#12 How to Quarantine a Guy in 14 Days w/Brad Mislow

Announcer 0:00

Looking to sound like you know what's going on in the world social strategy, comedy and other funny stuff, well join the club and settle in for the Jeff Dwoskin show. It's not the podcast we deserve. But the podcast we all need with your host, Jeff Dwoskin.

Jeff Dwoskin 0:18

All right, lad, thank you very much, once again, for bringing us into Episode 12 of the Jeff Dwoskin show. So excited to be here, we got an amazing, amazing show lined up. My friend Brad mizos is going to be here a little later, from his quarantine. And that's can be fun for us now for him. He's stuck there. But he's making the best of it. And he's got a message for us all. So I'm excited to talk with him.

My daughter was listening to an episode which I was excited about. She gave me some advice. She said, Jeff, why she said Daddy, but whatever. You know what I mean? She said, Daddy, you need better segue. She just does. Anyway, at its center. here's a here's a segue.

We're going to talk about social media. But Baba, alright, I think that was great. I think you clearly understood there was a change and what was going to happen. So I wanted to talk about one quick Twitter tip. didn't do any tips last week, because the show was so long, I by tip I want to share today is on Twitter. When you're all twittering, I think one of the greatest features. And I was surprised I was talking to my wife. And she's like, I don't use that. And I think it's the greatest feature ever. There's a bookmark feature. So when you're on Twitter, and like you got these million tweets flying at you, you're like, oh, that'd be great. But I don't have time to read that. There's a little drop down. And one of the options is add tweet to bookmarks. And then that adds it to a private list of bookmark tweets that you can go back and look at later. So if someone says something bad about you, or the president says something you want to check out later, or there's an article, you just bookmark it, and then it's there. And then you just go to the bookmark section of your profile. And voila, it's all there. And as you want, you can remove stuff from the bookmarks as well, to me, it's the greatest feature, the greatest thing ever. There you go. I just, I just improved your lives. Probably a lot. Probably a lot. You're welcome. And that's the end of social media tip.

And our sponsor this week is light bulbs, light bulbs, you know, you can just hold them over your head. And that's how people know you have an idea. Yeah, it's not just for lighting up a room. It's also for lighting up your mind light bulbs. I can't thank my sponsors enough. They're the reason we're able to do this week after week, please support them. If you don't have any, please go and buy some light bulbs. I promise you, they're worth it. And you'll probably find a couple places around the house, say you think is a great place to put a light bulb.

And now it's time for the interview. Recently, my friend Brad was flying back from one of the hotspots back to New York, and he was forced into a 14 day quarantine due to state laws. So I wanted to connect with him. talk with him, so everyone could hear his story. want everyone to remember, all this is real. And we're all trying to stay safe and do everything that we can to keep everyone around us safe as well. So I hope you enjoy my conversation with my dear old friend, Brad. Oh, well, we have a special edition of the Jeff Dwoskin show. We're going deep, deep deep into the pandemic and we're going deep into hashtag wear masks. We're going deep into quarantine. We're here live but you're not live but when you hear this will be taped to whatever Do you know what I mean? The with Brad Mislow... Mislowwww that's

Brad Mislow 4:10

when you get to the flames button.

Jeff Dwoskin 4:13

Yeah, as Brad who I'm sure you've read about is quarantined. State issued quarantine.

Brad Mislow 4:21

Yeah, man, state issue quarantine state of New York. So

Jeff Dwoskin 4:26

tell us tell us what happened. Tell us what happened.

Brad Mislow 4:28

All right. Well, it starts out very sad. So to your listeners I apologize for this is going to start in incredible. Bummer. My father passed away. Very sorry. Oh, yeah. So Hey, everyone, just everyone just get stopped. No, I'm not doing this. Now. Just kidding. If you're still listening, please listen. It's a good story. My father passed away and I had to go to Atlanta. First funeral. He actually died when I got there. So I was there. We did the funeral. I spent a week with my mother just you know, doing all the things that I I had to do to help her. And my sister Also, my father died of COVID my sister also had COVID but she's way healthier, and she just had headaches and, uh, and like it was tired. So but so she couldn't be around my mother. So it was just me. So it was a very stressful week, people grieving and, you know, especially in this time, and you know, I'm in I was in a state, obviously, Georgia is one of the many states that are on the tri state, New Jersey, Connecticut, New York quarantine list. In fact, as a joke to my son who went with me, the entire confederacy is on the on the quarantine list, and now with the addition of Virginia, Maryland with the entire Confederacy. So I knew that coming back, I'd have to do a two week quarantine. And I couldn't stay at my home because my daughter is is immunocompromised. So that leaves me you know, so that leaves me with a man without a country. And there's a program that New York City has it's run by the Department of Health, you could Google it, check it out. It's New York. It's called the NYC COVID-19 Hotel program. Where if you're a resident of the city of New York, and or a health care worker, and you cannot quarantine at home, they have a hotel, which is the beautiful LaGuardia Plaza and Elmhurst, New York, Queens, for those of you who don't know, your NYC geography, where you can stay for up to 14 days, whether you're sick or not. I was tested when I was in Georgia, I tested negative and my son tested negative. But once we hopped on the plane, the clock starts over. So if you're flying to New York, in the next, probably, you know who knows when from any southern state, or California and i think i think Idaho and Arizona a couple other states on the list. You have to quarantine for 14 days, and I didn't have anywhere else to go. It was not my first choice. Jeff, I did have some friends who know some very rich people in Westchester who are summering and they have these empty homes, you know, like mansion type homes. And like I was like, Oh, please just let let me stay there offering a sleeping bag, I'll just end up with a gigantic living room. They probably have a guest house, you know, but that didn't turn out well. And there was some other things I options I had. That didn't turn out well. So here I am in the COVID Hotel. And it's like a combination of hospital and prison.

Jeff Dwoskin 7:15

Sounds like a perfect combination. So

Brad Mislow 7:17

yeah, so I'm on day three. I'm on day three, because I found out Sunday was day zero. And what I got here they are they said while on the phone, they told me all this crazy information. Like you Only you have to stay there 14 days and you you could have one five minute break to go outside a day. I'm like five minutes. I said prisoners get an hour. I mean, you know, I could murder someone and be in jail. I get an hour and get 55 more minutes are time that I am here. But I felt when I came here they found out No, that's not true. We're not a prison, you you could you could schedule to have airbrakes if you want it every every few hours. And you could stay if you feel well, after three or four days you can go but in my situation I have to be tested. I gotta I gotta I cannot risk my daughter getting sick at all. So I'm going to get tested while I'm here and wait for that test result to come through. But that time it will probably 14 days anyway. And if you're symptom free for 14 days, you don't have it. Dude, have you been tested? Jeff? I haven't

Jeff Dwoskin 8:15

been tested. But I've barely barely left my house.

Brad Mislow 8:19

It's very unpleasant. It's very

Jeff Dwoskin 8:23

nice. Take a cotton swab. The way your brain?

Brad Mislow 8:27

Yeah, both nostrils. balm, both nostrils. We did it in Georgia and my son was holding on to a railing. And the southern nurse is like you gonna rip that railing right off?

Jeff Dwoskin 8:38

Sheeezz

Brad Mislow 8:39

um, yeah, it's suck.

Jeff Dwoskin 8:41

It's just a figure that how they figure out this is hey, this is how we test for COVID this thing, it's your brain

Brad Mislow 8:46

and rub the bottom of your eyeball. That's what it feels like. It's just it's just like, you know, it's like remember, like being a kid and sticking something up your nose and thinking okay, that's far enough. Yeah, these people just go they push on through. Just push on through. You know? There's no limits. There's no yeah, just keep going. It's like I think that was the threshold. Like how far can this light bright piece go in my nose? Well, now you find out

twice.

Jeff Dwoskin 9:14

So at least you know what to expect now.

Brad Mislow 9:17

So what do you want to know here? I am in room 723 LaGuardia Plaza Hotel. But have you seen my what the hallways look like?

Jeff Dwoskin 9:25

Yeah, it looks a little bit like the shining.

Brad Mislow 9:27

It was it's creepy. I'm like, Oh my god, I need a big wheel. It's very shocking. Like, the patterns are different. But the colors are the same.

Jeff Dwoskin 9:34

So the message here for anyone listening is maybe this isn't the right wing democratic hoax. And this is real.

Brad Mislow 9:42

Well, it's funny you say that? Because when I was explaining to people, my friends who've been very supportive and I guess I'm getting more social media attention because my father died and people have been more I guess I'm in their feeds now. And so what I just said, you know, Hey, I'll be doing this. My friends who are on the right side of the spectrum are like oh my god. Are they? Are they throwing you in a van? And like take you there? I'm like, No, this is totally voluntary. Like, you know, there's this perception that once you live by the airport, you're like, you know, frogmarched out of the airport into Whitney car and take you to a hotel across the street. But that's not the case. I signed up for the site. I volunteered. And no booze by the way.

Jeff Dwoskin 10:19

No, boo. Louder.

Brad Mislow 10:20

No. booze. Yeah, I was I they searched my bat, like a security guard. Very nice security, or everyone here is extremely nice. I don't want to I don't want to crap on them. They been doing a great job. And they have a very hard job. All the nurses and you get temperature checks every few few hours. In fact, there's one coming up in about 20 minutes, and then they drive you back till I assume no, no, I don't know.

Jeff Dwoskin 10:40

That's, that's the answer.

Brad Mislow 10:42

I mean, yes. I mean, the thing is, yes. Because they had that little, you know, little like, temperature gun. So I'm sure it would still have the same result. So um, you know, they did search my bags, and they asked me why the drugs or the alcohol to have any sharps and I was, like, no, and they're like, all right, yeah. They were very nice about it. But so we can we come they give three meals a day and the food's okay. It's not horrible. It's cooked in doubt, you know, in a hotel kitchen. So it's not like room service. It's, it's that kind of food.

Jeff Dwoskin 11:09

If you want, they just bring you stuff.

Brad Mislow 11:11

They just bring it to you. I mean, they they asked, you know, do you have any dietary restrictions? And I said, I don't like pork and they went, Okay. I explained to my daughter who's 17 what I got for breakfast one day, I said, and she's like, she's curious. She's watching for breakfast. I said, Well, they gave me a single serving bowl of Cheerios, Cheerios, a small carton of milk, an apple and a cheese stick and a little thing of orange juice that you get off pills. She goes, Dad, you got the kids meal. Oh, my God. I did. She's like a cheese stick and an apple. Come on. You can get food delivered here. But not by anyone. You know? Like, if you know if, like, you know, let's say someone wants to bring you a big CD, they would say no, go away. But if you order it from a place down the street, that's fine. Hold on. I think someone's at my door. Well, we could do this live. Oh, I need a mask. Hold on. Coming coming. This is a lot. This is a live temperature check. So hold on people. 96.1 96.1 is good.

Jeff Dwoskin 12:08

Yeah, it's good. I would hate to have had tragic news.

Brad Mislow 12:13

Imagine that. That's not funny. Um, but um, yeah. So yeah, that was that was my temperature check.

Jeff Dwoskin 12:22

What was New York, like, during the hot time? I mean, you had a Greg, Governor. So that's, that's good. I feel like we do too. In Michigan, you want

Brad Mislow 12:30

to go back to the dark times, before you're born, you know, before the Empire. It was really okay. I would say that the really peak of it was March, April and a little bit of May, that's when we realized how long it would be a lot of wiping down of groceries. You know, I, you know, my son came home for spring break and never left. You know, my son, sorry, my son is a college student at the University at Albany. So it's a school like, you know, 17,000 kids from all over, you know, New York State and various other regions and, and he came home and my daughter stopped going to school. So we had four people in a house now, and trying your virtual school virtual learning. And I guess that was everybody's story, you know, to two working parents trying to do their job and try to adjust, but it was eerie that no one was taking the subway. And you heard sirens all the time. You just it was a constant wail of sirens all the time. It was very strange. And we just didn't go anywhere. I went to get groceries. And that's it. I think I went to grocery store and CVS. And that was the only place I went, I started running more. So instead of like maybe once a week, I was running two or three times a week. And we were just careful. And then we know that was also do we wear our masks, we wear gloves. What do we do? It was all this misinformation. But we just knew that it was not the time to get sick. It was not the time to go to a hospital. It was not the time to, you know, be near any body. And then it was really we were hunkered down just the sirens though. Just the constant sirens. Were just we're just strange. And hearing like taking a walk like on a Friday night or I put my dog on the block. I live by this highway and there's no cars and no air traffic. No one was fine. Like and the air was cleaner. The air became very clean. And it was very, I'm lucky cuz I live in a neighborhood that's not like Manhattan. So I was you know, I had some more space. I have a car I had a little more freedom than say someone who lives in apartment and can't leave. But it was it was odd. It was very strange. And now it's a little it's a little bit better. It's certainly not in the clear. You can't you know, there's no indoor dining and I certainly am not stepping foot in on a subway anytime soon or in an office building even though I just flew which I never said I would do and which actually wasn't that bad. The flights actually weren't bad. It's just the just the knowing that you're coming back and having to quarantine that I think is was worse than the actual flight the people on the flights were calm and and I hear people I know people like we're taking the subway and They're like, Oh, it's fine. It's you know, it's it's not crowded at all, but I'm not doing New York. Yeah, New York was. And then also at the time, New Yorkers were telling the rest of the country, this is gonna be you. This is bad. And the rest of the country was like, no, it's actually except for Michigan, because I think that you guys, you know, got hit hardest way like we did, but not me. I mean, it definitely had higher numbers than the rest of the country. But now look at it. It's the country's a mess. And people were saying, there was an editorial, I think, by Bret Stevens said that America can't live by New York's rules. Because you know, it's easy to dump on New York. You know, it's easy, it's fun. It's easy, and it's fun. But like someone repost that on Twitter, back to the guy who wrote it and said, I guess this didn't age well, very well. You know, just because you don't have subways. And, and a crowded city doesn't mean this thing won't spread. Because people are still close to people at some point.

Jeff Dwoskin 15:50

Yeah. Even in Michigan that one of the colleges bunch kids went to bar, then boom,

Brad Mislow 15:56

or you go to a pool party. And there's a super sprinter, which could be a kid who doesn't even know he has it. So it's so you know, but people were getting nutty. People wanted this to end too soon. The first time I stepped foot in Manhattan was June, I drove because a friend of mine was and it was like, you know, let's take a socialist walk. I'm going crazy. And this is a childhood friend of mine. She's actually in media. You know, she's on NPR. She's like a semi famous person. And that Well, no, she, you know, she is, you know, so she's like, I just, and we're childhood friends. So I met her for a walk in Central Park. And it was comical. I drove up to her building and parked right away, which is like what you do in sitcoms, you know, it's like you never, you know, I found a space immediately. I'm like, Well, I got there. 20 minutes early, because I left you know, I left with more time I'm thinking, Okay, I guess we'll go to the bank. We ended up taking a walk in Central Park. And it was amazing how many people weren't wearing masks, I would say half the people weren't wearing masks. This is June. And that really disturbed me. And we were walking past people who were hanging outside bars, like they were serving the bars were open to serve outside, which is what you see now, along with outdoor dining and nobody's wearing a mask, I guess because they were drinking. But still that was disturbing to see. You know, it's it's the same here. It's it's hard to go places and I'll look the other way. I'll hold my breath. People aren't wearing masks, right. I love wearing a mask. I mean, my you know, I just I like to be able you can do funny things because like you can make faces that people when they don't know it.

Jeff Dwoskin 17:19

Right. I think I think there's a lot of benefits to it outside of the health. Well, sure. I

Brad Mislow 17:23

mean, also, like, you know, I mean, like how genius is to have a Darth Vader mask or, you know, I mean, it's so brandable you know, you you direct communications. This is a great branding. Someone's gonna make a lot of money

Jeff Dwoskin 17:33

if they're not already.

Brad Mislow 17:35

So on the flight back to New York, there was a family and nothing enrages me more when I see like a pre pubescent or pubescent teen with like a with like a trump shirt on. I'm like, you don't know, crap. They I think they do it too, because they know it pisses people off. They like it, but they have no idea what it means. And also probably because daddy likes Trump too. It's just to me like a recipe for disaster. So this kid was on the flight, and he had a Trump 20 mask on. And I just wanted to say, I bet the irony is lost on you. But I doubt that I doubt this kid knew what the word your name had. So you know, I didn't want to start an international journal playing.

Jeff Dwoskin 18:09

Alright, so what are you doing? You playing a lot of solitaire? What do you do then? Just eating and sleeping and Solitaire? Well,

Brad Mislow 18:16

you know, I'm dipping my toe back into work. I'm a creative director for an ad agency. And you know, they were they've been great about taking a lot of time but but since I'm, honestly work is something to do. I need to get that back in my life. So I've been listening in on meetings and slowly getting involved into projects. I have my guitar here, I have a Mexican day, the dead coloring book, I forced myself yesterday to read an actual print publication. So I actually sat and read and I have a book here I can crack open to people are the great about suggesting streaming some shows. I haven't got that That to me is a time suck. You know, I just do it even once you get sucked in a series. You're in the theories now and it's just so I haven't done that yet. Even though I'd love to I would love to write something I pitched an article idea to New York Magazine to see if if this has any kind of story idea to it. I'm calling a lot of friends have checked in because this is a very tender time right now with my father passing so I've been checking in with my parents and my sister and a lot of friends have come out of the woodwork I haven't talked to in years and that's been nice. That's been like the best thing ever to really connect with people. I know Jeff, you lost your father and I bet that was I get it. I get how hard that was, you know, and it's tough. Especially if you had the same relationship that I did. I don't know if you did. I'm guessing you did because you seem pretty functional and normal. And happy and sound any and obviously

Jeff Dwoskin 19:36

dad did a great job in four years. So I say four years ago.

Brad Mislow 19:40

Yeah. Wow. Fuck July man who can I say that horrible month, July. What else I've been doing. I've been trying to stay You know, I've been streaming a lot of fish. The band. Sorry, they had this. They have this concert series. They play a new concert, every live stream an old concert from their video archives. Those are like three hour jobs. So that takes a long time to get through either as background music You're watching it. Oh, those who have HBO Max, there is a rebooted Looney Tunes series. Have you heard about this?

Jeff Dwoskin 20:07

No, because HBO max isn't on Roku or Amazon. I have HBO Max and can't watch it.

Brad Mislow 20:14

Well, hold on HBO Go is going to be absorbed in HBO max. So Roku better get its act together. I mean, I guess because they have what HBO now there are too many HBO apps, HBO Max is going to be their mothership. So Warner Brothers really made a reboot of Looney Tunes with all the characters. This is attempted throughout the years, they finally got the secret sauce down, they finally got it to be as funny and irreverent and as authentic and close to the ones that we grew up on. Because I was watching the first one I remember I'm like morning, I'm like, I lost my dad. And I'm watching buttons do Bugs Bunny, and I'm laughing. It is so funny. I totally recommend you. And they're and they're very short episodes are like two episodes on the series. And they're very authentic to the to the time they still drive like old cars. And they and I mean, the jokes are still rapidfire the probably little more sensitive than they were then. But at one point, I think Porky Pig holds up a phone, because he's like a firetruck to give directions. But it's funny because he ends up getting four rights, which goes back to where they were so you know, but it's Um, no, it's really done. Well, I recommend if you need a laugh, and you and you love the Warner Brothers cartoon, they really they did it right. And the voices are great, too. They get the really good voice people. I think Tom Kenny from SpongeBob is one of the voices watching the Looney Tunes series. It's worth it. Somehow every one of these conversations I do turns into streaming suggestions.

Jeff Dwoskin 21:39

Well, it's an undercurrent. It's an under the I will thank you for sharing your story. I'm very sorry again about your father. It's even harder. I know during this crazy time. Yeah, I have to deal with that. Thank you for your selflessness and self quarantine yourself and setting an example for all of us. That's very brave of you. Oh, sure. We appreciate it. And I guess the real message is everyone this is real. It's real. It's real. Everyone be safe. And Brad, thank you so much. Sure.

Brad Mislow 22:09

I keep listening because Jeff Dwoskin is since I've met him at 16 is and continues to be one of the funniest people. I know. Like I'm looking at you right now. I just want to laugh because, you know, I know I've known you long enough to know how your brain works. There's a lot of fun stuff in there.

Jeff Dwoskin 22:25

Thank you, my friend. Sure. Appreciate that. The moral of this story, my friends is stay safe, wear a mask, do the right thing, social distance. Hats off to my friend Brad for doing all the right things to keep him and his family and everyone around him safe. Now it's time to look into trends. Hope my daughter appreciates these segues. Alright, we didn't do one of these last week either. But we're gonna jump into hashtag Roundup. That's an awesome thing on twitter at hashtag Roundup, and they have an app as well. They play hashtag games all the time real fun stuff, found a gray one that I thought would be great. Based on the conversation I had with Brad. We did one not too long ago called quarantine a book. Brad said he was reading a book in his 14 day quarantine which I'm assuming many of you want what what what's a book? And I know I did. Who's can't remember the last time I seen one of those, but I've heard of them. And I hear they're, they're good. Okay, so these are dedicated to Brad. This is hashtag quarantine a book. It was done by Jody back in March as a guest game on hashtag Roundup. So I'm going to read some of these and I'm going to retweet them and they'll be on my Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show so you can check them out. Here's some for Brad who when he hears this is still going to be in quarantine. And he can check out these books. Gulliver's Travels to the kitchen. For Brad that could be like the mini fridge. Here's one, the old man in the sequester. That's pretty good outbreak twist. Instead of Oliver Twist. All right. How to Avoid friends and socially distance people. These are great pugs for quarantine. Diary Of A homeschooled kid. The Tiger King, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Oh, that is a good quarantine a book. All right. We play these fun games all the time on hashtag roundup every day all day. So check them out. I was reading those to you from my bookmark feature. Yes. See, I practice what I preach. All right. Speaking of which, I hope you enjoyed the episode. I hope you've enjoyed the past episodes were on Apple and Spotify and Pandora now, so likes subscribe, tell your friends check it out. And we'll see you next time.

Announcer 25:05

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Jeff Dwoskin show with your host, Jeff Dwoskin. Go repeat everything you've heard and sound like a genius. catch us online at the Jeff Dwoskin show.com or follow us on Twitter at Jeff Dwoskin show and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai