#43 Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling Returns

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Jeff Dwoskin 0:16

Gary, thank you so much for that amazing introduction. You get the show going each and every week. Welcome, everybody to the live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show. I am your host, Jeff Dwoskin. This is Episode 43. And it's a special one, the return of Jackie martling That's right, Jackie the joke man, Martin. I think we're discussing so many things together. Rodney Dangerfield, his book, The years on the Howard Stern Show, you're gonna love it. And it's coming up in just a little bit. As always, thanks to everyone who subscribes and likes and shares their love of life from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show without their friends and families and events and social medias and all that kind of stuff. I can't thank you enough. Your love is what keeps me going. And I do want to send out some love to ciphered knowledge with Chrissy cipher for having me on the show last week had a great conversation, you can check out ciphered knowledge on YouTube. I also want to thank Scott Curtis as always for having me as a guest on the behind the bits talk show now streaming live exclusively on Twitch. Follow him there. Check that out. Scott Curtis has a great podcast behind the bits and a live talk show which is not a podcast. It's a talk show which is on Twitch so check both those great shows out. Also don't forget to check me out.

checking me out anyway. No, but seriously, don't forget to check me out every Wednesday at 9:30pm Eastern time. I'm live for crossing the streams. We're talking about great TV shows you should be streaming we got great guests. Every week we talk about great shows all live on YouTube, Facebook and Twitter the same time and Twitch but nobody really follows me on Twitch. So focus on YouTube. Check that out Wednesdays at 9:30pm. Eastern. It's interactive. It's engaging people comment during the show we react it's a lot of fun. So check that out as well. And you know those you should check out our sponsor. That's right. You guys have been amazing week to week we have the best fans you guys really embraced the sponsors. I got word that coffee table books sold out across the entire United States and world everywhere. There isn't a coffee table book that you can purchase now because of the power of advertising on live from Detroit. The Jeff Dwoskin show was exciting. Really exciting. Oh is the sponsor today it's a returned sponsor. My first returned sponsor. They heard Jackie the joke, man martling was coming back to this show. And they're like, we want to come back. You had our phone ringing off the hook last time. So you know who's back the Tom Selleck helpline? That's right. Tom Selleck there when you need them. 5169 to 29463 call time whenever you got a question. Do you need an amazing scrambled eggs recipe Call Tom, do you need to have one division explained to you because you really haven't seen all the MCU movies Call Tom. Why did Daft Punk break up? Tom Selleck can tell you he knows everything. Call the Tom Selleck helpline at 516-922-9463. Tell him live from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show sent you You won't regret it anyway. Anything you need Tom Selleck can help 516922946 through a call today. All right. Well, thanks again to everyone for supporting the sponsors week after week after week. It helps us keep the lights on and I can't thank you enough. And now it's time for the social media to Okay, today's tip, ladies and gentlemen is contests contests are amazing for engagement. We've got an amazing giveaway going on right now. It's a second one we've done. So this is reason for you to sign up for my mailing list. And also to follow me on twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show we gave away some amazon gift cards. And right now we're giving away three signed copies of the joke man bow to stern by today's guest Jackie martling. That's right, you can win a personalized copy of the book. If you're listening to this podcast before March 3 2021 at 11pm Eastern, go on Twitter tweet with the hashtag hashtag title of my book giveaway and tag my Twitter account at Jeff Dwoskin show you gotta do both the hashtag hashtag title of my book giveaway and tag at Jeff Dwoskin show you'll get a tweet that will have a link to a registration form. Go to the registration form and enter for your chance to win one of the three copies of the book. If you're listening to this podcast and it's after March there. That's okay, go at Jeff Dwoskin show sign up for my mailing list. We're going to do contests all the time. This is the second one we've done. We did one previously to support the Kenneth Johnson episode and we're doing this one with our good friend Jackie martling his support his book, we're gonna be doing this a lot and we're excited to give back to all the fans in a fun and engaging way. If you want to learn more, shoot me an email and how you can do this for your pie. Cast are your company or your brand. Just shoot me an email at Jeff at Jeff is funny, calm. I'll hook you up. I'll show you how we did it and how it's done a lot of fun and great results. I've already doubled my mailing list, which is so exciting. Anyway, so go on Twitter, check out the show notes. Go to ask Jeff Dwoskin show and enter the contest and hopefully you can win one of the books and that's a social media too. I am really excited now to share my second conversation with you that I had with Jackie the joke man martling. Jackie originally visited the show back in September 2020 Episode 18 if you want to search it up, I definitely recommend it's a great conversation. After that conversation. Jackie was kind enough to send me his book The joke man bow to stern. I read it. He came back and he shared a lot of stories from the book and I'm going to share that with you right now. So enjoy my follow up conversation with Jackie the joke man martling All right, excited to have back on the show. Jackie the joke man martling How you doing Jackie? Welcome back.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 6:04

You know, the older I get the sillier that stupid name sounds but if it wasn't so perfectly accurate, I would forego it but it tells the tale to Well, I'm doing great. Still swimming a couple times today and I just ate like a pig with my lovely girlfriend Barbara doing a lot of cameo dot coms. Like, people are shut in so they need jokes. You know, it's crazy. I don't know how but my popularity seems to be climbing with 20 year olds, 30 year olds, I'm getting cameos from people that weren't born when I left the show. It's kind of crazy, you know, but I love it. It's all fun.

Jeff Dwoskin 6:42

Oh, you are a legend. Let's talk about the book The joke, man, bow to stern. I read the book. You sent it to me after the last interview. Thank you. It's a great read. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 6:51

Thank you. I'm very excited. Because when I wrote the book, I wrote it up inadvertently, I wrote so much that goes up to two books. And now there's actually some interest because there's more and more fans that are listening to the old stern shows that are getting interested in me and my book is getting old popularity I'm getting. I'm getting a little I think he might be an exaggeration, but I think they might be ready to go with a sister, sister. It's not a sequel, because of all the things happened at the same time, but a sister vying because nowadays, you know, you don't print them up and send them to the bookstores. You know, they're digital, whether they're Audible, so there's not the the layout of the money to print and ship and yeah, guys, so you're not taking a big chance by saying hey, go download this, you know, so maybe by the next time I talked to you will be saying hey, second part. Well, yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 7:42

well, if you have a second firewall, we'll talk about it.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 7:45

And maybe, you know, my friend Frank is still mad at me for not naming the book, what I kind of toyed around with naming it way, way, way in the beginning. Because Howard wrote a book, he wrote another book, and then Robin wrote a book. And the day he announced her book on the air and she was so excited. And he was all excited for blah, blah. Yeah. And as we were going to commercial as he was pulling down the microphone, he turned to me and he said, if you ever write a book, you're fired. And my friend Frankie, they're like, well, Frankie, no clothes, you want to be better, which is a great name for a book. If you ever write a book, you're fired. So that'll be the name of the new hunk, you know. Isn't that funny in that great and who was half kidding, but half? Absolutely not kidding.

Jeff Dwoskin 8:32

I'm glad you wrote the book. It's great.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 8:34

I am thrilled that you read it. Obviously very thrilled that you read it. Well, yeah,

Jeff Dwoskin 8:38

I wanted to I wanted to bring you back so we could talk about that. And then your time on the Howard Stern Show. I was particularly interested in the stories with Rodney Dangerfield, right danger was one of my favorite comedian. So as I was in, I was jealous. You got to get to tour with them. You got to hang with them. And you know, what's

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 8:55

really crazy is that I you read the book, I'm not. I'm not a comedy fan, per se. I mean, we've told jokes and I always told jokes. So I loved red fox, love any young man. And I told dirty jokes since I was a kid. But I wasn't a kid growing up that wanted to be a comedian. I didn't think that was an option. I thought that was something that you know, anointed to be what might when somebody said, Are you the class clown? I wouldn't even say yes to that because I thought you kind of hadn't be anointed, I wouldn't have taken it upon myself to anoint myself class clown. But you know, everybody had the car. You know, you listen to the Carlin album once and you remember listen to Shelley Berman was in like seventh grade, and the first Robert Klein album, but I didn't aspire to be any kind of a comic. But I loved Rodney because with Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And the day after he's on The Tonight Show. We don't call each other up and we quote the jokes back and forth. So the fact that I sold them some jokes and got the hang with them was absolutely crazy. I mean, it would have been crazy enough, but he was he was my absolute favorite. It was just a dream. It wasn't long live, but God it was everything was so memorable. I knew I didn't tour with him. I wonder why. We went away for two weeks, you know, one week who's on vacation in Fort Lauderdale. And the next week, he was working in Las Vegas. And I just was with him for those two weeks. And I still think of things that happened that I forgot to tell people about to this day. I mean, because because he had this very this thing where he couldn't be anything but Rodney, and everything about him was funny. You know, when I went to go get his kids to take him to the airport to go to Florida. We went the day before him. I said, Rodney, you got to realize that every time you open your mouth, I'm gonna laugh. And he said, Oh, what up? You know what up? And he and I did every time he opened his mouth is just so much fun. So I do have to ask you don't really go into it. Other than mentioning he was there. Paul Williams was there in Vegas when you were in Vegas with him. What was he? I just watched an entire documentary on Williams. He's a fascinating person. I don't know how much was in the book. What happened was Paul Williams and Rodney shared the bill at 11. The week I was with Rodney Now Paul Williams is a singer songwriter with an orchestra. So Rodney said, although on first Rodney is old showbiz, he's like what comedy and then use it in other music that accompany their music. You know, the comedian, then the music Paul was was absolutely thrilled. That's how he wanted to do it. But of course, that's the way you would do it. But yeah, that ronnie had class and style in his own way. So Paul Williams was so thrilled that he let Rodney use his jet to go back to Los Angeles to film the reaction shots for Caddyshack. Paul was so thrilled with Rodney and with us that he invited Rodney and me over to his house on Sunday afternoon for lunch or dinner, whatever you call it. It was absolutely mind blowing. He had so much cocaine and we smoked so much pot and got drunk and did coke and Paul Williams wife Katie, I don't think that long since together. I know. It doesn't matter if I talked about this because Paul's been sober for like 30 years. I think maybe that afternoon. He decided he would get sober we got so wrecked and had so much fun. And the funniest thing was I don't know if I wrote about this because it's a hard thing to go over. But Ronnie said I can still see him sitting on the couch. Go and Paul you know, where the the songs come from? You know, he goes well, you know, Rodney, they're really they're just in the air. I just plug Amanda and Ronnie sit back in the couch over relax and coke up. Pick them out. Yeah, there's no getting over that. It's fucking beautiful. Beautiful. There's no getting over it just in the fucking air. How this beautiful. I mean, while Paul's wife is like a small coldness to smoke Coke, all the time with him was pitched me time. But that was especially pinch me time. So we got so high and had so much fun. And like 10 years ago, maybe 20, maybe five at whatever. I met Jimmy Webb, who's a songwriter who's works on ASCAP board with Paul Williams. And I said, Let me try and touch base. And I sent Paul Williams an email and said, Paul, this is Jackie martling. I don't know if you remember me, I went on to be on the stern show. But we spent an afternoon and he wrote back and said, Do you really think I wouldn't remember you when it was one of the best afternoons ever spent my entire fucking life which was like, very, very cool. Anyway, and at the time, of course, he was so brilliant already. What a great character. And you know, and the shows were, you know, two shows a night for I think it was seven nights. And it was just story. You know, I had the job. I don't know how, how well, you know, Robbie's act. But Joe ANSYS was his side guy, his friend that was funny as hell, but never one on stage. And when Rodney was on stage at danger fields, his club about halfway through his show, Joe would yell something. And it was my job in Las Vegas to yell what Joe used to yell. I was really funny because people look at me like, you know how rude to you. Because in the middle of his act, Joe would yell. So what do you do for a living on the go? Good Guys, your system. And it always, always worked out in a house. So I got to yell at from the back of the showroom in Las Vegas. So what do you do for a living like you guys? Why don't you come with me in the bathroom. I'll show you how small you are just really, really great fun.

Jeff Dwoskin 14:09

That's awesome. I

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 14:10

know I go on and on. He's so funny because battled with cigarettes and dieting, every waking second of his life. And we were between shows in Las Vegas went into you know, the diner or whatever, you know, the little luncheonette or whatever, you know, one of the little places where you get a hamburgers and so we have something neat. He does have a piece of cake. I said that you know I'm full Come on hope he's okay. I should probably I don't want to please get caught and chocolate cake is good cake. Bring him a piece of cake. I'm like, I don't want a piece of cake. And the waitress came and put a piece of chocolate cake in front of me. And he proceeded to reach over and the entire piece of cake off my plate and I said Do you realize that if it's in front of me and you eat it, you still get the whole thing off my plate. That was so him and that That's kind of subtle, but you can't believe how entertaining that is. If you see him doing battle with each forkful, like, Oh, what?

Jeff Dwoskin 15:09

If he did in small bites it does it. It doesn't hit you the same. It's it's much more rare and small. But yeah, if

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 15:16

you're standing up at the refrigerator doesn't count the calories don't count, please sit down, you know, we all play the same game.

Jeff Dwoskin 15:21

So the other the other small tidbit in the book, before we get to the Howard Stern stuff that I found extremely, extremely interesting was you made all your comedy albums through, you know, you'd work at a club and you'd make a comedy album, and you put it together and you put it

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 15:35

Oh, I wouldn't work at a club.

Jeff Dwoskin 15:37

Oh, no. I mean, like you'd recorded at the club, or did

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 15:41

the first comedy album I recorded at the restaurant where we were throwing a comedy show because the word no comedy club, you know, it was a comedy show where you know, like, Paul Reiser that came out and Carol Leifer and Rick COVID Then they came out from the city, Peter bales, all these guys because they would come out to Long Island, and they'd make 50 bucks, and they get stoned and get drunk and get laid. And it was like, meanwhile, in Manhattan, they're making $5 and getting the hamburger, you know, so it was a we were an oasis to them. And now everybody's laughing at every word. I said. So I made an album six months after I went into comedy. I had my own record was really crazy. So the interesting thing in the book, a comedian, a up and coming comedian that maybe some people have heard of if I say his name, Eddie Murphy, asked you to help him make a tape and you said no. What What happened was it by then the by then the Eastside comedy show we did was at a place called cinnamon and Richard minervini. And his brother, another guy got together enough money, I didn't have any money, so I wasn't included. And they opened a place called the side comedy club. So I'm set up to do my second album at Eastside comedy club, the microphones are hanging them ready to do it. And I think it was a jack, you have the album, and now you may get another hell. I said, Yeah. He said, jack, I want to have album I said, I'm too busy. He wasn't even asking me specifically. But you know, he didn't say hey, I want to record now. He's, I want to have an album. I know. He's driving that. That's, you know,

Jeff Dwoskin 17:09

the cherry on the top of that Eddie Murphy story of you know, helping him was I'm exaggerating the timeframe. But then five minutes later, he was on he became the biggest thing on SNL ever, right?

I don't think he was on Saturday Night Live yet. Now. Right after? Okay. So you send it you send your records blind to Howard Stern. He likes them.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 17:28

What happened was I sent my records everybody, yeah, sorry, I put out a record. I sent it to everybody. I put a second record out, I sent both of them to everybody. I mean, if I bumped into somebody on the street, and they say, Hey, I saw your chuckles comedy club, give me a business card, I'll send you a record because I didn't know what's going to happen. So I'm just sending them and send them and by the time my future wife came to work with me, I three records that we were sending three records and the matching cassettes and all my promo to everybody, anybody that I ran into, we must have sent out seriously between three and 400 sets of these things. And the records cost a lot of money and the CDs cost a lot of money. And the postage costs a lot of money and we're making money at governors, but I mean, we're burning everything back in the dial a joke cost me a fortune. We were just having fun. We're getting stoned and drinking and just working our balls off no idea what we're doing. And I was working in DC at a place called Garvin's Laffin and this guy says, Hey, this wild man got fired from the radio here in Washington and he's going to NBC in New York, you really should look him up because he would love you. He used to do broadcasts in his underwear on Friday mornings from the club here. So when I got home, I mean, Nancy sent the records in the matching cassettes blind howard stern c/o WNBC and put it in the mail, like we put in the 300 sets. And then a couple months later, it took a while to get there and get settled. And Nancy Cole, she says, Hey, that guy, Howard Stern just called he wants to come into the city and do his show called the WBC. And he got right on the phone said hey, listen to your albums, you know, every joke in the world. You want to come hang out on the air today? And I said, Sure. So I drove in. And I always love saying I drove in and I walked in. And it was Howard and Robin and Fred and I sat down. And the very last day I ever worked there in March of 2001. It was Howard and Robin and Fred and me, which was that that was the Beatles. And I sat down there and for four hours, we laughed our asses off. And you know, I was good company. I was fun. And how many are a lot of fun. Come back next week. So I came back once a week for free for three years. It was great.

Jeff Dwoskin 19:27

Then finally you joined full time and got paid. Yes.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 19:30

That was funny how he was supposed to give me parking money, which he never did. That was the whole funny thing. But then he called me up and said, Hey, we're going to mornings he got fired from afternoons at NBC. And then he got hired at K rock and he's on k rock afternoons. And I was on one day a week when he went to K rock and then he called said, Hey, we'll go in the mornings. I want you to give me a price. I want you to be there two days a week. So again, horribly low price, and I was there two days a week and within I should go back and forth. Between a month and two months. I went from two days. Three days to four days to five days because it was glaringly and I'm not being pompous here. It was glaringly different. When I wasn't there he was, he was just funnier, you know, there was an extra framework, and that's, that's no big deal. You know, it's just how it works. There's two people work and it just gets funnier, you know, he's driving the truck, and I could read the map, you know, so I went to five days, and then we got syndicated to Philadelphia and, and we went to Pluto, boom, it was slow. But it was like a frog on a frying pan just slowly, you know, three cities, five cities, six cities, eight cities. But you know, I used to get interviewed because Fred didn't really do interviews. And Robert and Howard aren't talking to anybody. And I always get interviewed people say, you know, you guys are so good. You know, there's like, 1988 You guys are so good. But how long can it last? Two years later? You guys are so good. But how long can it last? And then we had Channel Nine shown and Howard wrote a book and like five years later, you guys are great up until the last minute. They're like, how long can it last? And he just kept reinventing himself. And we kept getting crazier and funnier. We even stopped writing bits, because we just, you know, people say, Well, how much prep Did you there's no prep, I'd walk in and sit down and put the paper in front of me and grab a pen and Howard Sit down. Maybe you'd have a scrap of paper that said two words on it. And you just start talking. And people say How the hell can he talk for four or five hours a day, I used to say the trick is not getting them to talk. The trick is trying to get them to shut the fuck up so he can go home sometimes 1130 you know, it's crazy. It couldn't have been more fun slowly but surely i'm passing him notes. And during the three years when I was working there, it was so organic and slow. But I came up with an idea. I kind of write it down from me what it wasn't all that receptive at first, and he used to do this black helicopter reporter traffic reporter, I give him some stuff for that. He said, You know, I don't really need any help. You know, the only time I ever listened to the show ever. And all those years was the very first couple of weeks, because I didn't know the show. I didn't know anything about it. And I'm listening and all sudden, you know, I hear him using the stuff that I gave him. I'm like, oh, and the next time I went in and handed it to me kind of sheepishly said, Oh, good, you know, thank you. You know, I'll tell you a great story that's not believable. And I never blame people if they don't believe it. And I've never heard this tape. It's got to exist somewhere. I did really, really well in Philadelphia long before I ever met Howard 79. At big star in Philadelphia. This was this guy, john dibella, who had been on Long Island radio in the 70s. And I knew him from when I worked at the workshop recording studios because he's committed to voiceovers because he was on the radio. And they did live broadcasts on w Li are from a place called my father's place. So it was all very incestuous. So I go to Philadelphia and do his show. And it was the comedy factory outlet and the comedy works and bananas in comedy cabaret was so much work in Philadelphia, there's this place called the comedy works where you worked on the third floor. And if you had to take a leak, you had to walk down the back stairs and walk across the second floor where the people would dining and there was a belly dancer. You had to walk between the crowd and the belly dancer to go take a leak. No, it's just not believable. But you can ask the Paul Reiser and the Larry Miller and Jerry Seinfeld's, Dennis wolfberg that were the same Oh, but they all we all worked this girl and just started on the show. And I was listening to the show. And I know exactly where I was, you know, if this is not in the book, I got to put it I got to put in the next book. I was standing on a stool, a step stool fixing something. And the reason I remember it so well is because I never fix anything. I don't know how to fix it. I know how to tell dick jokes as well as on a stool fixing something in the kitchen of a house and Gary came into the house. Bill, he'll want to take old clothes. Now it's at our bring her in. And he would this is very early at NBC. And it took a long time for people to realize everything that happened on that show really did happen. The only thing that didn't happen is when he said a girl was at 10. She was probably a three. That was it. You know, the girl was really there. And she really had her clothes off. But they didn't look as good as he used to say they look. But Gary said this girl wants to get naked. And Howard said, All right, bring her in. And she guess she walked in wearing a fur coat. He said come on in. She came in and he said sit down. And Howard said Who are you? And she said, my name is Maria. And I work the door at the comedy factory outlet. And my favorite comedian is Jackie Martling. And I know because I almost fell off the stepping stool. I couldn't believe it. And of course he didn't address that he didn't go any further with it. And then I guess she just took off her coat and she was standing in stark naked was a shot heard around the world. And the ironic thing is a million years later we shot that scene for private parts. And I was there but I wasn't there when it really happened. But I was sitting there and Jenna Jameson was slowly one thing at a time undressing next to me and we shot up so for two days Jenna Jameson was taking over clothes and putting them back on to me, which was you know, one of the highlights of the show, you know, she's an old friend. She was great. You know, everything is on the internet. You know, I really should ask, you know, the people that No. Does anybody have tape of that from way way back then? I think NBC was very weird about giving up the tapes of the early Stern Show days. So who knows? You know, I should have asked what's his name? Oh, but he came later our friend Kevin metheny pig virus. I'm sorry, I get wound up and I get going, Jeff, you feel free to tell me to shut up?

Jeff Dwoskin 25:18

No, I love your story. It's gold Jackie

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 25:22

It's gold. It's gold.

Jeff Dwoskin 25:23

What would you say? If you were looking back like your personal like crazy? I mean, his eyes, Jenna undressing which it's gotta be a highlight. But like besides that, what would be like the to your favorite craziest things like, not necessarily fan favorites. But like, well,

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 25:37

James Taylor came in. And we're in the small studio, Fred sitting there. And I'm sitting here and the guests at 45 degrees to me, the guests would sit there and would literally the guests left me would be almost hitting my right knee because that's the, you know, it's it's close quarters. And James Taylor, who I absolutely love came in and sat there and played four songs live. And our knees were like an inch from each other. And I'm like, you know, his entire career, who would never been any reason for him to sit this close to another human being and play that it was such an odd situation. And I was in heaven. I was euphoric. I mean, I fell in love with music and Cape Cod. Meanwhile, between songs I'm writing things for Howard to say to James, you know, so James, when you wrote fire and rain did you keep time by banging your head against the pen itself, and unlike Holy shit, I'm writing this about my hero. But that that was so memorable. One crazy thing is this guy came in and this child actor, I always have to slow down when they tell the story. Because I forget the guy's name until I get to the end of the story. He comes in and Howard says something to him. And he went from zero to 60 he went berserk. Don't start with me, man. Don't get in my ass man. I'm not you dancing monkey. Man. I don't have to take your crap. I'll come over this console. I'll beat the living crap out of us. What will you say to me, man? I was like, Holy Christ. I said to myself, this guy's it is on fire. This guy is gonna kill somebody. And it was who's the guy who's? Who's the guy killed his wife Beretta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What's his name?

Jeff Dwoskin 27:15

I bet I know, the guy he was in. He was a little rascal too, right? Yeah. I've ever played her like

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 27:22

Robert Blake. Come over to like, in two seconds. Ronnie and Gary. were behind them in the studio. Like, wow, this guy got a short fuse man. And that one time was sitting there. Boom, the door pops open. And it's the guy who played the psychiatrist, the guy that really nutty guy on the Newhart Show. When Newhart played the psychiatrists, the first one jack somebody, and Chuck McCann, who is a child, talk show host when I was a kid, and pat McCormack one of the all time funniest, wildest, crazy people in the world and Sam Kinison it Sam had been at the, the, you know, the Comedy Store and you got done and they were all doing coke and he said, hey, let's go to the stern show and they piled into Sam's jet and flew to New York and just came unannounced just came bumbling into the studio. It was like the Mount Rushmore of comedy. I was looking at over my shoulder it was it was as wild as it could be. And that was kind of stuff you could you couldn't write that you couldn't make it up. You couldn't orchestrate it. You know, hey, Sam wants to come with the three icons.

Joe Walsh walked in one day wearing his bathrobe in Atlanta and it was open as junk is hanging there, you know, just just such great, great, great stuff. Now Robert Klein's on the phone arguing with his wife. He completely forgets he's on the radio on national radio and he's having a knock down, drag out fight with his ex wife on the phone. Oh, God. And afterwards, he was like, he couldn't believe it. That's the kind of shit as this kind of stuff that just happened. Milton Berle came on with the town on him. And you know, when we get done with a segment we break and I usually have to go the bathroom because they drank too much coffee. So we walk out a studio Milton berle's walking in front of me with his handler, whoever brought him in, he turned to his handle. And he said, he just talked about my cock for 45 minutes. So great, so great. He is

Jeff Dwoskin 29:12

legendary.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 29:14

So much fun.

Jeff Dwoskin 29:16

So you must have had like a million people coming in and out of there.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 29:18

You know, everybody.

Jeff Dwoskin 29:20

So let me ask you a question. So while at the Howard Stern Show, you pass notes to Howard, you were feeding him jokes and you talk about how you hear somebody quote back Oh, Howard said the funniest thing and it was your words verbatim. So how much of the show I know Howard's very talented so I'm not trying to take anything away from our but like, how much how much of the show was was you channeling that and elevating it?

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 29:45

It wasn't scripted. Unless we did a bit. We wrote out the bits and then it got pre recorded. It was all on the fly. There was no script. There was no Why don't you say this? Why don't you do that? It was just notes and the way I'd bet Describe it is if me and you and Erin coming or sitting at a table having dinner, say, or hanging out having coffee, and you're a funny guy, and she's funny, but she's a good audience. And I'm a funny guy, we're gonna have a conversation, you know, in the course of the conversation, I'm going to come up with some funny things, because I'm a funny guy. But so you were sitting there having coffee, only when I think of something funny to add, instead of saying it, I write it down and put it in front of you. So you could say it to me say it instead. So you're being who you are doing what you do. And I'm giving you a line here and there. You know, we could go however long without any and then it could be Boom, boom, boom, you never know. And it's funny because people always say, I can always tell when you wrote a joke, because how hard you laugh. And I always tell people, that is not necessarily true to every single thing how it says Robin goes, Hey, Robin, my mother died. Hey, Robin, how's your pet? Same cookie cutter laugh, I laugh relative to how funny something is, now that I laughed really loud and really hard. And a lot of the stuff I wrote, yes, because I wouldn't have written it and pass it to him in the first place. Um, I didn't think it was really funny. But because I was there now I was a conduit. So Fred could do it, too. And Howard is also very funny. And there were times where I'd come home and Nancy and say, you know, the funniest thing you wrote today, and she says that? I said, Well, I, I didn't write that Fred wrote that. She said, but you laughed so hard. Yeah. Because it was funny. I laugh. It's funny. And I'd come on and say, you know, it was the greatest line today was such and such. Oh, I didn't write that. Howard said that on his own. But you laugh so hard yet, because it was that funny. I wasn't there to propel myself or to make myself look good. I was there to be a good audience, and keep the show going. And if something was funny, I was going to laugh at it. And that's exactly what happened. And so there was so many times when people said, Oh, you did you write this? You write that? No, no. And there were times when Fred did hand me a note. And I point down because I had already written the same exact thing verbatim. I mean, it was such a well oiled machine, you

Jeff Dwoskin 32:10

just really couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable. It was just so much fun. I would fonsi even if he did laugh here on jokes, because I don't think it's a matter of laughing at them because you wrote them. I think there's some appreciation.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 32:21

No, it's it's laughing at what's funny, right. But

Jeff Dwoskin 32:25

that's my appreciation of you handing something to someone, and then actually executing it. There's some joy in that too. It's like if you wrote a script for a TV show, and you watch a movie and you watched a is that you could take you take extra joy in it, because they executed your words perfectly.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 32:38

I get that. And what was so amazing though, it got to point he would read my writing, without hardly pre read, he would just trust me. But there were times when he'd skipped something. But each circle around because it was such a good line, he come around and figure a way to get back to the line. Some things I wrote about Fred, he would twist around and make it about me, or if I insulted Robin, he turned around make it about Fred. I mean, there's no exaggerating what a major, major talent, the guy is just to be able to talk for that long, and be entertaining and be funny. But I always tell people, it's like if you're a world class sprinter, and you run the 100 meter dash in 10 seconds, you're a world record holder. If you run it and nine, nine, you are off the charts, you're on Pluto. And it's just like, well, it is easy. It was like a sprinter. And I was the wind that is back sometimes a little bit more, sometimes a little bit less. And I never wanted any more credit than when I left for more money. I thought I deserved more money. It wasn't that I wanted more credit or wanting to be any anything said there ain't you know, just wait a minute, there's a big chunk of money here and we shouldn't be sharing a little bit more equally. That's all. It was a ridiculously smooth machine and people would freak out. When they came in. They'd be like, Holy Christ, you know, wow, it would freak them out.

Jeff Dwoskin 33:56

You had a good relationship with Fred.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 33:58

Yeah, Fred scrape Fred's great, you know, he, I love he's an odd duck. He would take a bullet for Howard. He's a company guy. He wouldn't submit if we went to Los Angeles or if we went to England, he wouldn't submit his expenses, because he didn't think the company should have to pay. Hey, you can't? How do I? How do I stand there and scream that I want more money and compete with that kind of company? Man forget about asking for more money, even though you should have to pay for his mitt, you know, and he's just that righteously a good Good, good guy. I never stopped singing his praise. funniest, fastest. smartest man. If he was talking. He would finish your sentence with something so funny before you knew where you're going. And you know, an example of his talent. We're in Abbey Road, Beatles studio broadcasting live from Abbey Road, which is like I still when I say that out loud. I feel like I'm lying. I feel like I'm making it up. I mean, we're the room. We're in that room and jack Bruce comes jack Bruce is going to play a theme from imaginary Western. And Howard calls Leslie west on the phone and theme for measure Western is such a slow dersch that jack is playing it on the piano when the work is and Leslie West has got the phone to his amplifier and he's playing the lead. It's like I don't know if it's seven seconds or 20 seconds delay, but it worked because such a slow song. It was chills. It was unbelievable. And then he was like, come on jack. Can you do another song? So I didn't know what I could do. He said maybe Crossroads you know, but I played the bass. And now it says Fred, can you play Crossroads? This is 1980 which the Prince's Trust concert and want to be here in 1992? Can you play crossroads and Fred just got his guitar bread played Crossroads with jack Bruce. He did the Eric Clapton part of the cream song Crossroads with jack Bruce and and how, how it was like a good friend. He probably said it Fred. I think he missed the note. You know, I mean, that's that's it. But we were all just, you know, the people that don't know music and don't know guitar, it didn't mean anything to but you know, the rest of us like Jesus Christ, he's playing Crossroads with Jack Bruce, is just that good. He was just like, good, you know, in one way made private parts when we made when they made private, I still can't believe that my chapter about private parts isn't in the book How? How I made that call, I will never know because that chapter showed how they left me out how they underpaid me how I didn't get credit. All the checkmarks of reasons I left the show are all contained in that chapter. But they made that movie and every day Fred came would come in and say Jackie they they cut out a couple more of my lines. And they cut a couple more of my scenes. And I don't know if you saw the movie, but by the end of the movie, Fred is almost a mine. He says almost nothing because he stole every fucking scene. And so they cut his part just down to nothing. He's still almost stolen, but not on purpose. You know? He just Yes, he's my friend.

Jeff Dwoskin 34:49

Do you feel the same way about Robin? Or does it have a relationship?

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 37:11

She's alright. She's no she's just damaged. Good. She's alright. You know, she really is alright. People thought we hate each other didn't hate each other. You know, she, I seriously yelled at her one time really, really angrily on the air because she's sandbagged. We did a thing called Sternact, which was our version of carnac. the Carson thing, you know, she could put something in the toilet. And after everything if she didn't do the thing would live. Howard had my microphone down. And I would work very hard on those because they they were very big. It took me years to talk him into doing them and then they were a highlight. People loved it. And she sandbagged and she came around in the room and she said, I said get out of here you five minutes later we were fine. we all we all got along swimmingly. We got along a lot better probably than it seemed like on the air because once the microphones went on, the claws came out. You know, Gary comes in. We say What's matter, guys, we haven't gotten the guests today, you know what that means that everybody's in, you know, that means everybody is going to get it from all angles. You know, I used to feel like Bruce Lee, you know, I have Fred and Gary and Robin and john and Howard all coming at me from different angles. And I'm like, you know, I take care of myself.

Jeff Dwoskin 38:22

So it sounds like you have amazing memories. But then when you do mention the reasons you left. Let me ask you one quick question. I just curious, do you regret not getting representation from Don Bushwald?

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 38:35

No, it seemed No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So funny. Somebody said Twitter texted me or something said, Jackie, do you still regret quitting your job? I never regret it. The one thing I didn't count on. And I'm sure I said this in the book was a couple of months after I left. I hadn't realized how unnatural our setting was. I thought, well, you know, I won't be making the money anymore. But I'll still have plenty of fun. And you don't realize to sit with three or four or five other very talented, very funny people in a confined space and laugh for four or five hours a day is such an unnatural thing. But you took it for granted. And that's what we went through withdrawals from not from fame or money or anything like that. It was just, it was so much fun. It really was but it was it was bad. It was fun. When we're screaming each other. We have fun. I mean, I'd come in so hung over and I'd be cross eyed. And at the end of the show, I've looked at the stack of notes who wrote those, but it was so much fun. But so for a couple months, I said Listen to me, I would love my job back. They didn't return the call, which was fine. And in retrospect, I'm sure I knew damn well it was too late. It's hard to explain to people because it just looked so rosie you know Jackie's making million, you know, not a million but you know, with all things combined. I'm making a million dollars a year and having the time my life. When I say to people get up at 430 in the morning, three days in a row. Then we'll have a discussion. And they're like, well, construction workers get up at four in the morning, are they? Yeah, okay. But by the sign up the construction worker, so it was it was, it was an odd choice. And I got divorced from my wife, people. Oh, Nancy left, Jackie, when he left the show. What happened was me and Nancy were just about broken up for three years. But there was no time you did the show there dangling huge amounts of money to go to Detroit or go to Chicago, go to Las Vegas, so I'm working on a weekend, then when I finally had a weekend off, the last thing I was going to do is go looking for a place to live, you know, I'm not going to leave my house. And you know, so we just kind of hung around. And we were very, very good friends long before we live together and got married. So so it worked. But I also realized, after I got off the show, this being on the show probably saved my life, because I drank a lot. But you couldn't drink that much. If you had to get up at 430 in the morning, a lot less anyway. So when I left the show, all of a sudden, I had nothing but free time, which is the devil's play workshop, you know, and I knew I couldn't spend my life waiting for five o'clock to come. And I said, You're not, I gotta make it never five o'clock. So we had just bought a house on the beach, I moved into a house by myself, split up with my wife lost my job, and quit drinking booze, all at the same time. And if you read about that, they say if any one of those things happens in your life, don't change anything else. Because you need the support. Like if you quit drinking, you need the wife in the house in a job or if you lose your job, you need the wife and the boy and I all four simultaneously. And it was rough. You know, we grew up but you know you made do and I just stopped drinking and people say Why did you go to a withdrawals? And I said no is it well, then you didn't have a problem? I said, Well, you tell my wife I didn't. But it was crazy. And but no regrets. All the people I've met since May of 2001. I've never had a drink. So I have so many friends I've never had a drink with you know, it's very, very odd. First, it seemed weird. And I always talk to me, you know, I probably should counsel a little bit. Because when you first quit drinking, you think, well, I can't go out. There's a way that anybody can quit drinking, if they just stay home and stare at the walls. And they said, but you can't go into a bar because everybody's gonna be like, you shouldn't be in here. You're not one of us get out of here. Meanwhile, you go to bar, you get a glass of iced water and put a straw in it. Nobody knows you're not drinking. And most importantly, nobody gives a fuck. And nobody was drinking as much as me like, I'd be talking to someone and they'd be holding a drink for an hour. I feel like saying are you gonna drink that and what Jesus Christ but not you know, because they're not there to get drunk. They're there to be sociable. And it's a whole learning curve, but it happens quick. And you know, people always I always do my drink in front of them. Like, don't be ridiculous. You know, nobody drinks more than my family. And it's just been great. I've been living on the water here for 20 years. And I've been through a couple different girlfriends but the girl I got now just, you know, stellar. I mean, I guess I wasn't easy to live with even sober. A couple of great girlfriends. I screwed him up. I screwed up a little bit here and there. But now, Barbara has been here five years and we're happy as a pig and duty. You know, I'm not getting any younger. I'm 72 you know, I got enough money to live till I'm 80 but with my luck I'll probably live to be 90 and I'll be I'll be happy with a tin cup.

Jeff Dwoskin 43:15

Well, everyone everyone who go by the joke, man, bow to stern. Let's keep Jackie gonna say give him enough revenue for another five years.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 43:22

Yeah. The Amazon page. Is that jackiethejokeman.com. One word Jackie, the joke, man dot com. You put that in the Amazon page comes up. And did I tell you about the whole thing with Howard give me a bump. They tell you that? No, no. All of a sudden, I got a bump in sales. But my rep said Jackie sales all sudden perked up like crazy. And like, well, that's good. He said what what i said i do Mark simonian. And I do q 104. And I'm doing lots of podcasts and interviews. But I've always done those. And he goes, I don't know. It's good stuff. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. What happened was Howard put out a book. And he never told his audience Jackie put out a book, you should buy Jackie's book. He didn't even acknowledge that I had one. So they have no idea. You know, normally a lot of promotion and no money behind me or anything. What happened was when he put out his book, if you went to buy his book, I'm sure you've bought stuff on Amazon, if you bought his book on Amazon underneath that said, people who bought this book also bought this. And there's my books that are in John's book, Artie Lange's book. So people already have them. mouseout they already have their credit card in so with one click, they get my book too. So everybody's like, what the fun so unless it was sold, I don't know whether 2050 100,000 I don't know. Who knows. But I think it'd break his heart if he knew he helped me know that. And that's not fair because I'm sure he would not begrudge me you know, we have a very, very strange lady. So people say how's your relationship with Howard? I'm sure if somebody went up to him said, how's your relationship with Jackie? It's a fine line. People say Oh, are you guys friends? I say how can I? I can't really say I'm friends with somebody else. I haven't seen them in in 10 years or five years or whatever. It's been a it's kind of like pompous and say, You know what, friends, but we're not not friends. He's an RA character. Now he really is an RA cat. Of course, he's not in my documentary, and Robin's not my documentary. And Gary couldn't do it. And Fred couldn't do it. And I understand they couldn't do it. They know where their bread is buttered, you know, Sure, absolutely. But I didn't document or ask them. It's not negative. It's just like the book. It's not mean, tells the truth.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:27

And it's it is a great book, and everyone should get it. I do have one. One final question, I suppose.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 45:31

8 inches. Which is, which is actually too wide for a lot of girls.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:42

Artie Lange replaced you? I'm guessing you guys have a

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 45:45

wonderful placement.

Jeff Dwoskin 45:46

Well, I'm sorry that eventually he didn't replace you because you're not replaceable?

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 45:50

No, no, no, he came much later, they had tried five people as I didn't pay attention. But they've tried 567 different people in my chair for and wasn't my chair that I never named my chair. But they tried to put different people to have my function a week at a time a couple of days at a time for a long time. And rd didn't come on the show till after 911. I left in March. And he wasn't on the show until October. So there was no crossover. And we knew each other, and we had been friends. His father came home one day and said already, you got to hear this radio show. It is so fucking funny in the sky, Jackie martling. So funny. He got turned on to the stern show. And then he used to come with his pals to see me at rascals. They love my stupid jokes. It was a way you know, and he couldn't even envision that I would ever leave. He's in his wildest dreams. You'd never think that somebody would leave that job. But I left the job in any wind up there. I did his TV show a couple times. I did this podcast a bunch of times. We're proud. I

Jeff Dwoskin 46:52

I figured you were pals. He wrote the foreword for your book. Yeah, I figured your path I just

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 46:57

as a real nice guy. You know, he's really you know, he's he just is like a lot of people. He's as issues you know, you know, it's a tough road, the whole whole comedy thing. It really is, you know, you're as good and talented and crazy. He just, He's nuts. But he's wonderful.

Jeff Dwoskin 47:10

I have one final question. You go back in time they offer you their five year deal, the one that ends with $900,000 a year. Do you just say yes. Or do you still wait?

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 47:19

Are they on hold on hold? If they're on hold, just pick it up and say yes, no, I, you know, I really I really enjoyed it. It's the regrets I have was two months after I left McCartney came on the show. And I had been screaming for years. Look, can we do four days a week? You know, because once in a blue moon, we would have a four day week because of a holiday and it'd be like heavenly I'm like how that store for you. So I can't Mel won't let me do four days. I don't think Mel ever, you know, how do you want how I didn't want a three day weekend. He didn't want to go home and party and hang out and be crazy. He wanted to be on the air and I don't blame me as I have the tiger. But and then they wind up three days a week. Could I eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner? That would be spectacular. But that that'll never happen. Anything that I wanted to do would just be so self aggrandizement, you know if not long after I left Hank the Angry dwarf died. And we couldn't go to his funeral. I just couldn't because it would have been all about me like looking Jackie's trying to get some publicity or something. So you know, as much as I was closer to him than anybody, but I just I couldn't go to his funeral. So you know, it was a little bit weird. But that was that was nobody's call. Nobody told me not to come and I just try and do the right thing after 911. I mean, it was horrible for everybody, but especially indescribable out here. I wrote to Howard and I said Howard, Clinton and Gore were absolute polar opposites. 180 degrees. And they're sitting together in church and praying to try and show some unity and solidarity. What a great window to put the show back together. New York could really use a laugh. I think it would perk up the whole goddamn tri state area. And I wasn't being self aggrandizement. I was like, You know what? I know that would have been a pick me up for a lot of people. And it absolutely would have. And he actually wrote back and said, Jackie, we're not politicians, we're performers. And I think it even ended right there that thanks. But no, thanks. It wasn't gonna fuck yourself. But it was like, and I know, he knew exactly what I meant, you know, and I wasn't trying to finagle my I honestly thought that that was a great idea. Once again, depending on how you look at it, trying to weasel your way back in or you're trying to give people a reason to feel a little better. Maybe both.

Jeff Dwoskin 49:33

I think it would have been great. And maybe maybe one day, I mean, Van Halen got the band together. So I mean,

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 49:39

they don't want me I can't say

Jeff Dwoskin 49:42

I appreciate you sharing all these stories and being so open you're, I really enjoy talking to you and listening to your stories.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 49:49

I never ever. I never ever, ever get sick of talking, you know, people come up and say, I miss you on the show, man and you know, it's been 20 years. They saw you Let's get sick of hearing that. And I said, Listen, if I ever get sick of hearing it kicked me in the balls, I'll never get sick of hearing it. And now, I mean the competence. I'll leave you with this the greatest compliment. I think I got so long. Well, the other day somebody did a cameo. That's one thing if you want me to tell jokes to your friends cameo.com slash Jackie Marlin, spank me a lot of money. It's really fun. I did my first gay wedding the other day, I mean, gay anniversary, two guys married for five years. And I did one for a 20 year old. He said, I'm a 20 year old. And my best friend's a 20 year old. And we're in the film department up here in Harvard. And we really, really love you. We love the old shows, Western fans, we love the old shows. And I did a cameo for the guy's birthday. And they wrote back Oh, it's the greatest thing Baba blah, and that 21 years old, and they're in Harvard. I mean, it's really weird. But at some point, I got an email from a kid in Toronto. And it said, Jackie, I live in Toronto, and I got turned on to the Howard Stern Show in 2007. And it instantly became my favorite show. I really live for it. I really love it. And then as I was, became more and more of a listener, I started listening to the old shows. And he said, it's like having a favorite new band, and finding out that their earlier albums were better. You can make up a compliment like that. I mean, how wonderful is that? I was like I wrote back the gun. So why I can't blow you because I'm not allowed in Canada because I had a couple dwuis.

Jeff Dwoskin 51:30

That is a great compliment.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 51:31

Yes, classic,

Jeff Dwoskin 51:33

the four of you together where we're magic,

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 51:35

and I'm thrilled that you're interested in Thanks for reading my book and etc, etc, etc,

Jeff Dwoskin 51:40

etc. Well, thank you so much for coming back. I appreciate it. It was it was a pleasure again.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 51:45

All right. And I'll be coming around eventually gonna come around my documentary, I expect you to come out and hang out. We'll go to dinner and the whole thing.

Jeff Dwoskin 51:52

Absolutely. Looking forward to that.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 51:54

All right, Jeff. Thank you, baby. Later, dude

Jeff Dwoskin 51:55

Thank you.

All right. How fun was that? It's always a pleasure. Talking to Jackie the joke man, Martling, it was so great to have him back on the show. Everyone should go purchase his book on Amazon. The joke man, bow to stern. It's awesome. The giveaway that we're doing, again, is hashtag title of my book giveaway. You can see where it was inspired by the conversation I had with Jackie when he was coming up with the title of his book. So if you're feeling feisty, and you're listening to this, and it is March 1, 2, or 3r 2021 before 11pm ET on March 3 ,2021 , and you're like I'm going to try and win one of those books. All you have to do is go to Twitter, and tweet #TitleofMyBookGiveaway and tag my Twitter account for the show @JeffDwoskinShow. This game was featured on hashtag roundup this past Saturday. So I'm going to spotlight this hashtag as the hashtag trend of the week. These tweets and I'm about to read will be retweeted at hashtag Roundup. They did not win. As I'm reading this there has been no winners. They're just fun examples to inspire you to head over to Twitter and tweet #TitleofMyBookGiveaway and tag @JeffDwoskinShow. All right, here's one from Jackie Jackie and the Giant Peach Margarita. That's so Jackie. mx mark that biggest of beards. That's a page turner. Jeff sarcastic I solve problems. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. Folks that notorious Becky anxiety and me, Carmen in love with a prince. These are all great #TitleofMyBookGiveaway entries, head over to Twitter, tweet your own tag at @JeffDwoskinShow get to know these tweeters. These are great insights into all of them. Jake Wu covered in dog hair. And with a little picture of his dog Ben Lee. It's me, Helen. A Brief History of wine. We've all been there. John's title of his book, turning tweets into Twitter swag. He's got a bunch of gray shirts there including one from hashtag round up dangerous in case of emergency why you should keep a book in the bathroom. ck. All the things I admire about Donald Trump is the title of her book. And of course, that book is completely full of blank pages, how to open cupboards and leave them open, whose book is that it's mine. And finally, Jerry and the colored pencils from our super fan, Jerry. Alright, so head over. These are all great examples of #TitleofMyBookGiveaway, head over to Twitter, tweet your own and you could win and you could win a signed copy of the joke, man, bow to stern by Jackie martling. Thank you very much. And thank you very much for coming back week after week. Can you believe it? 43 episodes, tell your friends. subscribe, like, share your love of life from Detroit, the Jeff Dwoskin show, and we'll see you next week.

Announcer 54:49

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host Jeff Dwoskin. Now go repeat everything you've heard and sound like a genius. catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter. At Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai