iglesias. And Gabrielle ended up leaving, because he was like, he got some theater gig and he's like, I'm not passing up $200,000 to do this stupid fucking show. When I was like, good go, because I was like, I can't beat this guy. He's He's the chubby dude who laughs and dances and giggles you can't be that guy. You know, Theo obviously went on to have success but so many people from that class of last comic like went on to be just very successful, like Doug Benson and, and pignataro and Nikki Glaser and Dan Levy, like tons of people went on to be huge. None of them made it past whatever, because it was a horrible thing. I remember, they shot it at the Alex theatre, sorry to go on a tangent, I'm just remembering this is shout out to the outs theater in Burbank. And there's 40 comedians left, I went up 39th and 39th. And they have the same audience. They didn't replace the audience. 39. And if you're watching, that's where I came up with the phrase, the only comedy is the only form of entertainment where if you watch enough of it, you become angry. And literally, it was like, at that point, you can't be like, so how's everybody doing? We're like, Fuck you. We're making $10 to sit here. We want to go home. So if you guys heard about, yes, it's been covered. And then of course, the person that goes 40 if he's like, I'm last. So that really rejuvenates everybody. 39th and I remember afterwards, Gary Marshall came up and he goes, you're really funny. You got fucked. And I was like, Thanks, Gary Marshall. just such a weird conversation. That is funny.

Jeff Dwoskin 12:31

Okay, so you have Ant against you. And then on America's Got Talent, Piers Morgan.

J. Chris Newberg 12:38

Piers, that was so funny. That whole thing. I didn't have any idea. I was like, at the time, I was reading our lives, I was reading some self help book. And it was like study the people who you want to be successful as I was Tony Robbins, or if it was like one of those, like, the art of whatever. And I was like, Oh, cool. So I did a bunch of research on Sharon, a bunch of research on how he and a bunch of research on peers. I was impressed with the dude, I thought it was cool. But I had no idea that my role immediately was the villain. So I stood no chance. So I like I went in there and I was all happy. I was like, yeah, and he was like, You're terrible. I'm like, cool. And they kept hammering me. And I was like, I still didn't get it. My producer didn't tell me. I was playing the bad boy role that season. So then I was just so over it. And then that's when Nick can and shoves a mic in my face because Piers Morgan doesn't think you're funny. I like Piers Morgan can suck it. I'm like, they're never gonna hear that they fuckin aired it. And I was just like, and then of course, he loses likability from everybody who doesn't know you immediately. And that was just fun. But you know what it worked out. I mean, I bested that guy again. And he sent me a very nice tweet and said, You got me you want good work. So it all worked out TV.

Jeff Dwoskin 13:44

So okay, so so peers, peers, peers. Here's Morgan here when you finally came back after he buzzed you and how we and Sharon loved you. And I remember watching this I remember watching all this, then you came back and you roasted Piers Morgan is like your quarterfinal thing, right? Yeah. I mean, that was great. I love that thing. That was so fun.

J. Chris Newberg 14:04

I was like, I'm gonna lose. So I might as well go out swinging.

Jeff Dwoskin 14:07

You got to know how he went out pretty well after that, didn't you?

J. Chris Newberg 14:10

Yeah, I know his wife much better. His wife ended up being my agent for a while. She's super great. And how he's, you know, always how he I don't I can't say that I'm close with him or not close to them. We tried to work together on something and that didn't really have any direction. And the project kind of went away. And he's not like the young hungry television producer anymore. He's the guy who's got one of the greatest jobs on earth makes millions of dollars a year to go for thumbs up. So he's in his drive to help out other comics. You get it? It's not it's he doesn't need to

Jeff Dwoskin 14:40

get that. Yeah, in his heyday, and then he got a deal and no deal back. Think CNN or something.

J. Chris Newberg 14:46

He works really hard. He's got an enormous, he's got several enormous houses. I couldn't say enough nice things about him. You know, it's like the kind of thing where like, if you're a young musician, and you're in Michigan, you meet Bob Seger. You're like, hopefully he takes me on the road. Hopefully we become friends and Bob's like, good luck. I don't want to do that again. I used to play seven sets a night in Chicago. No, thanks. Good luck. So it's no different. Yeah, that was me meeting every famous comedian. Do you remember like, it was arguably one of the best moments in my entertainment history. And I believe you were there. Robert Klein Meadowbrook then Constantine? And like five other dudes. Do you remember where you were backstage for that?

Jeff Dwoskin 15:25

I don't think I was backstage. But I think I think

J. Chris Newberg 15:27

I remember that. Okay. First off, Ben destroyed. It was like next level. It was like, I've never seen anyone kill so hard. He was amazing. It was like, it was like everything and you and you knew him very well. It was everything he ever tried to pull off in the club. He pulled off onstage in front of everyone. He was amazing. He was like Michael Jordan of comedy that night. So Robert Klein, pulls up in his limo, he opens it and I mean, either liquor bottles or beer cans spill out of the limo. He's not sober. It's got a cigar. He's maybe hold them brandy that comes backstage. And he goes, I remember it clears day. And everyone's just like, oh my god, this is Robert Klein. He's gonna talk. He's gonna say something cool. And he goes, which one do you guys want? And Ben was like, I did. He was congratulations. Doesn't mean shit. And then he went on cod this contest rant that was so hilarious. He was very warm and receptive. But he was just like, at contests are fucking stupid. This is what comedy is about. And he was like, old drunk guy. mansplaining. Everybody loved it, including Ben. We all were just like, Whoa, that was great. But I'll never forget it Who won? Instead of Congratulations, buddy. Doesn't mean shit. So great. I was like, Wow, he was honest.

Jeff Dwoskin 16:42

It's funny. Ben was the best no question then you introduce me to Ben. I know Ben because of you for those listening Ben Konstantin. It was a great guy. We lost him to pancreatic cancer. Could have been like five years ago already time just goes cruelty goes by too fast, too fast. But definitely one of the funniest no question actually just posted a picture of me and him in New York. We had met up in New York and Dwayne Gil was there and he was he was really on his way before the fucking cancer showed up.

J. Chris Newberg 17:12

Yeah, talented dude To this day,

Jeff Dwoskin 17:15

to this day, cheers to him without his porn went out. So what would you get recognized from? One of the funniest things that ever happened to me was involving you is I'm in Birmingham, Michigan with one of these art fairs. And I was on the phone behind this girl taps me on the shoulder and says are you j Chris Newberg and I turn around, I'm like, What? And then you're standing behind me you would send her to do it. It was just so funny. But like you've been on so much like, I want to hear about your experience on The Tonight Show and all that stuff. But like when people see you like, what are they? What are they most remember you from? Because America's Got Talent? Probably it was the biggest audience, right? I mean, numbers wise.

J. Chris Newberg 17:54

Yeah, that was overwhelming. That show. It's just It teaches so many people that they have access to you. And I have access to you in droves because like, I'm pretty sure I could send Jeff Dwoskin on facebook, facebook message with zero difficulty, I would match the face with the TV and send it now when you get like 15,000 of those. It's just like, Holy fuck, and it's overwhelming. And people just think that I mean, reality television has taught people that they have the confidence to tell you what they think. And it matters. And they give you the opportunity to just be both unnecessarily positive or overwhelmingly cruel. I mean, it's, you're just like, I've been doing this for 20 plus years. And this is my chance to tell jokes for two minutes on TV. And you're going to tell me whether whether or not I can have a career based on two minutes. Fuck off. And like, that's just me talking. I swear a lot. So it's great. You're like you're the most famous person on earth for 12 seconds. And it's literally 12 seconds. Because 15 I think 17 million people were watching it that season. It was it was huge. And I think I don't think I ever got recognized more. I got recognized at the airport, I got recognized a couple of times on the road. And it's weird because I'm not really used to getting recognized and when I do I'm always pleased and I laugh but whenever I see someone go, my first thought is Oh shit, am I about to get into a fight? Like it's not like they recognize me like that's never gonna be my first thing. It's because I mean, it's like even in being recognized. It's always like the anonymous you're the guy with a guitar. It's never my name, which is fine by degree recognized last week. Actually, I'll tell you my two most funny times being recognized there. They're hilarious. So one was I was on a date with my imbiah Alec bialik How do you pronounce blossoms name?

Jeff Dwoskin 19:38

That sounds about right.

J. Chris Newberg 19:39

So a friend of mine sets me up with her and really sweet lady. We went out twice. We had nothing in common really, really great lady, not a bad thing to save are so smart to get the chance to go on a date with her. It was probably four or four phone calls. She's like look, and this was when whatever that shows she was on and CBS was juggling. So she was like, I just really don't like to be recognized. It's a big deal for me. She's like, people get worked up. I don't know what to do with it. It makes me feel uncomfortable. She's like, I want to go someplace where no one's gonna recognize me like you got it. I'm like, how about she lived in the valley at the time. So I picked this bar off venture called, like Bose or something. I don't know what it was called. But it's I know exactly where it is. And they make pizza. They're a great pizza place. It's a pizza place. It's dark. And there's this like, when you walk in, there's like big screen TVs everywhere. It's a sports bar. And there's like this deep dark booth that no one would ever be able to notice you. Unless they specifically came there to notice you. So make this big deal to get the booth and so she's not bothered. And I have her kind of like trapped in so no one can get to her. And I'm protective, because I get celebrities don't want to be taught to totally make sense. So the second we sit down the tape, some guy comes up to the table. And he goes, because I'm so sorry. I don't mean to I don't mean to interrupt you guys. And she immediately goes, she does this immediately. And he goes, because Are you are you Chris Newberg has this like this. I'm from Michigan. I'm such a fan. You're so great, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And at that point, I think she felt like such an A hole that like we didn't really have anything to connect to much about after that. And then I remember meeting up with her one other time at the improv and she drove me to my car and you want to see where I used to live. She drove me by some house near the improv was like, Uh huh. And, but that was hysterical to me that she made such a big deal out of it.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:27

That is so funny,

J. Chris Newberg 21:29

you know, and that's a one in a million thing because she's so famous. She's on her third sitcom. Now she's got a new one coming out.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:34

So you dated her during the Big Bang Theory years.

J. Chris Newberg 21:37

I wouldn't say I would never use words like date. I would say. We went

Jeff Dwoskin 21:41

out on to you. What are your deals with her? He broke bread with her.

J. Chris Newberg 21:46

Yeah. Okay,

Jeff Dwoskin 21:47

got it. Okay, that's cool.

J. Chris Newberg 21:49

That's nice girl. Good mother. Very smart. way smarter than me. I mean, one of those people where the she starts talking about science and stuff, and you're like, Okay, she's very Jewish.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:57

She probably thought you're Jewish. She was

J. Chris Newberg 21:59

super Jewish. She's like one of the most Jewish.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:02

Yeah, she's very, she's like, oh, Newberg Oh, nice Jewish boy.

J. Chris Newberg 22:07

Anytime you hear my first name, there's very few Jews named Chris. Very few, very few. Very few. And if they are their vengeance name, because the mom was like, Oh, yeah, I'll show you. So that was the first time and then I was standing next to Ken Jennings two weeks ago, standing next to him and Raj, the guy who was our standing chaser comes up and goes Chris Newkirk. And I'm like, yeah, and he goes, You run confetti. I'm like, yeah, and he's like, I played that show all the time. So funny. My cool one talk to disk. So just want to say Hello. My name is like Ben. Ken busted my balls for like two days. It's so funny. I go, I get it. My name is on the door. No one knows me.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:46

So Ken Jennings, this is your new project he

J. Chris Newberg 22:48

just wrapped, I wrapped. So I think and I think he's going over to jeopardy. And I think he's gonna end up posting it. So I think I will have the one season of the chase that he ended up doing, because I think there's no way he's going to do anything like Jeopardy is a dream job. It's like prices, right?

Jeff Dwoskin 23:02

Yeah, I think they've announced him as the interim host. I thought I read they were gonna cycle through folks, but I always thought he was the heir apparent.

J. Chris Newberg 23:11

He's such a fan favorite.

Jeff Dwoskin 23:13

Yeah, he's good. So what is the chase about the show that you just wrapped? So we can I

J. Chris Newberg 23:17

think it's gonna be pretty successful because game shows seem to be pretty popular right now. The show was originally an England show, and then went to Australia. And then it was on Game Show Network. And basically what it is nine episodes season three contestants who are strangers work together as a second work together as a team first work individually, first contestant comes up, they have 60 seconds to answer as many questions as they can pop culture, easy, hard, whatever, they get $25,000 for every answer correctly, he's a question for like, what was beyond today's first band called? And like, what's the square root of something fucking hard. And like, you know, you usually get between 75 and $200,000. Now the bank this money, you have to then go to round two, which is you do a multiple choice head to head question thing with the chaser and the chaser starts off, they'll say, Well, you know, you just earned $125,000. If you want to play for that amount, I'm going to be two steps behind you. If you want to play for a lower amount, you'll be four steps in front of me. And if you want to play a really high amount, I'll be right behind you. You've got to beat the chaser to the bottom by answering five correct questions. And if you do that, you bank that money. So then all three of the people do the same thing. And whatever the total amount is, then the three of you team up in a two minute round to answer as many trivia questions as you possibly can. And then the chaser gets to do the same thing. And if they catch you, you get none of the money. And if they don't, you get all the money

Jeff Dwoskin 24:35

that could be on the Game Show Network.

J. Chris Newberg 24:36

No, it's gonna be an ABC. Oh, an ABC.

Jeff Dwoskin 24:38

I think it'll be a big show. And then Ken Jennings is like the host.

J. Chris Newberg 24:41

No, the host is Sarah Haines, from the view.

Jeff Dwoskin 24:45

You've produced a lot of shows. Oh, yeah, I didn't know this. I was looking at your IMDb you were on beach exam is that

J. Chris Newberg 24:52

I wrote jokes for Jamie Foxx last season. So all of the intros I did all those

Jeff Dwoskin 24:57

cool, and you just you couldn't get the weakest weakest link. joke for Jane last week with Jane Lynch,

J. Chris Newberg 25:04

I would work for under a second. I mean, like, you know, game shows are, you know, kind of really popular right now. And I think that that's probably a Fremantle show. And I would imagine that she's so successful that she probably brings her own person.

Jeff Dwoskin 25:18

Yeah, no, no, I was just kidding because he does all those like jokes, you know, in the beginning, like, does that mean I guess that's why they're bringing back Match Game, or they brought back Match Game and, and all those old style ones and to tell the truth, I love to tell the truth. That's

J. Chris Newberg 25:30

my friends. Just they're shooting a new season of it right now to talk right now. Yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 25:34

yeah, that's a good one. That's a good week is that with Alec Baldwin? match games, Alec Baldwin. And then to tell the truth is with I don't know his name, but he's the star of blackish.

J. Chris Newberg 25:44

I know you're talking about

Jeff Dwoskin 25:45

Yeah. As mom is like the, I guess the co star like she's. Yeah, they got a whole shtick together. Alright, so let's go. So you guys, you wrote jokes, or Jamie Foxx.

J. Chris Newberg 25:56

It was strange, because I never met him really never met him. Now. Not for a second. He is easily the most talented human being I've ever met in my entire life. I would write the jokes. And he would read them perfectly. And he would read them blind. Like he would just be he'd see him on the prompter. He wouldn't even say scroll for a minute. You just be like, go in Adam. And it was just he's the most talented person I've ever worked with. And I wish I could have met him. But for some reason, I just did not meet him. I met all six of his writers who you know, worked really hard and they always travel with him. But I did all they wrote their own thing I wrote the intros. It's so cool.

Jeff Dwoskin 26:32

Okay, let's let's talk about the tonight show. You had a killer set on The Tonight Show. Thank you. It wasn't the first time you showed up to the tonight show. It wasn't the first time you your name was on the door and you were supposed to go on

J. Chris Newberg 26:44

knows my third or fourth. Yeah, yeah, I

Jeff Dwoskin 26:47

remember if the what was it, like two times or something where you went at least beforehand, and it didn't happen. And then, you know, just

J. Chris Newberg 26:55

one time was for Def Leppard. The guitar player was supposed to be sick with food poisoning. But he ended up rallying and the next time was Bobby Brown, just in case he got too fucked up and didn't do it. Both times. They were like sideshow. I'm doing it. And I was like, Oh,

Jeff Dwoskin 27:07

so you're backstage just kind of waiting, praying. And but the third time was the charm for you right

J. Chris Newberg 27:12

there time worked. I mean, I was I'm one of the very few comics who debuted on The Tonight Show was the second guest. So and that was interesting, because I got the call the morning of because they the whoever won the voice was some teenage girl who they didn't think was very good at speaking. So they didn't want to give her an interview section. So it was like, they had the guy from Meet the Press on. And then I went second. And like, I wasn't even planning on doing it that day. I literally didn't wake up with thinking and I was like, when I got the call. I was like, they're gonna bump me again. Who am I? What am I doing? I was like, irritated by it. Because I didn't want to go there again, because you get so so excited for it. Like you're miked up, you're ready to go. And next time, like,

Jeff Dwoskin 27:51

Oh,

J. Chris Newberg 27:51

so like, so close? Yeah, so close. And it worked out. And it worked out very well. And I had a great time. And I wouldn't change anything. It was definitely just something I didn't plan on what happened to after this nice. How

Jeff Dwoskin 28:02

did it what what doors that it opened? Was it everything you had hoped it would be? And then or was it I mean, beyond just being an amazing experience doing it?

J. Chris Newberg 28:09

You know, I don't really think anything opens doors. I think everything opens doors, whether it's big or small click, you never know who you're going to meet and what situation it's like, Gone are the days of No, obviously people talk about, oh, I did it tonight. Yo, and you know, then I got a sitcom. And then it was huge. Obviously, those are long gone. And that's not a thing, but it's like you meet people when they're working at these different jobs that eventually you may work with again, or maybe they'll remember you for whatever reason, and you remember them. I don't really think it opened gesso. I mean, it didn't. There wasn't one specific shining moment that made me go I've made it was until like a year ago or two ago. And I was just like, I think I looked at my IMDb and I was like I've worked a lot. I've done a lot of cool stuff. I'm pretty happy with that. You know what, I've been in three movies, and like, you know, they're on Netflix. So it's like, I'm happy I can prove that I was I still get to write jokes for people. I still get to work in television. I miss stand up like crazy. It's just It's horrifying for me to not be around but I get it. Have you done a zoom shows or anything like that. I did one zoom show and I got banned because I made a I didn't know there was kids on the show. I didn't know there's gonna be fucking kids. And like I did a joke that was absolutely inappropriate. I'd known there's gonna be kids on the show, but I didn't know those kids on the show. After that. I was just like, I'm not doing comedy in front of somebody kid lying on the floor in the background. It's not what I'm sorry someone else can

Jeff Dwoskin 29:30

to pull in another story about our old friend Ben. Ben calls me one day and he's like, Jeff, I got a graduation party. We're gonna do together my Okay, that's cool. So we go to the graduation party, and it was a high school graduate. That was a college grad. He was a high school graduation and it's like got like a little nicer microphone set up there. There's kids running around. I'm like guys, I only have one set and it's it talks about hand jobs. Both jobs. I go, what do you want me to do? And they're like you do Jeff? No, you do anything. I go. I do. You You Do you and like, I go, I can't do me in front of kids. It's just sat in. bed. I'm gonna kill you. Yeah, so yeah, it's Yeah, that's that's having a couple of times we're like doing this party and it turned out to be a Hanukkah party and there were kids there. And it's like, it's just

J. Chris Newberg 30:17

not fair. It's not fair to anyone involved. The kids especially, it's like, you want to scar that kid forever. And you sure as fuck don't want to do jokes, front of like, in front of the kid because you're a responsible adult. That is true. That happened to me in Australia, I did a military tour. And it was for the nor Force Base in Alice Springs, Australia. And I got there and it was all kids. And I was like, flew me here for this, but I just tagged it. I think I played like catchy kid songs or something. But I was just like, is miserable

Jeff Dwoskin 30:45

to go back in time a little bit. When I first started doing comedy. Just as I paint the picture for the Michigan scene. Little Jeff Dwoskin is doing open mics. The big deal on the scene is J. Chris Newberg.

J. Chris Newberg 30:56

I don't know if that's true. But go on.

Jeff Dwoskin 30:58

No, no in Miami to me, to me, Jeff Dwoskin, we met at your CD release party where I think like Martin Butler, that's where I first saw Martin Butler, and oh, yeah, I think Ben performed at that show as well, you were just the guy, you were the guy. I remember. Like, I need to get to know this guy. I need to get to know J. Chris, you were always really good to me, you always, you know, brought me on gigs. And you're always super cool. And you're always very supportive. And I always appreciated that. So I didn't want to take time to say that to you. My pleasure. Your early comedy was a lot of music. I mean, I think you always use your guitar. But in the beginning, like I remember the early ones, it was a lot of very, very funny songs, because you came from a band, the Voodoo hippies, right, spell it out, everyone.

J. Chris Newberg 31:43

call back.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:45

Tell me Look, because I don't really know that much about the Voodoo hippies, other than you were in it, when we met. That was something in the past, but I know it's sort of framed and sort of is a sort of a basis of what you built, being funny in front of people on and then kind of took it in your own direction.

J. Chris Newberg 31:59

I was fortunate enough to be in a band with five of my friends. And we had no idea we were doing and we managed to keep throwing things against the wall. And every once in a while something would stick and we did things right. And we got to do a lot of really cool things. And I'm just kind of like it was literally the summer of 69 like it was literally a Jimmy quit Joey got married thing. And that's pretty much the whole song. And then I just kept going. He just kept going.

Jeff Dwoskin 32:25

Do you ever miss being in a band and just singing? No,

J. Chris Newberg 32:29

Ah, no. I mean, onstage once in a while. It'd be fun. I get to do that though. When I'm doing music when I'm doing comedy. I'd like to last 20 minutes or always music anyway. Right? That's true. Like I don't I don't miss getting off stage and having my ears ringing from the kick drum and the side wash and having to drive two hours with amps in a van. I don't miss any of that.

Jeff Dwoskin 32:49

Not a little more setup when you're doing a band and when you're doing the stand up with just show them. Where's the mic? Yep. So you were also on Jimmy Kimmel and you were also on the Arsenio Hall show. You squeak down to that one before I went off the air right?

J. Chris Newberg 33:03

Yeah, I was pretty happy about it.

Jeff Dwoskin 33:04

So how were those experiences different than the tonight show?

J. Chris Newberg 33:09

Kimmel was weird because no one knew Kimmel was on the air. When I went on. I think I was like the first 20 or 30 guests. I didn't know I was doing and they made me do a set that I didn't want to do. So I'm very very appreciative that that's that is nowhere to be found. I'm super happy about it. I didn't tank I just did. Okay, arsenio I remember, I had an awkward dismount. But it was still a really fun, it was a funds that was really, really sick. And they are cineole Hall. Like I literally went to the hospital for like five weeks, like two days later, I like had heart failure or something. I mean, it's all better now. And it's all passed. But I remember at the time, like I remember I was stuck in an airport in Indianapolis for three days because of a nice storm. And then I finally was able to get a plane to like Kansas, Kansas to like Nevada, Nevada to LA x and I got picked up at the airport by the driver because it shot over at KTLA and I remember getting ready in the back, like and I couldn't get over because I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror for three days because sleeping on the floor of an airport. And I was like so fat, but I wasn't fat, like fat. It was just like, I had a belly full of water. It was just seemed like my ankles were fat guy ankles, and I was like, Fuck, I need to go to the gym. I never even thought I'm sick. I never even put that together. So I remember just like I remember timing my jokes, so no one could hear me gasping for air. That's it was actually kind of fun to watch because I was had the wherewithal to just be like, I'm not letting anyone see me suffer. They're gonna laugh because I'm funny not because I'm like, but I've literally I was like leaning on the mic. And I'm like, I couldn't breathe. He was super cool. The experience was really great. And then I got sick and then I got I got better. But yeah, they were all really i mean if you think about it, it's just like when you when you start comedy like someone tells you, you're going to do Kimmel, you're going to do The Tonight Show you're going to do, arsenio you're going to be on all of these television. You don't? You sure have that goal, but like, the likelihood for most comics is not that

Jeff Dwoskin 35:09

it's a goal for all i think a lot of people I mean, that's quite a resume. And I know you worked so hard to do it. I know, none of that was just handed to you. I mean, you was handed to you as he worked really hard and earned it but you, you definitely, you know, you moved out there from Detroit, you your work ethic is is incredible. Okay, and you write more jokes than anyone else out there.

J. Chris Newberg 35:30

I do you write a lot of jokes?

Jeff Dwoskin 35:32

You like teaching people? I know you do, like sessions with people where they learn learn jokes, the Chris way?

J. Chris Newberg 35:37

I do kind of Yeah, I mean, I like teaching them in Michigan, like for the afternoon one day, but it's just like, it's too. I don't know if I have the patience for it. Because it's like, I expect people to excel quicker than they do. Some people do. And a lot of people don't. And like I really want people who take a comedy class to want to do comedy, and some of them are just taking it for fun. I think that's probably a 50 year old man approach to where's my patience for that or just not there? I don't like I don't have the patience of a teacher. I enjoy teaching for three hours if I'm there, but on a weekly basis, I would I would snap.

Jeff Dwoskin 36:13

Yeah. Yeah. So you toured with Dane Cook, you've toured with Russell Peters, you know, like all over the country all over the world, right? What do you have to do when you're in another country? I mean, I know people talk about the Midwest is different than the South. So the difference when like you're in a completely different country, and

J. Chris Newberg 36:32

it's pretty similar, except you can't at all talk about religion, like in any way whatsoever. Like you're fine with edit, like because the majority of the people that Russell performs in front of our English speaking, a lot of them are expats ex military. It's just, it's easy. I just like, I remember we did the very first leg of the I've toured with them a bunch of times, but I went to India with him. And it was in that region, the very first show is in Sri Lanka. And I remember being briefed before the show by two guys in machine guns and the promoter. And I don't think these guys in machine guns had any sense of humor whatsoever, but they were flanking him. I said, Well, can I now talk about his you can talk about anything at all, but don't talk about religion in any capacity. And of course, as a comic, your first thought as well, I can do what I've a funny joke. It's whatever I'm like, and I don't remember what the joke was. I know it wasn't funny. Then like, what if I and it goes, Well, we just ended a three month long civil war over religion. So odds are it's not to your advantage, and the people who are here with weapons or to protect you, but the crowd out numbers, you know, I was like, No jokes on religion. But then on top of it, Russell goes out jokes on religion crushes does whatever, because you can they all pay to see him. It's all comedy. I didn't do it. But it's a you get a really warm response. It's very strange. It's like because in your head, you think I remember we did, we performed at a VUDU Arena in Abu Dhabi, which is like a soccer stadium. And it was like, over to the right was the king and all royalty. And we were told not to look at or address them in any capacity, which to me, man, don't look at them or address them in any capacity, not going to do it. And then you know, you've got people with weapons and all these different things around and bomb sniffing dogs and different things you're never used to. You just got row after row after row of people who are just laughing and having fun. Even if they don't get your stuff. They laugh because they're having so much fun that they're outside and enjoying it was fun. I mean, it tends your question. It's definitely different. But it's definitely doable. And it's after the first show you get you figured out. I

Jeff Dwoskin 38:30

mean, I did Canada, and they were great,

J. Chris Newberg 38:32

right? So you get it. So I get it.

Jeff Dwoskin 38:35

You get it for sure. done Canada a few times quite a few times, you know, so I was talking to Bob Zany. And he was on the original Gong Show you were on the reboot was Yeah,

J. Chris Newberg 38:45

gosh, I remember that. I remember I escaped God, who was it? There was three judges. There was Andy dick, Steve Sherpa, or skorpa and Brian Posen, or my judges. And they were like the second they got up the gong. And I was like, thank you. Goodnight. So they couldn't go on me. Tell was the host. I got to meet him and know him. He's pretty friendly. David Attell. Yeah, he's

Jeff Dwoskin 39:06

a funny dude.

J. Chris Newberg 39:07

He's one of the funniest. He's so funny. I had a very nice compliment from him. One time I was it was the first time I'd ever had a chance to perform with him. I said to him, is there any way that I can go in front of you? I'm really nervous. I'm such a huge fan of yours. If I if I go after you, I don't think I'll I'll be really self conscious. I just I really, I really would have a hard time following you. Because you Okay, go ahead. Okay. I went on stage and I perform, I walked off stage and he grabbed me and goes, don't fucking do that to me again. He's like, That was amazing. And I was just like, Okay, thanks. And he just like, if any Afterwards, he came with me in the bar, and he's like, I couldn't fucking follow you. Don't ever try to shoot with me again. And he was just so friendly. And I don't know if he meant it all, but it gave me immediate confidence. That's awesome.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:48

Dude, that is awesome. David tell is like one of those comedians who has like the level of fame but always seems very approachable.

J. Chris Newberg 39:54

Yeah, he's super approachable.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:55

I remember being in New York at the comedy cellar and he would always I was just in there. Audience but like he would do SATs, he would be one of the people every time I would be there. He was there and he would just hang out outside afterwards. You could come up to him and meet him. I remember I saw him in Ann Arbor. I saw Jesse Popp opened. And then it was Mitch Hedberg. tell you how long ago this was. David Attell and Louis black. It was a comedy central tour. That was a great,

J. Chris Newberg 40:22

great, great show. What's Jessie Popp up to these days? He's still doing comedy.

Jeff Dwoskin 40:26

I think so. Yeah. He wrote for Conan, great joke writer, Jesse pop was was always I remember like the My favorite thing was when Mitch Hedberg came out after him and he's like, Jesse Popp that's one droll motherfucker.

That's like, oh my oh my god. Mitch Hedberg is is really bad about me. I got it. Like, all I talk about forever, the greatest. He has been long time ago. He's been gone a long time. Alright, so what else you got going on? You got it. Oh, wait, there's one other big milestone. I remember. This is like a big deal. This milestone is when you were on premium blend. And like I remember being in royal I think it was royal or one of the bars. We had a viewing party. You were my only I've ever been to Where was it? on Fifth Avenue Avenue. Yeah. And like we were all up there upstairs. You're on the big screen. They That

J. Chris Newberg 41:15

was fun. That's great.

Jeff Dwoskin 41:16

That's what I mean. But you were the big shot. You're the first year on TV or all this. You're like you're J. Chris Newberg,

J. Chris Newberg 41:21

that's me, too. Yeah, that was fun. That was a long time ago. I remember that. And then I remember Hey, it's weird watching yourself on TV. That's one of those things where like the first time that we had that viewing party, that was fantastic. And I remember when I watched the tonight show, I didn't want to I didn't want anyone there, sat in my apartment by myself lights off popcorn, just kind of watching. And then like, my buddy Eddie, who was a bartender at the improv still was like, get up here. We're all watching you in the Tonight Show. I'm like, Nope, not gonna do it. And then like, same thing with America's Got Talent. It's like, it's just weird to watch yourself on TV.

Jeff Dwoskin 41:54

It's hard. But like that first time though, that was great. It was so much fun. It was fun. It was a lot of fun. It was so fun. So there are a couple of things that I remember most about you. You and I drove for hours to Chicago we audition for Star Search together. Remember this? We literally walked in we just do like the 90 seconds that we each had

J. Chris Newberg 42:12

in front of a camera. Was it in a room in front of a camera? Yeah, but yeah, I

Jeff Dwoskin 42:16

remember that another hookup though. Where we just literally we got there we walked in we did it and we're like, let's go home and we literally went off to things for the two things I remember from that trip though that I cracked me up one is you trying to explain harmony to me? organizing and to To this day I still think about and this was like decade or so of my lives forever ago right? It was your ability as a road comic to get McDonald's chicken nuggets, leveraging the ashtray the pullout ashtray with the drippings. It's just how you could position everything in that car view so that you can eat and drive at the same time and not miss a beat. I don't know why you remember you remember that? It's sorry. It's just so stupid. But it's just like I totally remember. No, I

J. Chris Newberg 43:02

mean nugget memories. Very important.

Jeff Dwoskin 43:04

Once that goes What else you got? Exactly. This has been fun. I appreciate you hanging out with me dude.

J. Chris Newberg 43:09

Thanks for having me, man. Where can people keep up with you on social media? You can find me @TheChrisArmy and my podcast is heroin has a great publicist where it's usually me rambling or I have guests.

Jeff Dwoskin 43:20

Cool. All right, keep up with the great j Chris Newberg can't thank you enough for hanging with me. Thanks, Joe. Well, that was fun. Ladies and gentlemen, everyone check out j Chris Newberg on the socials. Also the Chase is now streaming on Hulu. So check that show out as well. And if J. Chris Newberg comes to your town, check them out

as we near the end of the show. You know what that means, don't you? That's right. It's time for the hashtag round up trend of the week where we pick a trending hashtag from the family of hashtag roundup games, follow hashtag roundup on twitter at hashtag Roundup. Also download the hashtag roundup app at the Android or iTunes App Store totally free get a notification every time a game starts play along and one day one of your tweets may show up on an episode of live from Detroit the Jeff Dwoskin show, fame and fortune awaits you. This week's hashtag is #PandemicBoardGames. That's right #PandemicBoardGames from young at heart tags a weekly game on hashtag round up the ultimate pandemic board game mashup hashtag. That's right. As always, everyone's tweets I read will be retweeted @JeffDwoskinShow on Twitter. They'll also be listed in the show notes. Check them out retweet them show these tweeters some love. And here we go.

#PandemicBoardGames: Trivial Pursuit of paper towels and toilet tissue. Guess who didn't wear a mask? Sorry, I didn't. mask I'm sensing a theme homeschooling. That's a new drinking game by Hasbro Hungry Hippo but it's just you getting up off the couch for more snacks. These are some great hashtag pandemic board games house trap shoots an anti maskers rescheduled operation and to wrap it up the final hashtag pandemic board games high risk, but no clue. Oh, all right, those were some fun responses to hashtag board games play long and hashtag ground up. You know the drill.

Well, thanks again everyone for coming back week after week. Can't think enough means the world to me. Can't believe we're at the end of Episode 49 thanks again to my guest, J. Chris Newberg looking forward to a milestone episode next week number 50. Can you believe it? 50 episodes and I'll see you then.

Announcer 45:40

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host, Jeff Dwoskin. No, go repeat everything you've heard and sound like a genius. catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai