#33 A Christmas Story with Scott Schwartz

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Jeff Dwoskin 0:15

Thank you, Parker for that amazing introduction. You get us going each and every week. Welcome, everybody to Episode 33 of the Jeff Dwoskin show. That's right. 33 episodes, you're stuck with us. And here we are in. This is our Christmas episode. That's right. It's Christmas week, and we have a very special Christmas guests for you, Scott Schwartz. That's right. Flick from A Christmas Story is here. How cool is that? All right, it's gonna be the best Christmas ever. Thanks for spending it with me and the Jeff Dwoskin show. So glad.

Speaking of which a Christmas gift to me would be to subscribe and like to the podcast on all your favorite stations. Apple podcasts, Google amazon music anywhere you listen Spotify humbly app anywhere, anywhere and tell all your friends say friends this year for Christmas. I'm giving you the gift of the Jeff Dwoskin show. When you see the smile on their faces and their eyes Twinkle, you know, you made a difference in their lives. Thank you very much. And while you're at it, join our mailing list get awesome emails and reminders of shows add to Jeff is funny calm and there's a link right there to join the mailing list. Sign up all your friends don't even ask him just do it. Just kidding. But seriously, though, sign up for the mailing list. Subscribe, do all those things Christmas cheer for everyone.

So quick recap on last week's episode where we talk to Steve Rubin author of the James Bond Movie Encyclopedia and we went real deep into James Bond if you love James Bond or want to love James Bond or think you don't really know James Bond check out Episode 32 because you'll love it. It's a great great deep dive and on at Jeff Dwoskin show on Twitter to support that episode I ran a poll Who was your favorite James Bond? Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan in whose name if you listen to the episode, you know I cannot pronounce or Daniel Craig now on Twitter, you can only choose four options. So those are the four James Bonds that I put up against each other and the results are Sean Connery with 41% then Daniel Craig with 27% Roger Moore was 17% and finally Pierce Brosnan with 15% and those are your favorite James Bonds, check out Episode 32 that's the last episode you won't regret it. It's an amazing deep dive. Love it.

Speaking of love, you know what I love? I love people that buy me coffees, you can go to http://buymeacoffee.com/JeffDwoskinshow if you want to make a donation to the show put that towards hosting or something like that. Or maybe I'll just be cold and buy a coffee it is kind of cold out so you could do that if you want a lot of people ask.

I also got this letter that said Jeff, congratulations on being named one of the top 25 indie podcasts at 2020 by indie pods united thank you thank you for writing that meant a lot. I appreciate it. Oh wait this is from my from my mom. But anyway, it's still it's still it's still good. I so I'm honored to have won it and I'm honored. Someone took the time to write me anyway. You can write me too.

Okay. Oh, and another reminder every Wednesday 9:30pm. Eastern Jeff Dwoskin show live crossing the streams with my buddies Bob Philip Sal demillio. Ron Lippitt, and Howard Rosner, we get together we have guests we talk about great TV shows that you should be streaming. Last week we talked about the platform, Stranger Things, Never have I ever, Cobra Kai, class action Park. And we've got a great episode Christmas theme this week. Don't miss it. We got guests and everything. You're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. So check us out live on YouTube, or facebook at facebook.com/Jeffisfunny or YouTube, the Jeff Dwoskin show or you can watch directly from my personal Twitter bigmarker. And we'll also retweet it @JeffDwoskinShow go to the show notes. All the links are there but best case head over to Jeff Dwoskin show on YouTube. Subscribe to the channel notify. We're also on Twitch. I know we're on Twitch. We're everywhere. We're everywhere. How cool is that? So check out the live show. You won't regret it.

And now it's time for the social media tip! Okay, it's a two parter this week. Part one. I already laid up polls, Twitter polls. That's right. I mentioned earlier the great one I did for my James Bond follow up who's the greatest James Bond. So Twitter polls are a great way to create content, extend content, or just kind of engage with your audience. And here's the thing, it's so easy to do. Go to Twitter. Go to tweet something and one of the options is a poll. It looks like three bars on top of each other. Click on that make your poll and 24 hours later you got results. You can't believe people love voting, whether they like or retweet it or not, they will vote. So that's pretty cool. So check that out. That's Twitter polls. And then the other exciting thing that I wanted to mention is Twitter put back their normal retweet function. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, you can now retweet like normal again, no more of this jumping. We're trying to save the world from retweets that Twitter was obsessed with for a short period of time before the election. Of course, it did take me like 24 hours to get my thumb back to normal. I trained it to jump like the tweets were jumping, so I could retweet and then it took me 24 hours to go back to normal when they put it back. But anyway, here's the great news. To sum it up twitter put pack retweets the way they always were gonna get an amen and that's the social media too.

And now I'm excited to announce our sponsor for the week Bates department store located conveniently next to Bates oil in Bates, Louisiana. That's right Bates department store coming at you online for the first time ever just in time for the holidays voted best toy department 30 years in a row. If you need a one legged lamp if you need a red Ryder bb gun. If you need the equipment to start your own maneuver company. Bates department store has what you need contact Bates department store online today to get all your Bates needs. You don't have to be a master to get everything you needed. Bates, Bates department store. All right. Well, that's awesome. And we're always excited to have a new sponsor we really are. So check them out online. And hopefully you can find what you need this holiday season. And now I'm excited for you guys all to hear my awesome interview for the week. Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited to have the CEO of kidco with me Dickey Cessna with us today. Mr. Cessna, how's it going in the manure business these days? Oh, that's funny. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited to have Scott Schwartz with me. Scott starred in the toy Christmas Story kidco, and so many other great stuff. Scott, thanks for spending some time with me. much. Appreciate it.

Scott Schwartz 7:17

You're welcome, Jeff. It's all good brother.

Jeff Dwoskin 7:19

So let's talk kidco first, because I'm sure you're known most for you've probably talked more about Christmas story and the toy but I want to get into that because there's some fascinating stuff to talk about there as well. I was rewatching kidco. Because kidco when I told a friend of mine, hey, I'm talking to Scott Schwartz. They're like kidco that's that was my entire ad on HBO. Like Yes. Wow. And like, it was rewatching it it's an interesting premise, the whole movie, a bunch of kids selling manure, and then fighting the city council in Texas. It was like,

Scott Schwartz 7:51

it's based on a true story. I mean, this really did happen. Their parents owned a horse farm and the kid was a conniver and he was a you know, money guy ran bingo and Keynote things in school and sold the racers and all this crap. And somehow he figured out if you mix the the crap from the horses with hay and oats, you come up with fertilizer, and he started servicing the community that there was a golf course. And that was really what set off the chain of what happened because there was a guy in town who was the main guy, he was the guy with the trucks and everything else. And these are just kids, you know, rolling carts with with manure, the guy at the golf course hired him. We actually just lost him a week ago, Alan rich, he only played you know, in kidco is the golf owner. But he was also he was in Serpico. And he was in the Frisco Kid with Harrison Ford all kinds of movies. But anyway, so they ended up the kids didn't have permits to sell anything. And it's actually a secondary storyline that that we shot but they cut it out of the film. We're also killing gophers on the golf course. You know, which was really why the guy hired the cessnas to do it because they would go and they would pour drain Oh, into the gopher holes, and they would kill gophers, but they didn't want kids running around doing drain Oh, so they cut that out. They went to court basically the kids won but lost they basically had to give up all the money that they had made to the city for penalties and everything else but what they got out of it was their tax license their permits they got everything they could to make a business and I mean they ended up being millionaires

Jeff Dwoskin 9:25

it's a fascinating story. Very Reagan very it is when you were a child actor was the toy the first big movie that you did

Scott Schwartz 9:33

yeah, the toys the first film I did. I started in middle of 77 and I you know I did commercials and Broadway and Off Broadway and all those kind of things and the toys the first some I get the beginning the end of 81 going into 82

Jeff Dwoskin 9:46

we started shooting. So you're a kid and you're going into a movie with two of the biggest comedy icons. I mean, even to this day. I mean, they're like, I mean, Jackie Gleason and Richard Pryor. It says an unbeliever It must have been an unbelievable experience just to be around that type of royalty. And Ned Beatty was there and the director was Richard Donner who did Superman right and like,

Scott Schwartz 10:09

sure, keep going Ray Stark who produced the star is born with Streisand and funny girl. I mean, you know, he had a 40 year 5050 year career and Wilford hydride who played the buffalo Ned Beatty plays Mr. Morehouse, you know from Superman and deliverance and how many other movies you know, I mean, it started off as crazy as it sounds. A big reason I got the movie I got the toy was because of the movie airplane. Okay, it sounds just off the charts insane. But what happened was I got all the way to the screen test part of it, you know, and they flew me out to California, New Jersey. I'm supposed to meet Richard Pryor in August is going to be great. And I'm all set. I'm ready to go. And that production assistant comes some to my little trailer there and she's like, Listen, unfortunately, Mr. Pryor couldn't make it. He stuck in Atlanta divorce number five. So we're gonna have another black actor reading with you. Okay, so she closed the door and I was devastated. I was pissed. I'm like, if I don't get this movie, I'm never gonna meet Richard Pryor now. So I'm like, feeling just there. So the guy comes to door knocks on the door. He's like, Hey, my name is Norman and let's take a walk. We'll get a little camaraderie and a little bs thing going on. So you'll be feel comfortable on the set. I said, Okay. We're chit chatting for a few minutes. I said, you know, you You look really familiar. He's like, Oh, I did this episodic and I did not that's no no, I did this and I did this. Nope, that's not it. He said I did this comedy. Maybe you saw it? I don't know. Your plane. As soon as he said it. I forgot everything that existed. It was like nothing had happened. airplane was one of my favorite movies. To this day. Forget fact when I was a kid to this day, so he said that and I went she'd man that mama Smith smile. lady got around the corner upside down his head. You know, at home. I could dig it. You know, in a big rap on you, man. I knew all the jive talk. He was the thing jive guy on the ILC. Well, this sent me into Mars. I mean, I shot off like a rocket. So of course now we I go back to my trailer. He goes inside. He tells the producer that he tells Ray Stark and Richard Donner. I don't know what kind of kid you're looking for. But if you're looking for a kid like Richard, this is your guy. He's crazy. He's nuts, he's fun. Okay, we get on the set and they had built like the staircase from like the movie. And we had some dialogue to read and we come down the stairs. We do it a couple times. Okay, you know, going back up again. And Richard Donna goes okay, Scotty, forget the dialogue. Do it in jive talk. So I just start mumbling words together. I'm just doing like a giant thing with him. We go back and forth. They're cracking up. They loved it. Okay, then he's like, go up. Yeah. Tell some jokes. Whatever you want. I don't care. Just tell jokes. Well, I'm 13 years old. What is a 13 year old? No, I only know dirty jokes. So I'm coming down the stairs. I start telling the guy dirty jokes. They're all adult dirty, humorous jokes. My agent is there who I'd been with since I started my dad's there. My agents like I'm going to kill him. Can't do this stuff. Can't talk like this. You know, whatever. My father's like, I don't know. It worked. Because it was exactly what they wanted. They wanted a kid that could play off of Richard knowing how Richard was it just went like this. It just came together. Incredibly. So of course, you know, that's how I get the movie.

Jeff Dwoskin 13:30

So that's really cool. Maybe it was a blessing that Richard wasn't there. The divorce oh five

Scott Schwartz 13:37

isn't completely I mean, I'm sure I would have had fun with Richard anyway. But it was just different because of what I did and where I went. And it was just my instincts and just me being me. I mean, like 95 98% of the film. I got to be up here and a couple percent I got to be down here and said that they wanted this guy I knew who Gleason was. I was a huge smoking the bandit junkie. I know every line every mannerism he does I know it back when I was a kid. I love the hustler. I love The Honeymooners. So I know who he is. Prior. I'd seen stir crazy I had seen guy even got to see live on the Sunset Strip right before we started shooting. You know, my father never cared about language. She's like, I don't care about that. So they say words, who cares? You know, nobody's killing anybody. Okay, so I knew who they were. You get that first feeling about people. They had brought me out for wardrobe fitting in Los Angeles before right before we went to Louisiana to shoot the film. And I'm in Richard Donner's office playing a pinball machine. And Richard Pryor walked in and take Donner goes, Scotty, you got to stop for a second if somebody wants to say hi. And I turned to my right. And there's Richard Pryor standing in front of me. And I said, Hello, Mr. Pryor. It's an absolute pleasure. He goes, No, no, no, no, no. You could stop that. Now. You call me Richard. Rick dick. I don't care what you call me. Just don't ever call me Mr. Pryor. That was my fault. It was a feeling so we had camaraderie right away. Gleason. He was down in Louisiana. We had the meet and greet kind of a thing. So it's the producers the director, you know everybody around a big table, you know, my dad, whatever, and a few the other cast members and not even Hello. Not even Hello. Dick Donner knew that I had done all the smoking the bandit stuff for him and whatever. And he's like Scotty, go over to Mr. Gleason. And do that thing that you do to share a thing. I'm four foot five and a half. I we 52 pounds. So I'm standing next to Jackie Gleason. He's still taller than I am. You know, him sitting down, you know. And I walked over and I just I looked at him. I didn't say hello. I said, there's no way no way that you could come from my loins. Soon as we get home. The first thing I'm going to do is punch your mama in the mouth. Well, he started laughing. And he goes, is that all? You know? I said, No. He said, Well keep going. So now I'm doing more of Gleason stick to Gleason. And he hated working with kids and animals hated it. They told me he hated it. But the minute that I did that, impersonation is the highest form of flattery. He knew I knew who he was, and I wanted to learn from him different relationship all together, and we had a blast.

Jeff Dwoskin 16:10

That's incredible. That's, that's really. So you must be you must be, have been a huge movie fan. I mean, to have seen all those things into in turn. That's how I got

Scott Schwartz 16:21

I got into show business. Every father does something with the kids on Saturdays, whether it's go to the trail, they go fishing, they go hunting, hiking, biking, whatever. My father was a movie guy. So I started I was about five and a half years old, and every Saturday we would go to the movies together. And when I said we would go to the movies, we lived in New Jersey, about an hour from Manhattan, we would drive in, we'd leave 930 in the morning, by 11 o'clock. We're at this place called Town Hall. It was right at excuse me, 43rd and Broadway, we would see a short, The Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy whatever it was 20 minutes short, we'd see a cartoon, and then you'd see a feature of some kind. And then you'd see a chapter of a cereal. Like let's say they were playing Flash Gordon conquers the universe with Buster crap. This week. They're showing chapter one next week is chapter two. The next week is chapter three, you got to keep coming every week to see the whole thing I was going we got done with that we'd walk the 42nd Street see a double feature. I saw every kung fu piece of crap that was made between 73 and 79. Everything between the kung fu pictures, the horror pictures, everything that came out, I saw my favorite zombie made 1980 came out. I saw the theaters I was 12 years old, you know, after that we would go to dinner with and then other guys would join us and then we go to this film club right outside the link right inside the Lincoln Tunnel in New York. After going a couple of years, one of the guys from the film club said hey, I'm producing a commercial. You're very outgoing. You're very photogenic. I think it'd be great if you want to do it. It's three days in Miami Beach. It's for you who chocolate drink with Yogi Berra. I'm a Yankee fan. I've been since I was a kid, Lou Gehrig, you know. And really I like mantle more than Maris but whatever. But you know, but Thurman Munson was my guy because I get to watch him on television. I'm like, this is Yogi. Okay, let's go. My dad's like, Sure. Why not? And that's that's how I got into

Jeff Dwoskin 18:12

the business. That's pretty cool. Yeah, growing up in movies was all I did. I mean, even through high school, college. There wasn't a time when the movie didn't come out on Friday. I hadn't seen it two times. On Saturday. I love going to the movies. My claim to fame as I saw Eddie and the cruisers 2 Eddie lives in the theater.

Scott Schwartz 18:31

Okay, well in that. Michael Paré is one of my good friends.

Jeff Dwoskin 18:37

Okay, well, you tell him I sat in the theater.

Scott Schwartz 18:40

Okay. I love Eddie and the cruisers the streets of fire. There's no question monster fan. So let's see. I saw Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band with the beegees and Peter Frampton in the theater and I was in the theater for about eight seconds.

Jeff Dwoskin 18:53

That was a long eight seconds.

Scott Schwartz 18:56

Yeah. And because I was near Philly, they they had there was another film that had come out there was a smash hit with nobody. It was called the fish that saved Pittsburgh with Julius Erving Dr. j. s. And and Meadowlark lemon. And Stockard Channing. branscomb. Richmond who was in Oh God, the show with Lorenzo Lamas. I can't ever think of the title of damn show Hopkins crest, which was on the motorcycle. Oh, I

Jeff Dwoskin 19:25

did one. Okay.

Scott Schwartz 19:26

So it was in the theaters for about eight seconds. So you're like me, whatever came out,

Jeff Dwoskin 19:30

you went to see went to see no, no, no, it's nothing was nothing was good or bad enough. You and Richard Pryor had amazing chemistry in that movie. Well, you know, a second but before I want to hear about that, too, because I'm sure you have stories, but do you think that movie could be made today? I was watching the preview. You know, I'd say I remember seeing that movie a million times. Okay, so I felt like I knew you like when I was like, Oh, I'm gonna talk to the guys for it's absolutely but like

Scott Schwartz 19:58

I I been asked the question before. And I kind of just say, listen, what is the film itself? It's a movie about a kid who really just wants his father to love him. So it's a relationship movie. The key to the game is Richard, because the kid thinks if he buys a black man from a father who's not in a big fan of black people, he's going to piss him off, you know, whatever. But it ends up the relationships work. And at the end of the film, you get the pay off the kid and the Father, I love you and all that. Richard is just the cog in it was he got paid? What is it? $3,000 then he gets paid $10,000 at the end, or whatever it is, when that baby comes to see him and all that stuff. It's not a slavery movie. They weren't out picking cotton in the field. I mean, come on, ridiculous.

Jeff Dwoskin 20:45

Oh, no, I don't think that at all.

Scott Schwartz 20:46

Yeah, no. Ship movie. Well, no, but people have started to pull it apart. And I'm like, you're not seeing what this is. Really. It's one guy from a part of America as a as a black man who's playing with a white kid who has no idea how what a friend is how to make things work. And there's no nasty language. There's no racist stop none of that. It's it's people coming together as Richard and I did. So I mean, that, again, I think that the fact that we had a good rapport and a good relationship helped the movie in what it is, can they make it today? We're going to have in it, you know that they got to have a track record. It can't just be some new somebody because they'll tear it to shreds. You know, you're gonna put Kevin Hart and you put Kevin Hart and everything you know, Eddie Griffin, the undercover brother, he would be great. Dave Chappelle would be spherical.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:39

Yeah, the the chemistry and every I mean, that all worked. I mean, it's a wonderful

Scott Schwartz 21:44

thing. Doing Klansmen ends up in the in the mousse, chocolate mousse bowl. You know, it's a comedy. It's not real life. You know, I

Jeff Dwoskin 21:54

know, I just I just met I was watching the one scene where he's like, I want to buy him. Oh, of course. Yeah. That's why I want to buy them. Yeah, I want to buy the black man. And yeah, I was just like, oh, wow, they would that would just be destroyed today. The your relationship, as I understand it, went beyond the film, or after the film, too. Yeah. You had a very long friend. We

Scott Schwartz 22:17

were friends. We were friends until he passed. I mean, we spoke even when, you know, right after we did the film, he was going to London to shoot Superman three. And, you know, I can't call London back then. You know, from New Jersey, whatever.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:31

That'd be expensive.

Scott Schwartz 22:32

Yeah. But he sent me a telegram. He sent me a Western Union telegram. And it said, Scott, Miss you hope you're having a great summer. Talk to you soon. Love Richard. PS. lay him down and smack him. Yeah, come from airplane chairs. Yeah. And when he got home, we spoke right about the time, Mike my senior year of high school. I didn't speak to him. He had moved closed up his production company sold the house. And now we had all this phone numbers. And I came out too late. It took me like three months. And then I reconnected with him. And we were friends from that day until the day he passed. There was nobody, nobody liked this guy. Nobody. We would cut he called me up. What are you doing? Nothing. Come on over. And we'd sit and watch movies and Bs and whatever, you know. So he knew all the things that I loved and I knew all the things that he loved. That's friends. That's what you learn about friends. He called me up one day, it was on like a Tuesday or Wednesday. 1030 in the morning, what are you doing? Nothing. Come on over. So I go over I get there he goes, Okay, let's go. I need to go in a house. Where are we going? Uh, don't worry about it come out to go. So we jump in the white Rolls Royce. And I got it. I always say that. I said we jumped into white and it's hysterical because it's Richard driving me into white Rolls Royce. We go down to Paramount Studios. And you know, you get to any guard gate. Who are you who you're here to see we need to call whatever we get to the gate that guy looks at Oh, Mr. Pryor. How are you? So you go right ahead. You have a good day. So you know, we go in and we pull up to a one of the studio buildings soundstages and the sign on the door says coming to America. Not it's not me. It's not in the theaters. The movies being made. I don't know what this is rich, like ever going to see some of my friends I want you to meet Okay, fine. We walked in 10 feet in front of me James Earl Jones. Now we lost it. I'm like Darth Vader. Yeah, because I was a Star Wars Darth Vader fanatic. Okay, Richard knew I loved good times. There's Johnny most the battle. And I'm still friends with him. I'm friends with john To this day, I still talk to him. You know, and then meeting Edie and meeting our CTO and here we go. This was Richard. This is what he wanted. He wanted me to meet his friends. Yeah, really? Well.

Yeah. It's one thing when Bob you know, the carpenter says, Hey, this is Mike buddy, whatever. Nobody cares. When Richards when Richard Pryor is bringing you to a set and saying this is my boy. That's different. And that I mean, that was Richard. He opened up doors, never ending doors, you know, and just he said to me several times you're the white son I never had. Thank you.

Jeff Dwoskin 25:01

That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, it's nice that you were blessed with such a friendship. And I was just kind of looking at I realized he had died 15 years ago and I was just like, it's been 15 years, Mike. December 10. oh five. Oh, wow. It's just like,

Scott Schwartz 25:14

Yeah, he died. He passed on the same day, December 10 that the toy opened in the movie theaters. Oh, wow. So every December 10 I go here

Jeff Dwoskin 25:24

happy sad.

Happy sad. Yeah. Well, that sounds like you have a lot more happy. Yeah, it's it sounds like that was that was a great first movie. You had such amazing fascinating experience. Well, I

Scott Schwartz 25:38

had teachers I wanted to learn. I you know, I mean, I was my agent said to me, you know, we know you're smart. We know all that. My dad said the same thing. We know you're smart. But realistically here you're a dummy. You know nothing You don't know anything about moviemaking. Keep your mouth shut. Open your eyes keep you know keep your eyes open and your ears open and learn everything you can

Jeff Dwoskin 26:00

Yeah, we had some crazy teachers on that first movie that was

Scott Schwartz 26:05

keep my mouth shut but that's because I was asking questions you know when I wanted to, to know things in my background knowing Hollywood and movies and theater. My one of my favorite movies growing up to this day is Yankee Doodle Dandy with James Cagney. He's playing George M. Cohan. Gleason is from the Brooklyn and the Bronx in New York and I'm going you know what I got to ask him you know, he was theory at that time would he you know what I said to him, I said pop by you. I would call him dad pop whatever. Just didn't call him Jackie. That was a respect thing. You couldn't call him Jackie but I called dad and pop that was okay. And I said did you ever get a chance to meet George M Cohan he goes Georgie Of course we play pool we did this we did that I'm going oh my god. So that was a part of it. But it was talking to Richard playing video games with him at night, you know, in the hotel and just asking questions and wanting to learn and being informed and taking it all in. You know, I turned 14 while we were shooting so it's not like I was seven and I don't remember any of it. I remember all of it.

Jeff Dwoskin 27:09

Right? It is so great. So your other classic movie the Christmas story. You did these back to back you did the toy A Christmas Story and kidco like right?

Scott Schwartz 27:20

Actually I did the toy then I did kidco but it didn't come out for a little while. Christmas story so Christmas story is the third one

Jeff Dwoskin 27:28

got it got it got it but they weren't released in that order right the

Scott Schwartz 27:32

no okay toy I did the big I did it the beginning middle of 82 and it was already out that Christmas because no special effects. Not a really hard movie to edit. So they got it out. We finished in July and it came out in December kidco. I started in October we got done. We finished shooting December 10 on a Friday the same day the toy opened up in the theaters Christmas story I started the end of January

Jeff Dwoskin 27:55

boom that was a good run the Christmas story seems to be people remember the mall but the Christmas story one seems a heavy when I see stories about you and stuff like that it a lot of nostalgia around the Christmas story, a lot of events around the Christmas story.

Scott Schwartz 28:11

Part, it's become part of Americana, you know, you've got a film with no big stars, no special effects from a studio that didn't even want to make it. They didn't even want to release it. It had it had the small little run then it goes on video and cable and it gets this following you know, and in 96 Turner buys it as part of the MGM package that he bought for TBS and TNT, they start the marathon and it takes on a whole nother light of its own a whole nother life of its own. There's been no movie to come out. And 20 years later, they start making merchandise. That doesn't happen.

Jeff Dwoskin 28:49

That's amazing. So your big scene where you get your triple dog dare to stick your tongue to the frozen Paul, how long did you stay there with your tongue to this the

Scott Schwartz 29:02

first time we shot it was 12 and a half hours and the second time we shot it was 11 and a half hours. They had underdeveloped the film so we had to go back and shoot it the second time.

Jeff Dwoskin 29:12

So is that really your tongue? Or is that a stun tongue Oh, and that was

Scott Schwartz 29:16

really my tongue plus it was a there's a real poll that a piece of plastic they put over it with a hole in it about the size of your pinky nail with a tube that went into the snow with a little motor. So it's sort of acted like a small vacuum cleaner. That's really the image to give everybody just so it was a that was at it. No pain involved. You know, they're not breaking child labor laws. None of that stuff. No, no, no. But it does work. I mean, you know, if you go and you stick your tongue to anything frozen, that's metal, your stock kids have done it. They did it back then they just do it to the railroad tracks in the Midwest, you know, Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois, can it would work and then they were stuck and people were panicking and all this you know, whatever. So I tell people listen, if you really Want to try and just throw a spoon in your freezer for 10 minutes and take it out, make sure you have hot water at the end, put your tongue on the spoon, you are stuck, pour the hot water, it'll come off.

Jeff Dwoskin 30:10

You want to experience the joy of having a tongue Krazy Glue, there's

Scott Schwartz 30:17

got to be almost to two holiday seasons ago now. And in 18 I was in Illinois, and a kid comes up and he's you know, 1213 somewhere in there, you know. And with his family, you know, they want an autograph and whatever this is, you know, hey, there was a kid a couple weeks ago that did it. You know, in western part of Illinois. I said, Oh, yeah, they called me. You know, I told them the kids a schmuck. You know, it's a movie, don't be doing that stuff. He goes, that was me. See, couldn't wait to meet me. And it was great because I was doing Q and A's at a movie theater. And I used him as a human prop the whole day. I said, No, you can't leave. I gotta use you. Come on.

Jeff Dwoskin 30:53

That's funny. I read that Vich one named you the 85th greatest kids star of all time. How can we get we need to get you up to at least $2 gets me a cup

Scott Schwartz 31:05

of coffee, or $3 gets me a cup of coffee. It was funny because they had called they called all of us really, or most everybody that was on the list. And they wanted you to name who you thought or not really named who you thought but talk about other child stars. I talked about Alfonso Ribeiro from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air silver spoons, but he had done the tap dance kid before that, you know, and even the Pepsi commercial with Michael Jackson and all that he could sing act dance comedy. He was in my view, the most well rounded of all of the child stars of the 80s there was no question because he could do anything I talked about Macaulay Culkin, you know, I talked about Gary Coleman, Gary and I were friends I've never actually met, you know, Macaulay somehow, somehow in this crazy world. I haven't met him yet. But it's like, okay, but that mean, there were some really, really great young performers during that time.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:53

Oh, absolutely. So you always hear like, kid kid actors having issues you seem to be extremely perfect.

Scott Schwartz 32:01

You and I spoke beforehand. Yeah. Know where I come from my uncle was in your area, Alan Schwartz, the singing window washer and a comic to anybody who listened to that you might know my uncle Alan. I came from a lower middle class family. My dad was a window cleaner. My mom worked. She manages 711 growing up and you know, then she worked for at&t and whatever a lot of things have to do with my friends that were back home in Jersey, they kept me pretty grounded. And life philosophy came from Richard, you and I were just house one day I was this was like, 8889. So I'm like 2021. And I said to him one one day I said, Richard, I have a question. You don't have an ego. You're friendly to people, you're kind to people. He says, Well, how much is does that pay? And I said, well, it's not a thing about money. It's a mindset. He goes, No, no, I know what it is. But if it's not going to help me with my family, my home put food on the table. It's a waste of time, I'm not more important, really than anybody else. He goes, we all eat sleep, go to the bathroom get dressed the same way I put my pants on the same way. So when you hear philosophy like that, from that kind of person, you get molded into something that probably would not have been if I wasn't fortunate enough to have him as my teacher.

Jeff Dwoskin 33:14

Yo, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, having a good mentor is always always key.

Scott Schwartz 33:19

I'm 30, I'm 1314 years old, and he's telling me Listen, you're gonna always have my phone number. You got to think about drugs or booze or this. Just call me first. I can tell you what everything does. You don't have to think well, how's this gonna make me feel? I don't know. It just call me. So literally, that's my teacher. And the times that I call them. God bless him rest his soul and love them to death than me and never said to me, Hey, man, I'm busy right now. I just can't I don't have time to talk to you. That just never happened. I was in good hands.

Jeff Dwoskin 33:49

That is that is great that he took care of you. You were part of a charity right? Or you were a minor?

Scott Schwartz 33:57

Right? Yeah, minor consideration for child labor laws. It's a 501, c three, a minor consideration.org. It helps anybody in any type of show business actress, singer, dancer, musician, whatever it is. It's for child labor laws. You know, they try and change the laws in and around the country. You know, there are things that people think oh, therefore, you know, oh, children, this or children that and that's just not the way it is. Only in LA or California, Georgia, New York. You know, New Jersey, do they have the Coogan law, which is a certain amount of money that goes into an account for the kid. So when he's 18 there's money there, but it's a small percentage. And how many hours a day a kid can work like all three films I did. We're outside of La there you know outside of any of those places. I shot kidco in Tucson Arizona shot Christmas story in Cleveland, Ohio and Canada shot the toy in Louisiana. Didn't have nothing for labor laws back then. I worked overtime all the time. You know you can't do that in California. You can't work a kid overtime. You is eight hours you know, three hours of school one hour for lunch or hours of work. Go home. That's it. That's what they got to do.

Jeff Dwoskin 35:07

Your Richard, Richard.

Scott Schwartz 35:12

I'm working 10-12 hour days on the toy, no problem didn't care having the time of my life. Christmas story. I work 10-11 hour days, you know a couple days turn on the flagpole. Those are both overtime days. And on kidco. practically the whole eight weeks we shot I did overtime every day, every day. But that's that's a whole nother story unto itself. I do the toy, and I get kidco. And the shooting schedule was until December 22. That was going to be right before Christmas, we're going to finish. And so we had the little meet and greet meeting whatever. The day before we're going to start shooting at the hotel in Tucson. And I asked I said to the director and the producer, I said hey, can I talk to you guys for a minute before we break up? Sure, no problem. So everybody else left. So it's, you know, Frankie blondes and David nibin, Jr, who had 70 years of experience between them. Ron Maxwell, the director who had done all kinds of things, the Knights the light went out Georgia and a bunch of other films. He went on to Gettysburg, incredible director, and the first ad me and my dad and I said listen, guys, guys, we got to shoot this movie, we got to get it done fast. I got to be out of here, December 10, the toys in the theaters I got promotion to do and PR and all that they threw me out of the room immediately. Go, they literally pointed across the hall was a little arcade in the hotel, the game room. They kept my dad there I will over and they're like, Listen, if we're gonna have a problem with your kid, we can we can let you guys go home now we'll get somebody else to do it. But movies don't get made faster, they get made slower. That's just how this is. And my father, you know, knew me. And he's like, Listen, my kid just got done with four months of Pryor and Gleason and Richard Donner and Ray star. He believes he's Godzilla. He Secretariat he had on his back. He's going to ride you to the finish line. And they're like, Oh, God, a parent is telling us how movies get made. So they call me back in the room. And you know, sitting like at the World Series of Poker, are they going to call my bluff or they're not going to call my bluff? They don't know. They call my bluff. Okay, Scotty, you want to get this movie done faster. What's the first thing you want to do? 14 years old, out of my mouth came looks I looked at the shooting schedule. Why are we shooting at the house here in the house here make those days together. We're shooting at the courthouse here was sure to get the courthouse that we should do. And they just looked at me because they never expected in the answer. They went, Okay, they left it was me in the first day day my dad even went back to the room. We sat there for almost three hours. So almost midnight, and it's 630 call time the next morning to go to work. Well, we redid the shooting schedule. I worked overtime every day. My dad went home we had somebody else who was watching me on a set of family friend and how it's supposed to be is somebody from production is supposed to contact the parent or the guardian and ask permission to shoot over time. They would they would say Scotty we're gonna work overtime. Why don't you ask you know, your uncle or my Uncle Ben, who really was just a family friend, or call your dad or whatever you do. Okay, fine. And I'd walk into my trailer grab a bottle of water. He'd say, what's up? Nothing. I just want a bottle of water. I'd walk outside they say everything. Oh, yeah, let's do it. I was my own guy. I run my own show already.

Jeff Dwoskin 38:23

Just like kid could just exactly just like Dickey

Scott Schwartz 38:26

exactly like Dickey Cessna, there's no question. I mean, we were Boogie in the scene in the courtroom where I have that long diatribe, but long dialogue back and forth. And this whole thing, I just, I just use this as one of the examples. My call time was like 730 in the morning. I tell the the transportation coordinator to pick me up at a quarter to 745 minutes early. He picked me up we go to the set. I grab my coffee, I grabbed my bagel. I grabbed the cameraman. Let's go in the courtroom. So we go into courtroom and I said Listen, I just want to do pacing. I'm gonna walk just get my pacing down. Now they're gonna lay tracks with a dolly for the camera and everything you know, and he's pacing me Okay, we did three or four times. Then they got the track laid down. They get the dolly in we did a couple times. Just me and him. Nobody else is in the room. No extras. No family at the table. Nothing. Just me and him. Now everybody comes in. We're ready to shoot. Okay, fine. And Ron Maxwell. The director goes, Okay, we got two days to shoot the scene. So let's take our time we'll rehearse everything. We'll get it down. Whatever. First thing out of my mouth. Ron, we got it. Let's just shoot it. And he looked at the cat. He looks at me. They looked at the cameraman the captain captain and goes yeah, I think I think we'll be fine. I've got his pacing. We're all good. And Ron, it was like four or five weeks into shooting Ron and trusted me enough that we're shooting 35 millimeter. We're not going to waste any film. And we went from two days of shooting. We were done an hour after lunch that day.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:52

That's pretty cool. So are there any parts they got away? Or they that could have been a Scottish It's your like, I wish I'd got that.

Scott Schwartz 40:04

Yes. But it's something that is so minute that nobody would know it and nobody would care. It was a ABC movie of the week with Richard Thomas called to find my son. I mean, I remembered it. So I'm nine years old, and you're nine, nine and a half, whatever the hell I was. We're talking over 40 years ago, and I still remember like, it was yesterday. And I went in five times, and it was a kid with like autism. And it was a great role. And I killed it. I mean, the audition that I mean, I went up seven times for this damn thing. And I got down to the final two kids. It was me and another kid. The casting director told my dad, talent wise, your son is better. Looks wise. Your son is just too damn cute. They said to him, I get

Jeff Dwoskin 40:51

that all the time, Scott. Yeah,

Scott Schwartz 40:53

I was just too damn cute for that particular role. And they wanted the kid that wasn't quite as cute as I was. Okay. So I didn't get it. It took me. Oh, God. Now it's been two years. So let's see him 3132 years to actually meet Richard Thomas. And I told him the whole story. And he's, you know, I said, Hello. We talked for me, she's Come sit down. I told him the whole story. He goes, I can't even believe that you would remember something like this. I said, and I told him, I said, I wasn't a Waltons fan. I wasn't like this diehard that was just dying to meet. You know, I love the character. It was just, I just fell in love with this kid. You know, and I really wanted to do it. He's like, Oh, my God

Jeff Dwoskin 41:34

couldn't believe it. The one that got away. So you're still acting now where I mean, you're doing called the quarantine bunch.

Scott Schwartz 41:42

Yeah, we did that month, several months ago. You know, the beginning of this whole lockup, nonsense and whatever. And so it said myself and a bunch of other ex child stars enrolled. Child stars is what they are Keith Coogan, Todd bridges, Judy Norton, who was the voice of Judy Jetson, Melissa Disney who was child actress, but she does the voiceover stuff for the Academy Award. Now she's on the Emmy, stuff like that. It was a bunch of fun people, Jeremy Miller from growing pains that I'm friends with, and we all had a good time with it. We don't ever give up acting. It's the worst profession in the world. You could be the greatest actor since the creation of bread. But if you walk in the room, and the producer goes, you know, you're five foot to it. I really look for somebody five foot six year done. I'm really looking for somebody with like whitish blondish hair. And I have Sandy dark, you know, you're done. It has nothing to do. It has 10% to do with talent. 80% to do with luck, and 10% to do with looks. That's really what it is. Right Place right time. Everything has to just come together to you.

Jeff Dwoskin 42:47

You got anything coming up?

Scott Schwartz 42:49

I'm working on a TV pilot with Todd bridges. Oh, that's fine. from different trucks. Yeah, sure. Sure. That's cool. And I don't I don't I don't let the cat out of the bag. What it's about none of that kind of stuff. But it's a pretty it's a pretty fun show. Old school. Not all PC. It's two guys from two different parts of the world coming together kind of like me and Richard, but not exactly the same vein. It's nothing like the toy, none of that. But it's quite fun and creative. And so far, you know, everybody that knows about the project just wants in.

Jeff Dwoskin 43:19

That's exciting. All right. Well, I'm excited for you. We look forward to seeing that. That's that's gonna be awesome.

Scott Schwartz 43:24

You can't do it at this moment. Because you know, you can't do almost nothing. But yeah, one day I'm soon You know,

Jeff Dwoskin 43:31

sometimes doing that the world will clear up and you entire bridges will entertain the world once again.

Scott Schwartz 43:36

Well, yeah. Listen, I've known him over 30 years. You know, the day that that Gary passed, I called him and the day that Dana passed, he called me You know, we're brothers from another mother as they say,

Jeff Dwoskin 43:49

it's great that you've maintained you maintain all these relationships throughout your entire life. It's It's pretty cool.

Scott Schwartz 43:54

You know, listen, there are things that open doors, doing the toy, opened a lot of doors Christmas story didn't open up doors for 15 years, but whatever, but it comes down to the kind of person you are. If you're a jackass, you're in and out in five minutes. If you're a decent human being you're a good person, you treat people with respect. I don't care what race color creed you're I don't make no difference. But I mean, it's like, you know, good friends Shaquille O'Neal, Barry Bonds Eddie Griffin, a bunch of other NBA guys and guys have played baseball you know, whatever. It's the kind of person you are, you know that you're not just going to get into the circle if you're a schmuck.

Jeff Dwoskin 44:33

And you sir are no schmuck, you are a good guy. Thank you so much. I appreciate you spending time man.

Scott Schwartz 44:38

Yeah, no problem. Not it's been fun man. You know, so

Jeff Dwoskin 44:41

cool. Yeah, it was a it's a have to do it again sometime after your big show comes out with Todd and we'll do a real part two. If you're not, if you're not too famous for me.

Scott Schwartz 44:53

I got a book that'll be out. It should have been out this year, but because of COVID they pushed it all back to next year. So next September. It'll be out

Jeff Dwoskin 45:00

How can people keep up with you? Where do you post on social

Scott Schwartz 45:03

Scott Schwartz actor on Facebook. Now Scott Schwartz actor ,

Jeff Dwoskin 45:09

awesome everyone. Check that out. Awesome, man. Well, thank you so much. I can't Yeah, it's been great. This isn't great stories. I loved it. Loved it. Hello. Oh, okay. Oh, sorry about that my tongue was stuck to the microphone. Hey, anyway, how awesome was that? That was Scott Schwartz. So fun hearing stories from the toy and A Christmas Story in kidco. Such a great guy was a lot of fun talking to him. Check him out on Facebook, look for his project with Todd bridges. And also keep an eye out for his book. I would like to also triple dog dare you to subscribe to the Jeff Dwoskin show. Sign up for our mailing list. Tell the friend tell the friends spread the Christmas chair and tell all your friends about the Jeff Dwoskin show.

Also tell them that hey, they should download the hashtag roundup app that's right at hashtag roundup on Twitter. Tell them hey, if you play one of these hashtag games, you could end up on the Jeff Dwoskin show and this show is no exception. That's right. We went deep. We found a great hashtag #NewEndingsToXmasMovies. Let's stay with the Christmas movie theme and go deep into these amazing new endings to Christmas movies from Takie tags a weekly game on hashtag Roundup.

As always, these tweeters will be retweeted at Jeff Dwoskin show. Their tweets will also be in the show notes, retweet them, show them some love and you play along and one day you'll be on the Jeff Dwoskin show. All right, here we go. #NewEndingsToXmasMovies. ralphie shoots everyone else's eyes out. I think Scott Schwartz is gonna like that the web bandits decide to work for Trump course after bumping into my hotel. Hakim gets recruited by McDonald's. McDonald's is always losing their best people to McDonald's. Kevin McAllister adopts the underworld nickname snakes and leaves the wed bandits on a crime spree the likes of which has never been seen before the Grinch stays home starts a Twitter account ralphie his brother's the inventor of life alert I've fallen and I can't get up jingle all the way Arnie takes out Sinbad commando style Clark gridwall gets sentenced to electric chair for electrocuting Christmas carolers with his excessive Christmas lights. The Grinch his heart grew three sizes, the Grinch is immediately rushed into open heart surgery. Everything that happened on 34th Street was a scam. The actual miracle took place on 35th Street and finally#NewEndingsToXmasMovies. Clark Griswold passes on the bonus and ends up taking the jelly out of the month membership club and lives happily ever after. And those are the #NewEndingsToXmasMovies brought to you by hashtag round up talkie tags and all those fabulous tweeters.

And you know what? We're here at the end of Episode 33. I can't believe it. Another episode has come and gone. I hope you enjoy your holidays. I hope you have an amazing new year though. I think we'll see you one more time before then. Until then, have a great one.

Announcer 48:13

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host Jeff Dwoskin. Go repeat everything you've heard and sound like a genius. catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

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