#18 The Joke Man Cometh with Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling

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Jeff Dwoskin 0:19

All right, Greg, thank you so much for that amazing introduction gets me going all the time. All right. Welcome to Episode 18. of the Jeff Dwoskin show. As always, I'm Jeff Dwoskin. Glad to have you back for another episode. And this one is gonna be amazing. special guest today is Jackie the joke, man martling. You know, Jackie, from 18 years on the Howard Stern Show. But here's the funny thing. We don't even talk about the Howard Stern Show. We talk about all their early years that lead up to the Howard Stern Show. And then here's a great part. Jackie's gonna come back. And we're gonna go deep into the Howard Stern Show and the time there, and he wants to answer all of your questions. So how are we going to collect all those questions? Great question. You guys are amazing. With your questions. Go to at @JeffDwoskinShow on Twitter. And posted there will be me using the answers Rn app. Jeff, you mean from Episode Two of the Jeff Dwoskin show that amazing app that allows you to take questions and answers on the internet with these? Yes, that app. Everything you learn here comes around again so that we can apply it to real life. You learn something today. Anyway, so yeah, so go there, submit any question you'll hear in the interview? Nothing's off limits. ask any question you want Jackie to answer about his time on the Howard Stern Show. How cool is that? That's because, Jackie, is that cool. So again, go to at Jeff Dwoskin show on Twitter, and just click and you'll see the cool app, you record your question to me, don't worry, I won't post the video anywhere. It's just a fun way for me to collect it and show off my friends cool app. Again, that app is answers Rn, and I'll put the link to it in the show notes so you can check it out and maybe use it for yourself or on your Twitter page or your Facebook etc, etc. Lots of good uses.

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Okay, time for the interview. Oh, this I am so excited. I'm so excited. You know, I reached out to Jackie I said, Hey, Jackie, he was like hell yeah, Jeff, I'll come on your show. There are a few dirty jokes during the conversation but it is Jackie the joke man. So if you need to, at certain times, just do the earmuffs thing. And get ready for my conversation with Jackie the joke man martling All right. All right. I have a special guest with me today. You know from 18 years. Stern Show. You see him ristic rats if you're lucky have caught him on XM Sirius on his own show playing stump the joke man. Ladies and gentlemen from New York, Jackie the Joke Man Martling. How Are you?

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 5:13

Ah, I'm enjoying pouring the browser world with you my old friend. Yes, yes, I think I think we have landed on it. I'm not seeing you since Detroit. It was such a great, great time in Detroit. I don't know if you remember or if you were known, but the night of that event, the original pig virus from w NBC was that? If not, they're not i'm not Paul Giamatti. I'm talking about the actual guy. Kevin. Yeah, I have to take his name, but the actual guy from WBC that got through. He was he was there in the flesh. Kevin. Ah, I didn't think of it still. You just talk and then? Hey, great to see him. I didn't see him. 20 years, 30 years, whatever, you know, no. People out random would that have been but you know, I wouldn't walk around said hey, who remembers how it started? 30 years ago. Do you remember this guy wouldn't have done that. You know. So that's an odd little thing. I got a picture on somewhere.

Jeff Dwoskin 6:17

Oh, man, I wish I had known that. I would. That would have been a great picture again.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 6:22

Yeah. And I think he passed away like two years later. So Oh, my goodness.

Jeff Dwoskin 6:27

Well, that was a 2014 was the events that we did mins for Detroit. But with Erin Cummings pretty. That was awesome. So yeah, that was

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 6:38

are you still in contact with her?

Jeff Dwoskin 6:40

Yeah, actually, I just, we Facebook, and then I actually interviewed her for the podcast. I don't know what

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 6:47

you got to tell me. I Oh, sure. Just please tell her I said, Hey,

Jeff Dwoskin 6:52

I will. I will. I will. And of course I'm sure she remembers you. Yeah, she seems. She has a hard goal. For all that means pretty trite stuff. So I'm sure the fact that you actually did the show was very special to her. So

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 7:05

well. I felt like a little bit of a dick because I got paid for doing it. I didn't get paid a lot. But I did get paid, you know, but it's a big deal to get in a plane and go all the way out to Detroit though. But, man What? So understand is you're going to spend a lot of time spent a lot of time in Detroit when I was I was in Michigan State for seven years, back and forth in Detroit a million times are you from that?

Jeff Dwoskin 7:29

I'm from I'm from Michigan. Yeah. I grew up in a suburb of Detroit my whole life.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 7:34

And I'm scared to ask which one

Jeff Dwoskin 7:37

West Bloomfield.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 7:39

Ah,

Jeff Dwoskin 7:42

Well, actually I grew up in Farmington Hills. And then second half West Bloomfield,

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 7:46

so my girlfriend was from Oak Park and a good friend of mine lived in Roseville, and my roommate was from Lavanya.

Jeff Dwoskin 7:54

Well, there you go. So you you you just went to college at MSU my daughter goes there now.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 8:00

Yeah, go right through for MSU I supposed to graduate in 71. I mean, 70 I graduated 71. But I stayed in town doing rock and roll for no two years. But me it took me seven years to get out of that town was a little little too much fun. You know, I guess

Jeff Dwoskin 8:17

I'm obligated to say go green.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 8:19

Yeah.

All right. Well, that's it's, you know, it's really great. Oh, I first started getting a little bit famous people interview, you know, and they asked me questions. So many of these interviewers, they interview you over the phone, and they don't record it or write they just talk to you. And then they write down what they remember. And if I could tell you how many interviews they say, and Jackie martling went to University of Michigan. I used to call up and complain then one day woke up and said, Wait a minute. They're handing you 700 sH points Shut up.

Man, yeah, we're

leaving I have to do with U of M is in. In 1968. I went in 1967. For 1967. I went to jail in Ann Arbor.

Jeff Dwoskin 9:14

an overnight thing or a little more

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 9:16

for Fall of 1966. This is so great. My roommates from Lavanya. But the second week that we're there, his family comes up. And he's slaving and my mother and father they I don't know if they've ever been in touch each other a little on me. And his next parents come up. They're the greatest people in the world. And when they're leaving, he kisses his father goodbye on the lips, which is like a little bit foreign to me who I don't know if my father even shook my hand. But there were the sweetest people in the world Two weeks later, three weeks later. One of our friends has an older brother that goes to U of M so we got an A u of U event for the Michigan Michigan State football game. Of course. We don't have to Tickets are at his brother's house, get drunk out of our minds. And the game we go out drink and we wind up at some party and I was so loaded. And I came out and I was so belligerent that the cops was like, they looked at my buddies and Nick and Chris, they said, what are we gonna do? We got to take this guy, take them in and they're like, duck, go ahead. So I go to jail in Ann Arbor, after been in Michigan for over four weeks, six weeks. I know nobody, no idea what to do. I called my roommates father in Lavonia. from Ann Arbor, I met the guy once he took me out for a beautiful steak dinner, we all bonded and got along great. I caught this father came from Lavanya to Ann Arbor, bail me out of jail, and then drove me back to Michigan State. And I got to tell you, we were best friends for years, if you can possibly believe that is I mean, how crazy how the hell I got a hold of his father, I will never know. He came and bail me out of jail. I just think that's just fun. That is that is

Jeff Dwoskin 11:09

awesome.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 11:11

That I don't think that story in my book, you know, I got too many stupid story. I mean, there's no beginning and ending to that story other than I'm a jerk, you know?

Jeff Dwoskin 11:21

Have you been to jail since there was a your first time?

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 11:24

No, no, I six times, I think seven times something like that I went for. I didn't have enough money to pay a speeding ticket. It's funny. We're watching a movie last night called the wrong man with Henry Fonda. And he gets fingered as as the robbery suspect. But he was totally innocent. But they wind up shuffling around New York and they put them in a paddy wagon, handcuffed to the other criminals. And I looked over at Barbara and said, I took that ride. I went to Staten Island to pay a speeding ticket and I didn't have enough money. And I said, Well judge, I'll go home and get the money. I don't know your walk. And my buddy had to run back from Staten Island to New York to try and dig up the money. He didn't get back by five o'clock. So they go around with a van and pick up everybody at all the small precincts. And I'm handcuffed between like a car robber and a murderer and there's like eight or 10 of us in the back of a paddy wagon. And here I want to fat I drove too fast on the 17 year old kid i can't i cannot define how frightened I was one of the guy I'm ever told us that people I get in one of the first things that happened they locked the door close the doors on these guys take the hairpin out of his belt and removes his handcuffs. Just takes too long sort of hands on the frame like Jesus and then just like all of Guthrie on the group w bench. I don't know if you know what that means. It went around the city, you know went around the truck. What did you do? What did you do? I cut my wife she pissed me off. What do you do? I stole a couple cars. They said what you do I said I went too fast.

So funny. I'm this little tiny blonde kid. Oh god. I'm sorry. She I told you I go on. No, these are great. Keep telling me more in jail. I went to jail for for stealing chairs. I worked at a country club. I worked at the most blueblood Country Club in the entire country. I know if you ever read the book, the Gold Coast about the North Shore of Long Island but piping our clubs. You know, the Kennedys couldn't get into piping rock club because they were Catholic one of those deals. And it was my parents anniversary. I had no money and we got a big shipment of chairs. They had debutante they still do have debutante parties, which are like two, three or four or 500 people and an orchestra and all these incredibly rich, spoiled people and the beautiful girls come out there first time in society. They have these beautiful gold chairs, but they're folding chairs because they got to store all these hundreds of chairs. And they come down with a nice velvet seat and they're beautiful and they came for in a pack. And after years and years they get worn out and worn out. So each year they buy a certain amount of new ones and throw away the ones that in the worst repair. So we got a shipment of a bunch of these. So I'm late at Piper North one night and I back my car up and I opened up the trunk of my 1961 Chrysler Imperial trunk that you could put a body in and put this big box of chairs in the back and stole a big thing of aluminum foil so we can smoke pot and then the night we're in the parking lot smoking pot and getting drunk and the bowling alley Portland cop pulls it and so we're a little freaked out and he sees this monstrous roll of aluminum foil, which is obviously stolen. He says what said I said you know it's mine, you know? And he just was a little freaked out me while I had I don't know a good sized chunk A hash in a paper in a plastic bag in my pocket. And I've read since then, how many people have choked I actually took the bag and tried to swallow the bag with the hash. And once a cop got there, and four or five of us are standing now we're a little freaked out. And he's asked him, What are you doing here and he knew something was up. And we just come from drinking all over the all these different bars. And he said, I'm calling for help and whatever. But I took the bag and tried to swallow the bag with the hash in it, and it got caught in my throat like a piece of roasted. And I went like, like that, try and get it out. To me. That was like signaling to the cop that I just tried to swallow and he didn't hear. I take the bag, the baggie with the hash in it, which didn't weigh anything. And twisted as far as I could. It went about five feet. The fucking excuse me, the sergeant comes pulling in and pulls his car right over the top of the bag. Okay, so it's under there. And the guy says, alright, I'm gonna search the car open and open the trunk. And it's in huge boxes, like for these folding chairs in a big cardboard box. And in big letters, it says to piping rock club, locust Valley, New York. He said, where'd you get those? I said, oh, they're mine. I ordered them. He said no, no, try again. I said, the club gave him that. Try again. I said I stole him. He said very good. So they caught me away to jail. I spent the night in jail drunk. You got to understand that that I come from a family of Republicans in my father's great. My father's uncle. my great uncle was the national Chairman republican club. And Nassau County was all republican and democrats ran this and it was so it wasn't like now is more friendly, fun. Crazy. Had Phil McCoy's. So in the morning, I don't even know what happened. I wake up I spent the night in jail. I don't remember anything because I was so drunk. And I come up in front of the judge. And I'm shaking like a leaf. And, and the judge says officer check his arms. I said you're on. I'm hung over. I got drunk last time I went to air when I'm young. I'm 17 years old. So they checked my arms and the big manager the club says look, we're gonna let you go. You're an idiot. But try and get your act together. I said okay. And my father's yell at me all the way home. He's so pissed off. And I'm you know, what am I going to deliver? I'm doing and he's like, we're going to Newport, Rhode Island for the Folk Festival. He takes me down to the bowling alley bar where the car still is. And we pull in a guy swear I'm making. I know this sounds a little sounds like bullcrap, Jeff, but I never make up a thing. I never have to pull into the parking lot. And there's the baggie. When

I get in the car I feign like the car will start. I said pot. I live literally up the hill is a pot This happens all the time. On beach at home. He leaves I go out and get HESH put in my pocket and drive home. All the guys were at my house. We're going to Newport Rhode Island man for my buddies. I'm driving. You know what I'm talking about. It's like it's a big deal of five years ago, Newport. This has been planned forever. And I walked into my kitchen. And as my buddy's having a beer ready to go. Where are you? martling What are you doing? My father's like, he ain't going anywhere? Yeah. And they're like, What are you talking about? He's not going anywhere you drive and 20 minutes later, we're in my car, auto Newport smoking the hashtag show for and that you know, and that was another time in a while the local paper was a democratic paper and they like to take shots at each other and here I am a prominent republican son. So on the front page of the Locust Valley leader paper there was a little article and the name of the article was gets the chairs

I'll send you the article Yeah, I know.

And when I went to jail for

a couple DUI and I fell asleep at a light in Virginia Beach. We're not drinking at the shell. And the younger comedians and a waitress as I Oh, we're gonna have some Long Island Iced Tea. I said hey, I'm from Long Island where I come from we just call it iced tea. We don't put Long Island Iced Tea. It's from where I'm from. I must had four of them and I was I never drank that crap. I was so shot. I fell asleep at a light is banging on the on the window and I look in is this female Virginia Beach cop like you do it. So I went to jail. I think I actually called the Stern Show. The tech support invite my one phone boys a guide to call my jokes. And another time, it was the fifth anniversary of rascals comedy club that's probably long before your time in like 1985, or something. And it's the end of the night, I always play the guitar. I said, all the comedians on stage, let's all send you on my sunshine. I said shocks to the band shocks from events that a waitress is bringing up bully shots. And I'm on stage with a bunch of Jews. They don't drink. So I drank all the shots. And then I had to go do a radio show in Westport, and drove off. got off at rye, New York to take a leak. And it was one of those places where you get off, but you don't get right back on you know how some places it's not an on offs, you got to know the area. So I got off, I'm lost. I'm driving down the middle of Ryan, New York, but with the white line in the middle of my car, so they don't hit anything. And I get pulled over. And I go to jail. I call my girlfriend. She wasn't my wife yet. And she has a remind she's got to come get me. And she drove I had to go do a radio show, to promote to promote the show that night. And I am so hung over and drunk and I got my girlfriend screaming and yelling at me we go to this radio show. I'll never forget the disc jockey who was a ventriloquist, named Jose, and his ventriloquist dummy was a parent. And he was horrible. And I'm drunk and my girlfriend's angry. And I suffered through that I was it was just one of those very, very, very long, long, long events. And so I guess that covers my jail time. I did I there might be a couple more in here, but

Jeff Dwoskin 21:35

I'm sorry, I had to suffer through the venturella case.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 21:42

You know, you know what's great about this business and I know you notice, I'm sure that guy's still around. I'm sure that same guy is still somewhere with that still with that stupid parrot. Nobody leaves you always in the beginning I used to run into people say you are you still doing this? And then you realize everybody's still doing this. Some people get some prominence some people get the no prominence. Some people get regular jobs, but they dabble. But very few people leave it completely behind because it's too interesting. It's too much fun, you know? So it's crazy.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:13

Yeah, I learned that right away. They said you never quit. You've never met a can you'll never meet a comedian who quit comedy. I moved into podcasting

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 22:25

know, part and parcel same crap. Right. You know, you know, it's funny. I there's no gigs, you know, so I can cameo? I didn't mean to segue into it. From commercial. No, please. But I do. cameo.com Have you heard of this? Yeah, I do. cameo.com slash Jackie martling which I was made for, you know, 2345 jokes. Happy birthday. Congratulations. Divorce, Charlie. And my favorite uncle says, You know, I hope you have a good time in college, and dick jokes and tells you jokes or don't be dirty. Er, this is for my family. And I what I read the least things off and it's a form of love. Glad no good. So if I do four or five cameos in a day, I tell a few jokes and laugh and tell a few jokes and laugh and it's like methadone. It's like It's like, just enough. You know, even though you're laughing at my jokes with me. What else is no?

Jeff Dwoskin 23:25

No, that cameo is pretty awesome. I mean, I think it's, I think a lot of people right now.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 23:31

It's so much fun and what what's great not great for me is on my page. If you go to cameo comm slash Jackie martling. You know, you can shop for people. But there's like four or six or eight of my old ones. So if you click on them to listen to what I did, they're all full of jokes, you can steal 20 jokes and never spend a penny. So I mean, it's kind of shoot myself in the foot to tell that but but I love it. I did my first gay wedding yesterday. You know, we've been married five years. We love each other. We love each other very much. But what we especially love is your gay jokes. So, you know, don't hold back. All right. All right. You know, today I got one Oh, my, my best friend is of 25 years and he started 15 Omar, and he's Puerto Rican. And I want you to get them right between the eyes, you know? And ask for this. So I just, you know, it's, it's, it's really fun. It really is fun. So, Jackie, how many?

Jeff Dwoskin 24:26

How many jokes do you think? You know?

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 24:29

That's ridiculous question. I mean, it's like how many words you think you said today? And it's not quantified? Because there's they're completely they can be told so many different ways and so many, you know, it's just so rare. When people ask me that. The only honest answer though it may sound pompous I don't care. My answer is almost all of them. But people still get me and I and I love what They get me. I'll tell you, Jeff in 19 set in the 70s I had a band. Now I didn't start out to be any kind of a comic. I'm note you know, people say, Oh, dude, like, Did you follow George Carlin Vogue. I listened to red fox because he told dirty jokes. I like Kenny. I'm good. He told jokes a lot, Rodney, because he told jokes. And from early, early, early on the jokes just stuck in my head. I graduated from Michigan State as a mechanical engineer, I'm a smart guy. And we'll have paths to choose. I know jokes. And by the mid 70s, I knew the jokes. And here we are in my band, we tell her, we play original songs and tell jokes. Now, if you are a joke teller, and people know it, everybody has a joke. And we would take a break. And somebody come up to me at the bar and say, all right, Jackie, I got a joke to you. And I would say all right, I'm gonna count down from 10. By the time I get to zero, if I don't know the joke, by you drink. I met this 1975 70 years, I never bought anybody a drink. And I that my mind works a guy start telling me a joke about a nun and a priest going across the desert. And within two sentences, oh, this is the one about the cowboy in the Indian gone down the stream. I mean, I see the parallels matching up, sometimes I just figure them out. And they've always stuck in my head. But there is nothing better than when I have a new job. You know, it's like meet the girl on the bar and going home you getting laid. I can't remember the last time that happened. But like my God, I was doing a show with a guy named Mark Hudson was the husband brothers, who were the summer replacement of Sonny and Cher in the 70s. And great guy, great guy. And he didn't show a radiant at 51st and Broadway, which believe it or not, is the first place Jerry Lewis have jumped on stage with Dean Martin. That's a whole nother story. So we do this show and it's Mark Hudson is so talented and so great. And Billy j Kramer from the Dakotas, whatever they were, he was there. And you know, they hit up old time celebrities like you know, BC dx looks like me and we have so much fun. And it was always packed. And I came out of the dressing room. We've been back there for a half hour, and the place is still packed and a guy comes up to me. He says Jackie, I know you know every joke. I've been following you for 35 years. I love your stuff. But I gotta try this choke on you. He tells me a joke. And I fold down. He says Listen, man, I know you're a nice guy. But you don't have to be polite. You don't have to. I said Listen, I have never heard that show before. I can't believe I've never heard before the end the joke he told me is so dirty. That I can't use it in my act. Because I don't care about dirty like I don't do Jesus Christ jokes for the most part. And this joke I don't do because it throws people if you do something that throws people and they stop and think about it after they laugh, and they miss the setup to the next joke. They're out of my rhythm and I lose him so I rather than lose them I just omit it right because it's it's that foul that people like oh, but you can tell this joke on terrestrial radio. And even better you can tell it to a five year old kid. Now imagine how many jokes fit into that too dirty flat, but you can tell it on the radio and you can tell to a kid and then show okay this girl calls a doctor and says doc I got diarrhea Can I take a bath? And he says if you got enough

which is just so horrible kids go tell it on your radio you can tell a nun vagina joke but you can tell poop jokes till you till you know till the cows come home which I just which I just love and that's happened to me X amount of times where you know and then I sound somebody I never heard that before and they usually think I'm kidding but I've listened to everybody 72 years I've listened to everybody I was always the last guy standing in the bars five guys telling jokes to guys telling jokes 12 guys you tell joke he tell joke I tell you tell jokey joke joke I tell three jokes. Now while you guys are talking I'm thinking of 15 I never stopped and and just listened and listened and listened because it was like mining for gold I was panning for gold was ensure enough here and there. Wow. There's one you never heard before. Which you know which one I thought they were piling they it's It sounds very stupid. guy named David Feldman does a podcast a very real smart guy, very liberal seven or eight hour podcast twice a week. And once a week at the end of his show, he calls me on the phone. And I tell 10 or 15 minutes of the most disgusting for the most part jokes that were Curl a tire iron. Yesterday, I spoke to him for the 93rd time. Okay times 810 12 minutes 93rd time and still haven't repeated a joke. And I'll email you a couple of and not and yes, the resistance is he is the greatest audience. He goes berserk did just dirty jokes and especially nowadays, the world is made for me because there's nothing funny going on. Dick Jokes and poop and sex is funny the rest of the what's there's nothing funny about the United States or about the world situation or about disease, you know, Hey, I got the safe distance and you think downs I say that. Now. It's very simple. I just walk around my dick out. And if you can see it, you're too close. I never asked you what the what the situation is here. Whether it was supposed to be radio clean or not. So you might have to chop this out. I don't know. All right, but we're good. Enough about the stone shop.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:09

Pretty good. Right? I mean, we've been going almost almost seven mentioned that.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 31:14

I I told I warned you that I act too much. But I'll talk to you anytime. You know. So when you are you're in Detroit right now.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:23

Yeah. And Detroit right now. Yeah. But now what the city? I mean, but I feel was boonville Yes.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 31:29

Are you a daddy in mommy's house? (Jeff: No)

Good boy.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:33

Good day. So we know. All right. So maybe another time you'll come back and we'll talk about howard stern.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 31:41

Yeah, I'm not in a hurry. You know, I apologize for going on and on and on. No, no, I totally

Jeff Dwoskin 31:48

get it. Tell me about your band

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 31:51

in eighth grade. The guy wants to kindergarten with he's still my best friend. And for some reason, dumb or eighth grade, I must have seen or found her that he played guitar. And I said you play guitar. He goes, yay. He says, I went to Sunday school with this really pretty girl. And she told me she thought Ricky Nelson was really cool because he played guitar. So I went and bought a guitar and the girl never came back to Sunday school. I never saw her again. But I took some guitar lessons. And I'm enjoying it. He said, Why don't you let me teach a guitar teacher four chords and we didn't have a bad. And what he was talking about was, I don't know if you know music, it's C A minor f g which is the four chord four chord progression that's running around Su and teenager in love and who put the bomb the bomb ship up, you know, it's every song or so he's teaching me guitar. And in ninth grade, we started the band called The Sonics. And we will horrible and in between songs. I used to tell jokes, which made everybody crazy. Then the Beatles hit we were playing instrumental and and then we started singing before the Beatles hit we had a band for two years before there was such thing as the Beatles and and all of a sudden, the guys at work and pyromark the Beatles jack, they can't even get on that thing is so popular now. Shut up, you know, leave me alone, you know, because, you know, obviously I wouldn't get very famous and, and then right away, we started playing way too many Beatles songs, which made us unpopular. And then went away to college and had abandoned college and we had so much fun because you know, you start playing music so you can meet chicks. You know, 99% of guys say they started playing guitar so that you get laid and the other 1% are like, okay, that's all it is. This is just a way to meet chicks. But it also winds up being so creative and so fun. It's it's even more addictive than comedy, and played in the band for the whole the whole time. I was in college and then after I graduated, I sat around for two more years playing and in East Lansing, Michigan. The stories have curly ears about that time. And then finally I got bailed out by a friend and we went to Denver for five months I worked construction. And I said you know what? This this doesn't work. And that same guy taught me guitar in eighth grade came to Denver to come out with going back to New York moved back to New York, and we toward toward you drove around Long Island from 1974 to 1979. In a bright yellow 1955 Cadillac purse, I'll send you the pictures and we always say booze and we always had girls we always had pot and we never got stopped. They must have figured who would nobody's gonna screw up if they drive around and that thing, and we're so famous, locally famous, we weren't any good be lovely infamous. There is not one frame of video of that ban. We broke up at the end of 78. Two years later, everybody had a VCR at video cameras. There's video of everything. Thing HBO hit everything hit. And there's no video we missed. We missed the cut. And we broke up in 1978. That's a great story with a three piece band. And the one night the two guys said to me, Jackie, we're gonna leave the band and start our own band. I said, fellas, I'm not a rocket scientist. But if there's a three piece band, and two people leave to start their own band that's kicking me out.

So I always millions and millions of jokes. So I was playing guitar and tell my jokes and inviting people that I met some comedians, it's all in my book. It's too long a story. But the comics used to come there was no place on Long Island and do comedy. So the comics used to come to where I was planning Neptune South right track in and I'd let him get up and do time Eddie Murphy, Bob Nelson, Rob Bartlett, which you know, to be all these guys that would show up and do a little bit of time. And it was good for me because I was time I didn't have to play songs. And then we started doing a show once one night a week in Huntington. That instantly was so popular. I got the bright idea. I'll start this joke line to promote that night and I started 516 92 wine, which is my joke line that still works. If you dial 516 92 wine that's me telling dirty jokes like I was 41 years ago. And that grew into the side comedy club that grew on the governor's that goes to brokers and all thing when mom and it's if you look at it, it looks like connected dots like we knew what we're doing. We had no idea what we're doing. You know, I had worked in a recording studio. So here we are doing a show in a bar room, I made an album. And then Richie open the East comedy club. I made another album. Then I started running governors I made another album and managed to send the album's everybody send me out. Everybody send them one album, sending two albums, send them three albums. And then I was in Washington, DC. And this guy said, hey, there's this nut that just got fired from the radio and he's gone to W NBC in New York. you'd send them your crap, he would love you. So totally blind. I sent my three comedy albums to Howard Stern care WBC. And a couple months later, he called me up and I went in and as they say, the rest of them is just not so simple. That's as that's as concise and answers I can give you.

Jeff Dwoskin 37:25

That is fantastic. So maybe maybe we'll do a part two, one day we can talk more about the Howard Stern Show. That's

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 37:32

do me a favor. Do you know I assume you don't have my book?

Jeff Dwoskin 37:35

No, I think you gave me all your stuff.

I think I think you loaded me up on that. Okay,

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 37:42

but tell everyone the name of your book. I might look might not have been out by that.

Oh, okay.

Jeff Dwoskin 37:50

Okay, yeah, I will tell everyone the name of it.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 37:52

If you're a fan of comedy, Jeff would you are you will love this book, not got nothing to do with me more than making your way through the, through the through the maze. You'll love it. It's called the joke, man. bow to stern. And I will send it to you. And if you're a good boy and read it, I'll send you the other half of it. It didn't make it into the book. And I get emails every day from people. It's all left handed. You know, Jackie, who knew you could spell who you could write who really could write a book who you know, we're surprised you woke up right? You know, Howard had people trained to think I was a monkey without a brain and I was cheap and fat and mad. And you know, which was great comedy, but I unfortunately happen to be a very generous, very decent human being. Yes, you are. Yes. Well, that to a certain degree. You know, I would sell my mother to meet a girl but that's that's who wins who would Yeah, that's

Jeff Dwoskin 38:49

different. That's different.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 38:54

Um, I will do this again. Please email me a street address. I'll send you the book. And then also enough, I'll email you some of the links that David Feldman calls, I promise you, you'll pay and I'm sure even if you're like filthy jokes, I'm sure you got 20 friends that do. Oh, yes. And I will send them to you feel free to pass them around. And my documentary is done. But of course, there's no there's no film festivals to go to so kind of sitting on it. But they did a great documentary on it. You know, I've been exchanging emails, jokes with Willie Nelson for 20 years. And Penn jillette and Artie Lange and you know, it's it's, it's, it's an interesting and interesting documentary, so I will just leave you with one joke. Okay, a girl goes to the gotten a call. She's talking. I'm freaking out and freaking out. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina. exaggerations lady goes on postage stamps. Those are the stickers from bananas.

You can't live without So hang up on me and then go laugh your ass off you.

Jeff Dwoskin 40:08

Jackie, I can't thank you enough for hanging with me. This was great.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 40:12

I enjoy. I love doing this. You know, I, I never get sick of telling the stories. And I also never get sick of answering questions about the stern show people say, Oh, you know, I got a question, but I'm sure you're sick of hearing it or I miss you on the show. I'm sure you're sick of hearing and I said, Listen, if I ever get sick here and not shoot me. So if you want to tell the people that listen to the show to send their questions, you can you know, nothing. There's nothing off limits. I'll answer everything.

Jeff Dwoskin 40:40

All right. That's what I'll do. We'll collect questions about the Howard Stern Show. we'll have you back and we'll go from there.

Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling 40:46

All right, man. Thank you, Jeff. I appreciate it. Dial 516922 wine Wait, boy that originally got so crazy popular is Rick Dees used to put it on his show. And in Los Angeles when he was number one on morning drive in LA and he used to tell people that that number was Tom selux. home phone number.

Don't get me going. I'll see you next time.

Jeff Dwoskin 41:10

See you next time. Thanks, Jackie.

Well, that was fine. Yeah, maybe now you get the joke about this sponsor. That's right. 1-516-922-9463. That's Jackie, the joke man's joke line. Give it a call. If you were hoping it was really Tom Selleck. Both reg T's and I apologize profusely. So in terms of our trending hashtag for this week, I thought I would do hashtag new endings to old jokes. I thought that was a appropriate one to do with Jackie is our guest today. As always grab the hashtag roundup app and follow us at hashtag Roundup, play along with the hashtags and maybe you will end up read on the Jeff Dwoskin show. Oh, cool. Would that be so cool? All right, hashtag new endings to old jokes. And again, I'm going to read them all. There'll be retweeted at Jeff Dwoskin show on Twitter. They'll also be linked in the show notes. Give these people a follow. Give him a retweet. show him some love. Okay, hashtag new endings to old jokes. What do you get when you cross Trump with a skunk? Fake pews? pew pew Thank you, Laurie. Did you hear the rumor about COVID-19? Well, I'm not gonna spread it. Why did the chicken cross the road? To socially distance himself? Of course. Why did the chicken cross the road? This time the road had gone too far. Again, hashtag new endings to old jokes. knack knack who is their contact list delivery? Don't open the door. Knock knock knock knock. Do you think I'm answering the door during quarantine? You've got another thing coming. Haha. And that concludes hashtag new endings to old jokes. Thanks once again for joining us for Episode 18 with Jackie the joke, man martling. Don't forget to go to ask Jeff Dwoskin show. Leave a howard stern question for Jackie for follow up episode. Also, don't forget to follow us and subscribe to the podcast tell all your friends share the link, Apple podcast, Spotify, good pods, IR radio, Pandora, you name it. We're there and we'll see you next week.

Announcer 43:39

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host Jeff Dwoskin. Now go repeat everything you've heard and sound like a genius. catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai