#14 Modern Day Renaissance Man with Craig Shoemaker

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Jeff Dwoskin 0:20

All right. Kicking off Episode 14, like only you can do. Welcome back, everyone to the Jeff Dwoskin. Show. I'm Jeff Dwoskin. And we've got an amazing show for you today, one of the greatest comics ever. Craig Shoemaker is here. And we'll be talking to him and just a few minutes. Yes, so excited. It's gonna be great.

But first, a little social media tip. All right, I think those segways are working out great. My daughter told me I needed them a couple episodes ago, and boom, here they are fully produced. So here we are, I'm looking at my Twitter app. I'm trying to download the new one. It says, Hey, we tested this new feature in May now everyone can use it. And it's you can actually create content and determine who can reply to your tweets, which is great, right? Because then I figured, oh, well, I could tweet about my mother in law. And then my mother in law can't reply to the tweet. Why are you so mean to me on Twitter? Jeff, why are you on Twitter? Man, maybe you shouldn't be on Twitter. Anyway. So now I can avoid all that. But I can't find the feature. I downloaded it and I can't find it anywhere. So I'm just gonna have to pick this one up later. But I'm excited about this. I'm excited to block my mother in law from replying to my tweets about my mother in law. That's gonna save me like hours every week. But here I am. I can't Honey, why are you tweeting about me in the first place? Because it's funny. Get off my back, mom. Man. All right. And that's the social media tip.

Our sponsor today is pens, pens, for when you really think you know what you want to say, and you're gonna write it down correctly, the first time, pens, you don't get a second chance. All right, I also recommend buying a ton of pens, I tend to lose them. And it's a great way to support our sponsor, our sponsor is the reason we're able to keep the lights on and keep the show free week to week. So definitely go grab some pens. They're great. And I totally recommend they come in many different ink colors. So you know, it's it's something you can really have around the house. totally recommend a pens there when you need them. And you know who has a pen?

Our guest today, Craig Shoemaker. That's right. He's always writing stuff down. And that's how he writes some of the greatest comedy of all time. I'm excited to have him on the show. We talked for a long time, it was a great chat, covered a lot of topics. He's one of the greatest comedians of all time, and I'm excited to share our conversation with you. And here it goes. All right, we're here with Craig Shoemaker, a modern day renaissance man, comedians comedian to be one of the funniest people out there today. So happy to have him. I love

Craig Shoemaker 3:28

the one off bio, you started off with the bio, and I'm going I gotta rewrite that thing, modern day renaissance man.

Jeff Dwoskin 3:35

I was looking at that. And I was like, I can't top that. So I'm going to include I don't usually go too much into the introduction with every credit so that we can some surprises as we go along.

Craig Shoemaker 3:47

Well, you're doing you're doing an intervention on my BIOS, which is fantastic. I've been meaning to I'm gonna write it down right now. But I'm taking care of this soon as we're off of this.

Jeff Dwoskin 3:57

Don't get rid of modern day, right?

Craig Shoemaker 3:59

I have to get rid of that. It sounds it's

Jeff Dwoskin 4:01

a that's a that was I've read that. And I'm like, That is awesome that

Craig Shoemaker 4:06

people don't even know what it means. They think I've like, you know, I have a coat of arms.

When I get the shining of the roundtable.

Jeff Dwoskin 4:15

So you you've done. You're a stand up comedian, you're an actor, author, writer, producer, and anyone who goes to the comedy clubs, I know they know your name. So I'm excited to have you here.

Craig Shoemaker 4:26

Well, they're not going to comedy clubs right now. So no, we'll take that off of the Renaissance man at this point. Let's just go with actor and producer and writer.

Jeff Dwoskin 4:38

And we connected over Twitter we're Twitter buds. We, we tweet a lot, a lot of hashtags. You know,

Craig Shoemaker 4:44

those hashtags are such a great departure from the norm and I absolutely love them and they get me going to get my comedy juices going. I wish I got paid for them though. I'm trying to figure out how to get paid for funny hashtags. Besides Hey, Love this. Or you get a heart sign or something. I, I've tried to monetize the creativity. But it's not easy now.

Jeff Dwoskin 5:09

It's the holy grail of getting paid to tweet. I've been trying to get comedians a lot, a long time to join in on those hashtags. You know, we do through hashtag roundup and stuff, but it's hard to get them kind of involved with premises that they didn't

Craig Shoemaker 5:25

write. While the jokes were thinking of that's the, you know, it's just a premise. How many premises are there, right? relationship? Money, there's not that many premises anyway. So you might as well, you know, go with someone else's juice. I really enjoy it because it gets me, you know, thinking in a different direction. I don't have to deal with my kids for an hour as I obsess over coming up with the best one. I can't I can't seem to be in a maybe you can teach me how to be in on the club, though. I'm not in on the on. It seems to be like a group that everyone knows one another. Am I right about my right about that?

Jeff Dwoskin 6:04

Yes, there is definitely a community. I became a part of it a long time ago, I actually built an app around it. And this whole hashtag roundup thing sort of lupien,

Craig Shoemaker 6:16

please do. Yeah, I think and again, by the way, get up with one this morning, or yesterday, and I'm going to run it by you. And we'll see if

Jeff Dwoskin 6:24

I get you on the schedule. We'll see.

Craig Shoemaker 6:26

If it we'll see if this works. And I tried about 10 of them on my private page on Facebook. It's called pandemic and it's it's all puns that have to do with this quarantine and the pandemic and so forth. So and and I came up with some good ones. I even my wife laughed, and then I know what's good.

Jeff Dwoskin 6:45

Well, if you if the wife, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's, if you're always like my wife is if it's not fun, if she's not.

Craig Shoemaker 6:52

That's the tester for me. I know I'm gonna get a standing ovation, if she gives me a big laugh. I know it's kind of good material I run, I run a lot of these things by her. And then sometimes I include her in the in the joke. And then I act like she's the one that came up with a punch line within the like, our tweets, our text exchange, or whatever it is. So now all these people go Whoa, she's funnier than you are. So she's getting all this credit and followers do sir Craig. I don't know how to tell these jokes. But so either way, it's our household.

Jeff Dwoskin 7:25

Yeah, once my wife got on Twitter, she wasn't originally into these hashtag games or anything like that. And then years ago, I got her into it. And sometimes she would actually say something. I go, Oh, I'm doing and she would say something that Oh, I'm gonna use that. And then she started getting into it and building up her own following. And then I couldn't I lost one of my sources. She takes him off. I gotta I gotta work extra hard here.

Craig Shoemaker 7:51

We're creating monsters here. I'll probably be opening for my wife by the end of this quarantine. unbelievable how much how all these gigs have canceled for me. So we don't really have outlets as comedians, it's it's just the strangest time of my entire life. I've been doing this since high school. So it is quite an adjustment.

Jeff Dwoskin 8:10

Yeah, it's it's, it's it must be really rough. Given it's your full time there. Are you doing any of the zoom ones? Are you doing any, any of the things that have kind of Well,

Craig Shoemaker 8:19

actually, I started something. I'm doing zoom shows. And here's my secret sauce. You have to have laughter as a comic. And zoom shows you can't get the laughter I mean, you get you know, they're coming across the screen. It's a little delayed, there's just it's not the same. So in my studio, where I am right now, I have 15 people as an audience to give the laughter and then I put the show out to the Xoom audience. So they're feeling this laughter as a matter of fact, it was so good. A bouncing off the walls. And my wife actually asked if I added a laugh track. She was watching the show. And she's Wow, that was amazing. Did you did you put in a laugh track of me. So like, if there's somebody with a button, like hitting it, like an I Love Lucy episode, but it was really, it's really a good way to go about it. And we've had about five or six of these shows where we have other comedians as well out of my studio, and we COVID test and mask everybody to so it's pretty cool show.

Jeff Dwoskin 9:16

That's pretty that's a great idea. Thank you. Yeah, cuz that is what's missing. That's why like, somebody called me and I'm like, I'm gonna refer you to somebody.

Craig Shoemaker 9:23

refer them to me, we got you know, we got the system down here. What do private parties I say, listen, people for parties hire a clown. This is the same thing. You know, we're a bouncy house. So why not? And

Jeff Dwoskin 9:37

that's great, because then they can feed off the laughter the dance that is and then you don't have that, that weird feeling of not knowing what the reaction is?

Craig Shoemaker 9:44

Well, absolutely. And you know, as a comic, it's the only art form you absolutely, you know, you could play guitar at a Holiday Inn at a corner of a lobby, and it's okay you know, you could just play to yourself. This is not selling Something I was gonna say we can't play with ourselves, but that's probably how we got into this business. But anyway, it's a it's just we have to have that ingredient of the live laughter which is everything to do with the timing. I used to write for a television show, and you can't possibly in a writers room especially with all the you know, everybody's jaded, you can't possibly come up with the best material unless you have that immediacy of the energy of the laughter

Jeff Dwoskin 10:32

Yeah, no, I agree with you hundred percent like I always felt like even this the shows I would do if I knew who I was working with and you could have that kind of BS in backstage and kind of get you into the mode before you even walk out there. Kind of just get you into that feeling to make it kind of fresh and new again in your head and then and then channel that out to the audience that always made it feel

Craig Shoemaker 10:54

it's their connection that's most important you have to have a connection to an audience you know and that's absolutely essential with stand up comedy live stand up comedy you have to have it you know if you watch if you watch for instance a comedy special is produced in a theater and you were just up there performing for nobody while Bill Maher shows showing that real time and he he does his show is has definitely taken a hit it's it's not the same show I love that program but now that he's in front of his in his living room or his backyard it's just it's comes across stale it's a bummer

Jeff Dwoskin 11:34

um with the present we that's a must watch show in our house to most of my politics from Bill Maher but the but yeah, the the at home for some reason his the format's of the things that here he's doing is just not landing the same. And I, sometimes I watch it, and I wonder, like, if he could just be enjoying it.

Craig Shoemaker 11:53

Yeah. He's definitely not

Jeff Dwoskin 11:56

like he's right. It's almost like he is reacting to the fact that no one's there. Even though he's been doing it this long. No one's there. You know, I mean, there's a way to do it, where you can kind of pretend it's there. I mean, you've gotten the laughs enough to

Craig Shoemaker 12:08

Yeah, or put a couple of have a couple camera crew laugh I mean, that that's that works as well, because it just it's a feed thing. And his responses to a lack of laugh or a groan are half of the show as well. I mean those and he's out of those responses. Now he'd see it as his dogs. And there's only so many times you can hear them chasing the squirrel, but before it gets tiresome. But yeah, I love the show, but not these days. haven't liked it as much john oliver doesn't have a laugh track, though, that he's that's a little different. I don't know, I really dig his show to such great writing.

Jeff Dwoskin 12:43

Well, he felt so he fully can make See, he's Yeah, he's not acting like no one's out there. He's fully into that. Yeah. If you were watching one of those episodes, you wouldn't even realize I think that for the most part it was is much different. You know, it was he goes on exactly. He

Craig Shoemaker 12:59

goes all in but the type of format that he has calls for that it doesn't really call for the feedback on the jokes. He's just delivering off teleprompter. And and you're right, he just gives it all the zesty can and all the power he can. But it's it's so well written that it's like if you're reading a book or something, and it's funny, it's just good. It connects with you. But yeah, I mean, I hope to get out there at some point. Right now we're trying to produce television shows and things like that. And even that those shut down, especially California, very strict, very strict governor that keeps changing the ordinances. So we can't even make a schedule for the shows right now.

Jeff Dwoskin 13:35

Yeah, it's wild times, right? Yeah, just can't do anything. can't make any plans. And now Trump wants to close Tic Tac and the world is crazy.

Craig Shoemaker 13:47

Oh, I know it. You know, the one thing if he doesn't get reelected, I will miss is you got to admit the dude is funny without trying to be funny. Because the funny is that there are people that are believing this. You know, it's it's like watching wrestling. It's like watching pro wrestling and yet people going, Oh, this guy's gonna win the championship and really believing that there isn't a predetermined winner. And but so it's kind of it's kind of comical the other day when he had that interview with axios papers. I literally thought it was Sacha Baron Cohen in a Trump fat suit. I think he's gonna unzip it at the end because it's really very because it looked like it was it was planned comedies fumbling through and he's this guy's claiming they Biden is is senile. And for all the Trump supporters that are listening right now, what I always say is like have a sense of humor. This is a guy that subjected himself to a comedy central roast at one time, when he had somewhat of a sense of humor. He didn't then But still, so why is it suddenly you say the word and people freak out and they assume you hate him? No. It's commonly material and you deal with every president. So you didn't deal with Obama, because Obama wasn't as much nonsense. wasn't as hypocritical. wasn't as foolish didn't say that there were that there were rockets, red glare and airplanes and airports in the 1700s. I made you know me, so you've got to laugh at that. So don't be mad at me because you're dumb enough to believe that this guy is a genius.

Jeff Dwoskin 15:27

It's mind numbing to watch these republicans that I'm friends with and I have no problem with Republicans. I don't have like problems with Donald Trump because he's exactly

which he's not. And you know, I, I write I mean, maybe George W. and stuff wasn't my favorite, but I didn't. It wasn't just because you know, if so, with Trump, it's like, I don't understand how anyone can look at that. And with a rash, right? say, Oh, this is Rocky, like to watch that axios interview and go, Oh, this is? Yeah, this is this is who this is who I am comfortable running. So

Craig Shoemaker 16:05

I was leading me and be an example for my children. I mean, it started with debates for me my son turned me he was six at the time six This one is out for observation did not come from me whatsoever. The Republican debates he goes, Hey, Dad, what's up with Mr. Drunk because Mr. Because acted like a drunk. He's up there called penis size and liar this and you know, call each other names. This is where it all started. And then it became a normal, it became the new normal. And then they get into this whole snowflake thing. As I said, Who's the bigger snowflake, somebody that says they're the victimized on a daily basis treated unfairly compares himself to be more unfairly than Lincoln. I mean, who was shot in the head? It's like, and you're actually going to go Yeah, yeah, I've dealt with that. He's no snowflake. He's strong. No whining and blaming. A name calling is the least thing that this shows any indication of a power. If anything, it's the weakest we've ever been. But you know, I mean, sorry, folks, if you don't agree with that, but that's just that's just fact is this is what he does on a daily basis, but I will, if he's not elected, I will miss the comedy because it you live. Have you ever opened up twitter and what did he do today? That's how it is, though. I don't I open

Jeff Dwoskin 17:22

up every day. I can't You can't open Twitter. And it's not what

Craig Shoemaker 17:25

what? Happy I had that thought all the time. Like I just checked to say, what did he do today? And what did he say today? What's what Bible? is he holding up after gassing people to get to the church that he never has been in? It's like, what did he do today? That is out to fool people and that they're buying it? That is just fascinating to me.

Jeff Dwoskin 17:47

He was calling Thailand, Thailand. He couldn't say you sent me

Craig Shoemaker 17:53

about your Yosemite.

Jeff Dwoskin 17:54

You said yo Semite.

Craig Shoemaker 18:00

Oh, my God is

Jeff Dwoskin 18:01

one thing after another and it's like,

Craig Shoemaker 18:03

it's nice to hear that he's a pro. Yo Semite.

Jeff Dwoskin 18:07

Yeah. Yes. It's always good. Yeah. Someone who is. Oh, God. Oh, man. So So. Oh, yeah.

Craig Shoemaker 18:20

So anyway, those that's our political section of the show. And a B, the other thing I have a problem with is people call everything political. No, this is societal. This is humanity. You know, enough with it. Like you just said, it's not Republicans and Democrats. It's where you are with your values. Do you hold on to your own personal values? Or do you abandon them over a party or a group or a gang or religion? I do not. That's my thing is I just go with my own flow, and what resonates with me, and I think you're the same way.

Jeff Dwoskin 18:53

Yeah, in the beginning, anytime you said something about Trump, they go well, oh, Hillary, and I'm like, Look, I didn't love Hillary. I, you know, I mean, I would, I would have been, I would have preferred Hillary to be president. But it doesn't mean I loved Hillary Clinton. I didn't. You know, I don't think the Clintons are the greatest people. That's a that's the only

Craig Shoemaker 19:12

defense though is go to Obama. Oh, bummer. Right. That's their defense. It's their they have a playbook and they go to and I said, I always say to them, what about the countless republicans that are actually honoring their own character and say, speaking out like the Lincoln project, or his niece or Cohen or Bolton, who's the ultimate conservative, that should show you if you had any common sense that this has nothing to do with party and everything to do with people having strong values, and if he opposes them, you've just speak up.

Jeff Dwoskin 19:45

The problem with all those people with Bolton and the nice and everything. They always waited till it benefited them to do it. No one's or the Jeff Flake. Everyone was out of office. Oh, that's a good one. There was never any mitt romney's like the only One who's in office who is really kind of going at Trump and really standing up for everything you know now whether that's for some hidden agenda that will reveal later well, like most of these people are like, they have a reason Bolden could have testified he waited his book came out or I don't even say anything with it that the nice and all the people that talk bad about them, I mean, even like Susan Collins, all of them are still, you know, they, well, he'll be okay, he'll get better. Yeah,

Craig Shoemaker 20:31

God, what are you gonna get out of denial? You know, it's like a drunk at the end of the bar. You know, are you gonna go join them? You know, with his misplace rage, and you know, with the bigoted jokes, and sexist and racist jokes, or you're gonna go get sober. You know, I may know, you're going to be one of the drunks or you're going to are you going to sober up? And you know, and live a better life, you know, and challenge people like that have an intervention. That's what we're doing right now. We're having an intervention on the sky.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:00

Oh, yeah. And at the expense of law. Yes. I mean, like, I mean, people are dying with the with the COVID-19. And this, you know, suddenly it's all about masks, even though he told people not to wear masks. I think that's what the the axio sky was, it was the best part of the interview was when he said, You do understand that when you talk, these people listen to you, and what you say, they internalize, and it becomes their reality. So when you say don't wear a mask, they're not gonna wear a mask. And then for the months that you didn't, and now you're finally saying, Well, you know, zero, you know, is that that's, you know, people are dying, because, you know, one guy goes to where I don't remember where it was, I just read it, but there's one guy goes to this thing and 91 people got infected. Wow. Right. So it's like, you know, it's all because they're just not doing the right things. And it all came top down. Right. Herman

Craig Shoemaker 21:50

Cain lost his life by going to a rally and supporting the no mass policy. I mean, he just went with when's it going to come to the point where you just go, that's what I was wondering when someone goes, alright, I've had enough I bought it now. I don't you know, I mean, when are you going to look behind the curtain? We would it's going to take a lot of todos to keep on pulling those curtains though.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:12

No, I agree and herman cain should have you'd think that would have been a wake up call and there's nothing wakes up anybody? He tweeted about Oh, no mass from you know, whatever. He said, You know, he prior to that, that rally and then unfortunately, he passed away. I don't you know, and I when I saw that I was it was legit. Sad. And he was a great kid. He was a character. I mean, I remember him running. It was just like, you know, but it's just it's so tragic. And like, they don't see it. It's tragic. Yeah. You know, it's and then the best part though they come out of a lot of this is Kellyanne, and what's her house? Oh,

Craig Shoemaker 22:45

my God. He's the head of the LinkedIn project. It's awesome.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:48

But their daughter their job, right? is so funny. She goes at them are more at her, but like, she's the most trumpers awesome,

Craig Shoemaker 22:59

by the way. So as Kellyanne, she's another sellout. People just sell their souls for money. It's just amazing to me, but you know, we'll just have some fun with it, though. We can't take it that serious. Obviously, just be respectful with the masks and so on and social distancing. And, you know, let's all get better together. That's what I want. I want to get more laughter out there. You know, I have an organization called laughter heals. And if you're aware of that

Jeff Dwoskin 23:23

way I do you formed in 2000.

Craig Shoemaker 23:25

Oh, look at you with your bio in front of you. So part of my renaissance man.

Jeff Dwoskin 23:30

I did research I love that. I was reading.

Craig Shoemaker 23:34

Hopefully you didn't dive too deep into my ex wife. But

Jeff Dwoskin 23:38

But I'm going through the divorce. Interesting, interesting settlement. I

Craig Shoemaker 23:45

see Oh, other interview, if you went through the divorce papers, which continue by the way, 15 years later, that's a whole other story. It just prompts more comedy for me. There's no comedy without pain, and I certainly have adored my share.

Jeff Dwoskin 23:59

Now, I think it's great. I'd love to talk about it. So you it did you get your Honorary Doctorate for this, actually, because you're a doctor. Yeah, I studied

Craig Shoemaker 24:06

the healing powers of laughter since Oh, three. What happened was my best friend Michael Goldberg. Philly guy moved la became a successful writer. He wrote Cool Runnings, Little Giants. we bonded through comedy, directed my first movie, the love master. And actually during the filming was I heard Michigan was the first place I heard this by the way, someone came up to me after a show up Mark Ridley's, and they said, We want to thank you. And I said, Oh, that's all right. You know, I just thought it was a regular Thank you. No, really. We were told we couldn't have a child. And we saw your show. My husband went home and tried to do the love master. And we made love and we have a baby girl now even though we were told we could not have a child and I said, Whoa, that's pretty crazy. And I started studying healing powers of laughter and it shifts consciousness it relieves stress. And when you're trying to have a baby, this relieves it. You're just trying to have a few laughs and you happen to be having sex at the same time and what better way to bring a child into the world and it happened five more times people came up to me and gave me credit. One sent me a photo of a child conceived in the parking lot of the brain improv. I should show it to you right now. I have the photo on my phone. This is years ago. But anyway, so Gold's, we were filming in Michael Gerber Gold's we were filming in Arizona, and he his wife was oscillating we're in we're about to watch the Eagles against the lions and the playoffs is how long ago was, and I know you're probably a lions fan,

Jeff Dwoskin 25:39

because it's

Craig Shoemaker 25:42

probably remember the day they were in the playoffs in the last 30 days. 30 years. So anyway, we're about to watch she and I said listen to the love master. I'll go get sandwiches, I came back and baby Kayla was conceived that day, and a year and a half after that he got brain cancer, and they gave him three months to live. And that was my haha moment. And really did a dive into the healing powers of laughter I formed the laughter heals. And we have workshops who worked in this cancer facility gold showed up at every one of them. I took my prescriptions which I tell other people, watch as many comedies as you can laugh as much as you can. I guarantee your life will be better, better what laughter does to you? healing endorphins are being released as you laugh, just a smile and you're feeling better. So you can shift your own consciousness and your own health by laughing more. So we have a pharmacy that exists inside of us but we're just so filled with I tell people get off the news that damn the you know, scrub crawl that comes across. Here's what will scare you today. Well, you know, they just listed these here's somebody deaths. I won't even watch the corona deaths anymore. I'm not gonna watch that hit those stats. I don't care. I don't care. I mean, I care but I don't I, I got the warning. I know what the mandates are. I don't need to hear stats to just keep breakdown my own immunity with the fear. So gold showed up at every one of them that gave him three months to live. He lived 15 years past that prognosis

15 years. That's amazing.

And it is amazing. It is we filmed it for a documentary we'd like to do is, you know, show. I visited him in hospice a few years ago. And he was in a coma and he was staring. I said gold. I don't even know if you know, I'm here. What can I do for you? Because I've done so much. We had all we had a team would do things for him and help him out all through his recovery. And you just could see it was the end. He's just staring and I said, What can I do? And I said, let me give you a hand job. And I said I've never done anybody but my own but I'm really good with myself. Can I give you a little handy? He came out of a coma he goes any laugh? We have it? We have it on film. And he passed away a few days later. And just to bring this full circle. I got the announcement in Michigan when I was playing Ridley's comedy castle. I got the announcement passed away. You know I it really is a testament to what laughter does and that is what I studied in May. I'm Dr. Dr. Craig Shoemaker, got my podcast Dr. Craig Shoemaker. Can I help you? I love helping people. And if that's one of the ways to help them, that's a fantastic thing is to encourage more joy, more laughter we're supposed to be pursuing happiness in this country. Why do they ignore that?

Jeff Dwoskin 28:27

It's that's an amazing, it's an amazing story. And it's it's such a blessing. Yeah, you helped him with 15 more years daughter got to know, by the

Craig Shoemaker 28:35

way, by the way, we had a we didn't have a funeral, we had a funeral. And we and we roasted him. It was so funny. And tears, laughter both, you know, sad tears, happy tears. And his daughter got to see him through our eyes of what he was like when he was well, you know, this great writer in person. And, and she went up and just brought the whole house down, you know, now I know my dad through everyone else's eyes. And we bonded through laughter and comedies and making comedy and that's something that's I wish there was more encouragement of that, that we are essential workers being comics. I mean, this is something that needs to be out there. But there's no health insurance for us. There's no PP, whatever loans, pp loans. There's nothing there's nothing there. The poopoo loans, nothing for us. We're the court jesters and we're forgotten and I do believe that we are doctors that should all be out there healing as much as possible. And I think they should open up some of these comedy venues, just do social distancing, and practice, you know, masking and everything else. But let's get out there together as a community and start shifting, I'm with

Jeff Dwoskin 29:46

the hundred percent and that nothing makes you feel better than laughing nothing. You know, when my dad passed away about four years ago, and so I spoke I wanted to speak, and I was like, Well, I don't do sad I don't get in front of an audience and do sad. And, you know, fortunately there was there was probably, I there was over 1000 people Oh, wow. And, and it was insane. I couldn't get over it. And I basically did a routine. I remember like, you know, just because it was through my eyes how I remember him. That's, and that's how I express myself when I'm in front of people, you know, I can't I can't do it any other way. And for years, years afterwards, and for years, people came up to me, saying how what I did and how I presented it made them feel so good. You know, such a weird climb them. Exactly. Yeah. And it was you want to got that from the generic. He was so good at this, and he had such a heart of gold. I mean, everyone has I mean, it's I mean, it's all true, but it's like,

Craig Shoemaker 30:55

yeah, the labor standards.

Jeff Dwoskin 30:56

It's not how people win. When people hear the real story, which is the funny version or the you know, then that's what they resonate with. So I'm when I'm with you hundred percent. I mean, that's what we need right now to get. Get people out there get people actually

Craig Shoemaker 31:11

laughing Yeah, people resonate with the humility of the story, you know, that he was a real person, when not this just leading every day with his heart of gold and his hard work ethic and all that kind of stuff. And goodness. Now he's got times where he's failing and flossing and, you know, rumbling, stumbling, crumbling, fumbling, you know, this is, this is how we relate. That's what comedy is, you relate to the truth, that we all have these failures and flaws. And it's, I love that you did that. That's what we difficult, we just told these stories of what a goof assay was to get it graded and brings the human element to it. I just think we need more of that as well.

Jeff Dwoskin 31:49

Yeah, people want to be remembered how you want to be remembered? Not not the weird, glossy version. Right, right. Yeah, the rabbi a priest picks up on the meeting with the fam. So it's, but it's, you know, it's it's interesting, like, my step mom died during the COVID. And so why wasn't even at the funeral. You know, we watched on zoom, Mike, I mean, I attend people there, I think now you can have in some places at you know, but it's the whole death process and stuff now even through COVID that's why it's like so, you know, even the grieving stuff, you know, every emotion that you have to go through, you need people around.

Craig Shoemaker 32:26

Wow, good point. Yeah, I mean, this is listen to grieving process is something that's also kind of tossed aside, you know, we're not taught this. And it's something that should be taught because grief, can literally run you for the rest of your life and not in a good way. If you don't process it properly. And we're just not taught these skills. Man if I was president, I have so many things I would do, you know, changing I would do executive orders for mental health, mental health, and that's part of mental health is dealing with resentments dealing with pain. You know, we're not taught these things we're taught to do bypasses on them and just go to 1400 and 92 Columbus sailed the ocean blue I mean, he said the poems that we remember from we were kids to memorize you know shit from white dudes, you know that white dudes did that supposedly made us into better people you know? And I it's just I step back and I go, No, no, I'm a better person. The more I get an A, you know, transformational frame of mind. You know, mindset if I do that I'm a much better person than being able to study and repeat things that they tell me to repeat.

Jeff Dwoskin 33:37

Hello? Yeah. Hey. So do you do you do speaking then? Yeah. And this specifically like do you do the comedy but then you also do like to this is only to organizations and stuff like that so people can hide? Yeah, kind of

Craig Shoemaker 33:50

come in and they go to my website talk

Jeff Dwoskin 33:52

about comedy for the soul. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 33:53

absolutely. Well, you look that one up too. Did you see soul Shoemaker you didn't get that? You didn't make that connection? Did you?

Craig Shoemaker 34:01

soul

My first joke that ever told when I was a kid, my very first joke and I got a laugh was a paid job. My shoe factory burnt down some big heels started it. A lot of souls were lost. That was it baby. That was my opening joke. That was a killer and fourth and fifth grade man as they always said the girls want a sense of humor. That is the biggest crack I've ever heard my life because I was the quarterback lines up the girls not the comic.

Jeff Dwoskin 34:35

If there's no quarterbacks then

Craig Shoemaker 34:37

then you know No, no. I don't care. I don't care if they're the third string of fat tackle that was ahead of me as a comic. The girls they all use the F word with a friend as always the friend. The comments are always the friend.

Jeff Dwoskin 34:55

That is true. That is true. So soul

Craig Shoemaker 34:58

Yeah, shoot me. Got it. By the way, thanks for getting my name right a lot of people go Schumacher, my best favorite comedian Craig Schumacher is it? It's Shoemaker, you don't mock shoes. You make shoes. Right? Unless, unless they're Crocs, those you can mock. He can mock those all day long. You know what the holes are first year self esteem can slip out. By the way, I have a pair on right now because I don't care anymore.

Jeff Dwoskin 35:21

When I was a MC, I was always that was one of the things they taught me. He always, always get the name, right. Yeah, I was like, that's your job. If you can be, you're also funny. But I had a guy pay me once just because he knew I didn't want to trust the guy at the club beyond just introducing like, I'm gonna pay you just do 15 minutes. But I need you to introduce

Craig Shoemaker 35:47

you know what, that's a great idea. When I'm, you know, I mentor comedians, a lot of times, I'm gonna tell them that if you want more work, just put on your resume resume, great at remembering names. And now you're hired right? under under those auspices. That's fantastic. If that's all we need. That's all we need from you just get the name

Jeff Dwoskin 36:05

right. the only the only time I ever I worked with CO stack a kind of novel. That's a rough one. And that was over a decade ago. And you can see like I was so scarred that now you can just rattle it off. No problem we have a decade later. I know, as I was the emcee. And it was the second show, which was like a 1030. So it was like an hour in between and so that you know you're not moving. You know, I mean, it's like, and then you just got to get up, and I go to read it. And I didn't have any momentum with me and it's late and I'm like a stocky economy. And you know, like once you can't say a word, you can't say a word, right?

Craig Shoemaker 36:43

Nothing can stop. You have normal time. Great guy, great comedian. But change your name. Why don't understand why people don't change their name. I can't close to change your mind. It's not that difficult. But that one is like nearly impossible. Unless you're in Greece. If you're doing a whole tour of the GMC by boat. It was okay then then you've got a name then then I should change my name. But in the meantime in America, that's a rough that's a rough one on all the MCs. I'm sure he's taken down quite a few.

Jeff Dwoskin 37:15

Well, he had a he had a joke ready? Yeah. Obviously. You know, he was he was prepared for that. Oh, man. Okay, so let's see what else we can talk about you you've got many comedy specials out right. Netflix, and Showtime special

Craig Shoemaker 37:33

dad actually put his out again.

Jeff Dwoskin 37:35

I think I just saw that on Amazon.

Craig Shoemaker 37:37

Yeah. It's out again. I have no idea if I made it. I could. Probably with all of the money. All the money that I made from Amazon. I could probably buy a new bottle of hand sanitizer. I think that's Oh, yeah. saving up. I'm talking bulk. I'm talking about big, bulky. A big bulk. A big book from Costco. I can't afford that. After I get my check from Amazon. I don't know where the hell the money goes. I know it's getting views. Yes, dad attitude. I did it the same night as an unknown. This is this is unknown comedian at the time. He's kind of known. But he's, I said, What do you guys do and like they, they they took my set, you know that the web theater in Anaheim. And they're like, kind of breaking it down. But they're also putting other set pieces out. What's going on here is Oh, we have another comedy special we're doing? They were doing like two in one night. They just changed a couple set pieces. And this is kind of I ran into him a man what's up, you know, I kinda knew him before. And so this is 2013. And this dude exploded after that. And I'm here on with you. I know. I know. He's, uh, yeah, Sebastian Maniscalco.

Jeff Dwoskin 38:56

Oh, Samantha. Yeah, I interviewed him last week. No, no. Okay.

Craig Shoemaker 39:00

So he's still he's still taking my stage. But I couldn't believe how this guy I mean, he's literally a multi bajillion air selling out stadiums now. Am I special was good. You know, it was great reviews, but I certainly didn't hit the stadiums after

Jeff Dwoskin 39:15

so that's all I gotta say about Sebastian.

Craig Shoemaker 39:18

That's all I have to say about comedians, catapulting to fame.

Jeff Dwoskin 39:22

I know. I think this one this one should this soul when I post this i'm sure though big things will happen. Once I tweet this out,

Craig Shoemaker 39:32

how many followers do you have?

Jeff Dwoskin 39:34

On Twitter? 44,000.

Craig Shoemaker 39:37

Oh, I feel great about myself now that I have less than that. And I've had a decade's long career headlining playing 70,000 people, comedian a year American Comedy Awards, Emmys, and I have less people than you do. Who was an opening act trying to get names right of the headliners that you're introducing That's great. I feel wonderful about

Jeff Dwoskin 40:02

a guy that could barely open for saggy kind of innopolis.

Craig Shoemaker 40:06

Or say his name. Now, you have more followers, I have 37,000 I probably paid for half of them now, I'm just kidding. But I gotta get I gotta get this down that that's listed as payback for my time with you just coach me and getting more people. I don't know how to do this. I know. I know, for a fact, I'm funny on these hashtags. And I'll get like three likes it drives drives me nuts, because I'm not in the community, as you call it.

Jeff Dwoskin 40:36

It's about time. It's about timing. Again, I'm gonna make sure you have the hashtag roundup app. So that sends you a push when the game starts.

Craig Shoemaker 40:43

I just got it.

Jeff Dwoskin 40:45

Okay, cool.

Craig Shoemaker 40:46

I did that. And I played the game right away. I jumped right on it still five likes, that's a big buzz. So

Jeff Dwoskin 40:51

do do retweet other people are engaged with other people, because that's that's one of the keys to like Internet success. I think a lot of comedians feel like their page needs to be all them. And so that can lead to other people. Because it's not it's not quid pro quo in terms of everyone you retweet.

Craig Shoemaker 41:10

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Yes, it is Donald. It is a total quid pro quo. Absolutely. You have to follow them back. And you got to, you know, hey, great, you know, but in the meantime, I'm trying to think of more of them, you know, to fire out and I don't have time to keep going. Hey, hilarious. Good job. That was great. So I'm spending so much time I hosted one the other day, I was never so nervous.

Jeff Dwoskin 41:34

I remember I remember you did a great job. Yeah. Yeah, we will. You'll host on with me. We can do you can host with me tomorrow we're doing I do a fade the fake facts game. And we can you can do that with me. I can add you to that. I can if you're free at one o'clock tomorrow,

Craig Shoemaker 41:49

not not. I am not free tomorrow. But I find another time and I want you to put my hashtag out there pandemic. I think that'll fly.

Jeff Dwoskin 41:57

We'll do it. All right, we'll find a time we'll do that. I'll hook you up with I know people so alright, so tell me what it was like then you mentioned this briefly. But tell me what it was like to win. The funniest male stand up which is way cooler than having time with Twitter followers like well

Craig Shoemaker 42:18

you know, it does me no good. As a matter of fact, all it did for my career was heighten the resentment of other comedians.

Jeff Dwoskin 42:24

So it's actually funny how that happens. Like people just can't be happy for other people

Craig Shoemaker 42:29

become a target. I mean, I remember that night now the previous winners you have to understand going into there's a big deal it's like our Oscars. They don't even have a comedy division in the Oscars. That also pisses me off beyond belief. They'll have you know, Best Documentary short, the no one ever saw no one ever heard of but these great comedians that are, you know, making millions of dollars for the studios, you can have an Oscar for the comics or the funny people. It makes no sense whatsoever. So they finally did this for years. They are the American comedy words on ABC. And the previous winners were Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen, the generous, Jeff Foxworthy. So I figured, wow, if I win, I'm gonna have my own sitcom about a gay redneck and a show about nothing. So I was like, I've this would be great if I win. And sure enough, I was nominated and it's down to five and they announced it was Lily Tomlin legend and Roseanne they announced Craig Shoemaker and I went up on stage. And for the following that whole night was the loneliest night of my life. It was horrible. I didn't know where to go at a limousine they gave me I'm like, he said, What do you want to go and I got my big trophy. But so I walked in the Comedy Store and it was like, I was a leper there Look at him carrying his award, what an ass. Because it's awards are kind of anti comedy, you know, I mean, because awards you're supposed to be sarcastic about them. It's, uh, you know, and cynical. That's part of our nature is to be cynical. So we don't want to, you know, encourage that. And they came after me and I became a target but thank God Jeff Dunham won the following year.

It took me right off the radar.

But yeah, it was really not anything good came out of that. And nor the Emmys. There's nothing that's come good out of these awards. The best award I ever received was my ex wife had a family reunion in Massachusetts and they gave me the horse's ass trophy. It's a trophy of a have a horse's ass and I'm most proud of that.

Jeff Dwoskin 44:34

It seems like you know if the more the better a comic does. When Dane Cook got successful? Oh god. Yeah. When you know, and I'd say Carrot Top you know having a huge Vegas everyone went after him. Absolutely. You know who's that way? Why am I blanking on his name? Hickory Dickory Dock, dice claggy Dice Clay bigger one of the biggest ever right in terms of being able to sell out sure mediums Yeah. Destroy them. Right? That's like, you know,

Craig Shoemaker 45:01

and then comics always used the word hack, right? And I said, you know, what's hack is you using the word hack, you need another word. Everything about that is like, it's like everybody I hack, it's it's so easy. It's so it's so easy to attack. You know, it's so easy to criticize. But I always say, try just getting out there and just doing it. And I'm not taking your job away from you or audience away from you. It's that's an audience for me to have my own pathway. Develop your own, and it's not going to do you any good to try to take down other comics that are just out there. You know, analyzing every word that comes out of a comics mouth out that kancil cultures drive me nuts. I told this story on stage, and I could not believe the reaction that it got. This is how sensitive people are. It's a true story. And my mom came to visit me she started to lose her hearing and but she won't wear hearing aids. She's too vain. Like she was walking down. One day she's walking down this little ravine and a guy comes up behind her. He goes steep hill, she goes Hi, steep hill. Nice to meet you. I'm Barbara shubik. She won't wear the hearing aids. So she comes to visit me says absolute conversation took place. She's in the passenger seat and I'm driving in LA. She goes Craig, what are you going to do about that flood your house? I go that's alright mom. I got my own wet back. You know, wet back. Went back. She thought I said a derogatory term for a Mexican. This what she thought and she knows I'm not that way. I'm the opposite she so she goes my my Craig, that is an awful thing to say. And I'm going What are you talking about? Mom? A lot of people have them. It's California. El Nino their necessity. Because you have your own I go, I got my another garage

Jeff Dwoskin 46:47

there handy.

Craig Shoemaker 46:48

On and on it goes. And she's assuming that her her like, quote unquote, liberal son, hollywood son, you know, she were from Philadelphia has turned into this racist. So and then ends with She goes, Well, where do you get one? She's fascinating. I go to Home Depot. There's all anyway. So that's the conversation. I told that conversation on stage, which is very funny. And it's true. Eight people got up and left. Midway through this story. Pay I just got up, I'm sure where are you going? racist. It's like so that's where we are right now. The comics are just first in line to be beaten down even more than we were already. It's amazing. I don't want to sound like a victim. But I am sounding like a person that's saying, Let's encourage the comedians. Don't just stand back. And I said, I said last week, I did a zoom show. So you don't like a joke. He's got it. he or she's got another one coming in like one second. Just wait, just move on from it just I didn't like that one. Did you have to bow boo or groan or protest? Just move on to the next joke. But that's not what we're doing now. No,

Jeff Dwoskin 47:58

everyone's extremely sensitive. Yeah, I see it every day people connect dots. And whether the dots are actually connectable or not. Even if they're out of order, and they don't make sense. If somehow they can thread a story that fits would they want to talk about they'll do it, they'll find a way. And it's it's just it's hard. It's hard to you know, you got to be here. You can't even open your mouth.

Craig Shoemaker 48:22

And open you know, it sucks is the day is a very small portion of people. It's very, very small. But it's parently it's a powerful voice because they threaten advertisers. That's their big thing or they threaten you know, so it's just people live in fear. I'm like living your own life. live your own life and just what makes you laugh. enjoy that. Don't have other people's criticism of what's funny and what's not. You have your own sense of self have your own sense of humor, and move on to the ones that resonate with you. You don't have to watch the ones that don't

Jeff Dwoskin 48:55

exactly Alright, so speaking of hilarious sense of humor, I definitely want to cover in it love master right so you're the love master that's your that's your thing that's what you're known

Craig Shoemaker 49:07

that's what got me that's what got me yeah the money the love bad spot bought me a home

Jeff Dwoskin 49:15

so that's it's sort of like you got your your onstage persona. And then you go into you become this love master character was a little sad as well. Now though, sorry. He's actually

Craig Shoemaker 49:26

Oh, yeah. He was there. He Oh, he's a stereo. And you know, I'll tell you the word spawn from was I was a geek in high school, which I'm assuming Can we say that you were as well? If you

Jeff Dwoskin 49:39

say it,

Craig Shoemaker 49:40

yes. I could say what would you believe it or not? Right?

Jeff Dwoskin 49:43

Yes. Okay.

Craig Shoemaker 49:44

So so we're in agreement there. This is how most comedians were geeks in high school, which is where a lot of suffering happened for people like us. So the way to deal with it was they always wanted bad guys. So I gave them the bad guy. And that's the characters that As bad guy, it's a character I've been when people get offended by this, by the way, I go out of my mind. It's like character, just like you watch a character. You know, like in The Godfather, there's people killing each other. But it you know, it's just, but you're watching the movie and enjoying it. So enjoy the character. So, yeah, he's a sexual guy. So the girls would go, Oh, you're my friend. And I was so geeky. I had this high voice. I was voted shortest in the school. I'm six two now, which is weird. But I was I had no pubic hair. I would take showers Jim showers. It looks like it look like a wall switch on a panel. That's what I had going on down there. And so, so I'm already not feeling great. And the girls are all you know, using the F word friend. Sit down like, Oh, yeah, baby. Give the geek a chance. That's right, baby. I love you so good. Your neighbor, I'll have a smoke baby. Oh, six feet. So still distance and good baby. That's just a tip for the love master. That's my new COVID version of the love master. But anyway, so yeah, he channels through me. And most people have fun with it. There's occasionally bad sex as you know, they don't understand. Look at the attempt of the comic or look who they really are. I'm like, I'm like a major feminist. Actually. I'm saying that you think I'm saying these guys are great, guys. No, I'm saying don't go for these guys. These guys are pigs. But actually, I had women that went for the love master in my past. I swear to God. I've had women that just want to sleep with the love Master, not me. I had it happen one night I was in Seattle. And I'll admit it, it was a one nighter. And I convinced her to go up to my hotel room. And we're in the elevator. Oh, yeah, press 1212 That's right. That's be folded in half baby. I mean, it was it was like that, right? She said, Oh, god, that's so Oh, and we get in we get in bed. And then she's and then I somehow I broke out of character became me and i and i was done in five seconds. I was such a disappointment. I was nothing like the love Master said. I always think to myself that she's if she ever sees me on TV go God. There's huff puff over here. Up up and go. But anyway, yeah, it's the love bass. There's been just, you know, fun for me. What's great about it is it's kind of what's good about this is I can keep changing the lines. So it's like a best of the people requests. they yell it out. And it's not like Springsteen, he can't change the lyrics. He can't do baby unborn to trot, baby on board to jog one night. Now, that said, you got to say the words right? This one I have literally hundreds of love master lines. We should do a hashtag love master lines so other people can write some new ones for me.

Jeff Dwoskin 52:59

That's a great idea. We'll do it. Yeah, we'll do it. We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. I think

Craig Shoemaker 53:04

that'd be a fun one. Yeah, I'd like to see that.

Jeff Dwoskin 53:07

Very cool. Is your Comedy Central special unzip that still rotating on Comedy set?

Craig Shoemaker 53:12

Oh, I have no I have no idea. No, I just wish I could. I wish I knew where these things were if I could get I think they just get lost and someone else collects your money for you. It's I think some day probably like three days before I die. They're gonna go by the way we have all this unclaimed money to pay for your casket.

Jeff Dwoskin 53:32

Awesome. Awesome. Well, this is great. I appreciate you stopping by and hanging with me.

Craig Shoemaker 53:38

Oh, my pleasure, man. It's been a while since we've known each other on Twitter. Now we now we had a little face to face time and it's great. And after this, I'm looking forward to having more followers that follow you. We will

Jeff Dwoskin 53:51

get we will get you more Twitter followers. We will so everyone follow Craig on Twitter. What's your Twitter handle

Craig Shoemaker 53:57

the love master

Jeff Dwoskin 53:58

of course and I need your

Craig Shoemaker 54:00

Instagram engagement to I'm official Craig Shoemaker on Instagram. And please, someone tell me you heard me on here. So I can know that my hour was worth it. But

Jeff Dwoskin 54:12

that is a lot of pressure on me.

Craig Shoemaker 54:15

That was now you know, comedy. You know, truth is the best for comedy. So there's some truth in that but no, no, I did enjoy myself. I've been wanting to meet you for a while and admire your tweets and and now admire you as a person. So I'm glad we're here.

Jeff Dwoskin 54:31

Likewise have admired you from afar and definitely went to the clubs started to open up again, folks. And when Craig Shoemaker comes to your town, it's a must see. It's a must see. He's definitely a comedic highlight.

Craig Shoemaker 54:44

Thank you. It comes see me. Come check out my schedule. Craig shoemaker.com and sign up for my shoes letter. You get a little entertained. Find out what's going on find out where you can get your laughter medicine. Right.

Jeff Dwoskin 54:56

That's right. It's all there. So there thanks again. was oh my god, that was so much fun. I couldn't even believe I got to speak with Craig Shoemaker. Ah, that was that was incredible. Thanks for sharing that with me. And please when the club's open back up Do not miss an opportunity to see Craig and the love master live in your town. I guarantee it'll be the greatest night ever.

Alright, so time for the hashtag roundup trend of the week. Okay, so I had invited Craig to join me to his game that we did today we recorded yesterday, in today's game was fake facts, and it was #FakeThighlandFacts, so it kind of ties into the whole Donald Trump and his misspeaking about saying Thailand as Thailand. So I run a fake facts game and we did fake thigh land facts. And here's some of the best Okay, #FakeThighlandFacts. These are fake folks. But so is the eyeland. ck, who also gets hosted. Trump's favorite city in Thailand is Bangkok. All right. Okay, here's another one. And you can find all these at Jeff Dwoskin show on Twitter. Go to there. Follow it. That's my Twitter handle for the podcast. Fake Thailand facts cannot take wing men to the bar only thigh men are allowed. All right. If you like five and you should visit Buddha pressed Buddha breast. Buddha breast that's a good one. That's funny. There are gap stores in Thailand, but they're called thigh gaps. The number one division Thailand is chicken Pad Thai. In here is a fake Thailand fact that you may have already known. It's the birthplace of Suzanne Somers. And they're thighmaster. Oh, and here's some reality until COVID-19 thought Thailand's greatest health crisis was shaping.

Alright, we do these games every day all day, check out hashtag Roundup, add hashtag roundup on Twitter. Download the app. Have some fun with us. Be sure to tell all your friends about the podcast. Like Subscribe, we're on iHeartRadio, Pandora, Spotify, Apple podcasts, Google podcasts anywhere you listen to podcasts. Thank you very much for joining us, and we'll see you next week.

Announcer 57:44

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host Jeff Dwoskin. Now go repeat everything you've heard and sound like a genius. catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai